The Real Reason Eastman and Laird Broke up! (Repost for new members)

**GK Punk** · 11-27-2005, 01:12 AM

This was written by myself and Leo656 a few years back and whenever I show it to people they get a good laugh out of it. I thought maybe some of the new members might enjoy the joke. And remember, it's JUST a joke, we don't actually hate Peter Laird.

DATE LINE JUNE 11 2003

For several years people have debated over the real reason for the break up of Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, creators of the mega-popular Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise. However today, we have recieved word as to what the OFFICIAL reason is. Money? Control? Power? Fame? Surprisingly, no. According to Kevin Eastman, Peter Laird just "Flipped his lid".
"We just started going in completely different creative directions. The problem really started when I realized that the possibility was very strong that Peter had never seen a naked woman.. I tried to show him the latest cover of Heavy Metal I was working on, and he flipped his lid and yelled, and I quote, 'Master Splinter would not approve!' I was just like, What the F*CK are you talking about?"

Kevin went on to tell us that Peter then began throwing plastic sais at him and yelling "Get out of our Secret Lair, Shredder!!!"

"I tried to mend fences, really," Kevin told us, referring to his attempts to contact Laird after his emotional breakdown. "I went to his house with his birthday present... rang the bell, he wouldnt open the door, just looked at me through the window... he started yelling about how he'd 'never join forces with an evildoer like you'... I could barely see it, but he was wearing his Ninja Turtle pajamas under his suit. Donatello, it was. I was so ashamed...."

Our reporter failed to contact Peter Laird for comment. Upon attempting to call his home, all that was heard was an answering machine tape which said the following:

"Kevin Eastman? WHO CARES about Kevin Eastman?! He meant NOTHING to this franchise! SO WHAT if he sleeps with Julie Strain? I have my deluxe Mirage Leonardo statue with RED bandana! Do you hear me?! RED! REEEEEEED!!!"

Our reporter could not resist asking Kevin one final question: Does he make his wife, model Julie Strain, sing the Ninja Turtles theme song during "suiet moments"?

Kevin smiled upon hearing the question. "Of course," he replied. "And every time she gets the names mixed up, it's a donkey punch."
--Reporter Gregory Helms, Northampton Gazette

*Tetsu Deinonychus* · 11-27-2005, 01:15 AM

ALWAYS a classic, GK. Always.

11-27-2005, 01:52 AM

OMFG!!! I was giggling hystaricly over this!! I loved it!

**GK Punk** · 11-27-2005, 01:52 AM

Glad you liked it

*Sewer Bull* · 11-27-2005, 02:02 AM

*laughs so loud and then explodes

*

*Spitfire* · 11-27-2005, 02:50 AM

Hahaha oh god, poor Laird.

*That Matt Guy* · 11-27-2005, 05:18 AM

Man I miss Leo656.

*Weapon X* · 11-27-2005, 08:24 AM

Hahaha, that was good, glad you decided to put it back up.

~~BartAllen~~ · 11-27-2005, 08:30 AM

Ok, I didnt think it was that funny until I read this, then I literally fell out of my chair. "

Kevin smiled upon hearing the question. "Of course," he replied. "And every time she gets the names mixed up, it's a donkey punch."

I laughed so hard, I started coughing.

*Anarky* · 11-27-2005, 12:35 PM

Oh Man, this is awesome. I read it somewhere before and it had me laughing for quite a while. And it happened again! I am still laughing.

**Jester** · 11-27-2005, 12:39 PM

Poor Petey...but maybe that's hope for me that I'll create a memorable franchise...but loose my marbles along the way...

*XERO* · 11-27-2005, 12:39 PM

HAHA! I remember this!

A legendary duo, Leo656 and Grunger Kittie.

*salutes*

*Kid Icarus* · 11-27-2005, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BartAllen

Ok, I didnt think it was that funny until I read this, then I literally fell out of my chair. "

Kevin smiled upon hearing the question. "Of course," he replied. "And every time she gets the names mixed up, it's a donkey punch."

I laughed so hard, I started coughing.

Mmm hm. first time i read that, i had no idea what the hell a donkey punch was... it makes so much sense now

Jo269976 · 11-28-2005, 09:14 AM

*laughs so much brain jumps out of body* .........................................

*cqb101* · 11-29-2005, 11:20 AM

I really miss the Dynamic Duo of GK and leo.

Thanks for reposting this, GK. I needed a good laugh.

11-29-2005, 11:33 AM

Oh. Dear. God. I just found out what a donkey punch is... O_O

Information best left unknown.

*Tetsu Deinonychus* · 11-29-2005, 11:57 AM

I'm still kinda wondering.

11-29-2005, 12:09 PM

All you need to know is that it's really, REALLY bad and disgusting.

*cqb101* · 11-29-2005, 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ヴァルキリ

I'm still kinda wondering.

If you really wanna know, PM me. I'm not about to post it here.

*Sewer Bull* · 11-29-2005, 12:31 PM

All you have to do is to use Google or Wikipedia, duh.

11-27-2005, 01:12 AM	#1
GK Punk I'm your Devil Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 12,439	The Real Reason Eastman and Laird Broke up! (Repost for new members) This was written by myself and Leo656 a few years back and whenever I show it to people they get a good laugh out of it. I thought maybe some of the new members might enjoy the joke. And remember, it's JUST a joke, we don't actually hate Peter Laird. DATE LINE JUNE 11 2003 For several years people have debated over the real reason for the break up of Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, creators of the mega-popular Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise. However today, we have recieved word as to what the OFFICIAL reason is. Money? Control? Power? Fame? Surprisingly, no. According to Kevin Eastman, Peter Laird just "Flipped his lid". "We just started going in completely different creative directions. The problem really started when I realized that the possibility was very strong that Peter had never seen a naked woman.. I tried to show him the latest cover of Heavy Metal I was working on, and he flipped his lid and yelled, and I quote, 'Master Splinter would not approve!' I was just like, What the F*CK are you talking about?" Kevin went on to tell us that Peter then began throwing plastic sais at him and yelling "Get out of our Secret Lair, Shredder!!!" "I tried to mend fences, really," Kevin told us, referring to his attempts to contact Laird after his emotional breakdown. "I went to his house with his birthday present... rang the bell, he wouldnt open the door, just looked at me through the window... he started yelling about how he'd 'never join forces with an evildoer like you'... I could barely see it, but he was wearing his Ninja Turtle pajamas under his suit. Donatello, it was. I was so ashamed...." Our reporter failed to contact Peter Laird for comment. Upon attempting to call his home, all that was heard was an answering machine tape which said the following: "Kevin Eastman? WHO CARES about Kevin Eastman?! He meant NOTHING to this franchise! SO WHAT if he sleeps with Julie Strain? I have my deluxe Mirage Leonardo statue with RED bandana! Do you hear me?! RED! REEEEEEED!!!" Our reporter could not resist asking Kevin one final question: Does he make his wife, model Julie Strain, sing the Ninja Turtles theme song during "suiet moments"? Kevin smiled upon hearing the question. "Of course," he replied. "And every time she gets the names mixed up, it's a donkey punch." --Reporter Gregory Helms, Northampton Gazette

11-27-2005, 01:15 AM	#2
Tetsu Deinonychus The Iron Dinosaur Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Studio Snowlion HQ Posts: 3,021	ALWAYS a classic, GK. Always. __________________ (Image hosting by Postimage.org) And here's a list of all my old wacky threads!

11-27-2005, 02:02 AM	#5
Sewer Bull Devil's Advocate Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 4,768	laughs so loud and then explodes __________________ Soooo... THIS* is how you spend your free time now?!* Last edited by Sewer Bull; 11-27-2005 at 03:18 AM.

11-27-2005, 02:50 AM	#6
Spitfire Writer • Director Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 12,035	Hahaha oh god, poor Laird. __________________ Check out my online portfolio http://www.christopherpelletier.com/

11-27-2005, 12:35 PM	#10
Anarky Outlaw Hero Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Tannhauser Gate Posts: 4,867	Oh Man, this is awesome. I read it somewhere before and it had me laughing for quite a while. And it happened again! I am still laughing. __________________ Because it's... I dunno... brutal.

11-27-2005, 01:52 AM	#3
Ryona Guest Posts: n/a	OMFG!!! I was giggling hystaricly over this!! I loved it!

11-27-2005, 05:18 AM	#7
That Matt Guy Honey Bunches Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Lone Star State Posts: 5,840	Man I miss Leo656.

11-27-2005, 08:24 AM	#8
Weapon X Turtle Power! Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Ohio Posts: 2,744	Hahaha, that was good, glad you decided to put it back up.

11-27-2005, 08:30 AM	#9
~~BartAllen~~ Banned Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 922	Ok, I didnt think it was that funny until I read this, then I literally fell out of my chair. " Kevin smiled upon hearing the question. "Of course," he replied. "And every time she gets the names mixed up, it's a donkey punch." I laughed so hard, I started coughing.

11-27-2005, 12:39 PM	#11
Jester Rat-faced Dude-guy Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Arkansas Posts: 26,298	Poor Petey...but maybe that's hope for me that I'll create a memorable franchise...but loose my marbles along the way... __________________ "Clearly, you're Ninja Turtling incorrectly." - Leo656

11-27-2005, 12:39 PM	#12
XERO Hybrid Theorist Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Alamo City Posts: 8,185	HAHA! I remember this! A legendary duo, Leo656 and Grunger Kittie. salutes __________________ "Travel at the speed of light... then hit the nitro!"

11-28-2005, 09:14 AM	#14
Jo269976 Stone Warrior Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Arkham Asylum Posts: 592	laughs so much brain jumps out of body ......................................... __________________

11-29-2005, 11:20 AM	#15
cqb101 Cinephile Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Salem, MA Posts: 8,489	I really miss the Dynamic Duo of GK and leo. Thanks for reposting this, GK. I needed a good laugh. __________________ Facebook

11-29-2005, 11:33 AM	#16
Ryona Guest Posts: n/a	Oh. Dear. God. I just found out what a donkey punch is... O_O Information best left unknown.

11-29-2005, 11:57 AM	#17
Tetsu Deinonychus The Iron Dinosaur Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Studio Snowlion HQ Posts: 3,021	I'm still kinda wondering. __________________ (Image hosting by Postimage.org) And here's a list of all my old wacky threads!

11-29-2005, 12:09 PM	#18
Ryona Guest Posts: n/a	All you need to know is that it's really, REALLY bad and disgusting.

11-29-2005, 12:31 PM	#20
Sewer Bull Devil's Advocate Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 4,768	All you have to do is to use Google or Wikipedia, duh. __________________ Soooo... THIS* is how you spend your free time now?!*