GK Punk
11-27-2005, 01:12 AM
This was written by myself and Leo656 a few years back and whenever I show it to people they get a good laugh out of it. I thought maybe some of the new members might enjoy the joke. And remember, it's JUST a joke, we don't actually hate Peter Laird.
DATE LINE JUNE 11 2003
For several years people have debated over the real reason for the break up of Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, creators of the mega-popular Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise. However today, we have recieved word as to what the OFFICIAL reason is. Money? Control? Power? Fame? Surprisingly, no. According to Kevin Eastman, Peter Laird just "Flipped his lid".
"We just started going in completely different creative directions. The problem really started when I realized that the possibility was very strong that Peter had never seen a naked woman.. I tried to show him the latest cover of Heavy Metal I was working on, and he flipped his lid and yelled, and I quote, 'Master Splinter would not approve!' I was just like, What the F*CK are you talking about?"
Kevin went on to tell us that Peter then began throwing plastic sais at him and yelling "Get out of our Secret Lair, Shredder!!!"
"I tried to mend fences, really," Kevin told us, referring to his attempts to contact Laird after his emotional breakdown. "I went to his house with his birthday present... rang the bell, he wouldnt open the door, just looked at me through the window... he started yelling about how he'd 'never join forces with an evildoer like you'... I could barely see it, but he was wearing his Ninja Turtle pajamas under his suit. Donatello, it was. I was so ashamed...."
Our reporter failed to contact Peter Laird for comment. Upon attempting to call his home, all that was heard was an answering machine tape which said the following:
"Kevin Eastman? WHO CARES about Kevin Eastman?! He meant NOTHING to this franchise! SO WHAT if he sleeps with Julie Strain? I have my deluxe Mirage Leonardo statue with RED bandana! Do you hear me?! RED! REEEEEEED!!!"
Our reporter could not resist asking Kevin one final question: Does he make his wife, model Julie Strain, sing the Ninja Turtles theme song during "suiet moments"?
Kevin smiled upon hearing the question. "Of course," he replied. "And every time she gets the names mixed up, it's a donkey punch."
--Reporter Gregory Helms, Northampton Gazette
DATE LINE JUNE 11 2003
For several years people have debated over the real reason for the break up of Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, creators of the mega-popular Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise. However today, we have recieved word as to what the OFFICIAL reason is. Money? Control? Power? Fame? Surprisingly, no. According to Kevin Eastman, Peter Laird just "Flipped his lid".
"We just started going in completely different creative directions. The problem really started when I realized that the possibility was very strong that Peter had never seen a naked woman.. I tried to show him the latest cover of Heavy Metal I was working on, and he flipped his lid and yelled, and I quote, 'Master Splinter would not approve!' I was just like, What the F*CK are you talking about?"
Kevin went on to tell us that Peter then began throwing plastic sais at him and yelling "Get out of our Secret Lair, Shredder!!!"
"I tried to mend fences, really," Kevin told us, referring to his attempts to contact Laird after his emotional breakdown. "I went to his house with his birthday present... rang the bell, he wouldnt open the door, just looked at me through the window... he started yelling about how he'd 'never join forces with an evildoer like you'... I could barely see it, but he was wearing his Ninja Turtle pajamas under his suit. Donatello, it was. I was so ashamed...."
Our reporter failed to contact Peter Laird for comment. Upon attempting to call his home, all that was heard was an answering machine tape which said the following:
"Kevin Eastman? WHO CARES about Kevin Eastman?! He meant NOTHING to this franchise! SO WHAT if he sleeps with Julie Strain? I have my deluxe Mirage Leonardo statue with RED bandana! Do you hear me?! RED! REEEEEEED!!!"
Our reporter could not resist asking Kevin one final question: Does he make his wife, model Julie Strain, sing the Ninja Turtles theme song during "suiet moments"?
Kevin smiled upon hearing the question. "Of course," he replied. "And every time she gets the names mixed up, it's a donkey punch."
--Reporter Gregory Helms, Northampton Gazette