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Old 05-16-2021, 04:09 PM   #1
sdp
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Afterlife Question

The afterlife, as we now know, involves the skeletons of our bodies. Lacking the mortal flesh, we shall be conscripted into the eternal skeleton war once we pass on.

The question I want to ask is: what class of skeleton do you think you will become?

There are three major groups - the skeleton warrior, the magus skeleton, and the hulking defender.

Out of the extremely varied subclasses of skeleton, which class do you think you will become?

Last edited by sdp; 05-16-2021 at 04:18 PM.
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Old 05-16-2021, 04:25 PM   #2
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I really hope it's like one'a the ones in "Jason and the Argonauts". That sh*t was awesome.

Sign me up for "Sword and Shield Skeleton Guy". I already have a bunch'a that stuff. Like I have a He-Man Power Sword, a "Sword of Omens" AND a Master Sword. I'm gonna be like the Super King Big-Nuts of Sword-and-Shield Skeleton Guys.

Y'all better hope I never die, cuz when I do I'mma be runnin' sh*t up in this bitch.
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Old 05-16-2021, 05:01 PM   #3
FredWolfLeonardo
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I don't understand this thread. Please explain.
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Old 05-16-2021, 05:16 PM   #4
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Uhhhh... yeah, you sort of lost me there, too.

Don't think any of those really fit me, you got any stealthy rogue-like skeleton class options for me? lol
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Old 05-16-2021, 05:20 PM   #5
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You'd be a mage. Your primary attacks would involve ensnaring people with that ridiculous(ly awesome) Rapunzel hair you have, which would now be enchanted.

This isn't that hard, you guys!
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Old 05-16-2021, 05:27 PM   #6
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I dunno, never really gravitated to the magic sort. What if I just used the hair to strangle victims in sneak attacks.

edit: Then again, if I'm a skeleton, this is assuming the hair would somehow even still be attached. But I could just braid it into a rope to keep in my arsenal.
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Old 05-16-2021, 05:30 PM   #7
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I don't see "Ninja Skeleton" as one of the available choices but I don't see why we can't go off-script and make it one.

Although I still like the scenario I came up with better.

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edit: Then again, if I'm a skeleton, this is assuming the hair would somehow even still be attached.
Someone never played Uninvited on the NES.

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Old 05-16-2021, 05:38 PM   #8
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lol But... isn't there a risk of it coming off? Sounds like a liability.
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Old 05-16-2021, 05:43 PM   #9
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It's Enchanted!!! Jesus!

You're a meatless skeleton walking around without any muscles to guide you, you shouldn't by rights even have motor skills at all, and you're worried about why you still have hair on your head and how it stays there.

Next you're gonna be asking me how Skeletor talks when he clearly has no tongue, or how he sees when he clearly has no eyeballs.

"F*ckin' magnets, how do THEY work?!"

Miracles, god dammit! Stop making simple sh*t complicated!!!
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Old 05-16-2021, 05:51 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sdp View Post
The afterlife, as we now know
Maaan, I'm SO behind with the news!
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Old 05-16-2021, 05:54 PM   #11
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Quote:
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Next you're gonna be asking me how Skeletor talks when he clearly has no tongue, or how he sees when he clearly has no eyeballs.
Well if you're going to bring that up now we need an explanation.

If your skeleton has no muscles how are you gonna hold up that He-Man sword?
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Old 05-16-2021, 05:58 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by IndigoErth View Post
Well if you're going to bring that up now we need an explanation.

If your skeleton has no muscles how are you gonna hold up that He-Man sword?
Ohhhh myyyyyy goooooodddddd. MAGIC, dammit! That's implicit to the entire scenario!

I just got like six new gray hairs on account of the lack of imaginative fourth-dimensional thinking in this thread.

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Maaan, I'm SO behind with the news!
"The Frighteners" was a documentary, sir, and the events happen in real time.
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Old 05-16-2021, 06:01 PM   #13
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Ohhhh myyyyyy goooooodddddd. MAGIC, dammit! That's implicit to the entire scenario!
But "Sword and Shield Skeleton Guy[s]" don't have magic?? You just have heavy weaponry that will make your skeleton arms fall out of the shoulder sockets.

Quote:
I just got like six new gray hairs on account of the lack of imaginative fourth-dimensional thinking in this thread
How do you know what wasn't the mission of it?



After this past week, I don't think I'm back up to handling even three-dimensional thinking yet...

Last edited by IndigoErth; 05-16-2021 at 06:07 PM.
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Old 05-16-2021, 06:12 PM   #14
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Both ICP and Angels & Airwaves have repeatedly assured me that Everything's Magic, and I highly doubt they'd lie to me. Everyone knows that they speak directly for the Lord.

If you wanna remain my favorite you're gonna straighten up and fly right, sister. When Shaggy 2 Dope asks "Do you notice and recognize Miracles?", the only acceptable answer is "Yes."
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Old 05-16-2021, 07:13 PM   #15
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I knew I recognized this topic from somewhere today:

https://www.resetera.com/threads/the...coming.426581/
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Old 05-16-2021, 07:49 PM   #16
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I wanna be a Liche.
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Old 05-18-2021, 07:38 AM   #17
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Sign me up as lich-girl. I've already got the know-how in the spell department.
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