Quote:
Originally Posted by plastroncafe
My advice is this:
You're under no obligation to be her friend, not now or not ever again.
|
Late to the thread, but I can 100% vouch for this. She may have (or think she has) the best intentions, but the person playing the "let's still be friends" card is almost always the person who's moved on already to some degree. And that's an important thing to remember, because if you're the one being broken up with, that means the other person has been thinking about it or even planning it for a while. They've had time to sort through their feelings and come to terms with the change... but you haven't. So asking for friendship in that moment is a very unfair, and I'd say even selfish, situation for them to put you in. Just because they're ready for that doesn't mean you are, and you shouldn't be pressured into a situation you're not comfortable with or ready for.
Some romantic relationships can transition into healthy friendships, but not all, and even the ones that do will always take some time to get there. And if you're hurting like it seems you are, you're going to need time and space to move past it and kind of rediscover who you are on your own. She may want you in her life, but she chose to end your relationship, and all choices come with consequences. I think a lot of people make major life decisions but don't want to "lose" anything in the process, but that's not how it works. And you may still want her in your life, but if any part of that desire is romantic, spending time with her is very likely just going to stop you from healing. You don't owe her anything now, and you should 100% focus on yourself -- doing what you want to do, making yourself happy, and kinda "rebooting" your life. Try to enjoy that as much as you can. You can do anything you want. Enjoy the freedom and put your energies toward building an even better life.
I hope things have gotten better since you first posted.