American Pie 5

[Andrew NDB]

It's on the way:

https://www.darkhorizons.com/another...lm-on-the-way/

[CyberCubed]

Aren't these guys all middle age now? I guess it could be about their kids.

[Andrew NDB]

Originally Posted by CyberCubed

Aren't these guys all middle age now? I guess it could be about their kids.

It'd be about a bunch of 10 year olds, then. I mean, if it's like "Good Boys" then OK.

[frank_one]

As far as we know this could be just another spin-off with no comeback from the main series. All those guys are around 45 years old now.

[Andrew NDB]

Originally Posted by frank_one

As far as we know this could be just another spin-off with no comeback from the main series. All those guys are around 45 years old now.

No, it'd be a core series sequel for sure. Even the Cobra Kai guys were talking about maybe getting around to this (they did the last one), though I don't see their names on it.

[Leo656]

Even the first one wasn't any good outside of Naked Shannon Elizabeth in her prime (I could be shooting dust but that sh*t will ALWAYS manage to get a few more drops outta me ) and the "Flute up my pussy" line, which isn't as big a deal once you know it's coming.

I'unno. People insist to me that those movies, or at least the first one, are some kind of comedic masterpieces but I think I was like about three years too old for the first one by the time it came out because I really didn't think it was very funny. Saw the second one once on cable and was like "Jesus Christ this really shouldn't be a f*cking franchise" and never bothered with the rest.

I can't say it surprises me that they'd try and find a way to do more stuff in this... "universe", or whatever, but it does deeply disappoint me that Hollywood is so bankrupt and starved for ideas that literally every single thing that ever made a buck is getting another shot at life, even the stuff that was lame or awful.

I guess it is pretty weird that I hate them. I love tits and I can be pretty juvenile at times, but I sincerely did not think the first movie presented well at all. ((Shrug))

[Sumac]

Originally Posted by Leo656

Even the first one wasn't any good outside of Naked Shannon Elizabeth in her prime (I could be shooting dust but that sh*t will ALWAYS manage to get a few more drops outta me ) and the "Flute up my pussy" line, which isn't as big a deal once you know it's coming.

I'unno. People insist to me that those movies, or at least the first one, are some kind of comedic masterpieces but I think I was like about three years too old for the first one by the time it came out because I really didn't think it was very funny. Saw the second one once on cable and was like "Jesus Christ this really shouldn't be a f*cking franchise" and never bothered with the rest.

I can't say it surprises me that they'd try and find a way to do more stuff in this... "universe", or whatever, but it does deeply disappoint me that Hollywood is so bankrupt and starved for ideas that literally every single thing that ever made a buck is getting another shot at life, even the stuff that was lame or awful.

I guess it is pretty weird that I hate them. I love tits and I can be pretty juvenile at times, but I sincerely did not think the first movie presented well at all. ((Shrug))

You are a hipster!

[Leo656]

I do own a fedora but I was 10 and I needed it for Dick Tracy cosplay.

Nah I seriously don't know why that movie not only doesn't hit with me, but actively puts me in a bad mood if it's on. I know it's illogical, given that I'm pretty lowbrow sometimes. It is admittedly a bit strange.

I'm weird. I definitely know my own tastes but I am often at a loss as to explain them, at least insofar as why I don't like something. Explaining what I like about something is easy, if I hate something it can sometimes just be more of a gut feeling thing. "This movie does not spark Joy."

I mean it's not even a terrible movie or anything, objectively. But all the same, I would never, ever, for the rest of my life, ever watch it by choice. And y'know... I can't really explain why that is, I just know it's pretty definitive.

[Andrew NDB]

The first two seemed pretty amazing as a kid, but in watching them all a year or two ago again (and I'd never seen the last one)... kinda meh. With some very funny moments in the mix. generally. Though there's a comfort food sort of aspect to checking in with these characters every decade or so.

Also, who knew Natasha Lyonne would be the most successful one of the bunch?

[Leo656]

Who knew Hannigan was gonna pop out a couple'a pups and get a big ol' gut? That's kind of a heartbreaker. I mean I know she was never "hot" in the conventional sense but sometimes I get it really bad for a "plain-looking" type. Also, redhead.

I mean she's still a delight whenever I see her on that Penn & Teller thing, but yeah, she's got that whole weird "the rest of her body is still 'hot' but she also has a very thick midsection" thing happening. I notice they try and mostly shoot her from tits-up anymore, but some of those wide shots do her no favors. And even then, if you start with the legs it's fine, but then you get past the beltline and it's like "Yow, are you like addicted to crackers or something?" And then you get to the tits and it's like "Ah, okay, yeah, that's nice." And it's not like she has flabby arms of a turkey neck or anything. Just that weird, bizarre, "Hot Body/Big Gut" thing, like someone green-screened someone else's belly onto the rest of her body as a gag. It's weird looking!

Not saying I wouldn't still smash, I'm just saying, her proportions are off nowadays and it f*cks with the optics.

Originally Posted by Andrew NDB

Also, who knew Natasha Lyonne would be the most successful one of the bunch?

Considering all the heroin it took her to get that far, I don't think the rest of them are sweating it.

Let's face it, "Success" is relative. Yeah, she's done more stuff. But like every other addict - and she was BAD - she's gonna spend her entire life no matter what only being one bad day from sticking a needle in her arm.

Conversely, I think Hannigan for example is perfectly fine to have had a less noteworthy career but also not had to deal with all the general junkie-ness that Lyonne had. I do not think she (or anyone else in the cast) would wish to trade lives with Natasha Lyonne, let's just put it that way.

[Andrew NDB]

Originally Posted by Leo656

Who knew Hannigan was gonna pop out a couple'a pups and get a big ol' gut? That's kind of a heartbreaker. I mean I know she was never "hot" in the conventional sense but sometimes I get it really bad for a "plain-looking" type. Also, redhead.

I mean she's still a delight whenever I see her on that Penn & Teller thing, but yeah, she's got that whole weird "the rest of her body is still 'hot' but she also has a very thick midsection" thing happening. I notice they try and mostly shoot her from tits-up anymore, but some of those wide shots do her no favors. And even then, if you start with the legs it's fine, but then you get past the beltline and it's like "Yow, are you like addicted to crackers or something?" And then you get to the tits and it's like "Ah, okay, yeah, that's nice." And it's not like she has flabby arms of a turkey neck or anything. Just that weird, bizarre, "Hot Body/Big Gut" thing, like someone green-screened someone else's belly onto the rest of her body as a gag. It's weird looking!

Not saying I wouldn't still smash, I'm just saying, her proportions are off nowadays and it f*cks with the optics.

Haven't seen any recent Hannigan stuff to judge. Part of me doesn't want to, as she was amazing on Buffy and a big charm.

Considering all the heroin it took her to get that far, I don't think the rest of them are sweating it.

Let's face it, "Success" is relative. Yeah, she's done more stuff.

Not even "more." Probably 5 head guy or fired from 2012 TMNT pie guy has done more projects than her by number, but Russian Doll. A juggernaut on Netflix. Two seasons now and pretty awesome (I've seen both, very intelligently sarcastic and also super sci-fi), and not only is she the lead in it but directed every episode this last season. None of those cats from American Pie have come anywhere close to this.

But like every other addict - and she was BAD - she's gonna spend her entire life no matter what only being one bad day from sticking a needle in her arm.

Savage.

[Leo656]

Originally Posted by Andrew NDB

Haven't seen any recent Hannigan stuff to judge. Part of me doesn't want to, as she was amazing on Buffy and a big charm.

She's still VERY "cute" and like I said, from certain angles you can't tell she gained weight since it's only in certain places. But when she stands sideways and they get her in the wide shot, yeah. She's not "fat" by any means but her gut area is rather boxy now. Still has nice legs and boobs, though, and her face is fine. Her hair got much, much better since she grew it out and has (I assume) better stylists now.

I mean people get old, it happens. But yeah she definitely is by no means repulsive, she just has Mom Gut and it looks weird because she used to be so slender and the rest of her still is.

Originally Posted by Andrew NDB

Savage.

Considering the number of heroin addicts in my own family I had to bury I consider myself as much, if not more of an "expert" as the so-called "specialists" with degrees, which is also why I talk that kinda sh*t. The "experts" might know a little bit more about the brain chemistry because of what they read in books, but I've gotten some of them to admit they never even had any prolonged exposure with any addict who wasn't a patient, or maybe they knew one in their own family when they were very young and don't fully remember the experience. I tell everyone I meet, no matter how they try and spin it to a more positive light: Every single heroin addict remains "broken" for their entire lives and spends a great deal of their time actively having to talk themselves into NOT using again. You NEVER "recover", not even if you get clean. And most of them DON'T get clean, they just get discreet. And if you DO actually live with or around these people, especially for a long time, every single ounce of "compassion or understanding" in your heart for them will be completely burned out of you in short order, no matter how much you love them deep down inside.

I mean, I was in a rehab center for two weeks, for mental stuff not drug stuff, but they put everyone in the same groups. Several were there for heroin addiction, and some were rather hostile about the sunshine-y "We're gonna get you better and then your life is gonna be great" attitude of the staff. They'd be like, "Have YOU ever done dope? No? Then WHAT the F*CK do you even know about it? Where do you get off telling me I'm gonna be 'fine'? I'm gonna be dealing with this sh*t for the rest of my f*cking life, I can't even take a f*cking Percocet if I have surgery or I'm gonna be sticking needles in myself again. Don't tell me you're gonna teach me 'coping skills' and that fixes everything, I hate myself and I wanna die and your f*cking 'positive' attitude isn't helping!" That's the reality, from people who lived it.

So yeah, I'm very harsh on people who've done heroin, because it only ever ends one way and therefore by definition you MUST be a complete f*cking idiot to think you're gonna be the First Person In History to do heroin and not have your life be completely and irreversibly ruined. Again, even if they have money and fame, all it takes is a bad day or some bad friends and next thing you know you're Philip Seymore Hoffman.

It's a bad scene, man. You gotta be "in" it or adjacent to it to understand the horrifying reality. Those people never truly "get better", and that's a shame, but it's also 100% their own fault, which makes it even worse.

[Andrew NDB]

Well sh**, man. I got nothing. That really sucks. I haven't ever met anyone that's even done any heroin beyond me suspecting. Probably the "night people" around my house setting up RVs that get chased out that come back continually.

[Leo656]

It's awful. I once watched my Mom try and eat a cupcake by pushing it through her face. She fell asleep like that, woke up a few hours later and wondered who the f*ck was the asshole who smashed a cupcake on her face. I said "You, you're the asshole" and walked away. She didn't used to be like that. She made some bad friends, decided she was "just gonna try" something and then was dead in less than three years.

Her twin sister didn't even go to her funeral. Because she couldn't get out of bed, because she was too smacked up. That was her "coping" with her sister's death.

Same Aunt's first husband died of a heroin OD. Allegedly, first time he ever tried it. Whoops.

Same aunt's second husband killed himself after several attempts. First time, he was so despondent over his heroin addiction, he shot himself in the chest in the bathtub while his 3-year old son was in the next room. He recovered from that, eventually "got clean"... from heroin. But not from Morphine, which they gave him to try and "clean up" or wean off of heroin. So instead one day he just said "f*ck it", OD'ed on the morphine, and died.

His son never emotionally recovered from his father's suicide, has had a completely rotten life and miserable, and is now a grown man and - as you may have guessed - also addicted to heroin. None of us expect him to live long.

Not heroin, but another "fun" addiction story, a cousin of mine stole a lot of money from another cousin and maxed it all out buying coke. He sobered up and asked my cousin to forgive him, she said it was probably going to take a long time. He couldn't handle that, so he blew his own head off rather than live with the guilt.

My wife's grandmother was a great lady who'd do anything for her family, especially her grandkids. Some of those grandkids got hooked on smack, and started breaking into her house to rob her blind, over and over again. They'd get arrested, sent to jail, get out, "get clean", beg forgiveness, 6 months later they'd rob her again. She fed and changed them as babies and then they're 21 stealing cash and jewelry from a 90-year old woman, over and over and over again, because "they have a prooooooblem. They're siiiick." And she always forgave them. I said flat out, "I refuse to ever be anyplace they're going to be, because I will f*cking bury them." They're still alive, still in and out of jail. Their parents and other relatives keep bailing them out and giving them places to live and in turn getting robbed and f*cked over, endlessly. After over a decade of this it's pretty obvious nothing will change... other than Gram died so they can't specifically rob HER anymore. All the jewelry and heirlooms she was going to leave for my wife and her mother... gone, because of her junkie grandkids. The "inheritance" my wife and her mom got, subsequently, was mostly dishes.

That doesn't even get into the women my Dad dated, their kids, their friends, or a number of people I went to school with who are now dead. I know an unfortunate number of junkies and addicts. Intimately. As in "Forced to live with or be around very often over a period of years" type of intimately.

That's the only way you learn the Truth about "the disease" of addiction, and it's not the bleeding heart stuff. You do not "recover" from heroin, it owns you forever until you die. Even if you're not doing it, you're thinking about it. Some of the guys in rehab were like, "I haven't done smack in months/years/misc. But at any minute of any day, I know exactly how long it'd take to get some and exactly where I'd have to go, and I really wish I could get to a place mentally where I'm not even thinking about it but it just isn't even possible."

It's like that with crack and coke for the most part, too, but of course heroin comes with the added bonus that it can very easily kill you the very first time you do it, which is less likely with the rest but still possible. And now there's f*cking Fentanyl, which is... don't even get me started.

So yeah, my point is that "Basketball Diaries" is practically a documentary. That sh*t is the Reality.

[ProphetofGanja]

Originally Posted by Leo656

It's awful... I know an unfortunate number of junkies and addicts. Intimately.

That sucks. Addiction is a hell of a thing. I've seen it eat a fair number of people alive, too, before finally killing them. Of all the people I met in rehab that I still keep in touch with (are Facebook friends with, basically), only a few are still alive and kicking.

Originally Posted by Leo656

Even the first one wasn't any good outside of Naked Shannon Elizabeth in her prime

Ah, memories