What Grinds Your Gears? :)

[IndigoErth]

Was yesterday, but felt kind of bad for the folks working up front at the local post office. Was just there for my own work reasons, as they are one of my accounts I take care of, and they were somewhat busy at that time, albeit not a long line like I sometimes see, but a persistent short one that never quit while I was there.

So of course among them had to be an older Karen type who was certain she should be getting a refund on her shipping costs because a package she sent hadn't arrived yet. (As if a lot hasn't been delayed for awhile!) The attitude and entitlement in the voice was all too familiar from my days working in a store and reminded me how much I DO NOT miss dealing with that type.


I mean, if there is a refund policy for a guaranteed delivery date, fine, but I really hate people who have to bring an attitude and bullying behavior to try to get their way. These sorts never get that people who are nice about it are far more likely to get what they want, provided what they're asking for is reasonable.

As for this one, I think it was the big manager of this location (who I'm not sure I've ever even seen before) who had to come out and set her straight that it has to be scanned and delivered first, they'll be in touch, and sent her on her way.


edit: Well dang... Found out a neighbor 3 doors down, an old guy in his 80s, died of pneumonia from having Covid.

[Leo656]

Karens are what you end up with once you allow women to have autonomy and show aggression. It's like Pokemon, the Karen-type is simply the Human Female's final and fully-evolved form.

[IndigoErth]

Duckie, can I borrow your foot thingy to kick him with?

[Leo656]

Marriage (noun): Spending your entire adult life with someone you constantly wish was dead, because you mutually agree that living alone is too expensive.

[rav4ge]

Originally Posted by Leo656

Marriage (noun): Spending your entire adult life with someone you constantly wish was dead, because you mutually agree that living alone is too expensive.

Oof. Hope a resolution is in sight.

[IndigoErth]

Well I hope not one based on his definition. o.O



Grind... how bad Walmart is about correctly pricing things on shelves or even having the price present at all and items in the right spot.

Too often at my local store I can't even find the price, even while knowing how to match the shelf sticker to the UPC code to attempt to find it. Then on Tuesday and today, even while being able to find the matching sticker, I guess prices have gone up because a few items were a buck more than the listed price even claimed and they don't bother to change it.

The one on Tuesday was particularly disappointing because I had an old gift card I'd written on it how much was left and it was EXACTLY the price of the sticker on the shelf. Nice. Then it rung up a dollar more. The nerve.

Anywhere else I'd probably bring it to their attention and get that shelf price, but most the people at my Walmart are idiots and I'm sure that attempt would not get anywhere and just waste my time...

[Leo656]

Thanks, ray.

Originally Posted by IndigoErth

Well I hope not one based on his definition. o.O

I am no longer making ANY promises.

I'm not getting into it. But among other things, she threatened to kill my dog.

She sort of apologized, and there's a LOT of other things. But that's the one I'll never forget OR forgive even if I live to be 500.

She's a good person though, just ask her.

[IndigoErth]

Those dogs need to get their act together and learn how to separate you guys then when need be.


edit:

Originally Posted by Leo656

I'm not getting into it. But among other things, she threatened to kill my dog.

Yeah... WOW LADY, too far. Wtf.

[Leo656]

The dogs had a brief scrap over some turkey and that was my wife's knee-jerk "solution".

There's a LOT more but that was the match that lit the fire.

The longer I know her, the more I want someone to mail me her head in a box a'la the movie "Seven". Dead f*cking serious.

BUT according to the long whiny rants she posts on her FB page she's a perfect angel and everyone else on planet Earth is just out to get her.

Ah well. My fault.

[MsMarvelDuckie]

Originally Posted by IndigoErth

Duckie, can I borrow your foot thingy to kick him with?

You can HAVE it now that I no longer need it! But it does have a bad tendency to slide on floors, so be warned.

[MsMarvelDuckie]

Originally Posted by Leo656

The dogs had a brief scrap over some turkey and that was my wife's knee-jerk "solution".

There's a LOT more but that was the match that lit the fire.

The longer I know her, the more I want someone to mail me her head in a box a'la the movie "Seven". Dead f*cking serious.

BUT according to the long whiny rants she posts on her FB page she's a perfect angel and everyone else on planet Earth is just out to get her.

Ah well. My fault.

If she's THAT bad, I have one word- herbalism. There are herbal solutions for EVERYTHING. Just my two cents. Use it as you wish.

[Leo656]

I was leaning more towards "voodoo", but... I guess I really can't have raw chickens in the house with these dogs, anyway, so your way might work out.

Current grind, her Dad's all lit-up drunk and picking a fight with the whole house while I'm just over here trying to eat dinner. I had a match earlier so I'm already pretty wound up, BUT I had two deep shots of "sipping rum" before I left the venue so I'm a bit more patient right now than I ought to be. It's just that he won't staaaahhhhp. Just goes on and on and ON, squawking like a parakeet with a packet of Pop Rocks up his ass. Not fun.

He always tires himself out eventually, it's just aggravating.

[Sage Ninja]

wait...is that the dog that disappeared for months she threatened to kill? The one you BOTH agonized over when it went missing? Unforgivable. Even if it was not the dog that went missing but another pet of yours that's seriously a garbage human thing to ever utter.

[IndigoErth]

That wtf moment when the caller ID comes up with "Swastika ON."

Good god, for a moment I thought some white supremacists were doing robo/spam/fraud calls. Didn't know (until looking up the number) that it's the name of a small town in Ontario Canada.

...why the hell have they not change that name. o.O No thanks, Swastika, Ontario, you can keep whatever you're selling.

[Leo656]

Originally Posted by Sage Ninja

wait...is that the dog that disappeared for months she threatened to kill? The one you BOTH agonized over when it went missing? Unforgivable. Even if it was not the dog that went missing but another pet of yours that's seriously a garbage human thing to ever utter.

No, no, that's Riley, and he's still a very good boy. It's Zoe she got mad at.
She keeps getting pissed at Zoe because whenever they fight over food, Zoe shoves Riley on the ground and barks in his face since she's more than twice his size, but she doesn't realize that Riley's old and kinda frail and nobody wants her to hurt him by accident, which she could without even trying. It's a valid concern.

Easy solution being, "Don't let them around each other when there's food around," but I get a shocking lack of help around this place and so sh*t inevitably happens in spite of my best efforts.

Specifically, I was bringing the groceries in on that day, and I didn't do the shopping and so had NO IDEA there was lunchmeat in one of the bags. The dogs were sniffing the cans and the cereal with no incident, as usual. Then while I had my hands full, both dogs went into a bag which - unbeknownst to me - contained lunchmeat, and two seconds later they were rolling around on the floor.

Everyone was naturally upset - I don't want Zoe to hurt Riley, either, naturally - but my grievance of "Well maybe if I had a little HELP putting these damn groceries away, or if someone else was at least in the room they could've saw this sh*t coming and separated them, since I had my hands full," went over as you'd expect. All MY fault, and I'm just a moron, like always.

This has only happened like three times since we got Zoe, and in each case it was 100% preventable and someone else did something stupid to pretty much force it to happen, but EVERY time it has, everyone's knee-jerk reaction is "F*ck it, we're getting rid of her," because that's how my wife and her family are. The second that anyone or anything becomes an inconvenience, they're thrown out like trash, or at least that's their instinctive solution. No patience, no problem-solving skills, nothing. "I'm not dealing with this, get rid of it/them" is a common refrain around here.

So, naturally, my wife was freaking out worried about Riley and was like "F*ck it, Zoe has to go," and I'm like "Nah, go f*ck yourself, this was preventable." And that's the point where, in the midst of freaking out she yelled, "Well if she does it again we won't HAVE to get rid of her because I'll f*cking kill her myself."

She wouldn't, in all fairness. She's one of those people who loves animals more than people, she'd never hurt a dog. She was just angry and worried about Riley. I get it. I just didn't like that she said that, and worse, that Zoe might have heard her say it.

To her credit, she's been really babying Zoe ever since and going out of her way to be super-nice to her. She adores the dog and I know that. It just... REALLY pissed me off that she would even go there.

Not like I don't, or haven't, said things as bad or worse. Over the evening the fight escalated from there, to the point where I calmly told her that sometimes I wish she'd just kill herself and save me the aggravation and heartache I deal with so often. "If you were dead I wouldn't have to deal with this sh*t." Horrible. But I felt pushed, and in that moment, those were my real feelings.

But it's like, don't go on these giant rants about how you're so much "better" than me as a person and then threaten to kill my f*cking dog, not even in anger. Y'know? I'm not a good person, but I also never claim to be. But don't chastise, blame, or talk down to me when you're objectively WORSE than me, y'know what I mean?

I don't know. I never knew this or even really entertained the notion, but I suspect that my wife is actually on the spectrum. She denies it, and if she is she's definitely very "high-functioning", but certain behaviors of hers - especially the way she lashes out whenever anyone tries to explain something to her, her complete inability to accept blame for any wrongdoing even when it's 100% her fault, her need to be "right" literally all of the time, and the fact that she thinks it's perfectly fine and acceptable for her to hit, threaten and insult people for being "mean" to her but nobody else can say anything in response, is all VERY consistent with a lot of things I've seen and read. Like, at the least, I think she might have some kind of Asperger's. Or SOME thing.

I never had any idea about this until recently, and always just figured she was very immature because she grew up sheltered and her parents never raised her right. Because I've known people like that, too. But recently I asked both of her parents and they kind of tiptoed around the subject, like they know something I don't know and don't want to get into it.

I don't know. As mean as it might sound, though, if she does have some kind of Asperger's or something, had I known than from the beginning I never would have even dated her, no matter how much she begged (and oh boy, did she beg, when we started out). I am not mentally or emotionally equipped to be around those people, like, at all. Not trying to be mean about it, and I wish no one any harm, it's just that dealing with those types of people takes people skills I simply do not have. And I would never, willingly, enter into a relationship with one of those people which required me to be around them ALL the time.

Like I said, I figured when I met her that she was just super-immature and spoiled; 20+ years later, and someone is literally the exact same person they were at 16... you start to think maybe there's a much deeper issue going on.

I don't know. I'll never know, probably. She swears she's perfectly normal and that "everyone is just MEAN" to her and therefore she lashes out, but that's not true. We ARE all mean to her from time to time but it's generally reactionary, at least in my case. Like I get pushed and pushed and then I just explode. But I don't sit around angry waiting for fights to start, like she accuses me of. It's literally all her, every time. I end up being super-mean because I just want her to shut up and go away, after a while, and I run out of patience to NOT say terrible things. But when she just doesn't stop, that's what happens.

Everything I say. Literally EVERYTHING I say. "No, that's YOU. YOU do that, not me." That's her reaction to anything anyone says to her, whether it's about her attitude, her inability to take advice, her insistence that "Nobody is going to 'control' her", she just does the stupid deflection sh*t.

On some level, I DO blame the internet. Because as mentioned in other threads, there's been a few periods where we didn't have it, for years, and during those times she's been much better-behaved and we get along much better.

But what HAPPENS is, whenever there's an issue, she goes online, tells people HER side of the story because she wants sympathy, and then these faceless randos start teaching her things like "gaslighting", "narcisissm", and so on, and then she starts throwing these terms into every single conversation whenever anyone tries to address her bad attitude or behavior. "Stop gaslighting me, you narcissists!" Literally. Every. DAY.

And it's like, whenever she's been REMOVED from the internet for a period of time like months or years, she doesn't do that and is much more amenable to conversation and criticism. But when she has the internet, people put things in her head and convince her that her behavior is acceptable when no, it really isn't.

So yeah, I think she's on the spectrum and I think that's where all of this is actually coming from.

Anyway, the dogs are fine and nobody's going to do anything to them. That sh*t just threw me for a loop and after that I was in no mood to put up with any of her sh*t. She's been better the last couple of days but we're still not talking much.

Be nice if we could get this kid some therapy, but she thinks she's perfect so it's not gonna matter. You have to want to change.

[IndigoErth]

If the occasional scuffle between them upsets her that much and it generally only happens over food, has she considered just getting a pet gate that can be closed when food is being put away, etc?

Even just something low that humans can close and step over, but high enough that the older, smaller dog might not bother trying to cross? I mean, just a thought if it causes her such extreme emotion when the dogs get into it. I mean look, lady, there are simple solutions that could be tried if not already.

Originally Posted by Leo656

And it's like, whenever she's been REMOVED from the internet for a period of time like months or years, she doesn't do that and is much more amenable to conversation and criticism. But when she has the internet, people put things in her head and convince her that her behavior is acceptable when no, it really isn't.

Really she sounds just like the people who do that with all the very skewed politics and other crazy, absurd BS, getting totally wrapped up and taken by it, being FAR too easily influenced, just from a different angle and topics.

[Leo656]

I like that you're thinking but it wouldn't really resolve or have avoided this specific incident.

- We already feed the dogs in separate rooms - Riley eats in the kitchen and Zoe eats in the laundry room. We also feed them at different times of day, with different food, because they have very different diets. For example, Riley can no longer eat beef because he has a digestive issue.

- All food and water bowls are kept off the floor and out of reach until it's time for a scheduled feeding (we keep water buckets full outside as well because they prefer to drink the colder water that's been chilled by the air rather than what's in their bowls, so when they're outside they drink at their leisure).

At least, that is how it's SUPPOSED to be.

- Riley isn't so much the problem, because his bad hip makes him slow. Once in a while, if he smells her food he starts taking steps toward the laundry room, but Zoe eats so fast that by the time he gets anywhere near there she's already done eating and the bowls are already removed.

- There is not a gate tall enough that Zoe couldn't get over (or through) if she felt like it. She jumps higher than I do, even. If she wants to be someplace, she'll get there. Luckily, she does not abuse her super powers.

No, the PROBLEM is that these other people I live with refuse to follow protocol. Like just this morning, for example, my mother-in-law started to feed Riley, knowing full well that Zoe was in the next room. I grabbed one of her treats and led her upstairs before anything could happen, I don't think she even saw Riley's food. But if I hadn't been down there, she would've gone after his food and my mother-in-law would've bitched and moaned and made a whole big production out of it.

Hey asshole: Put her outside first or at least make sure she's not around before you put Riley's food out. IT'S NOT HARD, MORONS.

But at least once a week, someone will just drop Riley's food bowl on the ground and leave it there. And then when Zoe inevitably gets to it, they freak out. Well then DON'T BE STUPID. When he's done eating, he walks away and goes to take a nap. Pick the bowl up and put it back up top. Don't be a lazy sh*tbag.

And again, in this most recent incident, it all could have been avoided if 1. My wife bothered to tell me there was a bag full of lunchmeat, and 2. Even ONE other person had been in the room helping me put sh*t away.

This is happening because nobody but me wants to do sh*t the right way, they all just wanna piss and moan and blame ME for sh*t, as usual. Help me? FEH.

To my wife's credit, she and the dog have been very huggy-kissy all week so that's whatever. I just don't like that she 1. Created the situation, 2. Blamed ME for the situation, and 3. Said that awful sh*t about her. Plus, I know that next time there's an incident she's gonna explode again no matter how nice she's being right now, because she ALWAYS does.

That's what always has me stressed out and pissed off about being with my wife. She's either a perfect angel or the worst person who ever lived, and it goes from 0 to 100 real fast. And it's always someone else's fault.

Is what it is, this is the life I'm stuck with. I think when I was about 6 years old I realized that "happiness" was not part of the script God gave me to play out. It is what it is. Never changing, too late to go back and fix it. Just gotta stay alive until I'm dead. ((Shrug))

[IndigoErth]

Learned an old friend up in NY passed away.

Met him as my teacher when I took a couple (non-credit) 3D animation courses he came down from Philly to teach at a school here, and we'd been picking around at various (though incomplete) projects over the years. After my youthful hope of actually being able to make something of it someday (that might make an income but my area isn't exactly a wealth of opportunity), he is the person who never lost hope of turning it into something. Heck, we'd had a project we'd been slowly working on for a while and were taking a break through the holidays and were expecting to pick it back up soon.

He'd gotten really sick and was hospitalized in early 2020 and whatever it was caused kidney damage. (Later suspected to have been Covid that caused it, due to tests that later found antibodies, but of course hard to prove that far after the fact.) He'd been having dialysis, but had been doing pretty well.

His mom left me a message letting me know he'd gotten really sick last week and then passed on Saturday. Hope it wasn't Covid again, but with it spreading so widely...who knows. Even if it's just Omicron that's mild for most, it could still take down vulnerable people we care about.

Rest in peace DaShawn Hall... friend, teacher, artist, one of the most optimistic people I've known, and obvious kid at heart.





I feel bad that he'd always believed that should something happen to him, me and another he considered his main people could carry it on with these projects, but I never had the foggiest idea of how to even do that. I'm mostly just a modeler, I don't possess the business and people connecting talents he had to make some of the connections and get into the ear of those he did over the years...

I'm sad to know that this all is probably just...over. He was the source of the software I have, that I might not be able to afford myself, esp if the hopes of the past are no more than an occasional hobby now, and when I get a new computer at some point, who knows if I can even get them onto there.

So both a friend and that remaining hope for all this that he continued to carry are gone, since this area doesn't really have those opportunities, moving isn't really on the table, and I'd never compete with better talented people who were able to get the kind of the education in it that I could never have.

Dammit. Dammit for me, for everyone else still involved to some degree, and most of all, dammit for him, he was far too young to go and to have to give up life along with those dreams.

[MsMarvelDuckie]

My condolences on the loss of your friend and teacher, Indigo. Sad to hear he was on dialysis, that is not something I'd ever want anyone to have to go through. One of our friends just came down with Omicron a couple of days ago, so we're praying he will be okay. I know that kind of news of someone passing is rough. Hope he's in a better place now.

[IndigoErth]

Thanks.

Still not entirely sure what happened. Got the courage up to call his mom Saturday. Sounds like he'd gotten a really bad headache and wasn't feeling well, enough to feel he needed to go to the hospital, and his blood pressure was far too high.

He'd had another incident with his blood pressure last year that put him in the hospital and they had a hard time getting it back down and normalized, but I guess they couldn't this time and it became deadly. Read that the kidneys play a major role in blood pressure, so I guess it probably came from that. All stemming from something that put him in the hospital almost two years ago and later believed by his doctors to have been Covid...