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Old 12-07-2015, 06:55 PM   #81
Powder
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Ah, well that's pretty much black & white then, huh... Sh*t.

Frankly, I think you should just wash your hands of them both & the situation entirely, even if it's only temporarily. You need a chance to rest/recuperate. Let him realize what a nut she is, let her realize what a dick he is, they'll both be unhappy & you can have the last laugh. If someone comes to their senses after the fact & approaches you, the ball will be in your court & you can decide whether you are a merciful God or not.
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Old 12-07-2015, 07:07 PM   #82
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Ah, well that's pretty much black & white then, huh... Sh*t.

Frankly, I think you should just wash your hands of them both & the situation entirely, even if it's only temporarily. You need a chance to rest/recuperate. Let him realize what a nut she is, let her realize what a dick he is, they'll both be unhappy & you can have the last laugh. If someone comes to their senses after the fact & approaches you, the ball will be in your court & you can decide whether you are a merciful God or not.
And that's exactly what I intend to do. Again, thank you for the advice. I really appreciate it.
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FEEL MY FREEZE!

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Old 12-07-2015, 08:53 PM   #83
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For a teenager the advice is easy, no matter the situation move on. I know at the time it seems like your situation is totally different and you're mature but whatever, I wish someone would've slapped me as a kid and told me this and I wouldn't have wasted so much time on worthless girls during HS. The chances of finding the love of your life during your teens is extremely low.
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Old 12-07-2015, 09:36 PM   #84
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They're both bad people, Knux. Abort mission and just move on. I've been there too, and for one thing, if the guy is that big a scumbag and she's too dense to see through his act, then she's an idiot too. And I don't know about you, but I'd rather be single than waste my time with a girl THAT dense.

Keep in mind - Offensive Comment Coming - (deep breath) ...MOST girls are pretty stupid when it comes to taste in guys, especially when they're teenagers. We've all seen it; "She's so smart in every other way, so WHY is she with such a loser?" It's because girls are no different from guys in the way that they mostly pick partners with their private parts and it interferes with judgment and higher brain functions. They pretend they're better than that, but they're not. Nobody's immune. If you're chasing a girl for three goddamn years, and she's repeatedly told you No, then dude, you have LESS than Zero Chance, and if you did have one, she's not worth it anyway, just for dicking you around.

I was in love with my best friend in high school, and she's still the smartest chick I've ever met in person. But she had horrible taste in guys; she and all our friends knew how I felt about her, it was no secret, and we were still pretty good friends for a long time. But finally, she admitted that it all came down to looks, that I didn't dress or style my hair the way she liked and that's why she would never even consider going out with me. Right then, I knew our friendship wouldn't last much longer - it didn't - because I lost a ton of respect for her in that moment. She was a super-feminist type, always raging about guys only caring about girls' looks and not caring about anything else, but in the end, she was nothing but an enormous hypocrite. A lot of our mutual friends stopped talking to her for a long time over the whole thing, because she had a tendency to use my feelings for her as a way to manipulate me into doing things for her and stuff like that.

Just move on, man. If they don't want ya they don't want ya. One day someone'll come to you. Here's my theory on women: Ultimately, as the "gatekeepers", they hold all the power, thus, chasing them is stupid as it's exactly what they want. If one of them comes to you, of her own volition, there's a much better chance she's actually into you. If she makes you chase her, she's not worth it.
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Old 12-07-2015, 09:45 PM   #85
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They're both bad people, Knux. Abort mission and just move on. I've been there too, and for one thing, if the guy is that big a scumbag and she's too dense to see through his act, then she's an idiot too. And I don't know about you, but I'd rather be single than waste my time with a girl THAT dense.

Keep in mind - Offensive Comment Coming - (deep breath) ...MOST girls are pretty stupid when it comes to taste in guys, especially when they're teenagers. We've all seen it; "She's so smart in every other way, so WHY is she with such a loser?" It's because girls are no different from guys in the way that they mostly pick partners with their private parts and it interferes with judgment and higher brain functions. They pretend they're better than that, but they're not. Nobody's immune. If you're chasing a girl for three goddamn years, and she's repeatedly told you No, then dude, you have LESS than Zero Chance, and if you did have one, she's not worth it anyway, just for dicking you around.

I was in love with my best friend in high school, and she's still the smartest chick I've ever met in person. But she had horrible taste in guys; she and all our friends knew how I felt about her, it was no secret, and we were still pretty good friends for a long time. But finally, she admitted that it all came down to looks, that I didn't dress or style my hair the way she liked and that's why she would never even consider going out with me. Right then, I knew our friendship wouldn't last much longer - it didn't - because I lost a ton of respect for her in that moment. She was a super-feminist type, always raging about guys only caring about girls' looks and not caring about anything else, but in the end, she was nothing but an enormous hypocrite. A lot of our mutual friends stopped talking to her for a long time over the whole thing, because she had a tendency to use my feelings for her as a way to manipulate me into doing things for her and stuff like that.

Just move on, man. If they don't want ya they don't want ya. One day someone'll come to you. Here's my theory on women: Ultimately, as the "gatekeepers", they hold all the power, thus, chasing them is stupid as it's exactly what they want. If one of them comes to you, of her own volition, there's a much better chance she's actually into you. If she makes you chase her, she's not worth it.
Thing is, now she's saying she does want to date me now that I've left. I just don't know anymore to tell you guys the truth.
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Insane? I prefer the term "creative", but I guess there isn't much difference between the two in the end, is there?

Quote:
Originally posted by The True Shredder
I give a rat's ass. I killed Master Splinter and will give you his rat's ass!

Quote:
Originally posted by snake
WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?

FEEL MY FREEZE!

I'm not quite dead.
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Old 12-07-2015, 09:48 PM   #86
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Wait...wait...this is all teenage stuff? For some reason I thought we were talking about relationships with people in their 20's.

Most teenage relationships break up by the time College starts. Very few people ever spend the rest of their lives with their "High School crushes." Its just the way it is. By the time everyone starts College they look back at their teenage years and laugh.
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Old 12-07-2015, 09:52 PM   #87
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She's full of sh*t. She's probably starting to see for herself what a c*nt the guy is and she wants to hold onto her "back-up plan". The more you tell of her the more repulsive she sounds as a human being, no offense.

I'm pretty good at spotting manipulators and she's got you where she wants you. From "I'd only date you for a week' - which, first of all, I don't even know where to start on that nonsense - to "Now I think I like you after all"... man, there's a ton of red flags all over the place with this chick.

We've established that she is a player of games as well as that she doesn't care much about your feelings. This should be pretty cut-and-dry by now.
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Old 12-07-2015, 09:57 PM   #88
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She's full of sh*t. She's probably starting to see for herself what a c*nt the guy is and she wants to hold onto her "back-up plan". The more you tell of her the more repulsive she sounds as a human being, no offense.

I'm pretty good at spotting manipulators and she's got you where she wants you. From "I'd only date you for a week' - which, first of all, I don't even know where to start on that nonsense - to "Now I think I like you after all"... man, there's a ton of red flags all over the place with this chick.

We've established that she is a player of games as well as that she doesn't care much about your feelings. This should be pretty cut-and-dry by now.
And I agree that it probably should be, but i know it will definetly take a long while to get over.
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Insane? I prefer the term "creative", but I guess there isn't much difference between the two in the end, is there?

Quote:
Originally posted by The True Shredder
I give a rat's ass. I killed Master Splinter and will give you his rat's ass!

Quote:
Originally posted by snake
WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?

FEEL MY FREEZE!

I'm not quite dead.
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Old 12-08-2015, 12:02 AM   #89
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Leo's right. It's your life, but sticking with her would be a terrible decision. Don't make any moves unless you've cleaned the pipes first, 'cause I can only assume you're leading with head #2.
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Old 12-08-2015, 12:19 AM   #90
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Not literally her, but her type. There are tons of people who do/say that exact same sh*t, it's like this culmination of issues (mostly stemming from the oxymoronic combination of insecurity & narcissism) that when spear-headed form the same person in all they inhabit. I've had my own experiences with them, they're all the same, everything's a game (whether or not they're doing on purpose, 'cause to be fair, sometimes it's just fault of how f*cked up they are upstairs). They want what they want until they get it, then they f*ck it up so they can enjoy the chase again, because that's the only part that they get anything out of. They want the attention, they want to feel like this tortured soul who needs to be rescued, but as soon as you put that shining armor on & make them feel safe, they panic, because dramatics are all they know. The uncertainty & chaos is their comfort zone, they feed off of that. They can't sort out their own feelings so they mess with the emotions of others, gives them a sense of power in an otherwise unyielding life, all at the expense of people who care for them. It's toxic. You can't fix these people, it's all their own internalized bullsh*t, they're the only ones who can work that stuff out. If you try to go along for the ride they're just gonna drag you under. It's as if causing/having problems is the only way they know how to keep people around, you know? If you're always trying to solve something for them, you're gonna be there, & you being there is all that matters. Doesn't matter if you're there & unhappy, the fact you remain to feed their psychosis is key, nothing else. It's an ego trip. Trust me, I'm only 25 but I've had a lifetime's worth of troubled romantic interests, & I'm intimately acquainted with mental illness/depression/etc.
^^ This. This guy Gets It.

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I think I'm going to give it a few months and see what happens. See if I still like her in March and if I do I'll give her a third chance. And what happens then, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.
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Well to be fair, the guy is a huge asshole and literally called me worthless to my face. He said his doing this just to spite me. I don't think she's blameless, but he's to blame for being an asshole about it.
Hun, they're both assholes. Let 'em have each other. There are plenty of other women out there - this one is just going to jerk you around and make you miserable. When you're around, she doesn't want you - but when you leave, she throws out just enough to get you to come back... and then goes back to the "no, I can't be with you" thing. Dude, as a woman, I'm telling you - if she hasn't dated and/or gotten fleshy with you before now, she's never going to. She just gets off on having you around to validate her when she feels down.

Putting any more time or energy into a friendship (or holding out for a relationship) with this bird is a waste of time and you're just going to get hurt again. And then you'll feel doubly stupid for falling for her crap yet again, and feel even more depressed. Cut your losses and get out. She's not the only woman on earth and once you've put a bit of distance between the two of you, you'll see her bullsh*t for exactly what it is - bullsh*t. Right now she's throwing out so much crap that you don't know whether you're up or down. She's playing games with your feelings and your life - f*ck that noise; I don't care what damage someone has, you don't treat other people like sh*t just because you've been hurt in the past. Giving her another chance is just signing up for another round of "use me as a doormat". You might not like yourself very much at this point in your life - I know you're not in a great place atm - but you should at least respect yourself enough to realize that you don't deserve to be treated this way and draw a line in the sand.

I know it's harsh and it's not what you want to hear, but when you're young, sometimes you need to just hear it laid out in black and white (I know I sure did).
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Old 12-08-2015, 02:29 AM   #91
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If you're chasing a girl for three goddamn years, and she's repeatedly told you No, then dude, you have LESS than Zero Chance, and if you did have one, she's not worth it anyway, just for dicking you around.
This is a concept I seriously wish more people understood. It would have saved me from a LOT of ******** and bullying because I rejected people multiple times.

The root of this problem is people only thinking about themselves -- they don't stop and think how the OTHER person feels. How it ****ing feels to have some dude you're not even into and never will be into chasing you around school for five ****ing years, as if repeatedly bothering me, trying to sabotage my platonic AND romantic relationships, STEALING FROM ME, and sending me gross, TMI emails and IMs will suddenly make me say "yes, take me already".

No, to them, it only looks like a battle to be fought and the "crush" in question is a prize to be won. They are so blinded by this that they don't even look at the signals the other person is sending, they don't look at the incredible flaws present in the other person, and to them, rejection is just a "temporary" condition that can be changed.

Because people don't ****ing understand that NO MEANS NO. YOU WILL NOT EVER CHANGE MY NO INTO A YES, AND IF YOU TRY, I'M BEATING THE **** OUT OF YOU.
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Old 12-08-2015, 06:45 AM   #92
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This is a concept I seriously wish more people understood. It would have saved me from a LOT of ******** and bullying because I rejected people multiple times.

The root of this problem is people only thinking about themselves -- they don't stop and think how the OTHER person feels. How it ****ing feels to have some dude you're not even into and never will be into chasing you around school for five ****ing years, as if repeatedly bothering me, trying to sabotage my platonic AND romantic relationships, STEALING FROM ME, and sending me gross, TMI emails and IMs will suddenly make me say "yes, take me already".

No, to them, it only looks like a battle to be fought and the "crush" in question is a prize to be won. They are so blinded by this that they don't even look at the signals the other person is sending, they don't look at the incredible flaws present in the other person, and to them, rejection is just a "temporary" condition that can be changed.

Because people don't ****ing understand that NO MEANS NO. YOU WILL NOT EVER CHANGE MY NO INTO A YES, AND IF YOU TRY, I'M BEATING THE **** OUT OF YOU.
Thing is, she has never disliked me chasing her. She loves it. Because to her, it's a game. It's not normal to do. I've always thought of her feelings first, but she also should think of mine sometimes. I don't see it as a prize or as a battle. She's now saying that she would date me now that I've left. Thing with her, is that she only got annoyed with me when I called her out for her bullshi*t. Like Leo said with his friend, it all comes down to looks with her.

As you've said, you've only ever been rejected once and have more often times been the rejecter. I have never done any of the above things you mentioned to her. Nor has she ever said or even implied that she disliked what I was doing. She loved it, because every other guy she's gone out with is an asshole, whereas I'm more of a romantic. Hell, even her friends still want me to date her, for both my sake and hers.
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Insane? I prefer the term "creative", but I guess there isn't much difference between the two in the end, is there?

Quote:
Originally posted by The True Shredder
I give a rat's ass. I killed Master Splinter and will give you his rat's ass!

Quote:
Originally posted by snake
WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?

FEEL MY FREEZE!

I'm not quite dead.

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Old 12-08-2015, 08:01 AM   #93
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Well, good luck to you dude.
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Old 12-08-2015, 08:02 AM   #94
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Well, good luck to you dude.
Thank you. I'm sure I'll need it.
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Insane? I prefer the term "creative", but I guess there isn't much difference between the two in the end, is there?

Quote:
Originally posted by The True Shredder
I give a rat's ass. I killed Master Splinter and will give you his rat's ass!

Quote:
Originally posted by snake
WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?

FEEL MY FREEZE!

I'm not quite dead.
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Old 12-08-2015, 08:29 AM   #95
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So, I sincerely thank you all for the advice and I have come to a decision.

I'm going to completely cut this person out of my life. Because even if she wants me back now, she should've when she could've. If she contacts me I'll be blunt and honest as to what I want and if she rejects me again, so f*cking be it. I don't need to put up with that sh!t. I have my own, much more important, life to live which she need not be a part of. So if she does start trying to get me back, unless she agrees to my terms for once, then im absolutely done with her and that other a**hole.

Powder, Leo, Penny, Cylon, Bry, Net, Katie, Cubed, and Shuriken thank you all so much for the advice. I greatly appreciate it.
__________________
Insane? I prefer the term "creative", but I guess there isn't much difference between the two in the end, is there?

Quote:
Originally posted by The True Shredder
I give a rat's ass. I killed Master Splinter and will give you his rat's ass!

Quote:
Originally posted by snake
WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?

FEEL MY FREEZE!

I'm not quite dead.
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Old 12-08-2015, 09:43 AM   #96
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Thing is, now she's saying she does want to date me now that I've left. I just don't know anymore to tell you guys the truth.
And it's very likely that if you reciprocate, she'll quickly change her mind. Again.

Healthy relationships don't have drama like this. If someone can't decide if they want to be with you or not, that's not likely to suddenly change. She seems emotionally confused (at the very least) and you're gonna get some serious emotional whiplash if you keep following her lead. To be brutally honest, it's clear that you want her a lot more than she wants you, and she knows that and is counting on you being on standby if her current situation doesn't work out. And all that means is you're probably just going to get your heart broken again and again when she decides she wants someone else instead.

Don't be anyone's Plan B. You deserve more than that. And if you don't believe you deserve more than that, then that's where your focus should be right now.

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So, I sincerely thank you all for the advice and I have come to a decision.

I'm going to completely cut this person out of my life. Because even if she wants me back now, she should've when she could've. If she contacts me I'll be blunt and honest as to what I want and if she rejects me again, so f*cking be it. I don't need to put up with that sh!t. I have my own, much more important, life to live which she need not be a part of. So if she does start trying to get me back, unless she agrees to my terms for once, then im absolutely done with her and that other a**hole.

Powder, Leo, Penny, Cylon, Bry, Net, Katie, Cubed, and Shuriken thank you all so much for the advice. I greatly appreciate it.
Oh hey! I took a long time typing and didn't see this.

I think this is the right call, and I'm glad to hear it. You don't have to be mean/cruel to her about it, but in short, she's causing you a lot of grief and emotional turmoil, and there's absolutely no reason you have to keep sources of trouble like that in your life. Taking care of yourself, prioritizing your own well being, is definitely the smart decision. And the sooner you work on moving on and building yourself up, the sooner good things can happen. It's a confident move. And keep working on your confidence, because the cliche is true, confidence is key!

Hope things get better soon, dude.
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Old 12-08-2015, 09:49 AM   #97
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And it's very likely that if you reciprocate, she'll quickly change her mind. Again.

Healthy relationships don't have drama like this. If someone can't decide if they want to be with you or not, that's not likely to suddenly change. She seems emotionally confused (at the very least) and you're gonna get some serious emotional whiplash if you keep following her lead. To be brutally honest, it's clear that you want her a lot more than she wants you, and she knows that and is counting on you being on standby if her current situation doesn't work out. And all that means is you're probably just going to get your heart broken again and again when she decides she wants someone else instead.

Don't be anyone's Plan B. You deserve more than that. And if you don't believe you deserve more than that, then that's where your focus should be right now.
And that is exactly where my focus will be. I have no intentions of going back to her. If she actually comes to me, then fine. If she doesn't, then fine. But I'm done being Plan B.
__________________
Insane? I prefer the term "creative", but I guess there isn't much difference between the two in the end, is there?

Quote:
Originally posted by The True Shredder
I give a rat's ass. I killed Master Splinter and will give you his rat's ass!

Quote:
Originally posted by snake
WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?

FEEL MY FREEZE!

I'm not quite dead.
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Old 12-08-2015, 09:53 AM   #98
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So, I sincerely thank you all for the advice and I have come to a decision.

I'm going to completely cut this person out of my life. Because even if she wants me back now, she should've when she could've. If she contacts me I'll be blunt and honest as to what I want and if she rejects me again, so f*cking be it. I don't need to put up with that sh!t. I have my own, much more important, life to live which she need not be a part of. So if she does start trying to get me back, unless she agrees to my terms for once, then im absolutely done with her and that other a**hole.

Powder, Leo, Penny, Cylon, Bry, Net, Katie, Cubed, and Shuriken thank you all so much for the advice. I greatly appreciate it.
You say that, and I'm not being mean, but remember your decision if and when she tries to come back. You've got a weak spot for her, just as we all have weak spots for certain people.

Remember that you tried to take your own life because of her. Be careful, be brave, be strong, and remember we're all in your corner cheering for you.
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Technodrome Moderator: Because we have to chase him.

Technodrome Member: He didnt do anything wrong.

Technodrome Moderator: Because hes the hero Technodrome Forums deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So well hunt him because he can take it. Because hes not our hero. Hes a silent guardian. A watchful protector. A dark knight.
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Old 12-08-2015, 10:03 AM   #99
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And that is exactly where my focus will be. I have no intentions of going back to her. If she actually comes to me, then fine. If she doesn't, then fine. But I'm done being Plan B.
Right on, man. Though... I'd put the "if she comes back to me" option out of your mind. I get that it's tempting to hold on to some shred of hope, but as long as a part of you is considering or wanting that option, I think it'll be a lot harder for you to move on. (At least it was in my pretty-similar situation from years back.)

You're young, and young relationships don't tend to last forever anyway. It's very freeing to just let something go entirely, just let it be in the past and left in the past, so you can move forward. Ultimately that's your call, but I know I've been jerked around and held onto hope a lot longer than I should have. But it still ended badly, and all that hope did was prevent me from moving on sooner and nearly ruin something much better in the process.

I'd ask yourself these questions: If she's caused you a lot of pain and emotional turmoil, why would you want her to come back to you? And if she does, why would you want to follow her lead again?
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Old 12-08-2015, 11:46 AM   #100
Darthknuxward
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Originally Posted by Bry View Post
Right on, man. Though... I'd put the "if she comes back to me" option out of your mind. I get that it's tempting to hold on to some shred of hope, but as long as a part of you is considering or wanting that option, I think it'll be a lot harder for you to move on. (At least it was in my pretty-similar situation from years back.)

You're young, and young relationships don't tend to last forever anyway. It's very freeing to just let something go entirely, just let it be in the past and left in the past, so you can move forward. Ultimately that's your call, but I know I've been jerked around and held onto hope a lot longer than I should have. But it still ended badly, and all that hope did was prevent me from moving on sooner and nearly ruin something much better in the process.

I'd ask yourself these questions: If she's caused you a lot of pain and emotional turmoil, why would you want her to come back to you? And if she does, why would you want to follow her lead again?
True, but if her past relationships are anything to go by, then I'm almost certain she'll come back. It's less hope and more based of past expierences.
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