the *REAL* reason Eastman and Laird broke up!

**GK Punk** · 06-11-2003, 05:22 PM

DATE LINE JUNE 11 2003

For several years people have debated over the real reason for the break up of Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, creators of the mega-popular Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise. However today, we have recieved word as to what the OFFICIAL reason is. Money? Control? Power? Fame? Surprisingly, no. According to Kevin Eastman, Peter Laird just "Flipped his lid".
"We just started going in completely different creative directions. The problem really started when I realized that the possibility was very strong that Peter had never seen a naked woman.. I tried to show him the latest cover of Heavy Metal I was working on, and he flipped his lid and yelled, and I quote, 'Master Splinter would not approve!' I was just like, What the F*CK are you talking about?"

Kevin went on to tell us that Peter then began throwing plastic sais at him and yelling "Get out of our Secret Lair, Shredder!!!"

"I tried to mend fences, really," Kevin told us, referring to his attempts to contact Laird after his emotional breakdown. "I went to his house with his birthday present... rang the bell, he wouldnt open the door, just looked at me through the window... he started yelling about how he'd 'never join forces with an evildoer like you'... I could barely see it, but he was wearing his Ninja Turtle pajamas under his suit. Donatello, it was. I was so ashamed...."

Our reporter failed to contact Peter Laird for comment. Upon attempting to call his home, all that was heard was an answering machine tape which said the following:

"Kevin Eastman? WHO CARES about Kevin Eastman?! He meant NOTHING to this franchise! SO WHAT if he sleeps with Julie Strain? I have my deluxe Mirage Leonardo statue with RED bandana! Do you hear me?! RED! REEEEEEED!!!"

Our reporter could not resist asking Kevin one final question: Does he make his wife, model Julie Strain, sing the Ninja Turtles theme song during "suiet moments"?

Kevin smiled upon hearing the question. "Of course," he replied. "And every time she gets the names mixed up, it's a donkey punch."
--Reporter Gregory Helms, Northampton Gazette

*Kid Icarus* · 06-11-2003, 05:32 PM

**Nturtle** · 06-11-2003, 05:36 PM

That was really funny!! "Master Splinter would not approve!!!"

Peanut · 06-11-2003, 06:50 PM

.....wait...Master Splinter WOULDN'T aprove! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
*throws plates*

*JameO* · 06-11-2003, 07:06 PM

He just become to envolved with TMNT. Poor poor laird.

~~Leo656~~ · 06-11-2003, 07:10 PM

That's brilliant.

*J Legault* · 06-11-2003, 07:58 PM

Was that the reason or was that a joke? I wounder if the Eastman & Laird Cops have that problem.

*Tetsu Deinonychus* · 06-11-2003, 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J Legault

Was that the reason or was that a joke? I wounder if the Eastman & Laird Cops have that problem.

Historical innacuracies prove that was a joke, and a good one at that. Now, I like Peter Laird, but right now, I'm a little pissed off at him for killing off Splinter.

~~Leo656~~ · 06-11-2003, 08:29 PM

Heh... y'got us, Brother Tetsu. Nothing gets by you.

It started last night with a chat GK and I were having... it was really late (well, here in NJ anyway) and it quickly descended into goofiness as we started just making random jokes about Peter Laird, fans who argue over stuff like bandanna colors (red vs colored), and how Kevin Eastman gets to cuddle Julie Strain. Most of Eastman's "quotes" were mine, GK came up with the "newspaper article" idea and set it up in that format and wrote the body, and then I corrected some minor spelling mistakes (one or two slipped past though). We figured it'd be funny, and apparently it was.

nWo Tech: We Write Funny Sh*t!

Edit: Come to think of it, I think GK has the original IM saved... I'd bet dollars to donuts that it's even funnier than the "article"...

~~Reznorite420~~ · 06-11-2003, 08:39 PM

For a minute there, I almost thought this was from "The Onion"...

And don't tell me Splinter was killed in issue 10...

~~Leo656~~ · 06-11-2003, 08:52 PM

Ok... I won't tell you... (whistles, looks around aimlessly)

Hmm hm hmmmmmm... HEY, Rez, what's THAT?

SPLAT! ("Splats" a pie in Rez's face)

Heh, sorry pal... but you know what they say about "when all else fails..."

Pepzi · 06-11-2003, 11:23 PM

too bad it wasn't true...

**GK Punk** · 06-12-2003, 12:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reznorite420

For a minute there, I almost thought this was from "The Onion"...

And don't tell me Splinter was killed in issue 10...

Wow, that's a big compliment!

Thanks for the responces guys! me and Leo just knew what we had was comedy gold and had to make it in to a "news" article.

~~Leo656~~ · 06-12-2003, 12:18 AM

Our actual AIM chats are funnier, but by the time we removed anything ban-worthy and all the potential lawsuit material, there wouldn't be much left to laugh at. We should start saving those for a highlight reel.

*Mars-Chan* · 06-12-2003, 09:02 AM

Too funny. Too funny.

Ghidorah2000 · 06-12-2003, 09:42 AM

Oh jeese! This thread has me laughing so hard that my eyes are tearing up. Oh what I wouldn't give to see a grown man running around throwing plastic sais at another grown man. But I have to agree about Heavy Metal man. That is some nasty stuff. I mean there's only so many 2 D naked women I can stand before I feel like torching a graphic novel. I mean you could create a drinking game based on how many times you see animated boobs being flashed in the animated movie. Of course I'm kinda biased because I'm a *gasp!* girl.

*The Stryker* · 06-12-2003, 09:45 AM

Holy crap!!!! you're a girl!?!?!?

eh! a goji fan is a goji fan

*Tetsu Deinonychus* · 06-12-2003, 09:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ghidorah2000

Oh jeese! This thread has me laughing so hard that my eyes are tearing up. Oh what I wouldn't give to see a grown man running around throwing plastic sais at another grown man. But I have to agree about Heavy Metal man. That is some nasty stuff. I mean there's only so many 2 D naked women I can stand before I feel like torching a graphic novel. I mean you could create a drinking game based on how many times you see animated boobs being flashed in the animated movie. Of course I'm kinda biased because I'm a *gasp!* girl.

Wow a female Godzilla fan! There is justice in the world! And, anyway, I happen to love Heavy Metal. I mean, I'm a guy (straight BTW), but I don't mind male nudity in comics. I don't see the reason for a girl to mind female nudity.

Ghidorah2000 · 06-12-2003, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TetsuDeinonychus

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ghidorah2000

Oh jeese! This thread has me laughing so hard that my eyes are tearing up. Oh what I wouldn't give to see a grown man running around throwing plastic sais at another grown man. But I have to agree about Heavy Metal man. That is some nasty stuff. I mean there's only so many 2 D naked women I can stand before I feel like torching a graphic novel. I mean you could create a drinking game based on how many times you see animated boobs being flashed in the animated movie. Of course I'm kinda biased because I'm a *gasp!* girl.

Wow a female Godzilla fan! There is justice in the world! And, anyway, I happen to love Heavy Metal. I mean, I'm a guy (straight BTW), but I don't mind male nudity in comics. I don't see the reason for a girl to mind female nudity.

Well, as you can tell, I'm a lady. I really don't like seeing other woman's breasts 2D, 3D, Live and in color, etc. etc. It's a real turn off for me. I mean I'm not attracted to women so the flashing of breasts tends to make me want to run for cover. Now if you were to show me a finely buffed looking man, he doesn't necessarily need to be naked, I'm interested. I mean Hugh Jackman in X2 was just so hunky. You can tell he worked out like a crazy. And yes, I love Goji films. I have been a fan ever since I was a little kid, and that was quite awhile ago. I guess i am a rare breed. A lady who loves Goji, Ninja Turtles, and sporting events. Well I'm not a baseball fan but I'd love to go see a live Hockey or Football game.

Ghidorah2000 · 06-12-2003, 10:08 AM

And this guy I had the biggest crush on way back. He still looks pretty good too. Love the blond hair too.But enough of my off topic Gurly Gurl drooling!

06-11-2003, 05:22 PM	#1
GK Punk I'm your Devil Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 12,439	*the REAL* reason Eastman and Laird broke up!** DATE LINE JUNE 11 2003 For several years people have debated over the real reason for the break up of Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, creators of the mega-popular Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise. However today, we have recieved word as to what the OFFICIAL reason is. Money? Control? Power? Fame? Surprisingly, no. According to Kevin Eastman, Peter Laird just "Flipped his lid". "We just started going in completely different creative directions. The problem really started when I realized that the possibility was very strong that Peter had never seen a naked woman.. I tried to show him the latest cover of Heavy Metal I was working on, and he flipped his lid and yelled, and I quote, 'Master Splinter would not approve!' I was just like, What the F*CK are you talking about?" Kevin went on to tell us that Peter then began throwing plastic sais at him and yelling "Get out of our Secret Lair, Shredder!!!" "I tried to mend fences, really," Kevin told us, referring to his attempts to contact Laird after his emotional breakdown. "I went to his house with his birthday present... rang the bell, he wouldnt open the door, just looked at me through the window... he started yelling about how he'd 'never join forces with an evildoer like you'... I could barely see it, but he was wearing his Ninja Turtle pajamas under his suit. Donatello, it was. I was so ashamed...." Our reporter failed to contact Peter Laird for comment. Upon attempting to call his home, all that was heard was an answering machine tape which said the following: "Kevin Eastman? WHO CARES about Kevin Eastman?! He meant NOTHING to this franchise! SO WHAT if he sleeps with Julie Strain? I have my deluxe Mirage Leonardo statue with RED bandana! Do you hear me?! RED! REEEEEEED!!!" Our reporter could not resist asking Kevin one final question: Does he make his wife, model Julie Strain, sing the Ninja Turtles theme song during "suiet moments"? Kevin smiled upon hearing the question. "Of course," he replied. "And every time she gets the names mixed up, it's a donkey punch." --Reporter Gregory Helms, Northampton Gazette

06-11-2003, 05:36 PM	#3
Nturtle Ninja Master Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Technodrome Airducts Posts: 5,215	That was really funny!! "Master Splinter would not approve!!!" __________________ Fil rules. If Fil takes your 5 bucks then you should be eternally grateful that Fil would even borrow your money. Fil.

06-11-2003, 07:06 PM	#5
JameO Mad Scientist Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 1,753	He just become to envolved with TMNT. Poor poor laird. __________________ "Lie, Cheat & Steal, Atleast I'm Honest"

06-11-2003, 07:58 PM	#7
J Legault Mad Scientist Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: West Coast Posts: 2,054	Was that the reason or was that a joke? I wounder if the Eastman & Laird Cops have that problem. __________________ I am a fan of TMNT and I'm still one today. I got into the habbit back in 1992 or 93' when I was little. I would like to thank my 2 year older cousin for getting me in the habbit. 2001 was when I revised my knowledge on TMNT. And today I'm a bigger fan than I was years ago. I have all 3 TMNT Movies, current Toon, and old school Toon on DVD.

06-11-2003, 11:23 PM	#12
Pepzi Hench Mutant Join Date: May 2003 Location: In The Center Posts: 421	too bad it wasn't true... __________________ Have a TMNT site? Join the top TMNT site list! TMNT-FSC.net

06-11-2003, 05:32 PM	#2
Kid Icarus Foot Elite Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Angel Land Posts: 4,150

06-11-2003, 06:50 PM	#4
Peanut Second Gear Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: The New World Posts: 15,422	.....wait...Master Splinter WOULDN'T aprove! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! throws plates

06-11-2003, 07:10 PM	#6
~~Leo656~~ Banned Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: nWo Country Posts: 27,703	That's brilliant.

06-11-2003, 08:29 PM	#9
~~Leo656~~ Banned Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: nWo Country Posts: 27,703	Heh... y'got us, Brother Tetsu. Nothing gets by you. It started last night with a chat GK and I were having... it was really late (well, here in NJ anyway) and it quickly descended into goofiness as we started just making random jokes about Peter Laird, fans who argue over stuff like bandanna colors (red vs colored), and how Kevin Eastman gets to cuddle Julie Strain. Most of Eastman's "quotes" were mine, GK came up with the "newspaper article" idea and set it up in that format and wrote the body, and then I corrected some minor spelling mistakes (one or two slipped past though). We figured it'd be funny, and apparently it was. nWo Tech: We Write Funny Sh*t! Edit: Come to think of it, I think GK has the original IM saved... I'd bet dollars to donuts that it's even funnier than the "article"...

06-11-2003, 08:39 PM	#10
~~Reznorite420~~ Banned Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 3,851	For a minute there, I almost thought this was from "The Onion"... And don't tell me Splinter was killed in issue 10...

06-11-2003, 08:52 PM	#11
~~Leo656~~ Banned Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: nWo Country Posts: 27,703	Ok... I won't tell you... (whistles, looks around aimlessly) Hmm hm hmmmmmm... HEY, Rez, what's THAT? SPLAT! ("Splats" a pie in Rez's face) Heh, sorry pal... but you know what they say about "when all else fails..."

06-12-2003, 12:18 AM	#14
~~Leo656~~ Banned Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: nWo Country Posts: 27,703	Our actual AIM chats are funnier, but by the time we removed anything ban-worthy and all the potential lawsuit material, there wouldn't be much left to laugh at. We should start saving those for a highlight reel.

06-12-2003, 09:02 AM	#15
Mars-Chan I'LL BE THE HERO!!!! Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Practicing Alchemy in Risembool Posts: 6,297	Too funny. Too funny. __________________ clings to award THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!!! cries in joy RED DAAAAAAAAAAAAWWN!!!! PROUD Member of the Risembool Rangers! (icon made by bakergirl69 on glitter-graphics)

06-12-2003, 09:42 AM	#16
Ghidorah2000 Foot Soldier Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Monster Island Posts: 189	Oh jeese! This thread has me laughing so hard that my eyes are tearing up. Oh what I wouldn't give to see a grown man running around throwing plastic sais at another grown man. But I have to agree about Heavy Metal man. That is some nasty stuff. I mean there's only so many 2 D naked women I can stand before I feel like torching a graphic novel. I mean you could create a drinking game based on how many times you see animated boobs being flashed in the animated movie. Of course I'm kinda biased because I'm a gasp! girl. __________________ Tom Servo: It's just a simple matter of "What the h* is going on?!"**

06-12-2003, 09:45 AM	#17
The Stryker Stupid Rich Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Room 237 Posts: 11,152	Holy crap!!!! you're a girl!?!?!? eh! a goji fan is a goji fan __________________ @~<3 Mom~@

06-12-2003, 10:08 AM	#20
Ghidorah2000 Foot Soldier Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Monster Island Posts: 189	And this guy I had the biggest crush on way back. He still looks pretty good too. Love the blond hair too.But enough of my off topic Gurly Gurl drooling! __________________ Tom Servo: It's just a simple matter of "What the h* is going on?!"**