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Anyone here a Father?
So, me an my Fiance are expecting are first child in the coming months. I am feeling just about every emotion you could possible feel, and then some. I was just wondering what any dad's on here experieced when their first child was born? How were the first few months? What and how did it change in your life? Share.:)
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I've been trying to organize my thoughts one this and it is a lot harder than I thought it would be. When I first found out my wife was pregnant all of the emotions were there, but I was more happy then anything else. During the early parts of the pregnancy there wasn't much for me to do, she was still able to do everything and i was just along for the ride. I did go to every doctors apt. and was there for support. Later in the pregnancy my job became to help get everything together for the new baby, which wasn't hard, and help my waddling wife get up and around. From my experience there isn't much guys do from the beginning of the pregnancy to when the baby is 3 months old. That is from my stand point I never really talked to my wife's belly or fawned over all of the baby stuff, but I swelled with pride the day my son was born. Again from my stand point the first few months were being there for moral support. My wife did the feeding/nursing and I helped with diaper changes, but really all the new one did was eat and sleep and both he did with my wife. I will tell you that your life will not get thrown into chaos the moment your kid is born, it will be an adjustment but a slow one that will gradually become your life. I hope this helps a little and if you have any questions, concerns, or just need an ear to listen just shoot me a message. My wife and I just had our fourth at the end of august so I'd to think that I have some knowledge on the subject. |
Thanks for the reply dude. Yeah, I'm pretty much in the same position. I just help he get up out of bed and the car and I took the couch so she has the bed to herself. That's about it. I'm more concerned with the money part than anything but I have worked my butt off to make sure we have everything we need. And we do, for the most part. Hopefully she will get most of the smaller stuff from her baby shower.
But the pregnancy really has flown by. It seemed like just yesterday she told me and we are reaching her due date quickly. It's crazy. Sometimes I still gotta pinch myself because I still can't believe it! But I guess I'm more excited than anything for my little one's arrival. It's gonna be weird.:) |
Wow, I just checked your profile and you're only 23. You're going to be a young dad. :)
I can't see myself having kids until my late 20's personally, but congrats. |
That's around the age I had my first one.
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hey I thought this was a cute little clip. Kids are growing up so fast.
whether you are having a girl or a boy you don't want your little one growing up too fast! |
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My daughter's 4.
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For you guys having kids at such a young age, how did you get financially stable to do it? Was this pregnancy planned?
My parents had me when they were 25, so that was a little after both were done with College. |
If people waited until they were "financially stable" to have a kid, there would be very few kids.
As someone who was an "accident" of parents who weren't planning on having kids, sometimes fate has different ideas than your plans. No matter what age you are, as long as you love your kid, you'll figure it out. |
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Take pictures and video its amazing. First 1-4mths or so is just feed, change, sleep<--- easy stuff When they crawl walk and talk... thats when havoc ensues but its all well worth it. My son tore up a comic So I bagged it and kept so i can show him later after he starts collecting comics (hopefully). A baby changes everything but doesnt everything change? Always give him and the momma love, and push your kid to do better than you did. not saying that you havent done good for yourself (i dont know you) but I will always want my son to overcome my accomplishments and do bigger and greater things. |
"Financially stable" is an abstract thought today. It just doesn't exist. Being ready for a child is more than just having money to pay for medical and physical care. You need to be prepared to mentally, physically, and emotionally tend to the baby's needs. Like the saying goes, "Having a child doesn't make you a parent."
I became a father too early in my life, but I was able to care for my child in each facet of responsibility. Now, I can proudly say that I raised my son well and continue to do so. He's a well-rounded 13-year-old who's taking advanced classes in school and passing them with an "A" average. He doesn't cause trouble in or out of school, he's not thinking about girls (yet), and loves being with family. His only flaws are that he's lackadaisical in doing house chores and plays video games too much. So he's a good egg. I can say that through the first months after he was born, I had more trouble with his mother than him. A baby is pretty much routine once you get used to it. Have about 4 bottles of milk/formula in the fridge ready to be warmed when you go to bed at night. Prepare to wake up at 2, 3, or 4am to feed and/or change. Hold, burp, play during the waking hours and try not to express anger or frustration in the baby's presence. And yes, once crawling and walking is learned, prepare to chase! Being a parent can be fun if you're in the right mind. |
Yes, you can never fully be ready for your first child when he/she comes. Both of mine were planned, meaning my wife and I decided to stop using birth control and attempt to have a baby. other than stocking up on baby supplies, that's about as much planning as you can really do.
I remember when my first son was born. The Dr. took him away for a few hours so they could clean him up and run the usual tests and what not, also to give us a few hours of sleep. The Dr. came by three hours later and handed us our son. My first thought was, "WOW, I cant believe I have a baby! what the hell do I do now!" They don’t give you any training, you don’t need a license to own one, its just yours. I remember the very strong feeling of, "OMG here is this fragile little life and it depends on ME to educate it and care for it. I barely take care of myself." Its very intense. After that initial phase though (as long as you're motivated, dedicated, and realistic) its not that hard. Instinct kicks in. I now have two kids, 5 and 1.5 (both TMNT fans already!!) and they are AWESOME!!! Enjoy each and every day...even the midnight feedings where you get to cuddle your child (a truly great bonding experience), those days fly by. My kids are hilarious, they are the brightest part of my day. Just remember, they are little sponges. Whatever you say or do they will soak it up and use it, so make sure to BE a good example. two good pieces of advice i can give are to get the book, "what to expect the first year". It is the closest thing to an insturction manual there is. It has loads of great knowledge that will help you out when you aren’t sure what to do. tip two, when those moments come where the kid is screeching crying and nothing you do helps and you start feeling really frustrated (believe me, moments like this will come quite a few times), just lay the baby down in the crib and walk away for a few minutes to get a drink of water and collect yourself. when you come back to tend to the baby you will feel better and ready to provide the nurturing he/she needs. other than that...congrats! |
What can I say, other than thanks so much to everyone who posted their experiences and advice. It means the world to me. Plasticplayhouse, I will check out that book. Thanks!
Oh and Cybercubed, this baby was not a mistake. We have been together for 8 years and we decided we wanted to start a family early. We are both working and earning, and more importantly, we are mature enough and ready for this.:D |
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hey all you soon to daddies on here is something to boost your parenting egos:
http://www.whattoexpect.com/toddler/...29142#/slide-1 sometimes Daddies aapproach is the best approach (but I think some daddies already know that ;) ) |
Wow, 23 is a good age. I became a father at 33 myself.
I can't really add anything that Krow hasn't already summed up. As azrael said, take pictures and video. Do as much as possible when the baby is small as they don't stay very small for very long. You can kiss normal sleep patterns goodbye, but you adapt. We all do. ===HERO |
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And gotta say thats pretty cool! I kind of wish I could have done something like that, but I was immature that age and so were most girls in my class Oh and CyberCube remember Sam is to "Legit to Quit" He maybe young but I have feeln he make a pretty good dad ;) Congrats again Sam |
Best of luck to you and your significant other, Sam. I'm sure you'll make a great dad. Be sure to introduce the little one to TMNT.
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So, this is our 4th day home with our little critter and what can I say, IT'S HARD. Being up every hour, feeding, changing diapers. It's all so very hard and with lack of sleep it's like 10 times harder. Much respect to all you parents out there that had to go through all this, I hope it gets a little better. |
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Jester, congrats?
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Yes, I've been kinda quiet about it because I tend to be a little private, but my wife is due around late July/Early August. Our baby may share a birthday with daddy. :D |
Congrats Jester!
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AHH!! Congrats, Jester!! :D :D
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Congrats Jester!
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Thanks everybody.
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Congrats, Jester. I'm so happy for you.
And, Sam, congrats to you, too. |
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Well, my daughter is about to turn 20 months old. I can't tell you everything I've went through, because it will take up a LOT of space, but here goes a little bit:
Don't freak out if your baby falls off a bed, etc onto their head. Babies are VERY resilient (I wrote a post about it on my blog). Well, freak out if they pass out after, but for the most part, they are extremely injure resistant. Don't expect to have much free time after the baby's born. It may differ between parents, but I have almost no free time. I have to stay up at night just to do some things I want to do. That little baby will melt your heart no matter what they do. Take videos and pictures of everything they do now, no matter how mundane, because even just a year later you'll look back on the tapes and wonder how they got so big so fast. Savor EVERY moment. One day they'll be crawling, or walking sideways with help of a couch or something, but literally the next they'll be running. You'll be amazed at how fast they learn/master new things. When that child kisses or hugs you, it's amazing. There are SO many things that will change, but everything is worth it everytime you see their face. Enjoy every second. Time really does fly by. |
Thanks for the tips! Right now, sleep is the only problem. It's starting to get harder to fall asleep when I can because I know I'm gonna have to be up in 2-3 hours. It sucks.
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Don't worry Samhain... sheer exhaustion will set in at some point and you'll be able to sleep anywhere at any time. :D ;)
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