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#21 |
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Moderator
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Location: Charlotte, NC USA
Posts: 913
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Leo
If your dad sells and does drugs, why do you continue to live with him and support him? Let him live on his own and pay his own frickin debts. Sounds like you would be much better off on your own without your dad to bring you down. I assume since your dad spends all his money on smack that your paying all of the bills with your job. Get the **** out of there and go live on your own. Don't let him continue to ruin your life.
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#22 |
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Handsomest Boy in School
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Location: The Realm of SJW
Posts: 4,642
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Leo, if you have your Hell in life you need not fear Hell in death.
It just so happens that my chances of having a house are growing slimmer by the day. But thats because I'm the screw up. So I can kind of relate. |
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#23 |
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Banned
![]() Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: nWo Country
Posts: 27,703
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Basically, cuz Jersey sucks and I can't afford to live on my own on what I make at my job. Dad's disability check covers the rent, I pay for food and all the bills. On my own, though, I simply could not afford to because my job is not a guaranteed steady 40-hour week job. Last week I did not work a single day. And considering how lousy the economy out here is, I'm lucky I even have what I have...
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#24 | |
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Handsomest Boy in School
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Location: The Realm of SJW
Posts: 4,642
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#25 |
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tOkKie-Pokie,puddin'n PIE
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Location: Pajamas out of the water on the elephant was sweating a lemon.
Posts: 1,729
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#26 |
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Stone Warrior
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: I would tell you, but i fear an attack of AOL Trial CDs.
Posts: 665
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Get away from There Leo... Your dad is going to hell anyway.
Move to new york. Stay away from your awful person of a father... and might i say its easier to get a job here. I live in NY thats how i know. |
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#27 |
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Foot Elite
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Location: Angel Land
Posts: 4,150
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heres an idea. pry a bad one, but it's something
what if you stayed with people in the jersey area untill you get a more stable job? it's a long shot, but it might work *shrug*. If anything jumping from house to house would be better than sleeping in a dumpster. |
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#28 | |
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Mad Scientist
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Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,753
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#29 |
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Banned
![]() Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: nWo Country
Posts: 27,703
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Depends how you look at it. My father won an accident lawsuit and was awarded a lump sum of money, part of which ($14 thousand) was specefically supposed to be used for me as his dependent, was set aside in a seperate bank account, etc. At around the same time he was awarded government disability due to his heart condition, and we both got monthly checks in the mail (again, mine being equal to about half of his monthly check as his dependent, and would arrive until I turned 18 ). That money was supposed to be for me to buy a car, have SOME money for college, and so on. Instead, once his money was all pissed away he started making me pay all the bills he ran up, and then as I said above, when I was on vacation he went into the savings and practically cleaned it out to buy drugs for him and his girlfriend. That's how that story went. Along with the customary "me kicking his ass" part of it. ("Honor your mother and father"? What a crock of sh*t, there's no one alive I hate more)
That's the reason I'm so bitter, jaded, and fed up: because nothing that's ever happened to me in life has been MY fault, instead I've spent my whole life paying for other people's mistakes. Which is why I don't think or care that God exists, and thus why "keeping the faith" is pointless: if there's a God, he's either completely uninterested at best, or a complete jerkoff at worst. So to hell with keeping the faith. After 21 years of hoping things would suddenly get better I doubt anything's going to change now. |
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#30 |
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Honey Bunches
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Location: Lone Star State
Posts: 5,840
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I don't really know what to say about this. Again, like you say, some faceless internet person isn't going to solve the problem. But, as a person who has had a gun shoved into the side of his head, I can say that I value life so much and it often saddens me to see people so willing to throw theirs away. You've had a rough life, and it shows, but killing yourself is just... I don't know, there is no justified reason for it.
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#31 |
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Banned
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Location: nWo Country
Posts: 27,703
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There's no justified reason for a lot of things that happen, Matt. Things just happen, and there's no rhyme nor reason for a lot of it. And it sucks when the wrong people are made to suffer, but what can one do?
I'm glad other people can still find reasons to be happy, but I never am really and haven't been for a long, long time. |
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#32 | |
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Mad Scientist
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Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,753
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#33 |
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Banned
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Location: nWo Country
Posts: 27,703
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I would have if I could have, believe me. I hate him more than anyone I've ever met in my entire life. If I could have left, I would have, but things aren't that simple. It's easy to say "just do it", but when you're juggling a job and a relationship (well, I won't have to worry about the relationship anymore) and trying (and failing) to save money and battling an illness and.... it's just not as easy as people think, is all.
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#34 |
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Stone Warrior
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: I would tell you, but i fear an attack of AOL Trial CDs.
Posts: 665
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Oh yeah...
MTN889's Suck Factor: 99/100 |
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#35 |
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Banned
![]() Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 3,851
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MTN: What?
Matt: Refresh my memory; just WHY was a gun pointed at, or rather practically lodged in, you head again? |
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#36 | |
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Handsomest Boy in School
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: The Realm of SJW
Posts: 4,642
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#37 |
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Inactive Moderator
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: California!
Posts: 11,101
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It seems kinda silly to type up a whole message just to say that I have nothing to say about this, but there you have it.
Don't know how much this would mean to you, but *I'd* miss you. I've treaded the thin line between good life/bad life for pretty much forever. Seems that whenever this family tries to get ahead, something else happens. Car breaks, child goes into a coma, computer breaks, child gets diabetes, all built in lighting in the house shorts out, child gets cancer... I've been trying since 18 to get out of this place, and I know it's not as easy as "just do it". I just keep going, because there ain't no way I'm letting "Them" win. |
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#38 |
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Foot Soldier
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Posts: 246
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Sorry, I'm honestly sorry for being so harsh. Just kinda pushed my button, I'm tired of everyone in this world giving up. From little things to big things it seems people just decide to stop and let whatever it is happen with no resistance. Your original post read just like that.
I guess with me sadness turns to anger; I think I got it from my Dad. I don't think I have to elaborate on that, it never occured to me I'd pick up some of his undesirable traits. I've got to stop that. You seem like an intelligent person and I personally think you can make it and you certaintly seem smart enought to not kill yourself. It seems like you don't beleive in God, but I do, and I'll definetely keep you in my prayers.
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"Sorry I'm late. I was out saving your life, in the future!" - Space Ghost |
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#39 |
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Banned
![]() Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: nWo Country
Posts: 27,703
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I appreciate that. I mean, I'm not gonna tell people to stop caring, and I do appreciate those that do. Everyone deals with things differently. I'm just tired of dealing, period. If one more thing goes wrong I seriously don't know WHAT's going to happen. Between me soon to be evicted and my EX-fiancee already dating someone else less than 24 hours after we broke up, I don't know what else I can take.
It just kind of irks me that the only people who actively raise their voices in protest to whether I live or die are people on the internet who I've never even met. My closest friends are internet friends. I have ones who write me letters, send me presents, and I've never even seen them face to face. As much as I appreciate it, it bothers me that no one I know in real life cares that much. I don't know... I'm really drunk right now. |
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#40 |
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The Thread Killer
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: In the back of the cave.... lurking.
Posts: 2,617
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hmmm...someone once told me "the sun can't always shine, but it can't always rain either" I have yet to figure out if thats true........
well Leo...at least you have friends even if, like you said, you have never met them face to face.......maybe you have just been hanging with the wrong friends? find people who only want to lift you up and sing your praises Leo (well you know what i mean) anyone who drags you down with them can't be to good for you. |
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