bye old friend

[Sage Ninja]

this morning about two hours ago my dog died. It was very sudden and not expected at all and I'm still in shock over it. I've been crying all morning.

My dog was very energitic and happy. He acted like a puppy even though he was a grownup. He was a good dog, he never barked and he made these really adorable happy grunting noises all the time when you pet him. This dog was beautiful I can't believe he is gone, he had human eyes and you can could see how much he loved you when you looked into them. His eyes were a beautiful golden brown and they had so much emotion in them. I've never seen such human eyes on an animal before you could always tell what he was thinking. People can say all they want about pitbulls but this pitbul was the best most loving and protective dog in the world. He loved people he was so affectionate and all he needed to be happy was to have the humans he loved near him. Even if he just met you he would come snuggleing up to you or try to give you his favorite bone.

I don't know what happened he scratched on my door this morning like he always does to be let out, and I did let him outside in the back yard and he ran around happy and energetic like he always did and he was fine. He seemed just fine. I fed him like I always do and went to lay back down for a while. I heard him outside my door and I suddely heard a big crash, like he had rammed himself into the grandmother clock I keep out side my room. It's not unusual for him to try to ram my door to get in so at first I didn't think anything of it. But after lying there for a few minutes I thought something wasn't right, so I opened my door too him and he was collapsed on the floor between the hutch and the dining room table. At first I thought he had just laid down but I knew that wasn't like him and went over to him and I couldn't get him to move or wake him up. I thought he had passed out but I saw that his eyes were opened and I panicked. I thought maybe something had fallen on him, like one of the dining room chairs or the grandmother clock but everything was where it was supposed to and he had no injuries. I called my mom in a panick and she told me call animal control. When the animal control lady showed up she confirmed that my dog was gone. I'm so distraut this was my dog but he was really more of my father and older sister's dog and both are out of town and I don't know how I'm going to tell them. They're both going to be destroyed over this. Every single day both my father and sister would call to ask how the dog was doing and he was doing fine. Our dog was fine. The animal lady said that somthing may have been wrong inside him and that might be why he died because nothing was externally wrong with him. He was the best dog I loved him so much and I feel like I failed my dog and both my sister and father. My father was supposed to come home on wendsday. I don't understand how he can be happy running around the back yard like a puppy then not even an hour later drop dead.

What tears my heart out right now is that the dog died outside my bedroom door, He probably wanted to come inside and be with me. I normally don't allow the dog in my room because he has had a problem with ticks in the past. But I can't help but wish I had let him in so that he could have at least been next to me when he died instead on the floor. That bothers me so much. I loved that dog and he loved me and I feel like I wasn't there for him in the end. My schedual revolved around my dog so that I could take care of him and he always seemed so sad when I had to leave, and he would be sooo happy to see me when I came home. I won't have that any more.

Here is to my dog Vengence, June 11th 2011 age nine I'll miss you

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