Please Help Me Talk to Girls

[Commenter 42]

Originally Posted by ToTheNines

Be David Caruso in "Jade".

****, just be David Caruso, all the damn time.

[plastroncafe]

If you're at all concerned that she doesn't like you romantically, and you are not in the market for a new friend, then back away. No one has time for that nice guy creeper ********.

And I know it's probably not my place to say it, what with this being your safe space and all, but you need to lay off the use of the word prude. It will not help you moving forward to consider all girls who don't want to touch you as prudes, and all girls that do want to touch you as lacking in quality.

Not just because it's detrimental to the women in question, but also because it doesn't speak highly of your own self-worth.

[BubblyShell22]

My advice is that if she doesn't want physical contact right now, don't push it. I'm the same way when it comes to kissing in public. I'm not comfortable with it and when my BF did that at school once, I just politely told him I'm not comfortable with kissing in public like we were doing. A quick kiss on the lips, a kiss on the cheek, a hug, or a kiss on the hand in I'm fine with in public as well as holding hands too. But sharing a long kiss in public is not my thing. He understood that and never did it again.

Maybe once she gets more comfortable with you, she'll be ready to hug you and if that's the case, then just slow down and wait for her to get comfortable. Ask permission first and if she says no, respect that she doesn't want to do it and don't get mad at her.

Other than that, you're good to go.

[IndigoErth]

Some people also just aren't as eagerly hands-on with other people either. Some people are huggers and whatnot, others are simply more hands-off by nature or others, as Bubbly said, are more private, and often not the same thing as being a "pude."

[raph27]

Originally Posted by plastroncafe

If you're at all concerned that she doesn't like you romantically, and you are not in the market for a new friend, then back away. No one has time for that nice guy creeper ********.

This. So much this. Sometimes things just don't work out, and trying to force something will just make everything worse.

[The Deadman]

Ask if she likes dank memes. Girls love dank memes.

[Zak The Neutrino]

Originally Posted by Krutch

Yeah, Powder covered the ground rules. The rest you'll have to tailor to the girl specifically.

I'd also like to throw in to remember to be present. Enjoy the moment. If there's any long pauses or silences, don't let them go to your head; Enjoy those, too. Don't be too caught up in trying to plan ahead or steer the conversation. Girls pick up on that. Being relaxed displays confidence which is key.

To go a little further on the "girls don't want to date their psychiatrists" thing, I'd say if a girl comes to you to vent, quickly sympathize and change direction to something fun. The reason for this is, if a girl finds you amazing at talking through their problems, two things happen. One, she doesn't want to lose that and therefor won't risk any romantic endeavours. And two, you're being associated with negative emotions. Bad day? Oh, I should talk to Snake. Don't associate yourself with being the "good listener", associate with being the "fun, interesting guy" who can take them out of the situation so they can enjoy themselves. If she keeps coming to you for advice, stand your ground: offer some quick words of sympathy and advice, then immediately offer her something to go do with you to take her mind off things.

To bounce back to C42, girls don't like "assholes", but they love challenge and confidence; something most assholes have ample amounts of. Don't sacrifice yourself in the process but don't be afraid to be a little daring and show some backbone. If you're not the type of guy who can dispute a 2 dollar charge on a receipt on a date, or ask to send food back because its not cooked to her liking, how do you think she's going to feel if the time comes for you to protect her?

Lastly, as superficial as it sounds, put some time into your image. Yes, "the good ones won't care about looks" but how is a stranger supposed to know your personality from a glance? Dress nice, take care of your body, and girls will notice. It's not the deal sealer like it is for men, but it gives you a leg up on most of the other guys out there who just throw on whatever's not wrinkled most on their floor. Experiment and try looks out until you find one that suits you.

Hope that helps, man. Best of luck.

This is really good advice. I've gotten stuck in the friend zone way too many times for being a friend to vent to and help with issues.

[Prowler]

Ofc this thread is 3 pages long. These threads always get tons of replies on the internet.

You're in HS, right? Many girls at that age are shallow and won't give you a second look if they know you like anime, wrestling or video games. But don't let that bring you down. If you're not lucky with girls in HS you might be later in life where everyone is more mature and no longer has insane standards. And yes, plastron, I know many guys are shallow as well, but snake only seems to like girls, so it's irrelevant.

Powder's advice seems pretty solid to me, so there's not much else I can think of that could possibly help you out. Being shy can be a pain and what you need to do is put yourself out there and talk to people without sweating over it. This doesn't happen overnight, but a bit of practice everyday can fix that. A lot of guys end up being virgins at age 30 and above because they just don't have the guts to talk to women. And I assume you don't want to be on the same boat as them.

Originally Posted by Autbot_Benz

I honestly thought Cybercubed made this post

Same. Didn't we all?

[plastroncafe]

Originally Posted by Prowler

You're in HS, right? Many girls at that age are shallow and won't give you a second look if they know you like anime, wrestling or video games. But don't let that bring you down. If you're not lucky with girls in HS you might be later in life where everyone is more mature and no longer has insane standards. And yes, plastron, I know many guys are shallow as well, but snake only seems to like girls, so it's irrelevant.

It's only relevant if Snake considers himself among the shallow.
In which case I would also advise he keep an eye out for the girls he goes to school with that also like anime, wrestling, and video games, because they're there. They might not be obvious about it, but they're there if you know where and how to look.

[Prowler]

Originally Posted by ToTheNines

All of my successful* relationships were with girls who were easy to talk to and longtime good friends. No advice to be given there.

Any hot girls that I had forced conversation with for the purpose of screwing or even dating, just ended up being hollow and superficial, feeling like a waste of time. I mean, I guess it was worth it, but as you get older, good company far outweighs hot ass.


* = they all end up being **** eventually.

Yeah, honestly it's not hard to find good looking chicks out there. What's really harder is to find one with a personality you like. No matter how good looking a girl is, if she is braindead or doesn't have much/anything in common with me, I just can't get interested in her. And I'm not into casual sex, so...

[Zak The Neutrino]

Originally Posted by Prowler

Yeah, honestly it's not hard to find good looking chicks out there. What's really harder is to find one with a personality you like. No matter how good looking a girl is, if she is braindead or doesn't have much/anything in common with me, I just can't get interested in her. And I'm not into casual sex, so...

I think it's also hard to find the right balance of common interests. At least it was for me. For me you want someone that has some common interests because you want to be able to do things together you both enjoy however you don't want someone that likes everything you do because you want to do some things alone too.

[Prowler]

Originally Posted by plastroncafe

It's only relevant if Snake considers himself among the shallow.
In which case I would also advise he keep an eye out for the girls he goes to school with that also like anime, wrestling, and video games, because they're there. They might not be obvious about it, but they're there if you know where and how to look.

Back in my HS there were soe girls who liked anime and wrestling. They didn't hide it. Now, could there have been more? Possibly.

Originally Posted by Zak The Neutrino

I think it's also hard to find the right balance of common interests. At least it was for me. For me you want someone that has some common interests because you want to be able to do things together you both enjoy however you don't want someone that likes everything you do because you want to do some things alone too.

Well, everyone is unique so it's impossible to find everyone who likes everything you do.

I remember when I was younger seeing people change often in order to please their partner. Like, per example, changing their musical taste to match the one of their current bf/gf. I also remember this guy dropping Magic the Gathering for a while because the girl he liked hated that game.

[snake]

Originally Posted by plastroncafe

It's only relevant if Snake considers himself among the shallow.
In which case I would also advise he keep an eye out for the girls he goes to school with that also like anime, wrestling, and video games, because they're there. They might not be obvious about it, but they're there if you know where and how to look.

She's into some anime and video games. Not as much into anime as I am, but she's way more of a vidya person than I am.

[Zak The Neutrino]

Originally Posted by Prowler

Back in my HS there were soe girls who liked anime and wrestling. They didn't hide it. Now, could there have been more? Possibly.


Well, everyone is unique so it's impossible to find everyone who likes everything you do.

I remember when I was younger seeing people change often in order to please their partner. Like, per example, changing their musical taste to match the one of their current bf/gf. I also remember this guy dropping Magic the Gathering for a while because the girl he liked hated that game.

I don't mean literally everything but for example my first wife liked my car hobby and nerd movies too. So she wanted to go to everything and I could never just go do something with my guy friends. It got super annoying. My current wife has no issue with me going and seeing new movies with my nerd friends from work without her because she can take them or leave them.

[ToTheNines]

Originally Posted by Commenter 42

****, just be David Caruso, all the damn time.

[Prowler]

Originally Posted by ToTheNines

http://esq.h-cdn.co/assets/cm/15/07/...so-0409-lg.jpg

Didn't he avoid eye contact often, though? That is considered a sign of weakness.

[plastroncafe]

Originally Posted by Prowler

Didn't he avoid eye contact often, though? That is considered a sign of weakness.

Not in New England it isn't. It's a sign of having been raised with the proper disdain for humanity.

[Prowler]

Originally Posted by plastroncafe

Not in New England it isn't. It's a sign of having been raised with the proper disdain for humanity.

Brb moving to New England.

[Coola Yagami]

Originally Posted by plastroncafe

If you're at all concerned that she doesn't like you romantically, and you are not in the market for a new friend, then back away. No one has time for that nice guy creeper ********.

And I know it's probably not my place to say it, what with this being your safe space and all, but you need to lay off the use of the word prude. It will not help you moving forward to consider all girls who don't want to touch you as prudes, and all girls that do want to touch you as lacking in quality.

Not just because it's detrimental to the women in question, but also because it doesn't speak highly of your own self-worth.

I agree. When you said 'we didn't smash, we just played smash' that kinda rubbed me the wrong way. If you like the girl be sure to remember she's a person too, don't be so eager to screw her if you really do care about her.

[snake]

Originally Posted by Coola Yagami

I agree. When you said 'we didn't smash, we just played smash' that kinda rubbed me the wrong way. If you like the girl be sure to remember she's a person too, don't be so eager to screw her if you really do care about her.

I was joking. I can't even imagine f*cking her. I'm not into her like that.


I've never EVER attempted physical contact with her aside from dancing, which she was fine with