the *REAL* reason Eastman and Laird broke up!

[GK Punk]

DATE LINE JUNE 11 2003

For several years people have debated over the real reason for the break up of Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, creators of the mega-popular Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise. However today, we have recieved word as to what the OFFICIAL reason is. Money? Control? Power? Fame? Surprisingly, no. According to Kevin Eastman, Peter Laird just "Flipped his lid".
"We just started going in completely different creative directions. The problem really started when I realized that the possibility was very strong that Peter had never seen a naked woman.. I tried to show him the latest cover of Heavy Metal I was working on, and he flipped his lid and yelled, and I quote, 'Master Splinter would not approve!' I was just like, What the F*CK are you talking about?"

Kevin went on to tell us that Peter then began throwing plastic sais at him and yelling "Get out of our Secret Lair, Shredder!!!"

"I tried to mend fences, really," Kevin told us, referring to his attempts to contact Laird after his emotional breakdown. "I went to his house with his birthday present... rang the bell, he wouldnt open the door, just looked at me through the window... he started yelling about how he'd 'never join forces with an evildoer like you'... I could barely see it, but he was wearing his Ninja Turtle pajamas under his suit. Donatello, it was. I was so ashamed...."

Our reporter failed to contact Peter Laird for comment. Upon attempting to call his home, all that was heard was an answering machine tape which said the following:

"Kevin Eastman? WHO CARES about Kevin Eastman?! He meant NOTHING to this franchise! SO WHAT if he sleeps with Julie Strain? I have my deluxe Mirage Leonardo statue with RED bandana! Do you hear me?! RED! REEEEEEED!!!"

Our reporter could not resist asking Kevin one final question: Does he make his wife, model Julie Strain, sing the Ninja Turtles theme song during "suiet moments"?

Kevin smiled upon hearing the question. "Of course," he replied. "And every time she gets the names mixed up, it's a donkey punch."
--Reporter Gregory Helms, Northampton Gazette

[Kid Icarus]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Nturtle]

:lol: :lol:

That was really funny!! "Master Splinter would not approve!!!" :P

[Peanut]

:lol: .....wait...Master Splinter WOULDN'T aprove! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
*throws plates*

[JameO]

:lol: He just become to envolved with TMNT. Poor poor laird. :lol:

[Leo656]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

That's brilliant.

[J Legault]

Was that the reason or was that a joke? I wounder if the Eastman & Laird Cops have that problem. :roll:

[Tetsu Deinonychus]

Was that the reason or was that a joke? I wounder if the Eastman & Laird Cops have that problem. :roll:Historical innacuracies prove that was a joke, and a good one at that. Now, I like Peter Laird, but right now, I'm a little pissed off at him for killing off Splinter.

[Leo656]

Heh... y'got us, Brother Tetsu. Nothing gets by you. :lol:

It started last night with a chat GK and I were having... it was really late (well, here in NJ anyway) and it quickly descended into goofiness as we started just making random jokes about Peter Laird, fans who argue over stuff like bandanna colors (red vs colored), and how Kevin Eastman gets to cuddle Julie Strain. Most of Eastman's "quotes" were mine, GK came up with the "newspaper article" idea and set it up in that format and wrote the body, and then I corrected some minor spelling mistakes (one or two slipped past though). We figured it'd be funny, and apparently it was. :D

nWo Tech: We Write Funny Sh*t! :evilgrin:

Edit: Come to think of it, I think GK has the original IM saved... I'd bet dollars to donuts that it's even funnier than the "article"... :lol:

[Reznorite420]

For a minute there, I almost thought this was from "The Onion"...

And don't tell me Splinter was killed in issue 10... :cry:

[Leo656]

Ok... I won't tell you... (whistles, looks around aimlessly)

Hmm hm hmmmmmm... HEY, Rez, what's THAT? :o

SPLAT! ("Splats" a pie in Rez's face)

Heh, sorry pal... but you know what they say about "when all else fails..." :D

[Pepzi]

too bad it wasn't true... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[GK Punk]

For a minute there, I almost thought this was from "The Onion"...

And don't tell me Splinter was killed in issue 10... :cry:

Wow, that's a big compliment!

Thanks for the responces guys! me and Leo just knew what we had was comedy gold and had to make it in to a "news" article.

[Leo656]

Our actual AIM chats are funnier, but by the time we removed anything ban-worthy and all the potential lawsuit material, there wouldn't be much left to laugh at. We should start saving those for a highlight reel. :lol:

[Mars-Chan]

Too funny. Too funny. :lol:

[Ghidorah2000]

Oh jeese! This thread has me laughing so hard that my eyes are tearing up. Oh what I wouldn't give to see a grown man running around throwing plastic sais at another grown man. But I have to agree about Heavy Metal man. That is some nasty stuff. I mean there's only so many 2 D naked women I can stand before I feel like torching a graphic novel. I mean you could create a drinking game based on how many times you see animated boobs being flashed in the animated movie. Of course I'm kinda biased because I'm a *gasp!* girl.

[The Stryker]

Holy crap!!!! you're a girl!?!?!? :o :o :o

eh! a goji fan is a goji fan

[Tetsu Deinonychus]

Oh jeese! This thread has me laughing so hard that my eyes are tearing up. Oh what I wouldn't give to see a grown man running around throwing plastic sais at another grown man. But I have to agree about Heavy Metal man. That is some nasty stuff. I mean there's only so many 2 D naked women I can stand before I feel like torching a graphic novel. I mean you could create a drinking game based on how many times you see animated boobs being flashed in the animated movie. Of course I'm kinda biased because I'm a *gasp!* girl.Wow a female Godzilla fan! There is justice in the world! And, anyway, I happen to love Heavy Metal. I mean, I'm a guy (straight BTW), but I don't mind male nudity in comics. I don't see the reason for a girl to mind female nudity.

[Ghidorah2000]

Oh jeese! This thread has me laughing so hard that my eyes are tearing up. Oh what I wouldn't give to see a grown man running around throwing plastic sais at another grown man. But I have to agree about Heavy Metal man. That is some nasty stuff. I mean there's only so many 2 D naked women I can stand before I feel like torching a graphic novel. I mean you could create a drinking game based on how many times you see animated boobs being flashed in the animated movie. Of course I'm kinda biased because I'm a *gasp!* girl.Wow a female Godzilla fan! There is justice in the world! And, anyway, I happen to love Heavy Metal. I mean, I'm a guy (straight BTW), but I don't mind male nudity in comics. I don't see the reason for a girl to mind female nudity.

Well, as you can tell, I'm a lady. I really don't like seeing other woman's breasts 2D, 3D, Live and in color, etc. etc. It's a real turn off for me. I mean I'm not attracted to women so the flashing of breasts tends to make me want to run for cover. Now if you were to show me a finely buffed looking man, he doesn't necessarily need to be naked, I'm interested. I mean Hugh Jackman in X2 was just so hunky. You can tell he worked out like a crazy. And yes, I love Goji films. I have been a fan ever since I was a little kid, and that was quite awhile ago. I guess i am a rare breed. A lady who loves Goji, Ninja Turtles, and sporting events. Well I'm not a baseball fan but I'd love to go see a live Hockey or Football game.

[Ghidorah2000]

http://www.wrestleology.com/images/wwf/nash.jpg

And this guy I had the biggest crush on way back. He still looks pretty good too. Love the blond hair too.But enough of my off topic Gurly Gurl drooling!

[Tetsu Deinonychus]

Oh jeese! This thread has me laughing so hard that my eyes are tearing up. Oh what I wouldn't give to see a grown man running around throwing plastic sais at another grown man. But I have to agree about Heavy Metal man. That is some nasty stuff. I mean there's only so many 2 D naked women I can stand before I feel like torching a graphic novel. I mean you could create a drinking game based on how many times you see animated boobs being flashed in the animated movie. Of course I'm kinda biased because I'm a *gasp!* girl.Wow a female Godzilla fan! There is justice in the world! And, anyway, I happen to love Heavy Metal. I mean, I'm a guy (straight BTW), but I don't mind male nudity in comics. I don't see the reason for a girl to mind female nudity.

Well, as you can tell, I'm a lady. I really don't like seeing other woman's breasts 2D, 3D, Live and in color, etc. etc. It's a real turn off for me. I mean I'm not attracted to women so the flashing of breasts tends to make me want to run for cover. Now if you were to show me a finely buffed looking man, he doesn't necessarily need to be naked, I'm interested. I mean Hugh Jackman in X2 was just so hunky. You can tell he worked out like a crazy. And yes, I love Goji films. I have been a fan ever since I was a little kid, and that was quite awhile ago. I guess i am a rare breed. A lady who loves Goji, Ninja Turtles, and sporting events. Well I'm not a baseball fan but I'd love to go see a live Hockey or Football game.My point was that I'm not attracted to guys but I have no problem with male nudity. Anyway, Tomboys rock!

[Leo656]

And she's right... Nash is indeed a sexy, sexy beast. :evilgrin:

[InsaneZane]

What about this guy?
http://www.cobain.com/images/kurt19.jpg

I know... he's dead, but girls were crazy over his long, dirty-blode hair.

I have long, dirty-blonde hair, actually, I think mine is longer than Kurt's right here though.

[The Defibrillator]

*climbs back into his chair after rolling on the floor laughing*

:lol: :lol: Wow, that is some funny stuff. :lol: :lol:

[Raven]

:o that is to funny

splinter would not agree!

[Reznorite420]

And she's right... Nash is indeed a sexy, sexy beast. :evilgrin:What about this guy?
http://www.cobain.com/images/kurt19.jpgDon't forget...

*points to his avatar*



:goofygri:

I'm going to my room...

[The Turtle Titan]

oh cmon...THAT WASNT FUNNY..poor peter laird....spends HIS time and HIS money to make TMNT what it is today...and what does he get for it....okay maybe peter isnt the most best looking guy and maybe he did get a little too involved....but give the poor man a break...jeez....

[Leo656]

Ehhh lighten up. :P

[Ghidorah2000]

My point was that I'm not attracted to guys but I have no problem with male nudity. Anyway, Tomboys rock!

How can I put this bluntly here....I just don't like seeing women's bare breasts period because it makes me feel dirty and grossed out. I am replused by naked women's bodies in a way similar to like finding a head of stale cabbage in the crisper that has been there for at least a few monthes. To me animated or 2 D bare breasts are even worse because they're like fake. Well not to say most Playboy centerfold's boob jobs aren't fake but still.....You shoulda seen my sister and I when we watched the Heavy Metal movie. Everytime we saw a woman we were like, "What a big surprise! She's stayed clothed for only 5 seconds before taking off her clothes!" Seriously you could start a drinking game based on that movie alone. We totally razzed that movie like crazy. In short, I'd rather not look at the naked body of someone of my own gender thank you very much. I avoid it as much as possible. I kinda react the same way the turtles did when Quarry regressed back to her pre-mutated state.

[Ghidorah2000]

What about this guy?
http://www.cobain.com/images/kurt19.jpg

I know... he's dead, but girls were crazy over his long, dirty-blode hair.

I have long, dirty-blonde hair, actually, I think mine is longer than Kurt's right here though.

Are you trying to subliminally say something here eh?

[Ghidorah2000]

And she's right... Nash is indeed a sexy, sexy beast. :evilgrin:

Yeah. I have a weakness for guys that are ruggedly handsome with fairly long hair. Being a blond helps alot too. I mean I hail from that long gone era called the Metal Era where it was the in thing to have long, huge hair. I guess I'm still stuck in that era. I'm not really attracted to a man unless his hair is at least to their shoulders.

[PWDESAI]

It's funny, but I agree with Titan, why are you sticking up for the guy that ditched TMNT?

I'm attracted to girls that aren't fat and are in my grasp, meaning I don't care for women in movies n' such.

And seeing a guy naked anywhere is not cool, it's gross, if it was there I would either turn away or just close my eyes. In the guys locker room you see tetsu looking at all the guys and they're like... dude?? and he's like, it's ok I'm straight I swear... j/k man.

[Blades]

Well, as you can tell, I'm a lady. I really don't like seeing other woman's breasts 2D, 3D, Live and in color, etc. etc. It's a real turn off for me. I mean I'm not attracted to women so the flashing of breasts tends to make me want to run for cover. Now if you were to show me a finely buffed looking man, he doesn't necessarily need to be naked, I'm interested. I mean Hugh Jackman in X2 was just so hunky. You can tell he worked out like a crazy. And yes, I love Goji films. I have been a fan ever since I was a little kid, and that was quite awhile ago. I guess i am a rare breed. A lady who loves Goji, Ninja Turtles, and sporting events. Well I'm not a baseball fan but I'd love to go see a live Hockey or Football game.

Another girl who's into less girly things, yay!!! ^_^ Not much of a Goji fan, but I am hooked on sports (except golf and football), and of course the TMNT. I would always get razzed on it back in Grade school, while the other 4th graders wore makeup and were dieting (if I ever have a daughter, I will NEVER buy one of those teen mags for them. They're evil incarnate in full color photos :evil: )

Heh, oh yeah, almost forgot, I'm a fan of a different big man wrestler, Kane. :D

*edit: Stupid picture! :x *

I like my wrestlers burnt on the outside, and pent up anger on the inside. :P

[GK Punk]

It's funny, but I agree with Titan, why are you sticking up for the guy that ditched TMNT?



Actually we aren't sticking up for him, it was just a joke about how Eastman went off and married Julie Strain, while Laird stayed behind to work on a comic about Turtles who are Ninjas. See, when you think of it that way, it's actually kind of funny.

[Tetsu Deinonychus]

It's funny, but I agree with Titan, why are you sticking up for the guy that ditched TMNT?

I'm attracted to girls that aren't fat and are in my grasp, meaning I don't care for women in movies n' such.

And seeing a guy naked anywhere is not cool, it's gross, if it was there I would either turn away or just close my eyes. In the guys locker room you see tetsu looking at all the guys and they're like... dude?? and he's like, it's ok I'm straight I swear... j/k man. They were just joking about the split-up and BTW I didn't say I enjoy seeing naked guys, I just said I don't mind it in comics, movies, etc. I do NOT look at guys in locker rooms!

[Leo656]

Yeah we aren't sticking up for one of them or putting the other one down, it just grew out of a joke about how Laird heads up a hugely successful TMNT franchise worth millions.... but Eastman gets to sleep with Julie Strain. It's kinda hard to tell who got the better end of that deal, in all honesty. :lol:

[Ghidorah2000]

Yeah we aren't sticking up for one of them or putting the other one down, it just grew out of a joke about how Laird heads up a hugely successful TMNT franchise worth millions.... but Eastman gets to sleep with Julie Strain. It's kinda hard to tell who got the better end of that deal, in all honesty. :lol:

I just wish I'd be at that level where guys could have adulation and jealousy for the guy I married. But alas I don't think that would ever happen in a million years.

[gobo]

In short, I'd rather not look at the naked body of someone of my own gender thank you very much. I avoid it as much as possible. I kinda react the same way the turtles did when Quarry regressed back to her pre-mutated state.

I thought that was just their politeness showing. Afer all, they aren't human OR female. So, did I miss the point?

[PWDESAI]

It's funny, but I agree with Titan, why are you sticking up for the guy that ditched TMNT?

I'm attracted to girls that aren't fat and are in my grasp, meaning I don't care for women in movies n' such.

And seeing a guy naked anywhere is not cool, it's gross, if it was there I would either turn away or just close my eyes. In the guys locker room you see tetsu looking at all the guys and they're like... dude?? and he's like, it's ok I'm straight I swear... j/k man. They were just joking about the split-up and BTW I didn't say I enjoy seeing naked guys, I just said I don't mind it in comics, movies, etc. I do NOT look at guys in locker rooms!

Lighten up i was just joking
Yeah I know, but Petey is much older than Kevin... Peter got Lawson, they make a nice couple. I hope he never sees this thread :P

[Leo656]

:lol:

Actually, I hope not either, because Laird really seems to take himself a bit too seriously and he might lash out at all the "ungrateful" fans out there.

We're not ungrateful, we're just jerks.

[GK Punk]

:lol:

Actually, I hope not either, because Laird really seems to take himself a bit too seriously and he might lash out at all the "ungrateful" fans out there.

We're not ungrateful, we're just jerks.

So true, so true :) :D
(We love you Laird! ITS A JOKE!)

[Tetsu Deinonychus]

Yeah, Mr. Laird, If you're reading this, it's just a joke. You know, we all love ya!

BTW From what I hear Laird has a wife too, she's not famous like Julie Strain, but (since I don't know who Julie Strain is), I'd still have to say that Laird did as well as Eastman in the women department.

And, I doubt Laird reads the General Discussion, I think he just skims the TMNT related sections for rumors to correct.

[Leo656]

Julie Strain is a model and movie star of the (ahem) "mature" variety. She has her own website where you can see many, many pictures of her in various states of dress (and undress). Some of us may remember her from Playboy TV's "Sex Court" show. She's over 6 feet tall, brunette, and has very, very nice legs.

I haven't seen Laird's wife, but... I'm guessing she's no Julie Strain. :D

[Tetsu Deinonychus]

Well I've now seen Julie Strain, and yeah we don't know what Laird's wife looks like and more importantly we don't know what either woman's personality is like so we can't really say which one "did better", and for what it's worth, I don't care. It's a dumb arguement.

But, yeah Julie Strain has her appeal. :wink:

[TMNT is cooler than MOTU]

:lol: :lol: :lol: