The Zombie Survival Guide....

[Brodie]

http://www.quimbys.com/images/1400049628.jpg

I ordered this book last night after seeing it in just about every comic shop around CNY. It's either the biggest joke or the most damned in depth survival guide for mythical creatures.

Check this out....

Top 10 Lessons for Surviving a Zombie Attack

1. Organize before they rise!
2. They feel no fear, why should you?
3. Use your head: cut off theirs.
4. Blades don’t need reloading.
5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair.
6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it.
7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike.
8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!
9. No place is safe, only safer.

[damnhooligan]

I need one of these, if only to garnish my coffee table when my in-laws are over.

[Brodie]

I'm gonna use it for everything. I'll do exactly what it says, because...I mean..........It says "Guide" so it must be true, right?

[Skeletoncrew]

That's on my wishlist. :) Of course, I don't see an important piece of advice there: Learn to use a gun BEFORE you need it.

[Brodie]

Well, people automatically know how to use all guns in a zombie situation.....See most zombie movies ever created....Some how some little priss girl knows how to use a glock or an assault rifle...Via House Of The Dead....

[Skeletoncrew]

Yeah, incredible isn't it? I was going to take a handgun course next month, but my school schedule is too busy. I'm putting it off until summer.

[damnhooligan]

Ah, summer is prime zombie season in these parts.

[Meira-Bates]

Well, people automatically know how to use all guns in a zombie situation.....See most zombie movies ever created....Some how some little priss girl knows how to use a glock or an assault rifle...Via House Of The Dead....

-.- that's SO true. Some how I never noticed till you said so, but in movies and games (zombie or not) it seems that way a bit too oten. I'd like to learn how to use my sword myself. X.x Like they said...blades don't have to be reloaded.

[cqb101]

I must have that book. Brodie, where'd you order it?

[Brodie]

You can order it anywhere. But I got mine off Amazon for 7 bucks.

[愛]

Those zombies be damn crazy! I should pick it up.

[Shadow the hedgehog]

Zombies. No match for me.

[cqb101]

You can order it anywhere. But I got mine off Amazon for 7 bucks.

Cool. I'll just ask my mom to order next time she gets something from amazon(which is like twice a week :roll: )

[Kid Icarus]

Zombies. No match for me. Cept when there's 100 of them and they've taken your shoes and remots with red buttons on them. :evilgrin: .

[cqb101]

Top 10 Lessons for Surviving a Zombie Attack

1. Organize before they rise!
2. They feel no fear, why should you?
3. Use your head: cut off theirs.
4. Blades don’t need reloading.
5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair.
6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it.
7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike.
8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!
9. No place is safe, only safer.

Um, that's only 9 reasons. :-?

[Shadow the hedgehog]

Zombies. No match for me. Cept when there's 100 of them and they've taken your shoes and remots with red buttons on them. :evilgrin: .

Muahahahaha. They forgot to take my chaos emeralds! Muahahahaahahahahaha!

[Kid Icarus]

Zombies. No match for me. Cept when there's 100 of them and they've taken your shoes and remots with red buttons on them. :evilgrin: .

Muahahahaha. They forgot to take my chaos emeralds! Muahahahaahahahahaha! Those too. And besides, we all know Sonic always get's 'em in the end... why not make life easier and hand 'em over?

[Wes]

Yeah, a pal of mine sent this book to me a few months ago -- I haven't finished it yet, but it's been a great read so far. I like to take it with me to read when I'm riding the Metro. I've gotten a lot of odd looks -- people tend to be kind of wary of a guy in a black trenchcoat with black boots and black-and-red anarchy laces, especially when he's reading a book with weapons on the cover and gun illustrations in the text -- but at least they leave me some space and don't plop their three-foot asses down next to me. 8)

[Skeletoncrew]

Hah hah hah! Much like certain insects, Wes has developed protective markings that ward off unwanted contact. :D

[Demonfox38]

This movie will give you a crash-course on killing zombies with guns . . . (http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view.php?id=57328)

Nothing says Zombie Smiting like a YMCA pool full of holy water!

[Shadow the hedgehog]

Zombies. No match for me. Cept when there's 100 of them and they've taken your shoes and remots with red buttons on them. :evilgrin: .

Muahahahaha. They forgot to take my chaos emeralds! Muahahahaahahahahaha! Those too. And besides, we all know Sonic always get's 'em in the end... why not make life easier and hand 'em over?

Not true. If youve played Sonic Adventure 2 Battle's Dark Side, youd know that Eggman and Shadow get all 7 chaos emeralds. Besides, I could kick a zombie's butt in battle without them anyways, you forget how frail a zombie's body is.

[cqb101]

Zombies. No match for me. Cept when there's 100 of them and they've taken your shoes and remots with red buttons on them. :evilgrin: .

Muahahahaha. They forgot to take my chaos emeralds! Muahahahaahahahahaha! Those too. And besides, we all know Sonic always get's 'em in the end... why not make life easier and hand 'em over?

Not true. If youve played Sonic Adventure 2 Battle's Dark Side, youd know that Eggman and Shadow get all 7 chaos emeralds. Besides, I could kick a zombie's butt in battle without them anyways, you forget how frail a zombie's body is.

A zombies body may be frail, but unless you take out their brain or disconnect it from their body, they'll still come after you no matter what.

[Shadow the hedgehog]

Interesting. Dont zombies noramlly go after those with brains? If thats the case I have no reason to be worried now do I?

[Wingnut]

What would be the best weapon for taking out zombies

[cqb101]

What would be the best weapon for taking out zombies

My weapon of choice would be some kind of bow(crossbow, compound, etc.) or a machete.

[Brodie]

Magnum...Infinite ammo, and the ability to aim for a zombie head.

[Shadow the hedgehog]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm...... I know! THE ECLIPSE CANNON!

[愛]

Magnum...Infinite ammo, and the ability to aim for a zombie head.

Resident Evil style.

[Brodie]

The new sig is foreshadowing...>Resident Evil 4......

[cqb101]

The new sig is foreshadowing...>Resident Evil 4......

RE 4 is gonna kick so much ass it isn't funny. My friend's buying a GC just for that game.

[Taloniss]

What would be the best weapon for taking out zombies

Grenade into a room full of them.

[HorseTechie]

Top 10 Lessons for Surviving a Zombie Attack

1. Organize before they rise!
2. They feel no fear, why should you?
3. Use your head: cut off theirs.
4. Blades don’t need reloading.
5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair.
6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it.
7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike.
8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!
9. No place is safe, only safer.

Um, that's only 9 reasons. :-?
*lol*

I think we make up one, like...

10. Chainsaws are not that effective as weapons (esp while in a crowded, bouncing, bus)

;p

[Naruto]

lol yeah enspeacly then. hey there is always a perfect safe place. Take the mall for instance, food supplies, alot of places to hide and alot of gates to lock, only problem is when you run out of food. You also can get a map look for an island that is uninhabbited, gather all the exupiment you need, get a fast car or a strong bus, and some how if you know how to hot wire, have a guy with a key to a boat, or even some how get to a moving boat, do so immediatly, or just stay in the mall until you starve to death ^_^. But the boat thing is good cause go to an island and live off coconuts or Bananas all day ^_^ damn straight.

[MikesPizzaShack]

when i was younger i was thinking about writing a book on how to kill monsters and stuff. my first section was about zombies i even got 2 pages written lmao...maybe i should redo it and make some $$ lmao.

[HorseTechie]

But wait... wouldn't just wearing a full body suit of metal armor (or chain mail) protect one from the flesh biting tendacies of a zombie too?

[cqb101]

But wait... wouldn't just wearing a full body suit of metal armor (or chain mail) protect one from the flesh biting tendacies of a zombie too?

Ya, but all the fun is in hacking them up. :D

[Wes]

What would be the best weapon for taking out zombiesGrenade into a room full of them.Actually, according to the book, grenades aren't very good weapons to use...what makes them such deadly weapons against human foes is that in addition to the initial blast there's a lot of shrapnel damage and injuries incurred. These wounds won't stop zombies, and you'll more likely end up with a bunch of crippled or even perfectly fine zombies after using a grenade, since it's the head you've got to get to take them out. And yeah, fire can kill a zombie too, but it takes a reaaaally long time to work. :D

I'm not sure what I'd want to use as a primary weapon, but I'd definitely want a sniper rifle and a trench spike in my arsenal...maybe even a shaolin spade... And some light armor to protect against zombie bites would be nice.

[Brodie]

Zombies like to pull and tear, so pulling on a limb in chainmail might dislocate something.

Edit: A gernade in a zombie mouth would work though, or a flash gernade.