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Halloween 6: the Curse of Michael Myers
I watched the theatrical cut of Halloween 6: the Curse of Michael Myers yesterday. That's the only version legally available on DVD. I also received the Producer's Cut on DVD in the mail today, I'll be watching it later tonight. I'll review that too.
Theatrical Cut Widely known as the worst Halloween film in the franchise (before Ressurection came out). So bad it completely ENDED the continuity; H20 was a direct sequel to Halloween 2, ignoring all the other films. I wouldn't call it the worst in the franchise at that point. Halloween 5 was abismal. It was still a bad movie, though. H6's problem is that it f*cks with continuity and completely screws up the character of Michael. In all the previous films Michael is hunting down his family and we just don't know why. Explaination? He's f*cking crazy. And I LIKED that explaination. Then H6 comes along with a bullsh*t theory that makes Hell-Baby Jason look like a work of art. Apparantly, Michael is a child used by the Cult of Thorn. Once every couple centuries, when the planets are in proper alignment (for god's sake...) a child is born with a thorn-shaped birthmark. That child is magically (and it IS magic) destined to kill off his entire family as part of an ancient ritual during the feast of Samhaine. Problem is, the son of Thorn can only kill on All Hallow's Eve, hence why Michael has to keep taking year-long breaks. The problem is that Michael's taken way too lon to kill is family, so the cult tries to help him along. But they ALSO need an heir to Michael's throne so that the ritual can keep going. So at some point between parts 5 and 6, Michael either rapes Jamie (who was taken prisoner by the cult at the end of part 5) or is artificially insiminated with Michael's sperm. Yeah. That's just the general outline. Loomis is back but 90% dead. Donald Pleasance's role in the movie is severely shortened, he seems to be there out of tradition. At the end he doesn't even help take down Michael; he gets knocked out and spends the climax of the movie asleep. At the very end Tommy says "Dr. Loomis, please come with us." Loomis replies "No, I have...things to do". He walks back into the hospital, for whatever reason, and the audience is then treated to recycled audio of him screaming in pain as the camera pans of Michael's empty mask. Wow, what a sh*tty way for Loomis to go. But Pleasance died during filming, so it's not like they had much choice. Then there's Tommy Doyle, you remember him from the first movie. He was 8 years old back in 1978, and apparantly in 1995 he's only 18 or 19. Must use a lot of skincream. The actor they hired was way too young, but they needed someone to have a romantic involvement with the film's heroine. What also hurts is that int he Halloween 2000 documentary they interview the actor who played Tommy back in 78. Fat, bald and old, hardly what the Tommy in H6 looked like. Anyway, the main heroine's son is having visions of a mysterious man in black saying "Kill for me Danny". Who IS this mysterious man in black? Some guy named Dr. Wynn who appeared for all of 5 minutes at the beginning of the movie. It was Scooby Doo all over again. Anyway, Danny's Mom and family live in the old Myers house but they don't know it's the Myers house. Michael shows up and kills all of their family. Tommy, Jamie's son, Kara and Danny get taken prisoner and wind up at a sanitarium where Dr. Wynn and the Cult of Thorn plan to do something evil. Michael shows up and kills everyone but don't worry! Tommy has a bag of...something. I don't know, they show it once and then it never comes into play again. Oh the editting. Anyway, Tommy and Kara lure Michael into a room where they pump him with either tranqs or Drain-o and then beat him senseless with pipes. The End. Oh, and then Michael kills Loomis off-screen. Wow, what a load of sh*t. Not as bad or uneventful as Halloween 5 of Ressurection, though. At least this movie served a purpose. I'm watching the Producer's Cut tonight, I'll see if that's any better. |
Looking forward to your review of the Producer's Cut :) How'd you get it by the way?
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Oh, I have my..."sources". 8) Well, actually it was just eBay. |
Halloween 6: the Producer's Cut
Spoiler:
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Not like I care for the movie but you might want to fix those to make them spoiler tags. Just in case someone doesn't want to know the story fully.
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