Wish Crusher
 

A friend told me about this game. It's called "Wish Crusher" for a very good reason. First you must make a wish. For example...

The person who posts next must then make this wish come true (or semi-true), making it crushing to the wish caster (physically and/or emotionally). Example...

The person who crushed the wish will then make their own wish, which in turn will get crushed, and so on.

Got that? Yes? No? Too bad, we're starting.
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I wish I could fly...

Wish granted! You just got sucked by the left engine of a Jumbo Jet!

I wish I were a pop star.

Wish granted! You were just trampled to death by obsessive fangirls trying to get a piece of you for some twisted scrapbook they're creating!

I wish I was a millionare.

Granted, when you try to dive into your pool of gold coins you break your neck. You are now paralyzed from the neck down.

I wish I had a giant statue of myself that rose into space.

WISH GRANTED! But it's so high that the face is melted by the sun, and molten rock falls upon you, concealing your grave for eternity. On top of that, no one can recognize the statue from then on, since it has no face.

I wish I had cancer.

Wish granted. However, after winning the long battle with cancer, you die a meaningless death by choking on a twinkee while watching Saturday Morning Cartoons.


I wish I was little bit taller,
I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a girl who looked good
I would call her
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
and a '64 Impala

(Am I doin it rite?)

(Hellz yeah. You're going fine.)

You suddenly grow twenty feet and bash your head through the roof of your house, with the sudden power to give painful birth to bouncing baby balls. However, you do have some nice bling-bling hanging from your neck. Niiice.

A girl who looks simply marvelous suddenly lands in your arms, but is deathly afraid of giants, so she runs screaming away from you in terror before suffering from a heart attack.

Watching her running off into the distance, heartbroken, you notice a gansta bunny driving a '64 Impala wearing a gansta hat and a holding a baseball bat pulls up. It sees you, and decides that you are not meant for this world since you are so frickin' tall. He climbs up your long hairy leg, into your pants, and then proceeds to whack your crown of jewels violently. You realize the moral of the story - gansta bunnies are serious business.




Oh, how I wish I could be a park ranger.

Wish granted, but, whats that behind the bushes. Its a bear! It attacks you, leaving you horribly scarred both physically and mentally.


And he took your pik-a-nick basket.



I wish, I wish, I had a fish.

Wish granted! You go out fishing and catch a fish! Sadly for you, the fish has a giant shark for a friend. Have fun trying to get your arm back.

I wish I could be a superhero...

Wish granted! You fly around the world to celebrate your new powers but you don't see the plane heading towards you and splat onto their windshield like a giant superhero bug.

I wish I could re-order time and space...

Granted, but on your first re-ordering you accidently erase your existence by putting a bear in Rosa Parks' seat.

I wish Futurama was still on the air with new episodes.

Wish granted! You watch one of the new episodes, but while airing, someone gets drunk and scews up the episode.

I wish I had more money.

Granted! You win $2.50 at the lottery!

I wish I could raise the dead.

Wish granted! However, you find that raising the dead proves hazzardous to your health when the person you brought to life bit you and you become a zombie.

I wish my hair would stop turning grey...

Granted, Your hair is now a delightful rainbow clown color.

I wish I had glasses...

Damn. If I'd have been here sooner I would've said, "Wish granted. You are now Skee-Lo. The end."

Wish granted. You can now see better, but you have been transported to Montana where nothing is there and the libraries have been burnt down.

I wish I was immortal.

Wish granted. Now there's that Scottish freak with a huge sword after you, yelling "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!" once in a while. And soon you lose your head.

I wish I was KROW.

Wish granted! You manage to find your stapler, but it ends up being broken.

I wish Basura didn't have to leave on tonight's episode of Who Wants to Be a Superhero?

Wish granted. But you never get to see the final episode of "Who Wants to Be a Superhero?" since the studio burns down.

I wish I could have a burrito...