Random Insanity at Toys R Us

~~Leo656~~ · 11-10-2003, 10:37 PM

So a couple weekends ago I decide to go to Toys R Us as I do every weekend to hunt and scavenge for new toys. But to my surprise, horror, and even dismay, this was to be no ordinary trip to Toys R Us. I made sure to document the trip for posterity, and I present it to you here.

First, me as I am about to enter the establishement in search of the latest WWE Ruthless Aggression figures, particularly the new Shawn Michaels. Note the new, black leather trenchcoat.

Little did I know what was waiting for me as soon as I entered the Holiest Of All Toy Establishments...

AN ARMY OF STUFFED LIONS!!! Hundreds upon hundreds of Simbas and Nalas, staring off into space with the same vacant expression. Taken aback, but unsure of how to proceed, I attempted to reach out in friendship to one of these strange creatures...

Big Mistake! Simba was not nearly as friendly in real life as I had anticipated, in fact he was rather ferocious! After a bit of a struggle I was able to pry myself away from his plush jaws of death and continue my search. It wasn't long before I was sidetracked, as something peculiar caught my eye...

"Fun Balls"? "Ball Bag"? Was this Toys R Us or the Pleasure Chest?

Moving on, I was again distracted by the sight of a pogo stick in the near distance. Enraptured with thoughts of recapturing my childhood, I mounted the device and anticipated the joys that would soon come with bouncing through the establishment with all the zest and spirit of Tom Cruise in "Legend"...

You can see how well THAT turned out...

Finally, I got back to the task at hand and entered the action figures section. The first thing I encountered was the TMNT section...

Same stuff as usual... except for one thing...

Much of a Leo fan as I am, it didn't look like it would fit. So I put it back on the rack of discounted Halloween costumes and continued my search.

Imagine my delight when I was greeted by the dozens upon dozens of He-Man variants...

Alas, nothing I didn't already own. So I took a step to the right and focused my attention on The Holy Grail, the WWE Section....

Ah, dozens and dozens of plastic replications of Ric Flair, Booker T, Kevin Nash, and the Chris Benoit figures from two years ago that nobody wants. The elusive Ruthless Aggression figures were in fact in stock, but sadly the coveted Shawn Michaels figures were not.

Dejected, I wandered aimlessly through the store, hoping to find something, anything worth purchasing so that the trip wouldn't be a complete waste of time. Amazingly, I was pulled from my thoughts when I was attacked... you heard me, I was ATTACKED during my shopping trip at Toys R Us...

"Tiggers are Wonderful Things", indeed... At this point I made a mental note to avoid all Disney-related felines for the duration of my shopping...

As I was leaving the store, disheartened by my lack of success, I witnessed something that enraged me beyond the point of reason. And being a man of action, I immediately took it upon myself to rectify this situation...

My initial offensive stance was somehow not enough to get this joker to back down. Words were exchanged (well, he didn't really say much... probably crying his eyes out behind that stupid mask in anticipation of the damage he would soon receive), and I put an end to this travesty the only way it COULD be done...

WITH A LITTLE SWEET CHIN MUSIC!!!!

So that's how it went. For the record, I ended up getting the Shawn Michaels figure off Ebay, so all is right with the world. But now whenever I go to Toys R Us the people with the red vests all start whispering into their walkie talkies as soon as I walk in, and it seems like there's always one right nearby until I leave. Wierd.

11-10-2003, 10:37 PM	#1
~~Leo656~~ Banned Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: nWo Country Posts: 27,703	Random Insanity at Toys R Us So a couple weekends ago I decide to go to Toys R Us as I do every weekend to hunt and scavenge for new toys. But to my surprise, horror, and even dismay, this was to be no ordinary trip to Toys R Us. I made sure to document the trip for posterity, and I present it to you here. First, me as I am about to enter the establishement in search of the latest WWE Ruthless Aggression figures, particularly the new Shawn Michaels. Note the new, black leather trenchcoat. Little did I know what was waiting for me as soon as I entered the Holiest Of All Toy Establishments... AN ARMY OF STUFFED LIONS!!! Hundreds upon hundreds of Simbas and Nalas, staring off into space with the same vacant expression. Taken aback, but unsure of how to proceed, I attempted to reach out in friendship to one of these strange creatures... Big Mistake! Simba was not nearly as friendly in real life as I had anticipated, in fact he was rather ferocious! After a bit of a struggle I was able to pry myself away from his plush jaws of death and continue my search. It wasn't long before I was sidetracked, as something peculiar caught my eye... "Fun Balls"? "Ball Bag"? Was this Toys R Us or the Pleasure Chest? Moving on, I was again distracted by the sight of a pogo stick in the near distance. Enraptured with thoughts of recapturing my childhood, I mounted the device and anticipated the joys that would soon come with bouncing through the establishment with all the zest and spirit of Tom Cruise in "Legend"... You can see how well THAT turned out... Finally, I got back to the task at hand and entered the action figures section. The first thing I encountered was the TMNT section... Same stuff as usual... except for one thing... Much of a Leo fan as I am, it didn't look like it would fit. So I put it back on the rack of discounted Halloween costumes and continued my search. Imagine my delight when I was greeted by the dozens upon dozens of He-Man variants... Alas, nothing I didn't already own. So I took a step to the right and focused my attention on The Holy Grail, the WWE Section.... Ah, dozens and dozens of plastic replications of Ric Flair, Booker T, Kevin Nash, and the Chris Benoit figures from two years ago that nobody wants. The elusive Ruthless Aggression figures were in fact in stock, but sadly the coveted Shawn Michaels figures were not. Dejected, I wandered aimlessly through the store, hoping to find something, anything worth purchasing so that the trip wouldn't be a complete waste of time. Amazingly, I was pulled from my thoughts when I was attacked... you heard me, I was ATTACKED during my shopping trip at Toys R Us... "Tiggers are Wonderful Things", indeed... At this point I made a mental note to avoid all Disney-related felines for the duration of my shopping... As I was leaving the store, disheartened by my lack of success, I witnessed something that enraged me beyond the point of reason. And being a man of action, I immediately took it upon myself to rectify this situation... My initial offensive stance was somehow not enough to get this joker to back down. Words were exchanged (well, he didn't really say much... probably crying his eyes out behind that stupid mask in anticipation of the damage he would soon receive), and I put an end to this travesty the only way it COULD be done... WITH A LITTLE SWEET CHIN MUSIC!!!! So that's how it went. For the record, I ended up getting the Shawn Michaels figure off Ebay, so all is right with the world. But now whenever I go to Toys R Us the people with the red vests all start whispering into their walkie talkies as soon as I walk in, and it seems like there's always one right nearby until I leave. Wierd.