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TMNT Movie Script

WHAT IS THIS ALL ABOUT?

http://i1092.photobucket.com/albums/...pse9e258bd.jpg

Poster courtesy of the talented and supportful Blossombrooks

After reading the TANT script, I decided to pretty much begin writing a feature-length TMNT movie script of my own.

This is strictly for fun, but if someone WANTS to do something with it, it'll be here for thier use.

I will be using this thread to share snippets from the script, details about the plot, and even supplying you with some of the songs from the "soundtrack" I'm putting together for it. I've also written two original songs (there just lyrics though, no music) for the movie.

Give me your thoughts on the snippets I'll provide over the next few weeks

Keep in mind that, as an experiment, and just for the sake of debate, I will be taking SLIGHT liberties, TMNT has always been about reinvention, so I won't be 100% faithful to the comics

THE PREMISE

"Magic Monday" is the day a city-renowned building meets it's final curtain call....but what will cause it's downfall? What has been at the center of so many recent demolition jobs, ones that involve no explosives? Journalist April O'Neil is determined to uncover the truth, but as she peers into the rabbit hole, she, her good friend Irma Langestien, and April's boyfriend Casey Jones are swept into an altogether more sinister, warped version of wonderland. Saved from near-death by four strange creatures highly skilled in an ancient art of combat yet heavily influenced by the modern world and the odd hormone or two, April and Casey embark on a wondrous journey, discovering a secret lair beneath the streets, bonding with new friends, and uncovering another wild and eccentric world that must stay hidden. To most of contemporary civilisation, they are shadows, to others, they are guardian angels, to others like the ruthless Saki and his underlings, they are a target. For April and Casey, they're just too weird for words.

They are the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Read the Novelization here

SCRIPT SAMPLES

SAMPLE ONE

Spoiler:

SAMPLE TWO

Spoiler:

SAMPLE THREE

Spoiler:

THE SOUNDTRACK
1. "I Try So Hard" by Tribal Ink
2. "Life Again" by Decypher Down
3. "World On Fire" by Sarah McLachlan
4. "We Are Shadows" by David Blyth (Original song)
5. "Towards The Day" by David Blyth (Original Song)
6. "These Days Are Ours" by Emma Hewitt
7. "Secrets From The Underground" by The Offspring
8. When You're Young By 3 Doors Down (Leo's theme)
9. Something New by Girls Aloud (April's theme)

PROMOTIONAL ARTWORK

Art by Blossombrooks[/center]

http://i1092.photobucket.com/albums/...t/CB606C0C.jpg

http://i1092.photobucket.com/albums/...t/42A3BB82.jpg

Updated with a new script sample

SAMPLE FOUR

Spoiler:

SHREDDER:
You are alone

LEONARDO
Maybe…but My brothers, my mentor, guide me in spirit

SHREDDER:
I was, until a few days ago…a rational man. I did not believe in the supernatural, I did not believe that the great warriors of the past, ny ancestors, were driven by anything other than their own superstition and self-confidence…but your kind? You are like the great reptilian delusion come to life. A bane sent from the Otherworld. It must fall to me to cleanse this planet of it before it overwhelms us all.

LEONARDO:
We do not come to tip the balance of power, merely to sustain it’s harmonious flux. Your “voiceless” intend to make this city scream until you are heard, to restore balance, we have had to silence it

SHREDDER:
And now you are here…to silence me

LEONARDO:
I do not kill in cold blood. You can surrender peacefully, avoid conflict, end this pointless war

SHREDDER:
History will be written by the victor . You are the demon’s head. If I remove it, the remainder of the body will wither and die.

LEONARDO:
If that is your choice, let us settle this with honour

(Leonardo bows his head in respect to his opponent. Shredder does not return the courtesy)

SHREDDER:
LOOK at me

(Leonardo obliges, he raises his head, he looks into Shredder’s cold, merciless, unemotional eyes, he looks for something, anything, to justify holding back)

SHREDDER:
What do you see?

LEONARDO:
If evil had a form, a face, it would be yours.

SHREDDER:
A judgement. From one who is so used to be judged himself by the ignorant world he foolishly protects.

LEONARDO:
I have seen the world, and while it can be grey, even black, I need only look at those noble souls I have seen in action this last week, I need only look at the country in and outside of the city. The truth is this land, this world, is altogether very GREEN.

SHREDDER:
Then I will ensure you join your lush green country…six feet beneath it

(With nothing left to say, the two give in to their conflictive impulses and CHARGE towards one another, their swords CLASH, THE BATTLE IS JOINED).

All right, not trying to be too nitpicky here.... Bit all your references to the IPad app they have? I think you mean IPad tablet. An app is an application. At first I thought you were just using the term awkwardly, but when you started saying things like hand me that app... Yeah, I think Inigo Montoya said of best: "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means" :P

Beyond that, it looks okay enough, I guess, but something seems a little... Off about the dialogue. I wish I could be more specific, nothing sucks more than vague criticism, but a lot of of just doesnt seem very... Natural, I guess. I find it sometimes helps to by a friend or two to read the parts like you're rehearsing a play. If there's something wrong with it, one of you will notice. Course, I could be wrong anyway, I've done very little in the way of screenplay writing (Stan few scenes of a Mega Man X movie, and a pilot for a proposed Teen Titans revamp. Neither were seen by anyone worth mentioning), so I may very well.be talking out my ass.

But it looks promising, keep at it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Azrael Macool (Post 993069)

I'm not a savy person in that area, thanks for the corrections there. :P

I guess the dialouge could be a little more...loose and fluent, at least on the human side. I'll look up some examples just to get a better feel. A lot of comics I've read have this sort of dialouge (including TMNT books)

Thanks for the interest, always appreciate help.

Another thing hat helps me and my friend, who both write on occasion, is for us to edit each others work. It's not only good for spelling and grammar, its great for continuity and clarity. Sometimes something that makes sense to you won't to someone else. That may help, just in general. Of course, my sister writes probably more than both of us, and doesn't use an editor, so again, different strokes, different folks, etc.

Beleive me, there's going to be things in this that will only make sense to me and that's half the fun of sharing it.:lol:

Added plot synopsis

Added new samples

SAMPLE FIVE

Spoiler:

SAMPLE SIX

Spoiler:

I should point out that these samples arent neccersarily in chronological order.

Added some promotional artwork (something incredibly simple, I'm not Picaso where this is concerned:lol:)

Rats, had to do some proof-reading on this, my dyslexia got the better of me at some points:ohwell:

Update time

New bit of promotional artwork and another script sample.

SAMPLE SEVEN

Spoiler:

Two illustrations inspired by scenes in my fanfilm script

First, one from Casey Jone's introduction

http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/f/20...t4-d5fcalz.png

And Leonardo from the Turtles battle in the park

http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/f/20...t4-d5fd87b.png

Leonardo and Splinter have a conversation while Don works away in his lab

http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs71/i/20...t4-d5fev5a.png

Update time!

Whew, 70 Pages in with more to come, but things are finally coming together, as I finally got to the scene April meets the Turtles face to face. This is where the story kicks into higher gear, as next comes our first meeting with Splinter, Casey fends off home invaders, and one of Shredder's "pet" projects visits a kindly old woman, prompting Mikey into action! It's all yet to come in this script.

For now, enjoy another sample, taken from April and Irma's first meeting with Donatello and Raphael, when the four are interupted by two armed thugs, what kind of fireworks will ignite?

Spoiler:

IRMA:
April let’s get out of here…

APRIL:
Not without my story

1ST MAN:
Can it broad.

(he turns to his friend)

1ST MAN (instructing him to go after Raph)
Take him

2ND MAN:
He’s armed man.

1st MAN:
You heard his pal, there scared of this getting out of hand, he won’t dice ya, take him. I’ll get what I want from the chicks

(his friend plucks up the courage to do as instructed, he slaps himself in the face a few times to zone himself up, he shakes his head, lets out a yell, and charges Raph. Just as he approaches him, Raph KICKS HIM VICIOUSLY IN THE STOMACH, and RAMS HIS RIGHT ELBOW DOWN ON HIS BACK, he steps over the shattered man and heads towards his partner, but he grabs Irma)

APRIL:
Hey! Let her go!

( he slowly but surely begins to back out of the alley with Irma)

1ST MAN:
You’re not a good enough general for this war pal, now it’s gonna escalate.

RAPHAEL:
Go ahead. Test my speed, I may just surprise ya

1ST MAN:
One step further and her neck slides clean off

(Raph stalls. Unsure of what to do, the man sneers, he thinks he has the upper hand.

SUDDENLY, Donatello DASHES UP TO RAPH, LEAPS ONTO RAPH’S SHOULDERS, AND JUMPS OFF, CLENCHING A FIST IN MID-AIR AND COMING DOWN ON TOP OF THE THUG.

Irma is released from the man’s grip as his and Donatello’s bodies collide and fall down onto the hardened concrete. Donatello’s hat falls off as Irma rushes to April’s side. As Donatello pins the thug to the ground and holds him long enough for Raphael to take over, Irma observes the activity and is keen to comment)

IRMA:
Pfft, and you said they were Turtles

(Donatello turns around, his face completely exposed. Sure enough, April’s suspicions are confirmed. They ARE Turtles.

Irma stares upon it and begins to SCREAM IN PANIC. April quickly covers Irma’s mouth with her right hand.

The thug begins to stir, Raph HEADBUTTS HIM, knocking him out. Raph takes one of his sais and hovers it over the thug’s left eye. Donatello reacts to this in an alarmed fashion)

DONATELLO:
What are you doing?

RAPHAEL:
I reckon this guy could do with seeing a lot less of the world he’s in…might even open up his senses

DONATELLO:
He’s not a threat anymore, leave it be. Stay calm, center yourself, this is not what our sensei taught us.

(Raph sighs, and puts his sais away, stashing them in his jacket pocket)

RAPHAEL:
Yeah, yeah, I know the drill, just wishful thinking

(He addresses April and Irma, the latter still being held back from screaming by her friend)

RAPHAEL:
What do we do with these two?

DONATELLO:
Depends on what they want to do…your call Miss O’Neil. If you choose to run, we won’t try to stop you.

RAPHAEL;
Yeah but we’re compromised…

DONATELLO (putting his foot down)
..We WON’T stop you

APRIL:
I’m not going anywhere. You’re…you’re…so unreal, but…I was right…see Irma? I was ABSOLUTELY right

IRMA (Muffled)
Ok, ok, you’re right, Lemme go, I’m cool…I’m cool

APRIL:
…Promise?

IRMA:
Promise

(April releases her grip, Irma, still a little shaken, stays close to her friend as Donatello walks over)

DONATELLO:
Didn’t mean to startle you ma’am

IRMA:
…Didn’t mean to cry out for help because the martians were clearly invading Mister.

DONATELLO:
Please, just call me Donatello

IRMA:
I think I’ll stick with maritan

Wow. This is an awesome script, Zarius. I really like it, especially Leo's and Splinter's conversation. It was just so spot on and something they'd discuss. Nicely done on this so far. I'll be eagerly awaiting more.

Thanks for your poitive comments Bubbly, I appreciate it. It's been a bit since I worked on this so it's nice to know someone's paying attention to it.:)

No problem, Zarius. I'm always happy to lend my support and review when I feel something is good.

I love the Irma comment at the end there! Made me smile. This is good, there's a really nice genuine interplay between the characters.

Thanks for the kind words. I'm cramming a lot of characters into this, from all aspects of the franchise, I'm quite keen to make them all have a part to play here.

Another sample, while it's taken from a much deeper portion of the story, it doesnt spoil much. Donatello meets a certain scientist we ALL should know by now..

Spoiler:

MAXWELL:
Ah, and here’s the man behind the magic…Donatello, Doctor Baxter Stockman. Baxter, Donatello

(Baxter does not make eye contact with Donatello, instead turning to Max)

BAXTER STOCKMAN:
Max, I thought we agreed you weren’t to touch me

MAXWELL:
…I got excited Baxter

BAXTER:
…Sir

MAXWELL:
I’m your BOSS Baxter

(Baxter, stern as a stone, repeats himself)

BAXTER:
…SIR.

(He motions to grab Maxwell by his shirt collar. Maxwell puts both hands up)

MAXWELL:
Sir. Sir ok? Now, if you’d care to say hello to…

BAXTER:
…No.

MAXWELL:
No?

BAXTER STOCKMAN:
I don’t do interims.

MAXWELL:
There not interims. There intruders. But they're NICE intruders.

BAXTER:
Procedure is NOT kind to intruders. Why arent you dealing with them?

(Donatello taps Baxter on the shoulder)

DONATELLO:
..Erm, sir?

(Baxter freezes. His face becomes increasingly stoney. He closes his eyes briefly and tries to compose himself)

MAXWELL:
…****.

BAXTER:
…He touched me.

DONATELLO:
…Yeah. I did. That happened.

BAXTER:
…He’s an intruder and he touched me.

MAXWELL:
Baxter I think you should just….

(Baxter gets further into Maxwell’s face)

BAXTER:
You let an intrusive and unpredictable element touch a senior member of your personnel, putting our security, specifically MINE, at risk. Are you going to stand for that?

MAXWELL:
Baxter, just please turn around and…

BAXTER:
…And what? And WHAT Maxwell? Stare in awe at this latest bungling on your watch? Fine, just WATCH me turn around and deal with...

(He freezes when he sees Donatello up close)

BAXTER STOCKMAN:
…Oh crap.

DONATELLO:
…Hi. I come in peace. Don’t worry

MAXWELL:
Baxter, meet Donatello.

(he extends his hand. Baxter shakes it)

BAXTER:
A pleasure to meet you.

DONATELLO:
Likewise.

BAXTER:
You’re a Turtle. A big…green, scaly, mutant…Turtle. I really am not pleased. I’m terrified.

MAXWELL:
..And, unfortunately, very honest.

BAXTER :
But very formal.

DONATELLO:
I’m sure the fear’ll pass

BAXTER:
Don’t bet on it.

(Maxwell claps both hands loudly, trying to break the tension)

MAXWELL:
Right…now that we’ve…cleared the air, let’s get to talking shall we?

BAXTER:
You’re letting him walk. Now you’re letting him talk. To me.

MAXWELL:
Yes Baxter, you’re the most qualified to answer his questions

BAXTER:
..You’re letting a giant, mutant scaly Turtle ask questions about this establishment?

MAXWELL:
Yes.

BAXTER;
…Right. Right. Of course. Fine. Who am I to judge? Come with me freak

DONATELLO:
Pardon?

BAXTER:
…GEEK. Come with me GEEK. I was talking to him.

(points to Maxwell)

DONATELLO:
But he’s your boss

BAXTER;
And?

Wow. This was great. You have one mistake though. There should be they're as in they are. Other than that, good job. Can't wait to see more.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BubblyShell22 (Post 1013799)

Wow. This was great. You have one mistake though. There should be they're as in they are. Other than that, good job. Can't wait to see more.

Ah right, thanks for the correction. I've fixed it up now.

Glad you enjoyed that. Baxter's been a lot of fun to write.

No problem. Always glad to help out a fellow writer.