Parenting... in the digital age

[Andrew NDB]

For me, I was your traditional example of a kid whose parents wouldn't give me unrestricted access to... everything. But they pretty much would. I'd push the envelope by sneaking put of bed and turning on the TV or my Gameboy or all that, and would be caught often. And if my grades ever went down, kiss the video games goodbye. But they'd never take away my computer. Meanwhile the computer games I were playing were way cooler than the console games of the time so it never bothered me. R rated movies were never hidden from me or anything either. I'd be dropped off at a theater after my mom or dad buying the ticket for me... and there was always cable.

But I figured with my first kid I thought I could go about things better, or roughly the same but taking into consideration new things like the internet. But big mistake. During COVID in particular my then 12 year old spiraled into a web of largely conspiracy theory/garbage Youtube stuff and scumbag vloggers to where she was suddenly questioning everything. When school came back around she wasn't able to cope with in person anymore (when she was the happiest kid right before all this) and it still hasn't been a full recovery. I think it would have all gone better if she'd had a sibling or two to play with during all of this, but nothing could be done there.

Yeah, never again.

[Barkworm]

Sorry to hear about that. In school we could clearly see that teens suffered the most during the lockdowns because they would easily fall into depression and different kinds addictions. In one of my classes (grade 10) half of the class straight out admitted to becoming addicted to video games in that time. Even today, some of these kids have screen times of 10 hours or more a day. That‘s just horrible.

[Mayhem]

Our almost six year old daughter has had regulared access to using an iPad for a year or two now. She plays age appropriate games, YouTube Kids (not the main version), learning apps, and some other streaming children platforms (Disney+, Netflix kids etc).

Time on there is generated limited and not over-abused, the only times really are when we still have to work (as we can't take off to look after her 100%) and she's off due to illness. Then she might get it a bit more.

It's not created a monster, and she still play with her toys, goes outside and does all that, and her after school clubs. Also gave her a little step up as the primary school now use tablets as part of its learning experience and teaching, so she's familiar with how to operate them.

We haven't decided phone wise yet because she's too young. We did partly joke, and semi serious, about a flip phone with basic call and text functionality for emergencies once she reaches secondary school.

[Barkworm]

Originally Posted by Mayhem

It's not created a monster, and she still play with her toys, goes outside and does all that, and her after school clubs. Also gave her a little step up as the primary school now use tablets as part of its learning experience and teaching, so she's familiar with how to operate them.

As a teacher, I 100% believe that tablets should not be used in elementary schools. We've got some good data from Scandinavia that shows that children who used them too early in school later lacked basic motor skills.

[Andrew NDB]

Originally Posted by Barkworm

Sorry to hear about that. In school we could clearly see that teens suffered the most during the lockdowns because they would easily fall into depression and different kinds addictions. In one of my classes (grade 10) half of the class straight out admitted to becoming addicted to video games in that time. Even today, some of these kids have screen times of 10 hours or more a day. That‘s just horrible.

Well... major respect for being one of the few in the teaching community that actually acknowledge that. The "teachers unions" at large and their pushings seemed downright evil during all of COVID.

Originally Posted by Barkworm

As a teacher, I 100% believe that tablets should not be used in elementary schools. We've got some good data from Scandinavia that shows that children who used them too early in school later lacked basic motor skills.

I have no strong feelings about tablets in schools. Part of me feels like they're inevitable as populations grow and school sizes do, too. But I don't like it.

[Mayhem]

They don’t only use tablets, they are used for a few exercises such as spelling tests. There’s still plenty of writing with pencils going on.

[Cowabung-Gal]

My opinion is, unless you’re okay with your child potentially coming across another Elsagate, do not give them a tablet and leave them alone with it. Give them a coloring book, fidget toy, anything other than a tablet.

When I was a kid, I’d take my drawing pad with me whenever we’d go out to eat. It certainly kept me preoccupied and passed the time until we got our food and the adults stopped their long and boring conversation afterwards.

[Barkworm]

Originally Posted by Andrew NDB

Well... major respect for being one of the few in the teaching community that actually acknowledge that. The "teachers unions" at large and their pushings seemed downright evil during all of COVID.

There‘s nothing to acknowledge anymore. There has been enough data by now that actually proves that teens suffered damage from the extended lockdowns. Read this article which talks about a study that showed that the brains of teenagers (especially girls) aged rapidly during the lockdowns which often led to anxiety and depression.

Originally Posted by Mayhem

They don’t only use tablets, they are used for a few exercises such as spelling tests. There’s still plenty of writing with pencils going on.

Having tablets in school is inevitable but as I said, they have no business in elementary/primary school. In Denmark, where they were frontrunners in digitalizing schools, secretary of education Mattias Tesfaye recently publicly apologized to a generation of children "who have been used as lab rats“.

[KROW]

Originally Posted by Mayhem

Our almost six year old daughter has had regulared access to using an iPad for a year or two now. She plays age appropriate games, YouTube Kids (not the main version), learning apps, and some other streaming children platforms (Disney+, Netflix kids etc).

Time on there is generated limited and not over-abused, the only times really are when we still have to work (as we can't take off to look after her 100%) and she's off due to illness. Then she might get it a bit more.

It's not created a monster, and she still play with her toys, goes outside and does all that, and her after school clubs. Also gave her a little step up as the primary school now use tablets as part of its learning experience and teaching, so she's familiar with how to operate them.

We haven't decided phone wise yet because she's too young. We did partly joke, and semi serious, about a flip phone with basic call and text functionality for emergencies once she reaches secondary school.

This is pretty much my and Stormy's approach and it's worked out okay so far. We're probably going to introduce cell phones at the mid-teens, like I did with my son.

[Jester]

My sons (7 and 12) had tablets for long car rides (which were also DVD Players) so they could play offline games, listen to music, or watch movies but they both are also prone to car sickness so after a couple times vomiting on trips the tablets were put away.
They had access to my old SNES for a bit, but at some point lost the TV it was connected to due to some issues with lying.
They have monitored access to the living room TV and a connected Chrome Cast which has retro games on it.
We may get a "dumb" phone for the oldest once he's a doing after school activities and needs us to get him or other things. No social media for as long as we can pull it off.

I know my oldest has some issues with tech because he tries to be on an old laptop at my parents' when we visit and acts like a full blown addict when we tell him to do anything else while we're there...it's nuts.

[CyberCubed]

I sometimes wonder how different things would be if these existed in our generation. My parents bought me an NES when I was 3 years old and I started playing videogames at an early age and watched whatever was on TV at the time. I know it's not the same thing as digital tablets without buttons, but it's basically the same thing as growing up with media.

[Original TMNT Cartoon Fan]

Even if I hate social media, simply because I think it is boring, , I don't want to call for legal action (except if it's all about preventing murderers and pedophiles from contacting children). The current anti-social media movement is nothing more than the latest moral panic, just like what we saw against video games a couple of years ago.

Meanwhile, remember one thing:

Whatever the young generation enjoys doing, the parent generation will not be pleased.

[Andrew NDB]

Originally Posted by CyberCubed

I sometimes wonder how different things would be if these existed in our generation. My parents bought me an NES when I was 3 years old and I started playing videogames at an early age and watched whatever was on TV at the time. I know it's not the same thing as digital tablets without buttons, but it's basically the same thing as growing up with media.

I think growing up on things like NES and SNES is a bit different than today. So many of those games, you have to really use your imagination to fill in what's "really" going on. Today's games don't leave anything to the imagination.

Originally Posted by Original TMNT Cartoon Fan

The current anti-social media movement is nothing more than the latest moral panic, just like what we saw against video games a couple of years ago.

The difference is that this "movement" has produced demonstrable -- and very damning -- results in children, socially and developmentally. We have the data now, this isn't like something on the distant horizon we have no idea about.

[Barkworm]

Last Tuesday I asked my 10th graders (a class of 22 people) to look up their screen time on their cellphones for last Saturday. The lowest BY FAR was one guy with below two hours who said he was sick so he slept most of the day and another guy who admitted that he had not used the phone much but played Fortnite for 11 hours. Next up was a girl with six hours but she straight up admitted that it‘s usually a lot more but she attended a wedding with her family in the afternoon so she was on the phone just ‘occasionally‘.

Everyone else‘s screen time was between 8 and 11 hours with the exception of one dude who had TWENTY HOURS. I‘m not sh*tting you. One guy said he had been watching TikTok for four hours straight and when I asked him about the most memorable video out of the literally hundreds he had seen, he said he couldn’t remember any at all. What the hell is happening to this world?