April O'Neil, Ushering Us Into Manhood

*Weapon X* · 01-22-2009, 03:14 AM

The Show: TMNT introduced us to a giant ninja rat, a man-sized alligator, a clan of feet, a guy who was a brain inside a jar inside another guy, and all other manner of mutated horror we had no way of understanding. But God bless us, we begged our parents to buy it all anyway.

The Object Of Our Misguided Affection: April O’Neil, fiery reporter for Channel 6 news and one of the turtles’ only human friends. She was also one of the only female characters who wasn’t some kind of hideous monster, so that helped.

Perks:

April’s best guy friends are sewer-dwelling animal men who talk, act, and think like preteen boys. If they challenge you to a fight, you’re ****ed, but as long as you can keep things based on physical appearance or general odor, it’s a lock.

She’s the only reporter in the world who insists on wearing a low cut yellow jumpsuit at all times. Kinky.

According to her official bio, her main weakness is “extremely ticklish feet.” Double kinky!

Bummers:

As a career woman, April is more concerned with getting the story than finding love. You’re in very real danger of becoming a one night stand. Are you ready for that kind of heartbreak?

She associates closely with mutants, has traveled through the dimensions, and been covered in numerous kinds of ooze. I guess what I’m saying is–use protection.

The Crude, Misinformed Euphemism We Used To Express Our Lust:
“I’d like to bebop her rocksteady!!”

The Internet Fallout:

Scary isn't it?

Thanks to April's scene in "Case Of The Hot Kimono" I developed a foot fetish.

What about everyone else?

And hey this is just supposed to be fun. So as usual, don't take it too seriously.

01-22-2009, 03:14 AM	#1
Weapon X Turtle Power! Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Ohio Posts: 2,744	April O'Neil, Ushering Us Into Manhood The Show: TMNT introduced us to a giant ninja rat, a man-sized alligator, a clan of feet, a guy who was a brain inside a jar inside another guy, and all other manner of mutated horror we had no way of understanding. But God bless us, we begged our parents to buy it all anyway. The Object Of Our Misguided Affection: April O’Neil, fiery reporter for Channel 6 news and one of the turtles’ only human friends. She was also one of the only female characters who wasn’t some kind of hideous monster, so that helped. Perks: April’s best guy friends are sewer-dwelling animal men who talk, act, and think like preteen boys. If they challenge you to a fight, you’re **ed, but as long as you can keep things based on physical appearance or general odor, it’s a lock. She’s the only reporter in the world who insists on wearing a low cut yellow jumpsuit at all times. Kinky. According to her official bio, her main weakness is “extremely ticklish feet.” Double kinky! Bummers: As a career woman, April is more concerned with getting the story than finding love. You’re in very real danger of becoming a one night stand. Are you ready for that kind of heartbreak? She associates closely with mutants, has traveled through the dimensions, and been covered in numerous kinds of ooze. I guess what I’m saying is–use protection. The Crude, Misinformed Euphemism We Used To Express Our Lust: “I’d like to bebop her rocksteady!!” The Internet Fallout:** Scary isn't it? Thanks to April's scene in "Case Of The Hot Kimono" I developed a foot fetish. What about everyone else? And hey this is just supposed to be fun. So as usual, don't take it too seriously.