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Old 07-21-2013, 06:40 PM   #1
Krutch
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Can't believe I'm about to post this, but...

...Allow me to vent.

My girlfriend and I broke up today. We've been dating for 11 years.

I feel so sick to my stomache.

This is about a month after I returned home from a failed attempt at working in the film industry in Vancouver(after first going to film school). I'm massively in debt(55grand) and once again back in sh*tty Hamilton Ontario living with my parents and uneployed. All my friends have moved away so i have nothing that resembles a social life.

I turn 28 in two weeks.

This isn't a suicidal call for help. But man. I really just wish my life would hurry up and end already. Cuz things keep going from bad to worse to pathetic.
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Old 07-21-2013, 07:01 PM   #2
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Tomorrow's gonna be another day. I hope it treats you better than the last few.
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Old 07-21-2013, 07:06 PM   #3
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That sucks man... Best you can do for yourself is get a job, this way you can get your life back together, AND make new friends..

Things will suck for a while but eventually you will find joy in new things and things will hurt less...
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Old 07-21-2013, 08:10 PM   #4
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So why did you two break up?
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Old 07-21-2013, 10:18 PM   #5
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For a relationship that long I guarantee its that she's still a girlfriend and not a wife and didn't see that future coming anytime soon.
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Old 07-21-2013, 10:31 PM   #6
Krutch
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Actually a bit of the opposite. I really wanted to marry her, and was vocal about it, but she felt she had to live on her own since she never had a chance to discover who she was without me. She's also entering her second year of school of deep wilderness search and rescue and plans on travelling the world when she's done.
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Old 07-21-2013, 10:35 PM   #7
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So is there still a chance of you two getting back together in the future? There's no other guy that she's interested in, right?
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Old 07-21-2013, 10:41 PM   #8
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I'd like to think there's a chance, but she seems pretty intent on moving on. There's no other guy that I know of other than the usual swarm of guys in her school(she's gorgeous and always has a little group of guys who like her wherever she goes).
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Old 07-21-2013, 10:44 PM   #9
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Man, that seriously sucks. I'm not very good with words but things will get better.

Not sure if this is any help but, this is something I listen too when I am feeling really down and life just doesn't seem worth it...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UN8oL...vgMYP1&index=1
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Old 07-21-2013, 10:49 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Krutch View Post
I'd like to think there's a chance, but she seems pretty intent on moving on. There's no other guy that I know of other than the usual swarm of guys in her school(she's gorgeous and always has a little group of guys who like her wherever she goes).
Ah, well see where this goes. 11 years is a long time to know someone too who isn't a family member. Sucks, man
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Old 07-22-2013, 08:26 AM   #11
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Whoa. That sucks, Krutch. I can't imagine what you're going through, and I'm sorry that it had to happen to you. I've been with my BF for ten years, and our relationship is still going strong. It's sad that your GF doesn't want to get married right now, but I don't think she should have broken up with you over it. Hell, my BF and I aren't ready for marriage, but we know that eventually it may happen.

I hope that your GF will get back together with you because you don't deserve that type of treatment from her. And if you don't get back together, maybe it was for the best, you know? I'll keep you in my thoughts.
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Old 07-23-2013, 09:57 AM   #12
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I could post some long and self-indulgent message about having felt the same way, about it being a part of life, about love and loss, etc, etc. But the truth is: it's your pain and no one will feel it quite the way you do. Others can only empathize.

There's nothing worse than heartbreak and jealousy (sexual and romantic). Listen to some melancholy tunes and take the time to wallow if you feel like it. It's your right.
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Old 07-23-2013, 10:20 AM   #13
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I had a roommate commit suicide so I strongly suggest against it, and this is coming from someone who has had his heart broken a number of times and battled with depression/mania for many many years... so if you are having thoughts like that I'm not in any position to judge you.

From the little bit you said about her, it seems like this girl doesn't really know what she wants and may even be having some sort of early mid-life crisis of sorts... I'm not going to try to tell you what you should do or say that she must have some sort of issue, people have to do what is best for them... just seems like she could have saved both of you a lot of trouble after a year or two if she wasn't sure that she wanted to be in it as a permanent thing. As far as the debt goes, I'm sure you have some options... I for one only have several thousand dollars of debt, so I'm in no position to tell you "it will get better" but I'm sure you have options of some sort, like declaring bankruptcy or working out some sort of plan where you only have to pay off a small amount of it at a time.
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Old 07-23-2013, 10:36 AM   #14
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I'm massively in debt(55grand)

Wow. I'd start looking for a way to lower that ASAP. Best thing to do would be to take up some crappy job to help pay that off.
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Old 07-23-2013, 04:37 PM   #15
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It gets better. I know your feels - I broke up with my ex-fiancé after five years, then lost my job in Toronto, where I'd lived for 10 years, and had to go back to live with my grandmother, in my s*tty backwater Texas hometown, also at 28. I have a new boyfriend and job now, and while life isn't perfect, it never is - but it does get better sooner or later.

I'd *hugs* you, but not sure about that on a tough manly forum like this.
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Old 07-24-2013, 11:23 PM   #16
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Forgive me if I come off like an asshole, but I feel like you need someone to kick you in the f*cking junk rather than someone to say "there there!" and pat you on the shoulder.

I think her leaving had a ton to do with the fact that you're almost 28, don't have a job, are hugely in debt and had to move back in with your parents on the other side of the country. I don't think you should comfort yourself into thinking it's because she had all these other worldly experiences to have, it's only going to do more damage to you.

The straight truth is that she probably left you because you don't have your **** together. Straighten the f*ck up, get a job, consolidate your debt and get it going again. Life f*cking sucks sometimes and the only thing we can do is keep pushing. I hit the bottom of that goddamn barrel really hard at one point and nobody helped me but me. Work your way through it and you'll be a better person once you come out the other side.
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Old 07-25-2013, 05:05 AM   #17
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Cooooooold-blooded!

But yeah, what he said. Gotta pull yourself together. Seems like you need to focus on yourself for a while before bringing someone else into the picture. Get that job and start paying off those loans. That's going to be a big boat anchor for years to come, but it's manageable once you find that well-paying job.

Failure sucks, but last I checked, you're still alive. Keep at it!
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Old 08-15-2013, 10:55 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Krutch View Post
...Allow me to vent.

My girlfriend and I broke up today. We've been dating for 11 years.

I feel so sick to my stomache.

This is about a month after I returned home from a failed attempt at working in the film industry in Vancouver(after first going to film school). I'm massively in debt(55grand) and once again back in sh*tty Hamilton Ontario living with my parents and uneployed. All my friends have moved away so i have nothing that resembles a social life.

I turn 28 in two weeks.

This isn't a suicidal call for help. But man. I really just wish my life would hurry up and end already. Cuz things keep going from bad to worse to pathetic.
Nothing and nobody is worth killing yourself over. Live as long as you can and you will win in the end.
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Old 08-28-2013, 03:10 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peanut View Post
The straight truth is that she probably left you because you don't have your **** together. Straighten the f*ck up, get a job, consolidate your debt and get it going again. Life f*cking sucks sometimes and the only thing we can do is keep pushing. I hit the bottom of that goddamn barrel really hard at one point and nobody helped me but me. Work your way through it and you'll be a better person once you come out the other side.
I hate to say it but Peanut is right.
I had a similar situation happen to me after dating someone for 4 years and in the end it all came down to me not having my **** together. She grew up and I didn't.
You have to rediscover your life without her. It'll be hard because it's like going through withdrawal, this person became so much a part of your life, that when you broke up you felt a part of you died with it (I did at least) . So you're gonna have to learn to live it without her, as hard as that'll be and move on. Things happen for a reason.
I know as much as I loved her I knew that we'd be better off our separate ways.
A few terrible mistakes and some serendipitous events later I am a better person and know more about myself than before.
Just stop pittying yourself and pick yourself up.
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Old 09-04-2013, 10:11 AM   #20
Whatswiththeheadbands?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peanut View Post
Forgive me if I come off like an asshole, but I feel like you need someone to kick you in the f*cking junk rather than someone to say "there there!" and pat you on the shoulder.

I think her leaving had a ton to do with the fact that you're almost 28, don't have a job, are hugely in debt and had to move back in with your parents on the other side of the country. I don't think you should comfort yourself into thinking it's because she had all these other worldly experiences to have, it's only going to do more damage to you.

The straight truth is that she probably left you because you don't have your **** together. Straighten the f*ck up, get a job, consolidate your debt and get it going again. Life f*cking sucks sometimes and the only thing we can do is keep pushing. I hit the bottom of that goddamn barrel really hard at one point and nobody helped me but me. Work your way through it and you'll be a better person once you come out the other side.
woah there! thats abit harsh, isn't it?

although, you possibly are right, Krutch should keep pushing, you never know what happens in life
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