The New Café

[IMJ]

Originally Posted by newfan

I don't know why I am posting it on the drome, I have just found that my on-line friend of 20 years has passed away (started out as email pen pals) Though I expected to find an obituory when I searched his name, it is still a shock.

I had a similar experience a few weeks back when I found out a friend from college had committed suicide back in November. We had been catching up online here and there for the last two years or so and then nothing for like 4 months.

I had a nagging feeling that I'd find an obituary and that's exactly what I wound up finding online. We would have these conversations-via-messaging now and again and I could see that she had a lot going on. As time passed you could sort of sense her psychologically decompensating even further in our conversations. In the end she chose not to seek out help and my guess from her messages is that her schema broke down so badly that her sole focus became that everyone and anyone was involved in the scheme to "get her" and her kids.

It's a real shame and I understand completely what you mean by expecting it but still feeling the shock of it. On the spectrum of "loss" it's definitely a unique feeling given the appropriate emotional distance.

[newfan]

Originally Posted by IMJ

I had a similar experience a few weeks back when I found out a friend from college had committed suicide back in November. We had been catching up online here and there for the last two years or so and then nothing for like 4 months.

I had a nagging feeling that I'd find an obituary and that's exactly what I wound up finding online. We would have these conversations-via-messaging now and again and I could see that she had a lot going on. As time passed you could sort of sense her psychologically decompensating even further in our conversations. In the end she chose not to seek out help and my guess from her messages is that her schema broke down so badly that her sole focus became that everyone and anyone was involved in the scheme to "get her" and her kids.

It's a real shame and I understand completely what you mean by expecting it but still feeling the shock of it. On the spectrum of "loss" it's definitely a unique feeling given the appropriate emotional distance.

I'm sorry to hear, it's sad that some people feel there is no other help for them and they go into despair like that.

I remember a few years back he asked if we should have something in place so that if one of us dies, someone will let the other know, not something we think will happen.

[Papenbrook]

I am sorry for your friends, IMJ and newfan.

May they both rest peacefully.

[The Deadman]

Gotta get my foot taken care of next week when I go to the doctor's and I am not looking forward to it. Almost 8 years of being in pain off and on ever since I broke this damn thing.

[Storm Wolf]

I take a lot of issues with Healthcare in general, but one of my biggest issues is probably apathy among health care workers. I can't fathom people being in the profession and just not caring. Maybe I've just not been in the field long enough to hit this point? I've met some really judgemental and apathetic caregivers in my 17 year career. I get there are always bad apples, but some fields really shouldn't have as many as others.

It's been a struggle trying to find a job that pays the bills and doesn't drain me of my will to continue my career as a nurse.

[Barkworm]

Originally Posted by Storm Wolf

I take a lot of issues with Healthcare in general, but one of my biggest issues is probably apathy among health care workers. I can't fathom people being in the profession and just not caring. Maybe I've just not been in the field long enough to hit this point? I've met some really judgemental and apathetic caregivers in my 17 year career. I get there are always bad apples, but some fields really shouldn't have as many as others.

It's been a struggle trying to find a job that pays the bills and doesn't drain me of my will to continue my career as a nurse.

They payment of nurses is something I could go on a lengthy rant about. In the 1970s in Germany, thousands of immigrants were brought in to compensate for the severe lack of caregivers, my mother being one of said immigrants.

Now, 50 YEARS LATER again, Germany is bringing in Indians and Eastern Europeans all over the place because apparently it's easier to bring in low-paid immigrants than to pay people in this -oh so negligible - sector properly and offer more apprenticeships.

[Storm Wolf]

Originally Posted by Barkworm

They payment of nurses is something I could go on a lengthy rant about. In the 1970s in Germany, thousands of immigrants were brought in to compensate for the severe lack of caregivers, my mother being one of said immigrants.

Now, 50 YEARS LATER again, Germany is bringing in Indians and Eastern Europeans all over the place because apparently it's easier to bring in low-paid immigrants than to pay people in this -oh so negligible - sector properly and offer more apprenticeships.

Sadly, health care is a business. The bottom line will always be "how much can we profit" for anyone who isn't getting thier hands dirty and doing the work most people can't or won't do.

I've worked 16 years for the same company. I got a $1500 "retention bonus" a few years back. New employees coming in right now are getting a 10k sign on bonus. I wish I were making these things up.

[That Matt Guy]

Yearly message that I’m not dead

[XERO]

Originally Posted by That Matt Guy

Yearly message that I’m not dead

I'm glad. It's always good to see some of the old names pop on here. Damn, that was a generation ago.

[Wednesday's Serial]

Originally Posted by That Matt Guy

Yearly message that I’m not dead

Congratulations.

[KROW]

Originally Posted by That Matt Guy

Yearly message that I’m not dead

Genuinely good to hear.

[Storm Wolf]

Somehow, I always become "work mom". Something about me calls to people with trauma or people who are seeking a non-judgmental ear. I've had complete strangers just tell me the craziest things. At times it weighs heavy on me, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

[XERO]

Originally Posted by Storm Wolf

Somehow, I always become "work mom". Something about me calls to people with trauma or people who are seeking a non-judgmental ear. I've had complete strangers just tell me the craziest things. At times it weighs heavy on me, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Used to happen to me all the time during bus rides. I'd just be in my own world, then someone just greets me and starts talking about their problems. I guess I just bring that vibe.

I usually keep my own problems to myself nowadays. I don't like feeling like a burden.

[Storm Wolf]

If therapeutic listening were ever a talent, it's the only one I got.

I always found it odd that people say "You always know what to do/say."

I 100% have no idea how to adult and fix my own problems....how the h3ll am I good at helping others?

[The Deadman]

Currently baking cookies and watching horror movies on my laptop. This is the life.

[Storm Wolf]

Started a new job about 5 months ago. Overnight position. Let's just say it's inspired me to find another job.

[CyberCubed]

This thread is from 2003 and really should be locked. 95% of the people from back then are gone now as it was over 20 years ago. I have no idea why this is still here.

[KROW]

Originally Posted by CyberCubed

This thread is from 2003 and really should be locked. 95% of the people from back then are gone now as it was over 20 years ago. I have no idea why this is still here.

We have a happy thread and an angry thread. This is the sad thread. Whenever we feel down and out about something and our real life contacts don't seem to cut the mustard, we can post here for some emotional support or advice on a tough situation that really doesn't need a thread of its own.

Plus, I want to make sure Matt is still alive next year.