Originally Posted by Leo656
No more goddamn live-action cartoons. It's a broken premise for this brand. We've had exactly ONE adaptation that wasn't a cartoon either literally or metaphorically (and some would argue that the 1990 film is still at least "half a cartoon"). It's been done. Never well. People love to pull out the "_______ and Movies are not the same" card, and so I'm dropping it now. Cartoons and Movies are not the same, and what is "charming" in one arena is absolutely puke-inducing elsewhere.
No more live-action cartoons. If you're not actually going to try and do anything constructive with the brand except sell toys exclusively, then maybe it's altogether time to stop making movies about it. Which is what I've been saying since the last one and will continue to say until "forever" as I don't have any faith in Hollywood to do it properly.
I'd rather never see a TMNT movie made for the entirety of the remainder humankind's existence on this planet, rather than yet another goddamn cartoon riff when we've had about 80 of them across all media. I'd rather see the entire brand die and its ashes shot into the sun, and I mean that with absolute sincerity.
Why do we not have a vomit emoji? That's the exact opposite of what a TMNT movie should be. On every single conceivable level. From the toothless "threats" to the cornball "villains" to the constant need to stop and crack jokes even while supposedly serious things are happening, to how brightly-lit and over-saturated with color everything is, to the basic premise being a $200 million CGI bonanza where the Boss Fight is either a hole in the sky or a video game character. And what's worse, that's exactly what they tried to do with the last movie and it didn't even come close to working. I mean yeah, a handful of people were jizzing themselves over finally getting Bebop and Rocksteady, but the thing absolutely bombed at the box office, which means that most people who watched the trailers decided for themselves, "This looks awful, I'm staying home". So I swear, we need to start collectively having better priorities with regard to what this franchise needs to do. Or else it's going to die and it will DESERVE to.
A TMNT movie should have nothing at all in common with a MCU movie. Or any super-hero movie, really. They're not even the same thing conceptually. I don't think it even needs to be said anymore that a big problem with TMNT movies in general is that they keep trying to make them into "super-hero movies" and make them a "blockbuster movie franchise" when that can't happen anyway since they don't even fit the "blockbuster" template. Nor should they.
The last movie did its absolute best to be "A Marvel Movie" AND a cartoon pastiche, and it tanked hard and made about half of what the previous one did. Both BayTurtles movies are choking up $5 bins everywhere. I can't fathom even a little bit why anyone would see a path to success in that formula at all. It's not even a case where like with some movies, "Well, they're divisive but they still made money". The last movie was a failure at every single level: People didn't care enough to go see it, AND it lost a fortune. Can we stop pretending that More Jokes and More Bebop is what this franchise needs? That's pretty well proven to be a fallacy once and for all.
The only time a TMNT movie ever got good reviews AND was liked by most fans AND made money, was the very first one. Ever since then, it's been "more cartoon sh*t" and the results speak for themselves. The only thing they can OR should even attempt to do, is go completely back to Square One, scrape off all the cartoon "barnacles" and try playing it "straight" for once. Forget about making $500 million and aim for something a lot smaller, more intimate, and character-based. It doesn't even have to be "gritty", since people love to play the Extremes Game with this brand and pretend it has to be All Goofy or Violent Bloodbath; it should just at the very least feel like it wasn't written in a goddamn board meeting with some McDonald's nitwit tossing out story ideas. Which is what they've ALL been except for the first one.
Problem is, you're always gonna have one or two "But I want muh Krang" people poisoning the well. And that means we're ONLY gonna get more "cartoon junk" if they keep making TMNT movies. Because the people making them think we're all idiots and we collectively do very little to prove them wrong.
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06-06-2020, 09:54 PM
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