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11-15-2015, 07:09 PM | #1 |
The Iron Dinosaur
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Studio Snowlion HQ
Posts: 3,021
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Break up advice.
My girlfriend broke up with me. She said our relationship was good but that we were too different to keep it up together. But, it seems like it's because she just wants to be with this other guy instead.
How do you get past having your girlfriend of two years possibly leaving you for somebody else, a friend of hers that she had a fling with before you (and so many female friends have had bad experiences dating) and once assured you you had no reason to be jealous of, when she still says she cares and wants to be friends, and you don't want to be angry at her because aside from this you still think highly of her as a person, but, you feel really really hurt? Last edited by Tetsu Deinonychus; 11-15-2015 at 09:48 PM. |
11-15-2015, 07:27 PM | #2 | ||
PerfectlyTunedFightEngine
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: The Upsidedown
Posts: 7,926
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Being dumped is the worst, and I'm really sorry you're going through that right now. Rejection just sucks.
My advice is this: You're under no obligation to be her friend, not now or not ever again. For right now you should concentrate on not feeling like crap. So do things that you enjoy doing. If you feel up to hanging out with friends, do that. If you feel like eating a pint of Hagen Das while mainlining "Brooklyn 99" on Hulu...do that. Just keep in mind through it all that this will pass.
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11-15-2015, 07:32 PM | #3 | |
The Iron Dinosaur
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Studio Snowlion HQ
Posts: 3,021
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Edit: And, it's possible said guy might not be the reason she dumped me. I'm just worried if he is it will make things way more awkward. I was listening to a friend of mine who's a little paranoid about him (one of his exes) who's very protective of me. Last edited by Tetsu Deinonychus; 11-15-2015 at 07:50 PM. |
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11-15-2015, 07:47 PM | #4 | |||
PerfectlyTunedFightEngine
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: The Upsidedown
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If she's really a friend worth keeping she'll understand that you're hurting and give you the space you'll need to get over the rejection.
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11-15-2015, 07:48 PM | #5 |
Mad Scientist
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 1,321
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Speaking as an ex-girlfriend who is still good friends with her ex-boyfriend from 8 years ago, its all time. You need time apart. You need to be with good friends that can help you take your mind off things for a while.
And, after a lot of time with good friends, you need to remember how to enjoy being alone (which is the hardest part). Whether that's reading, music, comics, drawing, writing, etc. Find something that you enjoy doing alone that you do just to make you happy and it will make your life all the better. Once you remember how to live without that person, it makes it a lot easier to be friends again. |
11-15-2015, 07:57 PM | #6 |
Overlord
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 40,949
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Just sever all ties. You'll all be better off. You'll be surprised how quickly you forget about someone when you each go your separate ways.
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11-15-2015, 08:05 PM | #7 |
Overlord
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 13,980
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I agree on the alone time. Take the time out to just be you and try to busy yourself with whatever life was like before you were with you.
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"I was down with TMNT once, but then they changed what TMNT was. Now what I was down with is no longer TMNT and what TMNT now is seems weird and scary. And it'll happen to YOU." Check out my blog for Comic Reviews and other things. https://markepicblogofrandomness.blogspot.com/ I also started The AEW Crew, the All Elite Wrestling Fan Club! https://www.facebook.com/groups/637508120044168/ |
11-15-2015, 08:15 PM | #8 | |||
The Iron Dinosaur
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Studio Snowlion HQ
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11-15-2015, 09:17 PM | #9 |
Overlord
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 13,980
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It happens. It's time to discover who you are without her, ya know?
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"I was down with TMNT once, but then they changed what TMNT was. Now what I was down with is no longer TMNT and what TMNT now is seems weird and scary. And it'll happen to YOU." Check out my blog for Comic Reviews and other things. https://markepicblogofrandomness.blogspot.com/ I also started The AEW Crew, the All Elite Wrestling Fan Club! https://www.facebook.com/groups/637508120044168/ |
12-06-2015, 04:51 PM | #10 | |
So Long, Stinktown!
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,463
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Some romantic relationships can transition into healthy friendships, but not all, and even the ones that do will always take some time to get there. And if you're hurting like it seems you are, you're going to need time and space to move past it and kind of rediscover who you are on your own. She may want you in her life, but she chose to end your relationship, and all choices come with consequences. I think a lot of people make major life decisions but don't want to "lose" anything in the process, but that's not how it works. And you may still want her in your life, but if any part of that desire is romantic, spending time with her is very likely just going to stop you from healing. You don't owe her anything now, and you should 100% focus on yourself -- doing what you want to do, making yourself happy, and kinda "rebooting" your life. Try to enjoy that as much as you can. You can do anything you want. Enjoy the freedom and put your energies toward building an even better life. I hope things have gotten better since you first posted.
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Last edited by Bry; 12-06-2015 at 10:28 PM. |
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11-15-2015, 07:28 PM | #11 |
tactical blackquill
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Texas, but not for much longer
Posts: 3,645
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Tell her you don't want to talk to her for the time being, then just distance yourself until the pain heals.
Eh, it's the Netkeeper-approved way of dealing with people problems: ignore the piss out of that person until the bad things go away. Can't always work and I know I'm technically running from my problems, but damn if it isn't a piece of cake to do.
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11-18-2015, 12:00 PM | #12 |
Banned
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11-18-2015, 01:23 PM | #13 | |
Weed Whacker
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Auburn, WA
Posts: 29,137
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OK, that's terrible advice. But then I really shouldn't be giving anyone relationship advice.
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11-18-2015, 01:58 PM | #14 |
Emperor
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Portugal
Posts: 8,909
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I'm sure you're not the only one who thinks that might help. Although not everyone is into casual sex. OP seems like he cared about his gf, so I doubt he'll be wanting to have sex with other girls anytime soon.
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11-18-2015, 05:01 PM | #15 | |
The Iron Dinosaur
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Studio Snowlion HQ
Posts: 3,021
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@Shuriken: Thanks. And, hang in there. |
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11-20-2015, 12:44 AM | #16 |
Second City Shinobi
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Chi-town
Posts: 4,182
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^^ I'm good man. It took like 3 months for me to say that honestly and consistently but yeah. You're cool man you'll be alright.
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11-22-2015, 07:57 AM | #17 |
Leo-holic
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Indiana
Posts: 16,912
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You do what you feel is best. I probably would just sever ties with them and never have anything to do with them again, but that's just me. If you feel you still want her in your life and she's sorry she did that to you, then you should give yourself some time to heal and then reconnect with her.
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11-23-2015, 09:24 PM | #18 |
Banned
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