Wish Crusher
 

A friend told me about this game. It's called "Wish Crusher" for a very good reason. First you must make a wish. For example...

The person who posts next must then make this wish come true (or semi-true), making it crushing to the wish caster (physically and/or emotionally). Example...

The person who crushed the wish will then make their own wish, which in turn will get crushed, and so on.

Got that? Yes? No? Too bad, we're starting.
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I wish I could fly...

Wish granted! You just got sucked by the left engine of a Jumbo Jet!

I wish I were a pop star.

Wish granted! You were just trampled to death by obsessive fangirls trying to get a piece of you for some twisted scrapbook they're creating!

I wish I was a millionare.

Granted, when you try to dive into your pool of gold coins you break your neck. You are now paralyzed from the neck down.

I wish I had a giant statue of myself that rose into space.

WISH GRANTED! But it's so high that the face is melted by the sun, and molten rock falls upon you, concealing your grave for eternity. On top of that, no one can recognize the statue from then on, since it has no face.

I wish I had cancer.

Wish granted. However, after winning the long battle with cancer, you die a meaningless death by choking on a twinkee while watching Saturday Morning Cartoons.


I wish I was little bit taller,
I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a girl who looked good
I would call her
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
and a '64 Impala

(Am I doin it rite?)

(Hellz yeah. You're going fine.)

You suddenly grow twenty feet and bash your head through the roof of your house, with the sudden power to give painful birth to bouncing baby balls. However, you do have some nice bling-bling hanging from your neck. Niiice.

A girl who looks simply marvelous suddenly lands in your arms, but is deathly afraid of giants, so she runs screaming away from you in terror before suffering from a heart attack.

Watching her running off into the distance, heartbroken, you notice a gansta bunny driving a '64 Impala wearing a gansta hat and a holding a baseball bat pulls up. It sees you, and decides that you are not meant for this world since you are so frickin' tall. He climbs up your long hairy leg, into your pants, and then proceeds to whack your crown of jewels violently. You realize the moral of the story - gansta bunnies are serious business.




Oh, how I wish I could be a park ranger.

Wish granted, but, whats that behind the bushes. Its a bear! It attacks you, leaving you horribly scarred both physically and mentally.


And he took your pik-a-nick basket.



I wish, I wish, I had a fish.

Wish granted! You go out fishing and catch a fish! Sadly for you, the fish has a giant shark for a friend. Have fun trying to get your arm back.

I wish I could be a superhero...

Wish granted! You fly around the world to celebrate your new powers but you don't see the plane heading towards you and splat onto their windshield like a giant superhero bug.

I wish I could re-order time and space...

Granted, but on your first re-ordering you accidently erase your existence by putting a bear in Rosa Parks' seat.

I wish Futurama was still on the air with new episodes.

Wish granted! You watch one of the new episodes, but while airing, someone gets drunk and scews up the episode.

I wish I had more money.

Granted! You win $2.50 at the lottery!

I wish I could raise the dead.

Wish granted! However, you find that raising the dead proves hazzardous to your health when the person you brought to life bit you and you become a zombie.

I wish my hair would stop turning grey...

Granted, Your hair is now a delightful rainbow clown color.

I wish I had glasses...

Damn. If I'd have been here sooner I would've said, "Wish granted. You are now Skee-Lo. The end."

Wish granted. You can now see better, but you have been transported to Montana where nothing is there and the libraries have been burnt down.

I wish I was immortal.

Wish granted. Now there's that Scottish freak with a huge sword after you, yelling "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!" once in a while. And soon you lose your head.

I wish I was KROW.

Wish granted! You manage to find your stapler, but it ends up being broken.

I wish Basura didn't have to leave on tonight's episode of Who Wants to Be a Superhero?

Wish granted. But you never get to see the final episode of "Who Wants to Be a Superhero?" since the studio burns down.

I wish I could have a burrito...

Granted, you bite in to the burrito and it begins to scream hysterically.


I wish I had a car (VW beetle. thank you, please).

Wish granted. But the car is cursed and runs you over whenever you try to get into it. Ouch.

I wish I could fight.

Wish granted. As you walk out of school, the bully goes to jump on you, you try to punch him, but he punches you first, knocking you out. When you wake up, you're in the hospital.


I wish I was funny...



(Am I doing it right?)

(Looks fine to me.)

Wish granted. However, your humor doesn't appeal to everyone and you proceed to get hate mail until you decide to stop telling jokes.

I wish I could do whatever the hell I want.

Granted, you proceed to do whatever the hell you want, however it is not to everyone elses tastes and you are lynch mobbed. Torches, pitchforks, the whole 9 yards.

I wish Swany had made a wish

Granted! But Swany's wish is so horrible, so stuipd, and so impossible to grant that the world implodes on itself. Nice going guys. You've just doomed life as we know it.

I wish I had more time on my hands...

Granted! You are framed for a murder, sent to Jail, got into a fight and put into solitary confinement. You now have lots of time on your hands!

I wish I had more initiative.

Granted, But now the Homeless are ganging together and eventually overtake the world by using Bindle-tech to overthrow America Online.

I wish TNA Wrestling would go out of buisness.

sure, ok. But you get so excited about the next thing that takes its place that you forget about everything else in your life, then one day, you wake up and you are this old balding man standing in the front row, watching two guys knock themselves silly, in a venue that is no better than TNA....but it is too late to get back that lost time and you slowly run your fingers over well worn piece of paper in your pocket....something you've held onto for who knows how long...and it starts off: "Dear Stryker....I never thought I'd be writing this to you, but things have changed between us. Sometimes I think you care more about wrestling than me..." :o :o :o :o


um...I wish I had some orange juice....

Granted...but the orange juice is simply that - orange colored juice. You throw a fit and demand some REAL orange juice before your disturbed neighbors call the police and put you in a holding cell for a week.

I wish I could have better smelling breath.

I wish I had a motorcycle like Nightwatcher's

ok. you get your bike and you take it out on the track. a practice run before you actually have to make it mean something. you're in the final turn and you can see the finish line when some wingnut tries to pass you and clips your rear tire. The bike high sides and you go skidding in one direction and the bike goes in the other. the guys behind you on the track swerve to avoid hitting the bike but run over you instead, crushing your ribs. all you feel is one sharp pain in your head and nothing more.


I wish that it would rain.

Granted! But now the world is being flooded by water. Everyone is drowning, animals and plants are going into hysterics, and the balance of nature has been forever disrupted. On the plus side, everyone gets their own pools now.

I STILL wish I could have better smelling breath!

you got it...but your fresh and minty breath attracts ALL guys to you thus causing you problems with his bulliness AND the girlfriends of all the guys that can't keep their minds off one little kiss from you. you spend your life on the run, dodging angry mobs of the female type and enamored male types who constantly throw themselves at your feet begging for a taste of the freshest breath EVER.


I wish I had somebody here with me.

Granted. I appear in fumes at your place, in all my decadent glory. Now you can start begging for mercy.

I wish Ra could have better smelling breath.

Granted! You smell her breath and it has the smell of raw steak.

I wish school wasn't starting in a week.

Granted, It starts tomorrow.

I wish I was as cool as Milano Collection AT

Granted, you are exactly the temperature of the Japanese professional wrestler.

I wish my sunburn would stop peeling.