Dusted off

Justin · 06-04-2013, 06:30 PM

For the entirety of my ninth grade year, I've felt rejected, especially by the kids. Initially I thought it was because I was too uncouth before learning the majority knew each other before the school year. I ignored this, determined to make new friends out of them. However, after being told by one boy and a few others that they could not or merely would not associate themselves with me merely because their "real friends" went there, it was enough to drive me mad.

I even tried to fix this problem by ignoring them and associating myself with friends from my old school, but found them either uninterested or not interested enough to pull through. I'm asking for help, on how I can pull through next year of this issue I've had.

Shreddhead · 06-04-2013, 07:13 PM

Hey justin, High school, let alone middle school, can be a really tough place for everyone even the "cool" kids. I've been on both sides of the coin, the outcast new kid as well as the kid in the popular niches. Its a total free for all where emotions run high and feelings can be truly hurt. Its hard to give advise about this because at that age all the advise I got seemed insignificant or unrelated to me. But believe me, even the "cool" kids will view this time as a strange inbetween time where friends and allegiances change each year. The best advice i can give you is to keep trying to make new friends because it will honestly get better. Maybe try schoolmates or cliques that you havent tried to make friends with before, or maybe try to find some common interests in the people you are trying to create a friendship with. Like I said, most people look back at this time of their lives and think " wow, what a strange time. I cant believe I was friends with so and so, or I cant believe me and so and so didnt like each other back then." As much as you may not think it, EVERYONE at that age is very immature, and the older you get, the more you realize how much true friends are worth and how "phony" a lot of the kids at that age are.

Don't give up, and there are lots of people here at the drome, myself included, that are more than happy to talk to you and try to help you through this tough part of your life. Best of luck!

*ZariusTwo* · 06-05-2013, 05:02 AM

Don't get too hung up about mere school life, life is just begining and you'll have plenty of people to meet up with as you progress through the world in places like College or the workplace. I didnt have many friends in school either, and I toughened it out and ultimately met more people down the line that had the same feelings as me and such.

*BubblyShell22* · 06-05-2013, 08:56 AM

Yeah, same here. High school was the worst time for me, but when I got to college, things changed. I met friends who knew about what it's like to be visually impaired, something I never had in high school as I was the only one, and I even met my BF there. Just stick it out and then wait for something else to happen. You'll make friends eventually, and when you do, you'll realize that life is much better outside of high school.

dkram230 · 06-05-2013, 09:56 AM

I went to private school for k-8 and then moved to public for 9th. However, 9th grade was in the middle school with 7th and 8th. So I came in with a group of kids who had already been together for 2 years and experienced some of what you're seeing. I made a few friends in 9th and 10th, but really nobody I hung out with outside of school. Then my junior year I fell in with a group sophomores and we hung out all the time. I'm still friends with some of the group today and even met my now wife through them. So hang in there. As others have said, 9th grade is an awkward year for a lot of people even if they don't appear to show it.

愛 · 06-05-2013, 11:15 AM

You're gonna know these kids for 4 years, and then they are going to be gone and you won't have to care about them ever again.

When I used to play ice hockey, my coach gave the best advice ever. If you encounter someone who is bullying you or being insulting, just laugh at them.

Peanut · 06-05-2013, 08:54 PM

High school and people from high school are meaningless and you shouldn't allow them to impact your life. I say this as a person who had a lot of friends in high school who I've associated with, or even encountered, maybe three times in close to a decade. Don't sweat high school friends in the least and if people are giving you a hard time, just ignore them and do your thing. 10 years from now they'll be haunted (if they become decent people) by how awful they were as teenagers.

DonatelloNinja82 · 06-11-2013, 03:55 PM

I HATED high school and middle school. At 31, I today only still talk to one person I went to hs with. Being a teen is tough, but it's just a few years...

Moonlight1102 · 06-21-2013, 06:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZariusTwo

Don't get too hung up about mere school life, life is just begining and you'll have plenty of people to meet up with as you progress through the world in places like College or the workplace. I didnt have many friends in school either, and I toughened it out and ultimately met more people down the line that had the same feelings as me and such.

Which is why you always mock me and called a "twat" and say my opinions are insignificant.

I know this is off-topic, but you're coming across as a hypocrite.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZariusTwo

If you've read any post by Moonlight, you can tell why I'm having a go at him.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZariusTwo

Says the twat who loves Ulitmate Spider-Man

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZariusTwo

You don't count.

You yourself are nothing more than a bully, and I'm honestly not surprised you don't have many friends.

cowabungaparty · 06-21-2013, 06:13 PM

keep your head up buddy

*Slap-Happy* · 06-24-2013, 01:59 AM

Alright, guy. I felt very similar to the way you do. Ninth grade wasn't a good year for me. I had friends, yeah, but I'd never hang out with them outside of school. I was kind of an outcast. Very worried about what people thought of me, I would make jokes that friends would laugh at, but never really just acted like myself.

That year I met a person who really changed my life. They did what they wanted and didn't care what people thought. I took that advice and utilised it. I said what I thought would be funny, not what others might think is funny. I did things I wanted to, pushed myself to be more outgoing and do the things I wouldn't do before.

It worked out for me. By my senior year, I was our ASB president, a Captain of our Improv team, and an overall more accepted person.

So, Justin, my advice to you is to just be you. Join some clubs, extra-curricular activities, or electives you find to be interesting. You can find people with similar interests and start there.

I really do understand what you're going through. I sincerely wish you the best, good sir.

06-04-2013, 06:30 PM	#1
Justin Thug Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: The US nation Posts: 97	Dusted off For the entirety of my ninth grade year, I've felt rejected, especially by the kids. Initially I thought it was because I was too uncouth before learning the majority knew each other before the school year. I ignored this, determined to make new friends out of them. However, after being told by one boy and a few others that they could not or merely would not associate themselves with me merely because their "real friends" went there, it was enough to drive me mad. I even tried to fix this problem by ignoring them and associating myself with friends from my old school, but found them either uninterested or not interested enough to pull through. I'm asking for help, on how I can pull through next year of this issue I've had.

06-04-2013, 07:13 PM	#2
Shreddhead Mad Scientist Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Pittsburgh Posts: 1,470	Hey justin, High school, let alone middle school, can be a really tough place for everyone even the "cool" kids. I've been on both sides of the coin, the outcast new kid as well as the kid in the popular niches. Its a total free for all where emotions run high and feelings can be truly hurt. Its hard to give advise about this because at that age all the advise I got seemed insignificant or unrelated to me. But believe me, even the "cool" kids will view this time as a strange inbetween time where friends and allegiances change each year. The best advice i can give you is to keep trying to make new friends because it will honestly get better. Maybe try schoolmates or cliques that you havent tried to make friends with before, or maybe try to find some common interests in the people you are trying to create a friendship with. Like I said, most people look back at this time of their lives and think " wow, what a strange time. I cant believe I was friends with so and so, or I cant believe me and so and so didnt like each other back then." As much as you may not think it, EVERYONE at that age is very immature, and the older you get, the more you realize how much true friends are worth and how "phony" a lot of the kids at that age are. Don't give up, and there are lots of people here at the drome, myself included, that are more than happy to talk to you and try to help you through this tough part of your life. Best of luck! __________________

06-05-2013, 05:02 AM	#3
ZariusTwo Overlord Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Britain, DINO THUNDER...POWER UP! Posts: 22,482	Don't get too hung up about mere school life, life is just begining and you'll have plenty of people to meet up with as you progress through the world in places like College or the workplace. I didnt have many friends in school either, and I toughened it out and ultimately met more people down the line that had the same feelings as me and such. __________________ Spider-Man: The Rescue Spider-Man: The Galloping Cat Spider-Man: Scarlet Mirror Doctor Who: Child of the Daleks

06-05-2013, 08:56 AM	#4
BubblyShell22 Leo-holic Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Indiana Posts: 16,912	Yeah, same here. High school was the worst time for me, but when I got to college, things changed. I met friends who knew about what it's like to be visually impaired, something I never had in high school as I was the only one, and I even met my BF there. Just stick it out and then wait for something else to happen. You'll make friends eventually, and when you do, you'll realize that life is much better outside of high school. __________________ "A warrior who never fails, never learns."-The Ancient One. "Embrace your inner a**holiness."-Mr. Anderson.

06-11-2013, 03:55 PM	#8
DonatelloNinja82 Mad Scientist Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 1,345	I HATED high school and middle school. At 31, I today only still talk to one person I went to hs with. Being a teen is tough, but it's just a few years... __________________ Michelangelo: Holy guacamole with hot sauce and jalapenos!

06-05-2013, 09:56 AM	#5
dkram230 Stone Warrior Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Midwest Posts: 613	I went to private school for k-8 and then moved to public for 9th. However, 9th grade was in the middle school with 7th and 8th. So I came in with a group of kids who had already been together for 2 years and experienced some of what you're seeing. I made a few friends in 9th and 10th, but really nobody I hung out with outside of school. Then my junior year I fell in with a group sophomores and we hung out all the time. I'm still friends with some of the group today and even met my now wife through them. So hang in there. As others have said, 9th grade is an awkward year for a lot of people even if they don't appear to show it.

06-05-2013, 11:15 AM	#6
愛 Super Moderator Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 7,449	You're gonna know these kids for 4 years, and then they are going to be gone and you won't have to care about them ever again. When I used to play ice hockey, my coach gave the best advice ever. If you encounter someone who is bullying you or being insulting, just laugh at them.

06-05-2013, 08:54 PM	#7
Peanut Second Gear Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: The New World Posts: 15,422	High school and people from high school are meaningless and you shouldn't allow them to impact your life. I say this as a person who had a lot of friends in high school who I've associated with, or even encountered, maybe three times in close to a decade. Don't sweat high school friends in the least and if people are giving you a hard time, just ignore them and do your thing. 10 years from now they'll be haunted (if they become decent people) by how awful they were as teenagers.

06-21-2013, 06:13 PM	#10
cowabungaparty Random Punk Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: london,Ontario Posts: 49	keep your head up buddy

06-24-2013, 01:59 AM	#11
Slap-Happy Bad Boy Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 1,911	Alright, guy. I felt very similar to the way you do. Ninth grade wasn't a good year for me. I had friends, yeah, but I'd never hang out with them outside of school. I was kind of an outcast. Very worried about what people thought of me, I would make jokes that friends would laugh at, but never really just acted like myself. That year I met a person who really changed my life. They did what they wanted and didn't care what people thought. I took that advice and utilised it. I said what I thought would be funny, not what others might think is funny. I did things I wanted to, pushed myself to be more outgoing and do the things I wouldn't do before. It worked out for me. By my senior year, I was our ASB president, a Captain of our Improv team, and an overall more accepted person. So, Justin, my advice to you is to just be you. Join some clubs, extra-curricular activities, or electives you find to be interesting. You can find people with similar interests and start there. I really do understand what you're going through. I sincerely wish you the best, good sir.