A tale of two toasters

*Anarky* · 09-29-2006, 05:30 PM

So it happened. I read once in a blog of some woman who lives in a warzone that every drop of water is precious and shouldn't be wasted. "Bollocks!" I thought "If you want water, just ask for it from whoever's ruling you this week!" And I was right, it's her own damn fault living in a war. Damn straight. And I'd never have believed her. I mean, we all know she's lying. People in countries with war can't read or write anyways.

But yesterday... a sad moment. And I realized that she was right all along. Because yesterday my toaster blew up. All I wanted to make was one slice of toast and blue sparks along with a power outage on the entire floor made me realize that nothing ever will be the same again. And because it looked so cool, I put the fuse back in and made another spark! Awesome! But even the defibrillator couldn't save the toaster. It died in my arms. It died with the words "I hate y..." on its lips.

At first I thought "Well, get stuffed, you bastard!" and threw it in the dustbin... after trying to let it spark once more. I never expected to miss the aluminum-coated heater of breakfasts, the glorious roaster of bread, the one thing that made the kitchen smell all breakfasty in the morning. But when I got up today, I suddenly realized that I was toasterless because Toasty was dead. Gone forever. And I didn't get my breakfast. I was completely toastless. And cereal wasn't around either. So I had no breakfast. And that made me angry.

And then it finally dawned upon me: The Warwoman was right. Never waste a toaster and always have a backup toaster, just in case. No, seriously, breakfast without toast just ain't breakfast. Luckily, I got me another toaster today. Looks ugly as hell, but has plenty more buttons to try out.

I'll miss you, toaster. God bless you.

Peanut · 09-29-2006, 05:33 PM

Right. Weren't you Captain Anti-Spam at one point?

*Anarky* · 09-29-2006, 05:59 PM

Who said this was spam? I didn't. And since when do I make silly topics? Maybe the meaning's like... totally hidden or something.

*KROW* · 10-01-2006, 12:36 AM

I'm curious. Was this blog you read by the woman, or of the woman, meaning done by someone else?

*Anarky* · 10-01-2006, 12:44 AM

She wrote it herself. So it is "by the woman". And damn, is she right.

*KROW* · 10-01-2006, 01:03 AM

I see... So, she has no water, yet access to a computer.

Interesting.

*Sewer Bull* · 10-01-2006, 01:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KROW

I see... So, she has no water, yet access to a computer.

Interesting.

Had exactly the same thoughts but was ignored

*Anarky* · 10-01-2006, 12:58 PM

It's not like she doesn't have access to water. She just doesn't have water from time to time. Sometimes the water outages last for a day, then for week. Same goes with electricity/internet.

And yes, she is from a weathier family in said country as it's a poorer country with lots of craters these days.

09-29-2006, 05:30 PM	#1
Anarky Outlaw Hero Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Tannhauser Gate Posts: 4,867	A tale of two toasters So it happened. I read once in a blog of some woman who lives in a warzone that every drop of water is precious and shouldn't be wasted. "Bollocks!" I thought "If you want water, just ask for it from whoever's ruling you this week!" And I was right, it's her own damn fault living in a war. Damn straight. And I'd never have believed her. I mean, we all know she's lying. People in countries with war can't read or write anyways. But yesterday... a sad moment. And I realized that she was right all along. Because yesterday my toaster blew up. All I wanted to make was one slice of toast and blue sparks along with a power outage on the entire floor made me realize that nothing ever will be the same again. And because it looked so cool, I put the fuse back in and made another spark! Awesome! But even the defibrillator couldn't save the toaster. It died in my arms. It died with the words "I hate y..." on its lips. At first I thought "Well, get stuffed, you bastard!" and threw it in the dustbin... after trying to let it spark once more. I never expected to miss the aluminum-coated heater of breakfasts, the glorious roaster of bread, the one thing that made the kitchen smell all breakfasty in the morning. But when I got up today, I suddenly realized that I was toasterless because Toasty was dead. Gone forever. And I didn't get my breakfast. I was completely toastless. And cereal wasn't around either. So I had no breakfast. And that made me angry. And then it finally dawned upon me: The Warwoman was right. Never waste a toaster and always have a backup toaster, just in case. No, seriously, breakfast without toast just ain't breakfast. Luckily, I got me another toaster today. Looks ugly as hell, but has plenty more buttons to try out. I'll miss you, toaster. God bless you. __________________ Because it's... I dunno... brutal.

09-29-2006, 05:59 PM	#3
Anarky Outlaw Hero Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Tannhauser Gate Posts: 4,867	Who said this was spam? I didn't. And since when do I make silly topics? Maybe the meaning's like... totally hidden or something. __________________ Because it's... I dunno... brutal.

10-01-2006, 12:36 AM	#4
KROW Meat-n-Potatoes Man Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: State's Anus, NY Posts: 6,472	I'm curious. Was this blog you read by the woman, or of the woman, meaning done by someone else? __________________ - Optimus Acid Trip - Cult of a Half-Shell - Raiden's Bitter Tongue - *I don't try to be funny; I fail at it naturally.*

10-01-2006, 12:44 AM	#5
Anarky Outlaw Hero Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Tannhauser Gate Posts: 4,867	She wrote it herself. So it is "by the woman". And damn, is she right. __________________ Because it's... I dunno... brutal.

10-01-2006, 01:03 AM	#6
KROW Meat-n-Potatoes Man Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: State's Anus, NY Posts: 6,472	I see... So, she has no water, yet access to a computer. Interesting. __________________ - Optimus Acid Trip - Cult of a Half-Shell - Raiden's Bitter Tongue - *I don't try to be funny; I fail at it naturally.*

09-29-2006, 05:33 PM	#2
Peanut Second Gear Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: The New World Posts: 15,422	Right. Weren't you Captain Anti-Spam at one point?

10-01-2006, 12:58 PM	#8
Anarky Outlaw Hero Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Tannhauser Gate Posts: 4,867	It's not like she doesn't have access to water. She just doesn't have water from time to time. Sometimes the water outages last for a day, then for week. Same goes with electricity/internet. And yes, she is from a weathier family in said country as it's a poorer country with lots of craters these days. __________________ Because it's... I dunno... brutal.