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Snake Eyes: GI Joe Origins (2020)
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G. I. Joe has been one of the weirdest managed film franchises in my recent memory.
2009 Studio: You like those Transformers? Well, we got a G. I. Joe movie coming! Fans: "Real American Hero?" Studio: Uh... 2012: Studio: We got another G. I. Joe for you! Here's a Superbowl commercial with lots of Ninjas! Also, don't worry too much about the actors and characters from the first movie, as we've got The Rock now! Fans: But, Channing Tatum is a big star now... Studio: Uh... 2013: Studio: We took a little time to make that G. I. Joe sequel a 3D extravaganza, because that's what we know you want to spend the extra money for at the movie houses! Fans: Didn't you also spend a lot of time and money on reshoots? Studio: Uh... look here's a new trailer with lots of Channing Tatum interaction with The Rock Fans: Oh, so Duke is gonna play a big role now? Studio: Yeah, sure! Also, we remember how much y'all like Snake Eyes. 2013-2018: Studio: So, y'all ready another G. I. Joe? Fans: [silence] Studio: We're totally working on it though! Fans: [silence] Studio: Maybe we'll just do a Snake Eyes movie! Fans: Isn't that what the first two movies were about? Studio: I don't hear the X-Men fans complaining about Hugh Jackman and Wolverine! 2020: Studio: Snake Eyes Origin movie coming up! Fans: That was literally the worst of the Wolverine movies. |
Yeah, that's kind of an... "interesting" choice for a title, for a variety of reasons.
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I was surprised that the second GI Joe movie managed to be entertaining and still feel a little like GI Joe. Hopefully this one will be another step in the right direction.
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Snake Eyes moved up from October to July 23rd, and will be exclusive to theatres
https://twitter.com/GIJoeOfficial/st...73774404325389 |
Here's the first Trailer.
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Not only is this movie bombing critically, but it's about to bomb commercially as well.
That's another franchise desecrated by Paramount ... |
They really should have just done GI Joe 3. This smells like a reboot prequel thing that will never grow wings.
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It seems GI Joe is even harder to get right on film than Transformers and TMNT.
Personally, I'd like to see a sequel to Retaliation in the same batshit insane style, but whatever. We have Fast & Furious for this style now. |
Well, I mean, they're army guys, and we've been told over and over again by the media and the Left since George W. was in office that war is bad and army guys are awful people. Also, the bad guys are literally a terrorist organization, albeit a comically-inept one.
There's just so much about G.I. Joe that is like "Yeah... NOPE" given the sociopolitical climate of the last two decades. Like if G.I. Joe didn't already exist prior to 9/11 and the Iraq War, there's zero chance anyone would ever be able to invent it after all that stuff happened, it simply wouldn't exist. The only reason it still does, in any form or fashion, is that once upon a time it made billions of dollars and that's hard for the guys in suits to forget. Like, could you imagine even pitching that brand Right Now if it didn't already exist? "So it's about a bunch of army guys... some of them have kind of racially-insensitive gimmicks... and they unilaterally go around the world fighting bad guys, who are, get this, actual terrorists. But not like BAD ones, though, they're mostly buffoons. No, we're not trying to make terrorism 'funny'... no, we're not 'promoting war'... Why are you having Security escort me out of the building?" You'd never get it approved in a million years, now. If it wasn't the biggest boys' toy line in the world once upon a time, it'd be dead and buried under concrete by now. People remember the money, so they try and bring it back. But it's still pretty much impossible to make it work given the screwy state of things these days. Of course, the brand more or less completely went away during the anti-war sentiment post-Vietnam, and when it came back in the 80s it was bigger than it'd ever been before. So it's not like G.I. Joe won't EVER have another moment in the sun. But things will have to be a LOT different in Real Life before that can happen. |
I think its just movies are pretty bad.
If you look through the lens of [CURRENT YEAR] socio-political ********, almost everything Hollywood does contradicts their stated agenda one way or the other. Which is why their hypocrisy is very much obvious, much more obvious than that of politicians. Like Fast & Furious basically promotes "toxic masculinity", Marvel and DC comic movies have loads and loads of white people as main characters and so on. Movies having "message" is important only for ****** lazy parasites on Twatter, but, if it is a franchise or a movie they personally like they will mum about if it, even it breaks their ideology. And when asked about it, they will create dozens of reasons why their favorite movie, music, comic book and so on, are exceptions. Or just state that its OK to like problematic things, even though, they constantly are trying to drawn other people in **** for liking things they find problematic. All in all, it is quality of the movie, which decides whether it will be popular or not and no amount of propaganda and screaming monkeys on Twitter can change it. Not even studio manipulating ticket sales and buying reviewers can do so (partially, because, reviewers have been replaced by YouTubers to an extent, partially, because, most don't trust them anymore). |
Even as a kid I kinda felt GI Joe was kinda like a way to make the army to look cool so kids could enlist once they're older, as well as sell toys, (even though as a kid I didn't get the sell toys part lmao).
But I mean alongside Transformers, He-Man and TMNT it's one of those 80s franchises I feel has to come back in some way or another, especially since the other 3 have had comebacks. Like some people liked this show over that show but literally every kid I know watched GI Joe religiously back then. It was THE boy show to end all boy shows. To this day people still cosplay as Cobra Commander and the Baroness. Hell if I was Mr Hollywood, I'd have Sgt Slaughter in this as one of the older generals calling the shots. You just don't forget Slaughter was a Joe, c'mon. |
The critic on 411 gave it a f*cking 0 out of 10. :lol:
They said it "has a lot in common with 'Legend of Chun-Li'." :teek: I didn't think it was still legal to make movies that bad. |
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This is probably a fringe flop in the making. We are at that unfortunate saturation point where Hollywood has now deviated from the "stick very close to the source material" thing. There are always deviations, but the fact is that the closer they stick, the better the films almost every time. It's like ethical drift. You just slowly move away over time from what matters. |
I actually liked the first live-action movie.
Of course, I barely watched the cartoon as a kid, I went in with zero expectations, and I was more entertained than I thought I'd be, despite the fact that it was batsh*t lunacy. Didn't think it was "great", but I didn't think it was as dumb or offensive as the Transformers movies. "Don't be as stupid as the Transformers movies" is about all I ask for anymore. :lol: Never saw the second one. Kinda wanted to, because Bruce Willis. But killing off the cast from the first movie and replacing them with The Rock had me like, "Nope." We own it, we just never got around to seeing it. I've heard nothing but bad things. |
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Then they had powered armor. For... no reason at all.... :lol: I don't know how the Rise of Cobra could possibly not be dumber or more offensive than any of the Transformers flicks... :lol: 8) |
I f*cking hate Shia LeBeowulf.
Him not being involved put the G.I. Joe movie ahead by 50 points immediately. Seriously, I haven't even seen the c*cksucker in a single movie since Indy 4, and I still wanna jam an M80 in his pisshole and watch it go off. I'unno if you noticed this, but I'm a Love/Hate kinda guy. And if I hate you, I literally not only want you dead, but I wanna be the one responsible. :lol: So yeah, no Shia = G.I. Joe is awesome. :lol: MY rules, I make 'em up! :tgrin: |
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It also has good actions scenes, like battle of ninjas in the mountains, without any dialogues or final battle on the tanks. And world leaders playing nuclear football scene was amazing. It is not high art, but a quality modern action movie, which is dumb and fun. |
I saw this movie in IMAX the other day. I liked it fine and my friends seemed to feel the same way too. There were some cool action-packed ninja fighting sequences that looked stellar on the screen. I also thought Snake Eyes' backstory was kind of clever. I don't know if this will be something I will watch many times over and again though.
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