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Canadian Scientists say Zombie plague could wipe us out

So...are they just bored up there in Canada that the scientists do scientific studies on Zombie plagues??

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/8206280.stm

Quote:

If zombies actually existed, an attack by them would lead to the collapse of civilisation unless dealt with quickly and aggressively.

That is the conclusion of a mathematical exercise carried out by researchers in Canada.

They say only frequent counter-attacks with increasing force would eradicate the fictional creatures.

The scientific paper is published in a book - Infectious Diseases Modelling Research Progress.

In books, films, video games and folklore, zombies are undead creatures, able to turn the living into other zombies with a bite.

But there is a serious side to the work.

In some respects, a zombie "plague" resembles a lethal, rapidly spreading infection. The researchers say the exercise could help scientists model the spread of unfamiliar diseases through human populations.

My understanding of zombie biology is that if you manage to decapitate a zombie then it's dead forever
Professor Neil Ferguson

In their study, the researchers from the University of Ottawa and Carleton University (also in Ottawa) posed a question: If there was to be a battle between zombies and the living, who would win?

Professor Robert Smith? (the question mark is part of his surname and not a typographical mistake) and colleagues wrote: "We model a zombie attack using biological assumptions based on popular zombie movies.

"We introduce a basic model for zombie infection and illustrate the outcome with numerical solutions."

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To give the living a fighting chance, the researchers chose "classic" slow-moving zombies as our opponents rather than the nimble, intelligent creatures portrayed in some recent films.

"While we are trying to be as broad as possible in modelling zombies - especially as there are many variables - we have decided not to consider these individuals," the researchers said.

Back for good?

Even so, their analysis revealed that a strategy of capturing or curing the zombies would only put off the inevitable.

In their scientific paper, the authors conclude that humanity's only hope is to "hit them [the undead] hard and hit them often".

They added: "It's imperative that zombies are dealt with quickly or else... we are all in a great deal of trouble."

According to the researchers, the key difference between the zombies and the spread of real infections is that "zombies can come back to life".

Professor Neil Ferguson, who is one of the UK government's chief advisers on controlling the spread of swine flu, said the study did have parallels with some infectious diseases.

"None of them actually cause large-scale death or disease, but certainly there are some fungal infections which are difficult to eradicate," said Professor Ferguson, from Imperial College London.

"There are some viral infections - simple diseases like chicken pox have survived in very small communities. If you get it when you are very young, the virus stays with you and can re-occur as shingles, triggering a new chicken pox epidemic."

Professor Smith? told BBC News: "When you try to model an unfamiliar disease, you try to find out what's happening, try to approximate it. You then refine it, go back and try again."

"We refined the model again and again to say... here's how you would tackle an unfamiliar disease."

Professor Ferguson went on to joke: "The paper considers something that many of us have worried about - particularly in our younger days - of what would be a feasible way of tackling an outbreak of a rapidly spreading zombie infection.

"My understanding of zombie biology is that if you manage to decapitate a zombie then it's dead forever. So perhaps they are being a little over-pessimistic when they conclude that zombies might take over a city in three or four days."

Sigh. I spent a lot of time at the University of Ottawa last year, as my girlfriend went to school there. It doesn't surprise me at all that this is the sh*t they get up to. I'm glad she's done there.

This is just common sense, anyway. Of course zombies would wipe us out.

Quote:

My understanding of zombie biology is that if you manage to decapitate a zombie then it's dead forever

Well, duh. That's like Bio 101 right there.

I imagine the lead up going like this.

Bob-"Hey, Dave! We just got $2.5 million in funding. Want to try and cure cancer?"

Dave-"Man. . .every time we try and cure cancer, we fail. I'm tired of failing. Let's do something else."

Bob-"AIDS?"

Dave-"No."

Bob-"Cold fusion?"

Dave-"No."

Bob-"Zombie plague?"

Dave-"HELL. YES."

*they high five*

Bring it on!! The zombies that is..

I wonder if the old Rudolf Flesch book Why Johnny Can't Read, written in the 1950's for an American audience, managed to sell many copies outside the USA.

I saw this the other day and wondered if it were some sort of farce. Yes, it's on BBC, but the tone of the article seems very unprofessional, and... come on, the guy has a question mark in his name? I don't know what quite to make of this.

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Ninjinister (Post 716343)

I was kinda thinking the same thing. So I did some research and found this:

http://scienceblogs.com/sciencepunk/...f_a_zombie.php

And I also found info on a book about.... Zombology.....that's the Science of Zombies... that's right....there's an ology for Zombies now.

http://www.frankswain.com/?p=122

But Infectious Disease Modelling Research Progress. uh yeah... I'd be interested in that if it didn't cost $90!! Like WTF?!
https://www.novapublishers.com/catal...oducts_id=9750

I don't get why people don't get this. Like it says this whole thing is an analogy for the spread of infectious disease. Guess what the study worked! We are talking about it.

And no they wont find a cure for cancer, I am really sorry, but I don't think they will. My mom had it and I know far to many people who have died from it, they wont find it because they damn well don't want to and the drug companies will shut them down!

Aids on the other hand they have a vaccine already. Canadian scientists have just started human testing with it.. so I guess they got something right!

All in all, hahah I think it is funny and cool that they did this paper!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raph's Girl (Post 716381)

Oh, I'm totally not even thinking of discrediting the whole possibility of zombies existing. It's scientifically possible. It's just the fact that that particular article gives me pause.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Canadian Turtle (Post 716383)

Aids on the other hand they have a vaccine already. Canadian scientists have just started human testing with it.. so I guess they got something right!

Yeah I read about that...although, just because theyre testing a vaccine, doesnt mean its going to work. In fact, in 2007 a human vaccine test was shut down when people given the vaccine were contracting HIV FASTER than those given placebo. But hey, lets hope it works.

Not to get off track, but I'm really curious to know how people are compensated for letting some scientist give them HIV. Seriously...on an individual basis, what could possibly be worth that?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Canadian Turtle (Post 716383)

They're testing some vaccines for the Swine Flu over at Vanderbilt University. Apparently, they're still looking for more child volunteers between ages 6 months to 6 years. Quite a few adults have made contributions already. Point is, I'm happy to see society is making progress little by little. It's just gotta be done...eventually!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cowabunga Kiefer (Post 716514)

Ya the government has already ordered enough vaccines for the entire country for this years flu season. I don't know if I will get one though. Its still a gamble no matter what, if the virus mutates before then the vaccine will be for nothing.

[Mumble] More people are killed by the regular flu every year [/Mumble]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Voltron (Post 716141)

Man, I still can't stop laughing about this story.