Life as it is (long and sad)

Blaze DTGG · 01-02-2004, 02:05 AM

As many of you are aware my Grandfather recently passed away. What most of you don't know is the whole story. I think I am ready to talk because who knows. anything is possible and for all i know, I could die tomorrow.

My grandparents raised me as a child so my mom could finish scool, work and trie to make a better life for us. I don't know my biological father and the man I call dad she did not marry until i was 2 years old.
My grandparents meant more to me than most people can understand. By the time you reach the age I am now. Most peoples grandparents are either dead already or they just aren't close to them.
This is not the case with me. They remained an importand influence throughout my entire life. My grandfather taught me to read and instilled the love of word in me before I was even in kindergarden. I never would have picked up a pen and wrote my first short stories as a child if it had not been for him. He also taought me to sing. Very few people know how much music means to me. Music is my life. I play a variety of instruments and sing every chance i get. Music calms me when i am tense. It energizes me when i need a boost. I cannot life without music in my life. and I owe that to my grandada. He was a war veteran and lost many things during that time. He taught me most of what i hold dear. Along with my father who is also a military man. they helped instil in me the knowladge of right and wrong. Most of my Personal code of honor I owe to them. I am who I am today because of not just my parents but my grand parents as well.
My granny was the one who taught me kindness and love. she had endless amounts of love and patience. which is probably where I get my endless amounts of patience. Her and my mom helped bring out everything that is good and kind in me. Which most people dont get to see that side of me because frankly the world had turned to ****. and not just in my own life.

When my grandfather passed away my Granny was in the hospital. but she was doing ok. I missed my grandads funeral. he had a full military funeral, complete with 21 gun salute and honor guard. he was burried with honors on sacred ground. with some of Texas's other great war heros. I know my ganddads war stories but this is not the time for that. Anyway, she was in the hosptial but she was ok. then hings started to not be so ok. by wed. of this week she had slipped into a coma. thursday morning they pulled her plugs. thursday afternoon around 1pm. she passed away.

I have now lost 2 of the most important people in my life in less than a month. and the most tragic thing about al of this. is before i moved here to Utah. I had a falling out with my grandfather. I never got to say Im sorry, I never got to say goodbye. I also havent seen my grandmother since I moved...... these are things I will have to live with for the rest of my life. things I will carry with me to the grave. Hopefully. I will be lucky like my friend Matt and Die young. but stubborn onrey people like me tend to live forever.

**ThirdMarioBro** · 01-02-2004, 02:11 AM

My God dude, I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even begin to comprehend how you feel. You're in my prayers.

*damnhooligan* · 01-02-2004, 08:26 AM

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Though you may not have been able to make your peace with your grandfather, perhaps it's best to think that all of the good times outweigh the bad. I like to think that all (grand)parents know that despite arguements, squabbles and the likes, that their (grand)children still love them unconditionally.

My condolences and best wishes during this hardship. I, too, have lost loved ones without being able to patch up loose ends or say goodbye. It's upsetting, unnerving and most of all, frustrating because there is nothing we can do about it. Best of luck, Blaze.

*Raven* · 01-02-2004, 01:42 PM

oh man that sucks, im really sorry to hear about that.

*Stone Ill* · 01-02-2004, 03:39 PM

There is nothing I can say that will make you feel better. I'm sorry for your loss.

*Mars-Chan* · 01-02-2004, 10:23 PM

Blaze...*hugs*
Hon...I know exactly how you feel. On my dad's side of the family, we only have my grandmother left....not to mention my uncle.

On my mom's side of the family, we have my aunt, uncles, my grandmother and grandfather, and others.

Blaze...you know how hard it is to lose a loved one. I do too. It tears a hole in your heart that cannot be healed over time because someone you love that was so close to you will never be seen or heard from again. I am VERY sorry for your loss. At least you know this much, you have a forum sister that you can PM and talk about it to make the pain less hard for you to deal with.

MTN889 · 01-02-2004, 10:31 PM

dont die young.

Im sorry to hear your loss, you're in my prayers

*JameO* · 01-02-2004, 10:48 PM

My prayers are with you. Or atleast I think they are if not they will be coming your way. "Don't Die Young"

01-02-2004, 02:05 AM	#1
Blaze DTGG Stone Warrior Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 673	Life as it is (long and sad) As many of you are aware my Grandfather recently passed away. What most of you don't know is the whole story. I think I am ready to talk because who knows. anything is possible and for all i know, I could die tomorrow. My grandparents raised me as a child so my mom could finish scool, work and trie to make a better life for us. I don't know my biological father and the man I call dad she did not marry until i was 2 years old. My grandparents meant more to me than most people can understand. By the time you reach the age I am now. Most peoples grandparents are either dead already or they just aren't close to them. This is not the case with me. They remained an importand influence throughout my entire life. My grandfather taught me to read and instilled the love of word in me before I was even in kindergarden. I never would have picked up a pen and wrote my first short stories as a child if it had not been for him. He also taought me to sing. Very few people know how much music means to me. Music is my life. I play a variety of instruments and sing every chance i get. Music calms me when i am tense. It energizes me when i need a boost. I cannot life without music in my life. and I owe that to my grandada. He was a war veteran and lost many things during that time. He taught me most of what i hold dear. Along with my father who is also a military man. they helped instil in me the knowladge of right and wrong. Most of my Personal code of honor I owe to them. I am who I am today because of not just my parents but my grand parents as well. My granny was the one who taught me kindness and love. she had endless amounts of love and patience. which is probably where I get my endless amounts of patience. Her and my mom helped bring out everything that is good and kind in me. Which most people dont get to see that side of me because frankly the world had turned to ***. and not just in my own life. When my grandfather passed away my Granny was in the hospital. but she was doing ok. I missed my grandads funeral. he had a full military funeral, complete with 21 gun salute and honor guard. he was burried with honors on sacred ground. with some of Texas's other great war heros. I know my ganddads war stories but this is not the time for that. Anyway, she was in the hosptial but she was ok. then hings started to not be so ok. by wed. of this week she had slipped into a coma. thursday morning they pulled her plugs. thursday afternoon around 1pm. she passed away. I have now lost 2 of the most important people in my life in less than a month. and the most tragic thing about al of this. is before i moved here to Utah. I had a falling out with my grandfather. I never got to say Im sorry, I never got to say goodbye. I also havent seen my grandmother since I moved...... these are things I will have to live with for the rest of my life. things I will carry with me to the grave. Hopefully. I will be lucky like my friend Matt and Die young. but stubborn onrey people like me tend to live forever. __________________ "Life's a Btch, and then you hit it on the nose with a rolled up newspaper for pissing on the carpet"

01-02-2004, 02:11 AM	#2
ThirdMarioBro Tea Time! Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 8,905	My God dude, I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even begin to comprehend how you feel. You're in my prayers. __________________

01-02-2004, 08:26 AM	#3
damnhooligan Mad Scientist Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Dorksville, USA Posts: 1,745	I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Though you may not have been able to make your peace with your grandfather, perhaps it's best to think that all of the good times outweigh the bad. I like to think that all (grand)parents know that despite arguements, squabbles and the likes, that their (grand)children still love them unconditionally. My condolences and best wishes during this hardship. I, too, have lost loved ones without being able to patch up loose ends or say goodbye. It's upsetting, unnerving and most of all, frustrating because there is nothing we can do about it. Best of luck, Blaze. __________________

01-02-2004, 01:42 PM	#4
Raven follower of Jesus Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 6,212	oh man that sucks, im really sorry to hear about that. __________________ TMNT Future Despair Deviant Offical Ultimate Ninja Turtles Site!

01-02-2004, 10:23 PM	#6
Mars-Chan I'LL BE THE HERO!!!! Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Practicing Alchemy in Risembool Posts: 6,297	Blaze...hugs Hon...I know exactly how you feel. On my dad's side of the family, we only have my grandmother left....not to mention my uncle. On my mom's side of the family, we have my aunt, uncles, my grandmother and grandfather, and others. Blaze...you know how hard it is to lose a loved one. I do too. It tears a hole in your heart that cannot be healed over time because someone you love that was so close to you will never be seen or heard from again. I am VERY sorry for your loss. At least you know this much, you have a forum sister that you can PM and talk about it to make the pain less hard for you to deal with. __________________ clings to award THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!!! cries in joy RED DAAAAAAAAAAAAWWN!!!! PROUD Member of the Risembool Rangers! (icon made by bakergirl69 on glitter-graphics)

01-02-2004, 03:39 PM	#5
Stone Ill Mad Scientist Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Burlington, Ontario Posts: 2,397	There is nothing I can say that will make you feel better. I'm sorry for your loss.

01-02-2004, 10:31 PM	#7
MTN889 Stone Warrior Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: I would tell you, but i fear an attack of AOL Trial CDs. Posts: 665	dont die young. Im sorry to hear your loss, you're in my prayers

01-02-2004, 10:48 PM	#8
JameO Mad Scientist Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 1,753	My prayers are with you. Or atleast I think they are if not they will be coming your way. "Don't Die Young"