Complete Frustration
 

I don't want this to seem like I'm whining. But just let me get this off my chest...

Those of you who don't know me as well as some others... I've been sick for a while now. Don't worry, thus far it hasn't been diagnosed as anything dangerous. But therein lies another problem. It hasn't been diagnosed at all.

Going on three months straight now, I think, I've been 'sick'. I can't eat. I can't drink. I went three days with nothing but two sips of water a day. And when I did, I felt awful, like I was punched, but not physically ill. Which is why, in the picture thread, I had to laugh when gobo (I believe) told me to 'get some meat on my bones'. I had some. I lost it.

I'm JUST being able to eat some stuff, though not as much as I'd like, and I still feel awful every day. I've done the multiple doctors (and those who know me know how much I absolutely hate doctors. I wait until I really have to see them to go. I've done the blood tests, the ultrasound, the CAT scan... The only things they've figured out are some off blood counts and a cyst that have nothing to do with they way I'm feeling.

So, right now I'm supposed to be taking up to 9 pills a day. At the very least, two... I've done the different medicines; and they have a problem all their own. They make my seratonin levels wonky, so, in essence, they make me cry. Easily. Plus, they're playing havoc on my heart, so I have to wear a heart monitor for a month for them to track it all. (Bad heart problems on both sides of my family.)

I'm just frustrated. I haven't felt well in three months +... I can't do fun things I want to, but I HAVE to drag myself to work. I have bills to pay otherwise, and now tons of medical bills. Tests are expensive, and my medicines even moreso.

My frustration lies, though, in NO ONE being able to tell me what's wrong with me. I have to see a specialist now, but have to wait until mid December to see him (I made appt. weeks ago, too). I just want to know what's wrong with me, so I can fix it.

I want to feel good again. That's all. And I hate that I don't and haven't... It's so frustrating...

Why I personally can't relate to your situation. My mom definitely can and I can understand your fustration from her perspective. She started getting ill 18years ago and no own still knows exactly what is wrong with her. She receives a diagnosis from one doctor only to be overturned by another. One day she has something, the next day she has something else. The truth is no one completely knows the exact reason her health has been suffering for 18 years. I really hope you don't find yourself in that kind of a situation, but if you do remember maybe you remember something my mom often tells me. "While in a perfect world, someone would know exactly what was wrong with me and be able to fix me, I'd rather be here unhealthy and cherish every moment of life, then not be here for the people I love at all."

I so wish I could help Jo. I wish they could find out what is wrong. It's the feat that is usually the worst part of these things. I just wish you could get well. :(

I hope you get your answers and feel better soon.

I'm no doctor, but it sounds like you're depressed. I don't want to say 'it's all in your head', but it could be something psychological. Maybe you could try seeing a counsellor (Or just talk to someone) and taking some days off work and just relax or something. I dunno.

It must suck to feel bad all the time, I hope you get better soon.

Thanks for your concerns... I so just needed to get that off my chest.

Duke... Thank you so much for that quote from your mom. It's very good, and helped a bit. My one cousin had something they couldn't identify, either (nothing to do with m symptoms, so they aren't the same thing) It's... oddly comforting to know that other people go through the same things, though I don't wish this on anybody. My cousin told me she felt as though people thought she was a hypochondriac, that no one believed her. And that's how I feel alot of the time. But it's real and debilitating.

Not to mention my diet now! I can't eat ANYthing. No fried, grease, acidic, buttery, hot, spicy... *takes deep breath* no lettuce (too harsh on the tummy), no fresh fruits (again, harsh because of acids), caffeine, chocolate, no fun food. I know I'm missing something though...

Thanks TMB and Buslady. I just want to know, too. :( So I can fix this bad boy.

Mecha - I had a week's vacation planned from work, and took that. Unfortunately, I spent almost every day of it sick or in doctors. I thought about it being psychological... but I've taken as much time off as I can, and I've tried to relax as best I could... But it IS really physical. Thanks, though. Really, I tried to rule out that 'all in the head thing' before I ever went to the doctor. I just got too sick. Thanks for the concern and ideas, though. I appreciate them.

*hugs to all of you* I just need some support and understanding, and to know someone cares. My family and friends have been awesome about this, I thank my family HERE, too. Thank you.

Ah! Jo! :cry: *hugs you tightly* I wish that my words could actually do something to help you other than support you. Agh! I can only hope that you have a speedy recovery. I know what it's like to be sick, but to be sick like that for three months? That's definatly not good. Remember, if you need any words of comfort, we are here for ya, okay? You've been there for us, and now we are here for you :)

Thanks guys. *hugs* Truly, just knowing people care helps me so much. Had a bad weekend. From Friday after 12 to Sunday night I'd eaten just two pieces of toast, total. I was soooo sick this weekend. Today I had a piece of toast and half a bagel. Woohoo, eating twice in a day!

But really, thank you. The knowledge people are there for me helps so much. You guys made me smile.

Well! One more week until I go to the specialist...

Unfortunately... I called them, and was told that they wouldn't do any more testing that day. But who wants to know when I can go?


....


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The end of January. So far. How can they make me wait another two months to do more testing?? This really discourages me. I've been waiting for this appointment for four weeks or so, in hopes that I'll finally feel better... And now I have to wait two more months or so to get any more TESTS?? I can't eat now. I'm missing work. I am sick every day. I'm miserable.

I hate how they are making me wait. What if something really wrong was wrong with me?? I could be in big trouble by then.

*sighs* Ugh. I'm so... annoyed.

.....:( :( :(

I was once sick for 2 months straight, all the doctors told me was it was a bad case of the flu. It sucked because it went away for 2 weeks and came back after 2 months and I had it again for a few weeks.

Your case sounds a lot more severe. I would force myself to eat however I don't know if you can hold food down or not.

Best of luck I know the feeling, get better. ^_^

wow how could i miss this thread i had no idea u have been sick jo dawn. :( i hope that whatever it is. it is not life threatening or gets worse than it is now. i hope you feel better soon/ i hope you get your specialists answer sooner than january though keep calling and see if they can fit you in

I'm kinda with Duke in this situation... aside from this one month I was insanely sick (we're talking there were days I literally could NOT get out of bed because it hurt so much to move), my mom's had a few years of medical hell. Each new doctor thought they knew what it was, from it being 'in her head' to MS, to just a pinched nerve. The final result? Fibromyalga (misspelled that...). And just recently she's had some nasty blood clots in her legs, some more **** ups with her doctors. It takes it's toll pretty fast.

I hope they can figure out what's wrong with you... that's the first step. After that lets hope they can fix you :).

My mom got diagnosed with both MS and fibromyalga (sp?), but both those were later undiagnosed. Sometimes, people just don't seem to get the answers they seek, no matter how bad they want them.

JD, I really hope you feel better soon. You're in my prayers.

Thanks guys... I finally get to go to the specialist tomorrow... So wish me luck! I'll let y'all know how it went.


...Whether you want to know, or not!

So, I went to the specialist... The wait wasn't as bad as I thought... Only about an hour and a half, heh. They have a few 'ideas', but nothing concrete (most of which have really long names, and I cannot remember). He gave me a new medicine to try. More on that later.

I also found out that my blood pressure and pulse are extremely low.

But the medicine they gave me... I took it once, and I feel like I'm... ugh. I feel awful! Thus far, about 3 out of the 5 possible side effects. I'm miserable.

That, and I have to get two more tests done... But I have to wait until the end of January and February!!

I'm sorry your experiencing the side effects of the new medication, but hopefully it will be beneficial in the long run.

It sucks they could't give you a definate answer Jo :(

And I'm sorry to hear the medicine is making you feel bad as well.

Thanks guys. Yeah, the medicine was the WORST. Of course, my specialist isn't in until Tuesday. Family doctor said to NOT take those again, so I'm kinda back at square one. *sighs*

I'm so frustrated. And tiiired of being ill each and every day, food or not.

wow this sucks, i hope they find out whats wrong with you soon, this is terrible:x

Damn Jo, this is not good. Especially with Christmas :cry: With the wonders of modern medicine these days, it's strange that your illness can't be identified :( Just try and keep eating for us, okay? Maybe try something different to entice you to eat. Have some soup, or maybe a boul of Japanese style noodles. I don't know...just eat something a day a get better soon for us, m'kay? :) *hugs you tightly*

Thanks again, guys. *hugs*

Right now, I'm just trying to hang in there until my tests can be done (January 31 and February 7). A tad frustrated, yes. But I'm trying.

And, Ra, I am trying to eat. Truly. I can eat enough, that I've kind of hit a plateau with the weight loss. (Though all the fat that's left is decidedly still there!! Hehe. 'Cause I don't excersize, and I so should.)

Today was a bad day. I feel crappy, and I ate a piece of toast and part of a bagel. But, it's been worse. It's been better, too... But it's definitely been worse.

Thank you all, still, for your thoughts and caring. It truly helps me feel better knowing people care.

Its good to hear you are able to eat at least something now Jo :)

Yeah, how about that. I ate something little yesterday, I'm sick as all heck today.

Had plans today, so I can't even go out and enjoy them, or do anything on my day off. :cry:

Yippee. I'm freaking miserable.

Aww...Jo *hugs* At least you are eating, that's always a good sign. But getting sick like this a day after eatting a little bit of food? That's just horrible.

*hugs you again* Just hand in there. Only five more weeks and you can put this ordeal of going to the doctors behind you. Then no more doctors in your way. Just how long it takes to develop test results :cry:

And if you are miserable, just watch these little thing-a-ma-jigs

http://youtube.com/watch?v=RAG1tCRSA68
http://youtube.com/watch?v=mlQDZfctXEs

JUST SMILE ALREADY! :evil: :flaming: :P

I don't know what else to say. I guess I just hope you feel better this year than you did last year.

Well, some good news at last.

One of my tests has been moved up... to next Friday! So at least I can be one step closer to finding out what's wrong.

An ok day today... but bad the last two days (as in, I ate nothing but half a piece of toast and 5 popscicles in two days).

Smalling blessings.

What kinda popsicles are ya eating, JD? :)

Heh, mainly some orange and cherry. And I found an awesome thing; They make them clear so that they don't stain your teeth! (Yes, I know that I am easily amused. It's the little things, heh).

Oh, that's so cool. I didn't know they made them clear... is that some kind of name brand? I really like popsicles-- not cherry ones though!

I keep wondering if you could have something like plain (or maybe slightly sweetened) agar agar gelatin... smells like nothing, tastes very much like water.

Okay peoples... Tomorrow is my first 'big' test! (After a seemingly million 'little' tests, heh.) I'll be put out, so I'm not sure how I'll react to be here tomorrow.

Wish me luck!

I hope you studied. Ace it, and I'll mince some ice cream for you again. ^_^ But, seriously, tell 'em I said they had better find something wrong with you. I'd hate to have to have them audited. :evilgrin:

I don't usually come to this part of the forums, so I didn't know you weren't doing so hot, Jo. But I know now and I'd just like to say good luck with the tests. Here's hoping they figure out what's wrong so you can get better. You're in our thoughts!

Good luck for tomorrow Jo, I hope they can find some answers for you :)

Good luck with the test, Jo! Hope everything goes well.

Good luck! I'll have my fingers crossed (and my toes) :P

Good luck Jo! We'll all be here wishing you all the best, no matter what :)

I hope things have gone well today Jo. Really, I do. :(

Thanks guys! I'm just popping in for a moment for an update.

I'm home and mostly ok. Tired and sore and all that. Thus far, they have decided I have acid reflux and gastritis. They also biopsied my stomach to look for bacterial things. So that kinda hurts, heh.

Sadly, they want me to take the same meds I have been on, that haven't been working.

Anyhow, I'm off for now. I'll be back later to update a bit if I can.

Thank you all for the good thoughts. I still have one test to go in a few weeks. *hugs and kisses to you all*