What Do You Live For?
 

Other than family, that is. What makes you want to get up & seize the day? Do you have an end goal? Are you waiting for something? What makes you feel whole other than other people?

It's a little difficult for me answer without mentioning other people because they do mean a lot to me.

But in the short term, I'm taking a class soon that will hopefully lead to working in a field that I've been wanting to for a while now. I'm pretty excited for that, honestly.

Other than family, I want to go into graphic design. I'll do a self-published comic. Then, I hope to get to Marvel and draw comics.

I'm not really sure, to be honest. I guess that there just seems to always be something that makes me not want to die anytime soon. Of course, family is the first thing that comes to my mind. But there's also simple things such as a new drink, a new video game, a new store, etc. I'd like to, at least, finish my backlogs and my bucket list. Don't have a dream or anything, but I have some goals. Currently, I'm in university, so there's something I need to finish.

I'm gonna sounds incredible pretentious and say, I live for art.

This guy:
https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/hphoto...84&oe=5678B0BB

EDIT: Who didn't read the 1st post? THIS GUY!!! But to be fair, I could probably give almost anything up...but that kid is my life.

Now I know you said besides family but my 3 sons are my life love them to bits. all I really want is to watch them grow guide them be there for them in need and the rest. just cant bear life without them.

I have a drive to succeed and feel accomplished. I've been working hard towards my education and career and just knowing my plan for the future is extremely satisfying.

Plus, I like stuff. I'm definitely a stuff person.

I'd have to say writing is my life. It's something I've always loved, and always wanted to do. My dream would be to write comics for a living, but as long as I can still hold a pen or use a keyboard, I will keep writing. It's my joy and passion.

I didn't. I was gonna put family, but nope.

It varies from day to day - some days are better than others. On the rougher days, I just focus on the small pleasures, rather than worrying about the big picture.

Besides family....

I mean, everything I do is for my family. I always want to do more, be better, be the best. I want everyone in my family to have everything they want and need. Working hard and earning respect at work, giving 150% so that when anyone thinks of who the best person for the next job is, I'm the name on the top of the list.

It's the only way that I can make my family proud of me. All the stress, all the long hours, all the years of school....it's all worth it if it allows me to take care of the people in my life.

The future of the world. I'm being serious, I'm fascinated by how the world changes every decade. The 80's and 90's are so different than today and I can't imagine what the world will be like 10-20 years from now.

The change in technology is fascinating. Sometimes I feel like we're living in the future. We have a computer in the size of our pocket for goodness sakes (phones), and now people can have robotic limbs, we have computers that talk to us, we have all the information in the world at the palm of a finger (the internet), the entertainment industry continues to push forward more and more, etc.

The mere fact that we may also find cures for cancer and various diseases in our lifetimes, a cure for blindness or being deaf, and might actually see man land on Mars or build a space station on the Moon is fascinating.

I don't think all of that will happen in the next 10-20 years, though. Especially not the landing on Mars thing. We still have a long way to go when it comes to developing good enough technology to travel in space.

As for cures for cancer and HIV... that could have happened already. In fact, every year there's a newspaper article or something stating that a cure for those diseases has been found or is being developed. The pharmacy industry just simply doesn't allow those diseases to be eliminated, because that means less money for them.

The alternative of getting out of the bed and live my life to the fullest is just toooooooo boring :P

Reasons for me other than family and my cat:
Reading cool fantasy books, eating delicious things and try to tan as much as possible.

(I am almost vampire white. My doctor finally found the reason why and now I can sunbathe like everyone else! YAY! :D)

I honestly don't know. I do know I'd never put friends or family, as in my experience how much people care about you is directly related to what they can get out of you. When you work 6-7 days a week and make it clear that no, you can't just take off work to go to the bar or the beach because you have responsibilities, people stop taking your phone calls pretty quick. As for family... in mine there's the rich side and the poor side. The rich side doesn't talk to anyone who's not rich, and the poor side only ever talks to me to see if I have any money for them, or if I can help them move, or some other "favor", never ever just to say hello or see how I'm doing. So I'd never, ever say I "live for" friends and family because in my experience they're parasites. Not that I don't "care" about them, I do and I care that they are well. I just don't "live" for them and they're not a particularly big part of my life.

At this point I guess work. That's really all I do, work and play some video games before bed. After struggling for years to get to do a job I actually like doing it feels great to do something positive that really makes a difference in people's lives. Just yesterday I got one of my clients to sign up for our gym's nutrition program, and during the pre-screening interview he mentioned that he's about to have another kid but is really scared that he won't be able to be active with them because he keeps gaining weight as he gets older. It's important to me that I have an opportunity to help people fix themselves, be healthier, and live better. It's very rewarding work that I do, although it should pay a lot more than it does given the fact that our country's in a seriously bad state as far as obesity and nutritional pollution. It kind of bothers me that services like mine are still considered to be something of a "luxury expenditure", when half the country is obese and frankly, if people could get themselves in better shape on their own, they would have already. But it does pay pretty well and emotionally and spiritually it's very rewarding. I never feel like my day was a waste.

So I guess work, and the fact that I still feel like I haven't peaked yet.

I live for the moment. :) Not in the crazy sense like "YOLO I'mma do all this crazy stuff!" No. I just flow and let things happen, and usually I'm pleasantly surprised by joy. Other times, crap happens lol but then it's over and I move on.

I'm a bit like that as well. Wouldn't say I live for the moment per se, though. More like things happen and I adapt to the situation and try to make something out of it.

That's good too :)

Sometimes if I try to make the most of something, I'll develop an expectation of some sort for my efforts, and that could be a letdown when things don't go how you wanted. So I try not to try...as paradoxical as that may sound lol

I live for myself mostly. I enjoy writing so that always brings a smile to my face when I can write a good story and see people react to it. I do live for my BF, too, and some members of my family (my brother and mom mostly) and that's about it really.

Other than my family (not the family I have or was born with, but the family I've MADE, both in blood and in spirit), story is what drives me. Whether I write them, or enjoy them as TV, books, comics, or movies, that's what my passion is and what I get excited about.

Family aside, I'd have to go with art in general. I like to do both, drawing and writing. Otherwise, eh, I don't really have my future mapped out.

I used to want to make my family proud of me, too, but I've come to learn that at the end of the day, it's about what I want in life and not about them. As long as I'm happy with what I do and who I'm with, that's all that matters. I don't need to make them happy or please them with anything I do. I tried that, and all it did was put unwanted pressure on me to please them and I don't need that. I need to be happy with what I want and if they don't like it, too bad. At the end of the day, it's not about them, it's about what all of us want in life and not about making them happy.

I'm all for taking care of family members as long as they appreciate you, but if they don't, then there's no point to it. I'll be willing to take care of my mom, but to hell with my dad. I don't care about him or what happens to him anymore. He's just a selfish prick who doesn't care about anyone but himself, so screw him.

I don't do it for just anything. I do it because I am literally the only means of support for multiple family members. It's absolutely my duty to take care of them. I've been blessed with great success in my life. I'm not going to be a selfish b!tch and not help them out if they need it.

If my bills are paid and I've got food, I'm not going to sit on my leftover cash when I have family who can't afford to pay their mortgage or put food on their table.

I don't have kids. I can't have them. My only way of making good on my family name is to give 110% every day and be the very best of anything I do. Too many people depend on me for me to just sit idle and figure things aren't my problem.

So, every morning when that alarm goes off at 5:30, I get up because if I don't, it's not just my life that is put in jeopardy. I literally work for everyone in my life so my whole family is better off.

Whether or not they appreciate it or thank me for it means absolutely nothing to me. My satisfaction comes from everyone having what they need. They could treat me like sh!t and I'll still give them anything they need. That's what family means to me.

Terrorizing online forums.

Hey, I'm not saying you shouldn't support your family if they need it, but to me, if they don't appreciate you for what you do, then there's no point in giving them what they want. I certainly wouldn't do it if it was me. It's one thing if they're grateful and appreciative, but if a family member treats me like sh*t, I'm not going to bother helping them out at all until they learn to show gratitude. And if family members ARE treating you that way, then that's awful of them to do that when you're working your a** off to try and be nice and help them out. And if they aren't treating you horribly, then that's great because they shouldn't. But if they do, maybe you should remind them about how hard you work and that if it wasn't for you, they wouldn't have anything at all. That's what I would do.

My family loyalty only runs so deep.

Doing things like what I do is never about expecting thanks and gratitude. It's simply about doing what is right.

If I was unemployed or underemployed and had to live at home with my parents, I'd recognize someone was supporting me and I'd be grateful. That's no different than what I'm doing. I'm sure those I help realize they can't live their lives without me, but I wouldn't cut them off from my support just because they don't constantly thank me, kiss my a$$, and give me recognition. That's mean as hell and not being a good person. It'd be like in the scenario where I lived at home and my parents suddenly decided to kick me out. Where would I go? What would I do? I don't make enough to support myself, what if no one else felt like taking me in? It'd be evil of me to do that to a family member.

Half of them I barely see or hear from. They live all over the country. As long as they are ok and have food and a roof, I don't need thanks. It's just my responsibility to take care of them. Just like I would a child who wasn't working.

That's my life. I live to serve.

I'm afraid I'm with Bubbly on this one. There's a difference between having family loyalty, and being taken advantage of and/or treated like a doormat and a meal ticket. Some family just are not worth the effort. Loyalty is one thing, but when they start expecting it just BECAUSE you're family, that when it's time to sever the ties and use "tough love" so that they learn how to survive on their own. It's not mean, it's NORMAL. It's basic survival- if they can't make it on their own without constant hand-outs, they need to be in some kind of home or someplace that will either teach them how to make it on their own, or will provide long-term care if they can't. Pretty simple really.

Also, there are some family who, for whatever reason, will always act as if you are there just to make THEIR lives easier, or as if your life should revolve around them for- reasons. These are people who are manipulative, who like to guilt-trip family into doing things for them, or who are controlling in various ways- and they don't DESERVE your time or help. They are parasites, preying on the good will and loyalty of family, just to get what they want. I have family members like that, and I'd wager so do most people. Cutting these types of family off is not mean, it's an act of self-preservation and removing toxic individuals from our lives. It hardly matters that they're related to us- they are still just as bad as anyone else who tries to take advantage of someone's good will!

Not doing it for guilt or recognition, doing it because I want to. That's not being a doormat, that's being kind to someone who does not have the means to support themselves.

You say they should be in a home somewhere if they are adults and can't support themselves? I bet there are quite a few adults here who cannot support themselves and live at home with parents

All I want is my family fed and cared for. Because I can and because I love them and it's the right thing to do. Certainly it's ideal for adults to support themselves, but if I'm very well off and some in my family aren't, I want to do what I can for them. I want to. Not have to. Not guilted to. And not because I'm asked to. Because I can. And because I want to.

I was referring to adults who are literally incapable of supporting themselves either physically or mentally, as opposed to those who simply "can't" because "reasons". In the former case, they likely need the kind of professional care that no family (and especially family who is miles away, as it seems is true in your case from what you posted) can give on a regular basis. In the latter case, they need to learn how to make their own living, even if that means being "mean" or whatever. I'm sorry, but by continuing to provide for their keep long-term just because YOU feel it's the right thing to do, all it does is make you an enabler. Which is actually NOT what they really need. I've seen too much of that sort of thing not to know it when I see it.

I've had to live with family myself before, but it was TEMPORARY, and I got the heck back out as soon as I could. If they are "unable" to care for themselves, one has to wonder why. Without knowing their situations, I can't say for sure, but it sounds like family moochers, and Goddess knows my family has its share of those, so I know what that is like. Being the saint who provides for everyone is not only bad for them, but it's draining on yourself, as well, taking responsibility for people who should (if they're adults as you seemed to indicate) be able to take care of themselves. They aren't your responsibility, family or not. So why exactly DO you want to be their caretaker? Smells a bit like martyrdom, to me. Because I can almost guarantee that if the roles were reversed, at least some of them probably wouldn't have the same kind of family loyalty and altruism that you've given them. Unless they're all saints, too, which I kind of doubt.

I guess at the end of the day, it's your prerogative, but honestly, as a human being with needs and feelings of my own, I would NOT continue to be so kind-hearted to ANYONE who takes advantage of my good will repeatedly. I don't do it for friends, and I wouldn't do it just because I share blood with someone, either. Because even family doesn't deserve that kind of selfless love and concern when they've given little or nothing in return. In fact, with some of the folks whom I have the misfortune of being related to, what they really deserve is a swift kick in the rear- right out the door.

And maybe the family members I'm helping need help for reasons just like adults who live with parents.

Like having to go on disability and not making enough to buy food and pay the bills. Like losing their job during the recession and not being able to find work. Like a death in the family and income is suddenly not there like it was. Like being a child who doesn't get what they need for school or have groceries at home unless family pitches in because although wic is available an food stamps are available, it just isn't enough.

I can't have 6 families live with me. I'd rather them stay where they are and be comfortable.

I mean, jeez. People b!tch about people being on public assistance and want families to take care of their own. And when someone admits that they do, they are shamed for supporting freeloaders.

Good old conservative values. Hold on to your money and let someone else feed the poor.....just don't put my taxes on it. I wanna keep my money.

I wish I could answer this. At this point I just don't know...If I were still back in the US, I'd have no choice but to live at home...lack of job security and how expensive apartments are.

I gotta commend you, Katie. From what i wa reading you do what you do for your family, not out of guilt, or wanting accolades, but because you feel it's what you as a person should do. No being a door-mat, but doing your level best to make sure your family can make it. It's admirable.

I do have one question: If someone DID seem to take it all for granted and continue making bad choices because you'd be there to bail them out, would you finally cave and say, "Enough! I've been here to help you but you've taken that for granted, now it's time for you to feel the pinch of your own poor choices!"?

Surely. I have Those in the family too. I don't support drug habits or able people who laze at home because that's easy. I buy groceries and help with mortgages. I'm a sucker for the kids. Kids should have a roof and food even if their parents can't seem to figure out money management.

Totally the answer I expected. Keep doing what makes you happy.

I can respect that if that's your situation, but speaking as someone who's been through plenty of hard times myself, I know that most people CAN do for themselves, if they really want to. I get by without WIC or food stamps just fine, even though I've been the ONLY income provider for myself and my husband (who turned 40 while in the hospital- where he found out he now has high blood pressure and kidney failure in addition to being diabetic and having a mid-foot amputation a little over a year and a half ago).

We live in a rent-controlled apartment, and visit the food bank once a month, but otherwise, no hand-outs or help from family or anyone else. And I've been doing that for nearly three years now. He just started getting disability a couple of months ago, but prior to that, I paid for ALL the bills, medication, food, and everything else, and only had family help out twice in that time- because most of our family has bills and problems of their own to take care of. And we've never once asked for their help- because we don't want to be dependent on anyone else for our home or health. And I do this all on a fast-food wage. So anyone who says they CAN'T do it, is just deluding themselves, IMHO.

But then again, you should feel very blessed that you're prosperous enough that you CAN do all that. I'd set my mom up for certain if I was in a position where that was possible, but there are other family members that can just bite me, because they're not worth that kind of assistance. Like pedophilic, bigoted pieces of human garbage who would rather try to bribe someone to leave their spouse than give said spouse any respect or concern, or irresponsible dead-beats who spend more time doing drugs and spending days away from home (to manufacture and sell said drugs) than take care of their own kids, and end up in prison for ten years. Or- well, you get the idea. I guess you're just really lucky in life.....

If I were to live for anyone, it would be my husband. Not because I don't care about my family, but because he has been there for me, when no one else was- including family. Other than that, it would be my mom, because I hate that she's in a situation where she lives under the belief that she's dependent on someone who is not even half the man she deserves. I've even offered to let her stay with us and share costs and space, but she is too afraid of losing her security to go for it. And that makes me sad. But it's her choice. But if I could, I'd help her get out of that marriage in a heartbeat.

I live for my music; both playing it and listening to it.

I've really not been that lucky. All my life has been hard hard work. I'm from a poor family. I've had plenty of no food days because the money was gone. Even as an adult I had plenty of those no food days. But I had to keep giving everything I had and more. And it's paid off.

All that hard work and struggling makes me appreciate where I am. But I never forget how hard it was growing up and trying to figure out how I was going to be better.

In life, you hope your children are better off than you are. It's your legacy in the world. As badly as I want children, as badly as I wanted to have that kind of legacy, it will never be. My only legacy is in my actions in this life. If I can pass on the fruit of my labor to help someone who is struggling, I'm going to do it. And when my life is over, hopefully it will have meant something to someone that I was here.

Hopefully some of the kids in my family will be more than they would have been...have more opportunity than I did....because I was able to give them a boost in life. I can only keep going. And keep hoping.

It's good that you worked hard for it, but what I mean is that you're lucky to have had that opportunity and to have succeeded as much as you have when many people never make it that far. You're lucky to have been able to have that hard work pay off, while many people work themselves to the bone their entire lives, and never have anything to show for it. SO yeah, you are very lucky indeed. Anyway, glad that it makes you happy.

As for me, family has always been a mixed bag. On the one hand, I'm grateful to my mom for helping me to be the person I am, and allowing me the opportunities to see so much more of what the world has to offer than most kids ever got to see- things like trips that broadened my experience and knowledge, books that helped me learn to love reading and knowledge, tolerance and understanding for people who were different, and just having someone to talk to when I needed it.

On the other hand, there are a few others whom I could take or leave, and one whom I actively despise for being the worst human being I've ever known. So I guess my views on family are somewhat tarnished by that, for good or bad, but it has taught me that family loyalty and concern is a two-way street, and if it's not reciprocated, then there's not much point in having it to begin with. I have my dad to thank for that.