controversial issues
 

This whole entire week for two hours i'm going to be stashed away in the school library researching. I thought this migh be an opportunity to see what some people on the Drome thought about the controversial issue I'm reading up on...plus i was pretty bored :P

Anyways my issue is homosexual adoptions. Do you think it would effect how the child is raised? in a negative way? a positive way? What are the laws about this in your current place of dwelling?

any information would be appriciated as well! :D

I don't think it would affect a child negativley at all.
(And I can't wait to see how long this gets reduced to some imature flame war.)

Eh, whatever. I don't frankly give a rat's butt what homosexuals do--as long as they are good citizens, I guess I have no problems. Besides, if a person wants kids and they are going to be good to them, why not let them adopt.

I don't think it would affect the child negativly at all either....

(actually GK...i guess I would be assuming to much if i assumed people could be serious about this and not turn it into a flame war...right? :roll: )

I don't see how it would affect the kid at all. It might make the kid more open minded if anything.

Gay couples have just as many problems as straight couples, they just get the added benefit of being a rather publicly hated group of people.

*beware of slightly old-fashioned-ism*
 

Hmm...

I know what I'm gonna say is gonna be a lil Politically incorrect, but I have to say it...I apologize in advance.



I'm not sure what to think honestly. yeah, some "open-Minded" people say ther;e's nothing wrong with it. However...

Kids always start with the small talk about Mommies and Daddies, early as 4. Having a child who's never had a "mom" or a "Dad", it can be a lil difficult for them.

In the Psychological sense, children who grow up without interaction with parents of both sexes can tend to have difficulties socially, emotionally, and at times even sexually.

In Middle school, I know that children can be particularly cruel. "oh youre one of the *** kids." or "He's got ******* for parents, maybe he'll become one too." That alone will mess with a child severely.

Look at the news, with attacks on people because of their sexuality. Gay killings, beatings and such. A child whose parents are Gays or Lesbians is going to be affected by this, no matter what you may believe or say.

I dont know who'll agree, disagree or try to flame me, but that is MY opinion. I am not bashing gays in any sort of way. Lots of people i know are homosexuals (my first crush was one, unfortunate for me, cuz i wanted to date him, dammit! :goofygri: ).

In an attempt to avoid any stance on the homosexuality issue in this case, I'm going to have to agree with Machias that this sort of thing could be damaging to a child. Kids can be really cruel. There's no doubt in my mind that a kid with same-sex parents could not go through childhood without being made fun of for having homosexual parents. The kid might then resent his parents because they are the cause of his ridicule. This could cause the child to grow up and dislike, even hate, homosexuals. Although I don't agree with what homosexuals do, I do respect their right to do their own thing. Different strokes for different folks, y'know? I think that homosexuals could make great parents, but I also think that a problem could arise outside the home that could affect the child negatively, despite what the parents do.

You have good points Michias, but how's that any diffrent than kids with mixed parents, or kids who live in poverty?

Or, as a better example, single parents who've had to raise their kids with out the other mother/father. My sister has 2 kids, and the dads only been there for one. both seem to be normal (but i'm not a psychologist). *shrug*.

I can't imagine the torment a child of gay parents would go through. IMO they shouldn't be allowed to adopt because of that.

I have to say, Machias has a point. But really, most of that is due to people's prejudice, and not how the children were raised. Kids will tease about anything, from hair color to glasses.

I certainly don't have a problem with it. No matter what "psychological effects" there would be from being raised by same sex parents, it's gotta be better than having no parents at all, or parents who don't really care.

Problems exist in every type of family. But as long as it's a good environment to grow up in, I don't see the problem. Would you rather these kids live in foster homes all their lives? Yeah, that'll lead to a well-adjusted individual.

I always wondered why people got so hung up on same-sex couples. The way I see it, the only reason you should have for caring about someone's sexuality is if you want to have sex with them...

*keeps one eye on this thread*

Well said.

People could argue for this and against it for 100 years. Maybe I'm just "closed minded" or old fashioned, but I will never agree with it no matter if it ever becomes legal.

It's nice to know there is someone who considers themselves "old-fashioned" besides me.

Many good points, Kali. I would rather see a stable same-sex couple than
a broken, and/or 'dangerous to the child' different-sex couple...

and yeh, I'll be keeping an eye on this thread too... :D

i personally have no problem with it at all. I think love of any kind is important, and children are resiliant. They bounce back from anything...so teasing isn't an issue---we've all been teased.

i think of the case in florida were a gay couple was foster parents for kids with hiv and aids...they wanted to adopt these kids....no one...and i mean no one...wanted to raise them...and the couple was not allowed to because of being gay.

they can raise them under the tile foster parent...but not parent? wth?

love....its what children need and wont most....from anyone they can get it from....why not two daddies or two mommies....the more the love the better!

Like it's already been stated....I think it would be perfectly fine as long as it is a stable loving home the child is going into. I would rather see a child go to a same-sex couple who can care for them correctly then the child stay somewhere that will damage them psychologically or emotionally. I say whatever is best for the child!

That's the key issue here. It's not so much about gay rights as it is what is best for the child. It should be case by case as to whether or not the adoption is in the best interest of the child.

I don't see anything wrong. I thing homosexuality is one of the last big leaps in discrimination that has to be made in this country (Not to say we've fixed everything with racism and sexism :sweatdro: )

coincidence
 

I'm taking AP Pshcology in High School right now. We just learned about homosexuals in class! According to my text book gay couples can raise children just as well as traditional parents and there will be no pshcological effects. Not saying I completely agree, but that's what the text book says. There also is no real scientific evidence of what causes people to be homosexual, but there are of course theories.

I'm on the side of seeing no problems with it. I certainly didn't have gay parents, and HELL I did nothing to be seen AS a gay. However people over the years endlessly pointed the finger at me and acussed me of it...HELL even a full grown woman acused me of being gay. What makes a child any more vulnrable to other children when they are taken care of by gay parents? Nothing... It's more about the kids they are raised with than the parents. Like mentioned before...kids will pick on anything...and that they did with me. When I wasn't gay I was fat, when I wasn't fat I was ugly, when I wasn't ugly I was stupid...and the list goes on any on...and I asure you I did nothing to appear gay, I was not fat, and though I don't belive it, I've been told I'm actualy cute...sometimes even pretty...

in colorado, there is some same gender relationships with kids.....it does not affect the child at all.

I'm gonna go with M138 and Relay on this one.......it's just wrong in my opinion. Call me old fashioned......

Well well well...finally a topic I can REALLY say something about!

Long story short, I'm the son of a lesbian, and I lived with my mom and her partner for the past 3 years (sophomore, junior, and senior years of high school). That's not when I found out, however; mom let the cat out of the bag between my 6th and 7th grade years, so it was summer of 1997. At first, I didn't know what to feel, but something in the back of my mind was telling me that I should've suspected this already, considering my mom's minor lack of feminine behavior and appearances (her hair was shorter than mine at more than one point in my life!). That and the fact that sex stopped for my mom and dad shortly after I was born, hence both she and my dad were growing pretty irate from lack of, uh, yeah...

OK, as if the fact that I'm the son of a lesbian wasn't weird enough, here's the bigger twist: honest-to-God, my mom has actually felt this way for almost as long as she can remember. She told me about the time when she was a little kid asking my grandpa why she wasn't a boy. My grandpa being the intellectual that he was, wasn't at all befuddled by this and accepted her homosexuality as a normal part of life. She always brought her girlfriends home while in high school, heh.

It gets better: The typical stereotype is that these gay parents come out for the first time to their spouses after years of marriage...not true in my parents' case. I have a hard time convincing people that my dad already knew of my mom's orientation quite a while before they were even married, yet the married nonetheless...and for 15 years too. My mom's main goal was to start a "normal" family and have her own children born in heterosexual wedlock (even though my older sister was techincally concieved out of wedlock, she was BORN in it, so yeah). Hence, both my older sister and me are around today.

Both my mom and dad hoped they would "change" her to heterosexuality, but alas it didn't work, and it never will, because my mom's the way she is and always will be. No football-watching-good-ole-boy-macho-man bubba will ever convince me otherwise. So now hopefully some people on here will understand why I take great personal offense whenever anyone says something along lines of, "Oh, that's gay!" or "That's for homos!", etc. If you insult homosexuals, you're insulting a member of my family, and that ain't good on your part. Not to scare anyone, but I wish that I was able to beat the living sh*t out of anyone who even innocently says something of a homophobic nature in that sense...honestly, that's what I feel like doing EVERY time I hear, "That's so gay!", yada yada yada...

Therefore, and trust me, I really regret having to say this, but anybody on this board I've actually gotten along with very well in the past who have now given their "old fashioned" opinions about something: congratulations, you just lost my respect for you....permanently. And this won't be like the way I said when I said I tossed away my respect for NTN...nothing will get it back now. Good day.

Interesting life, Rez. I really don't know how I feel about this topic, I say I'm against it, but my opinions change like the wind. It personally doesn't affect me and I'm not some kind of anti-gay bigot, so who knows.

Its just not right to me.

well golly gee gosh, sonny!

Whats a homosexual?

J/K (trying to act 50's ish)


I think that it's wrong, I could not live without a mothers love. It's impossible. Otherwise, your life will be horrible.

So you think there are only homosexual men or what?
:-?
Anyway, beside the fact that children of homosexual couples could be ridiculed in school or elsewhere there's nothing wrong with the idea.
This thread remembers me of the time when Rez wanted to kill me (rectally) because of my "Test it!"-thread... :lol:

I don't think it's right.

As I'm sure Reznorite could attest, welcome to the fact that lesbians are largely invisible in our society, even when GLBT issues are raised.

Rez - thanks for telling your story - too many straight people walk around and form their ideas without ever actively knowing GLBT people or their families. As someone with a liberal upbringing and gay and lesbian friends, I see no correlation between sexual orientation and quality as a parent.

As for supposed teasing in school - well, Machi and others, that's one of the arguments they used against mixed race marriages and the adoption of kids of an ethnicity different from your own. 'Oh, those poor little kids will get confused, or teased, 'cause the color of their parents doesn't match them'. Most here would agree that while kids may well be teased for such a thing, it's asinine to suggest that therefore, banning mixed race marriages and adoptions is good.

Kids will tease for all things, sexual orientation is just one of a plethora of things. It's an unfortunate combination of kids stretching their socialization boundaries and the attitudes towards others that they learn from their parents.

As the kid of a single parent I also take offense at the suggestion that kids raised by one gender are defective in some way. If that one parent sucks at parenting, sure. But what's most important is the quality of the parenting, not the quantity or the gender.

I look foward to the time when people of any gender and orientation can be appreciated as parental material.

Well said Dinogrrl. The new hate is for homosexuals these days, so they get critized for parenting. This has all happened in our country before with racism and yet nothing was learned through history.

I am not entirely against the issue or for it.....it just depends on the situation.

Exactly.

Yeah, but it always depends on the situation, even with straight couples.

My final thoughts for this thread...
 

Hmm...I am certainly fascinated by this discussion. Seeing so many different points is very interesting. This has been an Enlightening Experience... :D

A lot of you have connected this to racism and sexism, and several other prejudices. I just wanted to make a lil comment on that a lil... Well, now that i look at it, a bit more than a lil... :goofygri:

Its frustrating and disappointing that these prejudices exist. We are all the same on the inside, no matter who you look at. A human being is a human being, no matter what color, age, sex, sexual orientation, ethnic background, religion, weight (yes, there is severe prejudice in this as well), etc....

What's that saying.... "old habits die hard". I'm not saying that its good or bad or whatnot, but look at history...

Racism/sexism and racial/sexual degradation (i think thats a word...) was an issue in this country BEFORE it became a nation. Women have only reached a basic equality with man since the early 1900s, and racism didnt start letting up until the 1960s-70s. But yet we still have troubles with sexual harassment and hate crimes. Its slow but we are getting there. It is the same thing with sexual orientation. Its a slow process, but it IS getting much better... :)

A good friend of mine transferred from this school and headed back home to Massachusetts and attends college there. He openly admitted and took fun in debating who the cute guys on our campus were with me. It astonished me how horrid some people could be. Leaving messages on his doors, phone...rumors and gossip was the worst. He went through some of the worst depressions and such... :cry:
He finally upped and transferred to Amherst, we still talk a lot over Aim. He's told me about all the different people he's met, how much more open-minded people are there. He lived on a designated floor for the guys to live on, so they wouldnt have to worry about the critical people coming up to deface them and their belongings, and tells me constantly how much happier he is with his new school.

When the news came out about same-sex marriages being allowed in Massachusetts, no one up here cared.

Not so down in Mass... :D His floor (about 40 guys in all...this is a Big school!) had a party THAT NIGHT! he came on and talked to me for about two hours! I had never seen him so excited about something, and I felt so happy for him.
Everyone should be able to feel that kind of happiness, no matter who they are...


So yeah...there's always going to be a lil prejudice no matter where you look, but there's also going to be that group that keeps its arms, minds and hearts open, and will always welcome you... :D

I'm not against it, 2 gay parents may be better than 1 struggling parent which you get a lot of nowadays

Although I do understand the whole 'it's the kid with the gay parents' problems but I just wanted to make my little point without a whole overview

WoW...this is great!

Machi I really liked the last thing you said there...it's too true

and Rez i never knew that about you...thats really interesting and i'd really like to talk to you on that subject if ya don't mind that is (yes i'm seriously interested)

My freshmen year in high school was the first time i had ever met any homosexual people. I made a lot of senior friends and one of them was an openly gay guy named Bobby. He was a really awesome guy and i could never understand why people were so horrible to him. every lunch period it was a war with the other kids...they threw stuff at him and called him names, but he never cared. He said "All the people that I really need to care about are the people at this table...the ones who already accept me for who i am."

It was because of him that i have a great interest in such issues. i don't ever mean to sound rude but i am so interested in different religions and races and things like that...being different is so fascinating! I wish other people weren't so stubborn in there ways..... :roll:

I dont care for the "gay way of life" but them rasising a kid wouldnt affect the kid at all, unless there abusive or sothing like that.

Don't hold your breath...it's not as if I was raised since birth with my mom and her partner, plus it doesn't bother me anyway...I kinda consider myself a bit more unique than most considering I was born in "normal" wedlock yet still having a homosexual parent.

I know...but it would still be interesting.....its good to be unique....i like talkingans meeting people that have slightly different lifestyles then myself :)

Yanno, the way I figure, sure, same sex parents pcould very well have an effect on a kid growing up, but so does everything else, so really, what's the big deal? As long as your Gypsy sorceress mother wasn't trapped in hell and you and Dr. Strange hadta go down there and trick Mephitso into freeing her soul, you should turn out fine.