A Thread Dedicated to Terrible, Horrible, Down Right Crappy Movies
 

As the title states this thread is dedicated to the films make you cringe. A thread for the likes of Gigli, anything by Ed Wood and Abraxas. (If you've never heard of the last one, then count yourself lucky, let's just say Jesse Ventura, Terminator Rip-off, and fight scenes with smooth jazz background music.)

To kick things off, here's an ad for a movie I'm sure would be a proud addition to this list. As some of you know I work behind the video counter at work on occasion, and we get a movie guide with the release schedules and ads for new movies. Along with ads for numerous sequels (Saw III, Open Water 2, because the first one was soooo good, and Walking Tall 2, with Kevin Sorbo replacing Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson) and the other crap came this gem, and by gem I mean steaming pile of excrement. What makes it all the worse is it stars actual known actors (but I guess so did Plan Nine, with Bella Lugosi, and several of the other crap films I have in my collection). Here it is: Devil's Den.

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y13...g?t=1168837778
(The Tagline says it all: "The final battle for the soul of mankind will be fought IN A BAR FULL OF POSSESSED STRIPPERS!")

I couldn't help but laugh as I read the synopsis. If it's too small I'll type it here:
Ahhh...that sounds like a winner. I'd consider watching it to laugh at just how bad it is, but I'm sure mommy wouldn't approve of some of the content.

:lol: Haha this topic is full of win! Abraxas. It's that sci-fi movie right? I think it was aired on space a few times.

Aside from all the MST3K movies I could list, Deep Blue Sea is easily one of the worst movies I've ever seen.

Yep.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abraxas...f_the_Universe

Yep that's the one. Wasn't there a sequel?

I saw some of Devil's Den... that's what happens when you fall asleep with the sci-fi channel on. It's as bad as advertised, and worse. But not as bad as the jaw-dropping horror of "From Justin to Kelly."

Wait...it was a made for TV movie...I could have sworn it hadn't been seen yet...kinda glad i didn't know it existed.

Oh...yeah I see now the date says 2007... but I coulda sworn... is there ANOTHER movie where dumb travellers visit a she-demon-infested establishment in Mexico?! I guess maybe that's an irresistible theme. :lol:

Must be. What was that Decoys movie about? (That is also getting a DtV sequal.)

Hahahaha, that Devil's Den flick sounds like something I need to see, because I enjoy trash movies a lot.

Among the worst-yet-awesome films you can expect to hear the name "Troma" sooner or later, so I'll be the first one to name them here. Who could forget the awesomeness that is the Toxic Avenger and immortal film titles like "Surf Nazis must die"? Up the same alley are the MST3K-Films, first and foremost "Manos - the Hands of Fate", which is a movie I tremendously enjoyed. And then there's another classic: Spanish SciFi-trainwreck "Accion Mutante" in which a couple of militant deformed retards take their revenge upon the beautiful of the future. Amazing movie, I tell you.

A downright bad movie is "Mars Attacks". Lots of stars, lots of big advertising and the film is just bad. Story's dull, the jokes stupid and the aliens are just idiots. Then there's the new Miami Vice flick. Sure, it's more or less true to the original, but have you ever seen such a huge amount of ego-masturbation in two hours? You get a bit of story, then you see them doing something tremendously cool for half an hour, such as driving a speedboat to get a drink in Cuba.

Decoys was about aliens posing as college chicks.

Come to think of it, "Dusk Til Dawn" was about some guys stranded in a vampire saloon in Mexico, too. There's just something about Mexico... :)

Hey... I liked Mars Attacks. I enjoy the idea of Tom Jones music as a weapon of mass destruction!

Hulk. That movie still gives me nightmares.

I've heard Manos is awesome(ly bad). A friend of mine loves MST3K, and he says Manos is a must see....sadly I haven't....and I've seen a lot of crap-cinema.

Manos is horrible (one word: Torgo!), and while it's usually considered the best MST3K episode, I wouldn't say it's the worst movie they ever riffed.

My favorite episode of MST3K after Manos is Warrior of the Lost World; horrible movie combined with great riffing.

Well... technically, wasn't that movie an intended parody? It was directed by Tim Burton after all, so it couldn't have been that deadly serious like "Independence Day" for instance.

And "Surf Nazis Must Die" has its moments of awesomeness, but in overall, it's very, very boring.

Anyone see the cinematic dumb that is "Santa Conquers the Martians." Man that's a bad film (what's sad is most of these bad movies i own...:P)

Is it okay to put up the names of all the crappy sequals Disney has been dishing out lately? :P

Well, I have been fortunate to see nearly no crappy movies in my short lifespan, but the one which I will always remember in my mind as "CRAP" will have to be "Ice Age 2: The Meltdown". The first one was okay, but the second one left me with that feeling. You know, the "WTF" feeling. It's probably just me, but shmeh *shrugs*

As that is an MST3K movie, yes I've seen it. I think it sometimes actually gets played on TV in December (the actual movie, not the MST3K version), which is just scary and wrong.

I actually bought the non MST3K version....for around $2.00 at K-Mart.

Everyone should give "Mac and Me" a try. It's an E.T. ripoff sponsored by McDonalds and Coca Cola.

Hehe, Mac and Me... I remember that.

As for MST3K Bad-Goodness... The best episode ever is The Final Sacrifice.

HAHAHAHA! "Mac is sick!" "Quick give him a Coke!" F*cking hilarious. I used to be scared sh*tless of Mac's parents. Tall, nude, huge heads and poppy eyes. Between Coca Cola as a life source and how creepy the aliens look in that movie, A+.

I may have to find this one...:P Maltin gave it *1/2...that's pretty low.

While we're talking about Mac and Me... Yes, the film is pretty bad.

Another crappy movie that is actually quite enjoyable due to its trash-factor: Double Dragon. I especially love the name Geistman.

AHHHHAHAHAHA!!! Oh my dear lord. I have it watch that now. I know I have the VHS around here somewhere.

I went to see the Italian Job once and there were no seats so our tickets didn't go to waste we ducked into the next theater over...the movie was Dumb and Dumber-er god that was terrible.

Robots was also unbearably bad, but I saw that by choice so I could make fun it with some friends*Cheap theaters*

Alexander...I don't know what Stone was thinking when he made this piece of **** but it was so bad I wanted to walk out, I don't know what kept me there. I had paid to see a movie and I already wasted enough of my life on it I guess I had to see the stupid disappointing ending.

I could list more I'm sure but those are the stand outs.

Mac and me.. I loved that movie as akid.. Want to own it on Dvd just for teh sheer greatness of how crappy it is.

Here's a great crappy movie.

Street fighter. :lol: Awesome bad movie.. So funny I laughed how bad it is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wZ9nCu8_4c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7IJ8cz292k

Two movies my roomates watch last night....Eurotrip and Beerfest.

They have the worst taste in movies, obviously. I could hear the movies playing from my room and...holy sh*t it was annoying the hell out of me.

What??? That movie was great!

Nooooo way! When the best moment of a movie is Samuel L. Jackson being eaten by a shark, you are NOT looking at a good movie! LL Cool J managed to make the movie tolerable, but otherwise it was Jurassic Park underwater and not in a good way.

Hmmm, since you are all talking about shark movies, I thought Jaws Revenge really sucked, especially compared to the first one!

What about listing movies that aren't crappy, but they were so disturbing, you can't bring yourself to watch it again?

Here's one, Jarhead. That part where the dude gets a videotape of his favourite movie from his wife, only to have it turn into a homemade porno of her and the next door neighbor...damn. There was just this ridiculously tense quietness in the theater. Something I've never experienced before in my life. That was really disturbing to me. I can't watch that movie anymore because of it.

Oh, I know a crappy and disturbing movie. Showgirls. Saw two seconds of it and turned it off ASAP!

I couldn't stand Jarhead...just kinda boring to me.

Here are a few reviews I wrote for some of the worst movies I've ever seen:

Traxx

Troll 2

Rock 'n Roll Nightmare

Leprechaun 2


Other honorable mentions:

Yor, Hunter of the Future
R.O.T.O.R.

Dude, love your reviews. I enjoy reading horrible movie reviews and you've got that special something that makes reading them very entertaining. I ask for more.

Haha I gota see Rock n’ Roll Nightmare now. That looks like everything lame about that genre of music back then all rolled into one thing.

YES! Finally, I meet someone who agrees with me. I was forced to watch the entire thing through computers. Everyone was laughing their heads off except for me...thank god I had a music lesson then... *shudders*

Another one I had just thought of the other night was "Over the Hedge". Yeah, I just hate pure CGI main-stream movies that are meant for kids :lol: It just seemed a bit...dry, I guess. A few of the gags were okay, but other than that, I should have been using my time drawing or making paper hats for people. Besides, any movie with the voice of Avril Lavine in it just HAS to be bad in my opinion :dead:

YES! That's about as funny as the scene where the main character rolls off a HUGE cliff in his wheelchair.