Star Wars spoof.

~~Jarrah White~~ · 04-03-2004, 04:22 PM

A Long Time Ago In A Galaxy Far, Far Away...

Well actually it was only thirty years ago, on America a guy called George Lucas decided to make a film called Star Wars. Then he made another one. Then another one. And then he just sat on his rich fat ass for fifteen years and did sweet f*** all. But all those Mansions don't pay for themselves so he's back with Episodes One, Two and...

Star Warz: Episode Three, The Clamer for Merchandise.

It is a time of galactic upset. The Imperial forces have flooded the market with crap Star Wars merchandise. This has pissed off the Rebal Forces no end.

Chapter 1

Deep in space, the Death Star floats, I giant Coka Cola billboard rotates in top. Deep within, a major battle rages on between the Storm Troopers and Rebal forces. A Storm Trooper's ray gun runs out of ammo, so he removes another from it's original packages. Meanwhile, R2-D2 and C-3PO run through out the fortress.

R2-D2: Beep, Beep, Bop, Beep, Beep.
C-3PO: No, R2, I am not running like a big girly droid!
R2-D2: Beep, Beep, Beep.
C-3PO: Same to you, little robotic terd.

The two make it to Princess Leia's cell.

C-3PO: Your royale highness, thank heavens your safe and well.
Princess Leia: Don't patronise me, RoboBoy. Just because you were built like a man and you think like a man does not mean you are a man. Your more like a cross between Elton John and a vaccum cleaner. Your made of tin and you suck.
C-3PO: Do you have to rescue her?
R2-D2: Beep, Bop, Bop, Bop, Bop, Beep.
C-3PO: Yes, I suppose she is in The Empire Strikes Back.
R2-D2: Ah, but she's not in The Phantom Menace, Liam Neeson plays the princess in that one.
Princess Leia: Are you quite finished, Tin Man and Dexter from perfect match?
R2-D2: Beep, Beep.
C-3PO: Princess there isn't just time, what have you found out about The Death Star?
Princess Leia: Well 3POQ or whatever your called, it's like a huge factory pumping out low quality Star Wars merchandise twenty-four hours a day. This for example is the R2-D2 action figure.

Leia holds up what appears to be an empty VB Beer can with half a tennis ball stuck to the top and two plastic eyeball keychains glued to either side.

C-3PO: Good lord.
Princess Leia: I don't suppose your interested in seeing yours...

Leia holds up C-3PO's action figure (Trust me, you don't wanna know what it looks like.)

C-3PO: Ahhh!

(More coming soon!)

04-03-2004, 04:22 PM	#1
~~Jarrah White~~ Banned Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 2,394	Star Wars spoof. A Long Time Ago In A Galaxy Far, Far Away... Well actually it was only thirty years ago, on America a guy called George Lucas decided to make a film called Star Wars. Then he made another one. Then another one. And then he just sat on his rich fat ass for fifteen years and did sweet f*** all. But all those Mansions don't pay for themselves so he's back with Episodes One, Two and... Star Warz: Episode Three, The Clamer for Merchandise. It is a time of galactic upset. The Imperial forces have flooded the market with crap Star Wars merchandise. This has pissed off the Rebal Forces no end. Chapter 1 Deep in space, the Death Star floats, I giant Coka Cola billboard rotates in top. Deep within, a major battle rages on between the Storm Troopers and Rebal forces. A Storm Trooper's ray gun runs out of ammo, so he removes another from it's original packages. Meanwhile, R2-D2 and C-3PO run through out the fortress. R2-D2: Beep, Beep, Bop, Beep, Beep. C-3PO: No, R2, I am not running like a big girly droid! R2-D2: Beep, Beep, Beep. C-3PO: Same to you, little robotic terd. The two make it to Princess Leia's cell. C-3PO: Your royale highness, thank heavens your safe and well. Princess Leia: Don't patronise me, RoboBoy. Just because you were built like a man and you think like a man does not mean you are a man. Your more like a cross between Elton John and a vaccum cleaner. Your made of tin and you suck. C-3PO: Do you have to rescue her? R2-D2: Beep, Bop, Bop, Bop, Bop, Beep. C-3PO: Yes, I suppose she is in The Empire Strikes Back. R2-D2: Ah, but she's not in The Phantom Menace, Liam Neeson plays the princess in that one. Princess Leia: Are you quite finished, Tin Man and Dexter from perfect match? R2-D2: Beep, Beep. C-3PO: Princess there isn't just time, what have you found out about The Death Star? Princess Leia: Well 3POQ or whatever your called, it's like a huge factory pumping out low quality Star Wars merchandise twenty-four hours a day. This for example is the R2-D2 action figure. Leia holds up what appears to be an empty VB Beer can with half a tennis ball stuck to the top and two plastic eyeball keychains glued to either side. C-3PO: Good lord. Princess Leia: I don't suppose your interested in seeing yours... Leia holds up C-3PO's action figure (Trust me, you don't wanna know what it looks like.) C-3PO: Ahhh! (More coming soon!)