Decide Uwe Boll's fate.

[Peanut]

Originally Posted by Raph's Girl

I just have to say this... Who the frak is this Uwe Boll character everyone is talking about??? Never even heard of his movies and till this whole petition came out I've never even heard of him period.

Im not gonna sign any petition. Don't know him or his movies. And since everyone hates em so much I'll just continue to ignore anything he does.

Probably because he's mostly well known in the game community. He has a habit of taking c-string video games and turning them into awful movies.

His most recent was In the Name of the King or whatever, the Dungeon Siege movie. He has also "destroyed" crappy game franchise like Bloodrayne, Postal, House of the Dead, Far Cry and Alone in the Dark.

[AquaParade]

Originally Posted by Spitfire666xXxXx

He's possibly one of the worst film makers of all time*And not in the Ed Wood way* He makes horrid films using Russian tax bonds. Now that doing this is illegal he has to fund them himself. Every movie he's made has bombed, for good reason. His last move will most likely be Postal. He makes crappy video game adaptations mostly.

The best part is he makes crap up to, like he told everyone he was being considered to make the "Metal Gear Solid Movie". Konami flat out said he's the last person they'd ever ask. He's like a 12 year old in an adults body.

Wow...now that...is sad.

[Ninjinister]

Allow me to quote my blog entry of June 6, 2006:

Uwe Boll. Dr. Uwe Boll, that is. How a man with no knack for storytelling achieved a doctorate in literature is mindboggling in and of itself. If you're not familiar with Dr. Boll, let me run some data by you. He's a German director who is hated by moviegoers and hardcore video gamers alike. Because of a German law rewarding investments in film, he is able to recieve constant funding for his consistantly crappy movies. Worse yet, because of said tax laws, he is able to secure the rights for many, many video game licenses. Now let's do the math; his movies keep getting worse. He keeps getting video game licenses. Thus, he keeps making video game movies that are progressively worse. Want some examples? Let's take a look at a few examples.

-House of the Dead, based on Sega's arcade shoot-'em-up game, couldn't have less to do with the games themselves. Except for a fleeting mention at the end of the movie, there is no reference to Sega's series. The titular house doesn't even
appear in the movie, and the plot is so haphazardly cobbled that it could be very well be called "Generic Zombie Flick #2301". Boll tries to back himself up by saying the movie is a prequel. Nice try. It worked with the Resident Evil movie because that flick actually had resemblance to the games. Not so here.

-The cult classic PC game Alone in the Dark also became a movie thanks to Boll. But instead of a gradually unravelling, creepy, involving storyline set in merry old New England, Boll's version takes place in some hyper crappy future community with a queer tentacle monster. And guns. Lots of damn big guns. Oh, and mention must be made that one potential script for the movie was rejected by Boll because "it didn't have enough car chase scenes".

-Bloodrayne, based on Majesco's most popular property, is about a sexy, seductive vampiress who kicks mucho ass. Boll took this character, changed her birthplace, century of birth, and backstory, then meshed a hodgepodge of the two games in with a bunch of plotlines Boll could have only found floating in a public toilet, in with all of it. Although he again bills Bloodrayne as a prequel to the games, the mysterious organization that is very much a presence in the second
Bloodrayne game is destroyed before the movie is over. Worse yet, he attempted to FORCE Majesco to model Rayne (the titular character) after the actress who played her in the movie, for future incarnations of the series. Seriously, Boll,
lay off the crackpipe. You don't get the license for someone's creation and try to make them change it.

What's worse, is the fact that he is a childish, prudent little man. Observe;
-He seems to have sex on the brain all the time. Okay, so most of us do. But he packs his movies FULL of it, even in movies based on games that had NOTHING to do with nudity and sexual situations.
-He fires elementary school-calibur insults and profanity at his critics. Really professional, man. If it weren't for the fact that Boll were affiliated with video games, violence, and sex, I'd think he was in league with
Jack Thompson.
-Boll once reported that he had the license to direct a movie based on the uber-popular Metal Gear Solid franchise. When
creator Hideo Kojima publicly denied this (and seemed VERY offended by it), Boll switched it up, saying he said that he was "in talks" with Kojima Productions. Kojima retaliated by saying that although an MGS movie was in the works, it definately would not be done by Boll.

So there you have it folks. A man who by all logic should have been cut off from funding to produce utter fecal matter of movies, and yet he keeps doing it. He's currently directing a movie based on the PC game series "Dungeon Siege". Will
this movie be a steaming pile of poo as well? Ron Perlman's slated to play in it, but even a man of his grand talents wouldn't be able to save a quickly sinking Boll production. We must just wait and see.

Oh, and if Dr. Uwe Boll himself sees this and believes he has something to say to me, I have just one thing to say to him...
"Bring it on, punk!"

[AquaParade]

Heh..well said. I'll rent a movie of his this weekend...and if it's as garbage as you guys say. I will sign...he certainly has no attitude that makes me wanna help him out.

[R-iZZy]

I still stand by my statement that House of the Dead is the worst movie... ever.

How could one director have such a track record for sh*tty movies? I'm not talking about "that movie was bad" sh*tty; I'm talking "how the f*ck did any human being come to create this utter monstrosity" sh*tty.

Good God, after watching that video, I now know that my toilet isn't the only bowl (Boll) that's full of sh*t.

[Jester]

Dang I just rented (but have yet to watch) In the Name of the King. Oh, well! I rented it for free, the only way to watch truely aweful films.

EDIT: Ok, watched the movie tonight and Spit, I have to have my psudeo-movie buff membership revoked. I liked it. After all I heard I liked In the Name of the King.

[Ninjinister]

The makers of an item currently in my coat pocket give incentive to stop Boll.