A tale of two toasters

*Anarky* · 09-29-2006, 05:30 PM

So it happened. I read once in a blog of some woman who lives in a warzone that every drop of water is precious and shouldn't be wasted. "Bollocks!" I thought "If you want water, just ask for it from whoever's ruling you this week!" And I was right, it's her own damn fault living in a war. Damn straight. And I'd never have believed her. I mean, we all know she's lying. People in countries with war can't read or write anyways.

But yesterday... a sad moment. And I realized that she was right all along. Because yesterday my toaster blew up. All I wanted to make was one slice of toast and blue sparks along with a power outage on the entire floor made me realize that nothing ever will be the same again. And because it looked so cool, I put the fuse back in and made another spark! Awesome! But even the defibrillator couldn't save the toaster. It died in my arms. It died with the words "I hate y..." on its lips.

At first I thought "Well, get stuffed, you bastard!" and threw it in the dustbin... after trying to let it spark once more. I never expected to miss the aluminum-coated heater of breakfasts, the glorious roaster of bread, the one thing that made the kitchen smell all breakfasty in the morning. But when I got up today, I suddenly realized that I was toasterless because Toasty was dead. Gone forever. And I didn't get my breakfast. I was completely toastless. And cereal wasn't around either. So I had no breakfast. And that made me angry.

And then it finally dawned upon me: The Warwoman was right. Never waste a toaster and always have a backup toaster, just in case. No, seriously, breakfast without toast just ain't breakfast. Luckily, I got me another toaster today. Looks ugly as hell, but has plenty more buttons to try out.

I'll miss you, toaster. God bless you.

09-29-2006, 05:30 PM	#1
Anarky Outlaw Hero Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Tannhauser Gate Posts: 4,867	A tale of two toasters So it happened. I read once in a blog of some woman who lives in a warzone that every drop of water is precious and shouldn't be wasted. "Bollocks!" I thought "If you want water, just ask for it from whoever's ruling you this week!" And I was right, it's her own damn fault living in a war. Damn straight. And I'd never have believed her. I mean, we all know she's lying. People in countries with war can't read or write anyways. But yesterday... a sad moment. And I realized that she was right all along. Because yesterday my toaster blew up. All I wanted to make was one slice of toast and blue sparks along with a power outage on the entire floor made me realize that nothing ever will be the same again. And because it looked so cool, I put the fuse back in and made another spark! Awesome! But even the defibrillator couldn't save the toaster. It died in my arms. It died with the words "I hate y..." on its lips. At first I thought "Well, get stuffed, you bastard!" and threw it in the dustbin... after trying to let it spark once more. I never expected to miss the aluminum-coated heater of breakfasts, the glorious roaster of bread, the one thing that made the kitchen smell all breakfasty in the morning. But when I got up today, I suddenly realized that I was toasterless because Toasty was dead. Gone forever. And I didn't get my breakfast. I was completely toastless. And cereal wasn't around either. So I had no breakfast. And that made me angry. And then it finally dawned upon me: The Warwoman was right. Never waste a toaster and always have a backup toaster, just in case. No, seriously, breakfast without toast just ain't breakfast. Luckily, I got me another toaster today. Looks ugly as hell, but has plenty more buttons to try out. I'll miss you, toaster. God bless you. __________________ Because it's... I dunno... brutal.