How to write Fanfiction

**Kali** · 03-10-2002, 12:48 PM

To all fan fic writers! These are the REAL rules you should write by!

Just thought you might enjoy these.

HOW TO WRITE FANFICTION (sic)
1. Don't let those pesky considerations of how the characters might *really* behave worry you. After all, it's *your* fanfiction, isn't it?
2. They say you should write what you know, so you should always add in at least one character who is heavily based upon yourself, only better, and who bears a name very similar to your own. This person should become the love interest of your favorite character and also save the world.
3. Many people, when criticizing you fic, will expect you to just "roll over" and admit that France is not in Asia. You must not let people walk all over you like that, instead you should lash out violently and repeatedly at any hint of disapproval to your masterpiece.
4. The urge to miraculously fix everyone's problems is a powerful one, and you should give into it as fully as possible.
5. If the creator didn't *want* people to express their bizarre fantasies involving his characters, strange leather objects and possibly certain ice-cream toppings then they just shouldn't make their work public.
6. Plot is a matter of opinion.
7. If you are fanficing something from another country, you should add a few words in that language for realism. Don't worry if you don't know what they mean, if *you* don't speak the language what's the likelihood anyone else will?
8. Never let a good descriptive term go to waste. If you have a favorite feel free to stick it in wherever. If people can have willowy figures why not willowy hair? Or shoes?
9. Eyes and the windows of the soul; they are full of emotion and mystery. In order to convey this properly you must never use so clinical a word as "eyes". Pull out your thesaurus. Get creative. Never say "blue eyes" when you can say "deep cerulean orbs of sight" instead.
10. When you are writing in a relationship between two characters, you should have them jump into bed as soon as possible. Sure, in *real* life relationships develop over time, but that would be pretty dull to write about wouldn't it?
11. Speaking of sex scenes, you should put in as many as you can. This keeps the fic interesting.
12. Don't let yourself get all hung up over things like correct spelling and grammar.
13. Many people make the mistake of turning their work over to a beta or proofreader. Don't fall into this trap, these people will pick apart your baby with their cold-hearted rankings about "plot holes" and "consistincy".
14. Remember, you are the author: That makes you GOD.
_________________
Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself.
Kali Gargoyle's Asylum

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Kali on 2002-03-10 15:39 ]</font>

03-10-2002, 12:48 PM	#1
Kali Inactive Moderator Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: California! Posts: 11,101	To all fan fic writers! These are the REAL rules you should write by! Just thought you might enjoy these. HOW TO WRITE FANFICTION (sic) 1. Don't let those pesky considerations of how the characters might really behave worry you. After all, it's your fanfiction, isn't it? 2. They say you should write what you know, so you should always add in at least one character who is heavily based upon yourself, only better, and who bears a name very similar to your own. This person should become the love interest of your favorite character and also save the world. 3. Many people, when criticizing you fic, will expect you to just "roll over" and admit that France is not in Asia. You must not let people walk all over you like that, instead you should lash out violently and repeatedly at any hint of disapproval to your masterpiece. 4. The urge to miraculously fix everyone's problems is a powerful one, and you should give into it as fully as possible. 5. If the creator didn't want people to express their bizarre fantasies involving his characters, strange leather objects and possibly certain ice-cream toppings then they just shouldn't make their work public. 6. Plot is a matter of opinion. 7. If you are fanficing something from another country, you should add a few words in that language for realism. Don't worry if you don't know what they mean, if you don't speak the language what's the likelihood anyone else will? 8. Never let a good descriptive term go to waste. If you have a favorite feel free to stick it in wherever. If people can have willowy figures why not willowy hair? Or shoes? 9. Eyes and the windows of the soul; they are full of emotion and mystery. In order to convey this properly you must never use so clinical a word as "eyes". Pull out your thesaurus. Get creative. Never say "blue eyes" when you can say "deep cerulean orbs of sight" instead. 10. When you are writing in a relationship between two characters, you should have them jump into bed as soon as possible. Sure, in real life relationships develop over time, but that would be pretty dull to write about wouldn't it? 11. Speaking of sex scenes, you should put in as many as you can. This keeps the fic interesting. 12. Don't let yourself get all hung up over things like correct spelling and grammar. 13. Many people make the mistake of turning their work over to a beta or proofreader. Don't fall into this trap, these people will pick apart your baby with their cold-hearted rankings about "plot holes" and "consistincy". 14. Remember, you are the author: That makes you GOD. _________________ Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself. Kali Gargoyle's Asylum <font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Kali on 2002-03-10 15:39 ]</font>