What Grinds Your Gears? :)

[Leo656]

I'm sure all the single Moms who work fast food or in grocery stores for reasons like, they can't afford a car, or, it's literally right across the street and is the easiest way to get a job with benefits, are thrilled to be described as failures for life circumstances that may or may not be within their control. Chick gets married, has a kid, husband develops health problems, suddenly dies, leaves her the debt, she needs to work so her kid can eat, Shop-Rite has dental, her kid needs braces, and boom, she's a 40-year old "failure" working in a supermarket because life didn't favor her.

At least my blanket statements contain a modicum of truth. Yikes.

As for people's parents, that's entirely personal and you can't just assume you know what's best for them. I had a horrible relationship with my father, and we managed to reconcile, but if he had ever, like, put me in the hospital, for example, that wouldn't be easy to ever shake or forgive. And like others have said, some people horrifically abuse or even molest and rape their kids. Most parents are parents by accident, and some of them actively hate and resent their children. They don't deserve respect and sympathy just because "they are parents" and will one day stop breathing. It's a job like any other, the respect you earn should be solely dependent on the performance of the parent.

Granted, some kids are just whiny brats who don't appreciate what they have, but that's an entirely different situation. Some parents are reprehensible, the same as any other people.

[MsMarvelDuckie]

Originally Posted by Leo656

I'm sure all the single Moms who work fast food or in grocery stores for reasons like, they can't afford a car, or, it's literally right across the street and is the easiest way to get a job with benefits, are thrilled to be described as failures for life circumstances that may or may not be within their control. Chick gets married, has a kid, husband develops health problems, suddenly dies, leaves her the debt, she needs to work so her kid can eat, Shop-Rite has dental, her kid needs braces, and boom, she's a 40-year old "failure" working in a supermarket because life didn't favor her.

At least my blanket statements contain a modicum of truth. Yikes.

As for people's parents, that's entirely personal and you can't just assume you know what's best for them. I had a horrible relationship with my father, and we managed to reconcile, but if he had ever, like, put me in the hospital, for example, that wouldn't be easy to ever shake or forgive. And like others have said, some people horrifically abuse or even molest and rape their kids. Most parents are parents by accident, and some of them actively hate and resent their children. They don't deserve respect and sympathy just because "they are parents" and will one day stop breathing. It's a job like any other, the respect you earn should be solely dependent on the performance of the parent.

Granted, some kids are just whiny brats who don't appreciate what they have, but that's an entirely different situation. Some parents are reprehensible, the same as any other people.

I think you just hit the heart of the matter. Respect is something that is earned, and to get it, one also has to GIVE it. It's true of parents just as it is of anyone else. If someone treats you with no respect as a human being and then demands you give it to THEM, they don't deserve it in the first place. And trust is another important aspect of being a parent, too. A parent is SUPPOSED to be someone the child can GO TO when they have a problem, and to trust with their health, safety, and emotional well-being. It's despicable and unforgivable when a parent betrays that trust. Even more so when the person went into a relationship KNOWING that parenthood would be part of the deal. To betray a child is just about the WORST thing a person can do, and deserves a place in Hades right next to people like Hitler and Jeffery Daumer(sp?).

[IndigoErth]

Originally Posted by MsMarvelDuckie

I think you just hit the heart of the matter. Respect is something that is earned, and to get it, one also has to GIVE it. It's true of parents just as it is of anyone else.

Exactly. Sure it's earned, but I hate the attitude that someone gets none unless it's earned... when did none become the default?

Kid remains disrespectful and doesn't earn it, you say? Oh, I dunno, have you SHOWN them what respect looks like? How's a kid to know what it looks like and how to give it if you don't show them.

Maybe a baseline of respect should be universal... but a higher respect and no respect are both earned.

[Candy Kappa]

When it comes to people demanding respect instead of giving it. I feel Salvatore wrote it really well.

"Respect is one of the most basic needs of reasoning creatures, particularly among men. An insult is just that because it is an assault upon respect, upon esteem, and upon that most dangerous of qualities: pride. So when I meet people now, they do not have to earn my respect."

"Demanding of another that he earns your respect is, in of itself, an act of arrogance, a way of self-elevation, implying by its very nature that your respect is worth earning."

It is very arrogant to think your respect have to be earned. It should be given, however, respect can easily be revoked.

[pennydreadful]

That's a really good quote, Candy - captures my thoughts on the subject in a far more eloquent way than I could ever express.

[Katie]

Ya know, all I started out saying is that when someone you don't like dies you won't feel happy. It's more like a hollow feeling.

Reading back through this you all make it out like I said people should be crying and depressed and have instant respect for the person. All I ever said was you won't feel happy.

And I still firmly believe that wishing for another person to die makes you less of a person regardless of what that person has ever done. So I guess we'll just have to disagree about that and I have learned a little more about the current state of people.

[Gunpowder]

It irks me that (1) I always feel exhausted, and (2) I never have time to sleep. I've been so behind on sleep lately that I had to skip all my classes today just to sleep in (I probably wouldn't have made it through the day otherwise). Slept from 11:30 last night, through my alarm this morning, up until 2:30 this afternoon.

Having missed those classes is gonna bite me in the ass in due time, but I needed that extra rest more than anything.

Originally Posted by Candy Kappa

When it comes to people demanding respect instead of giving it. I feel Salvatore wrote it really well.

"Respect is one of the most basic needs of reasoning creatures, particularly among men. An insult is just that because it is an assault upon respect, upon esteem, and upon that most dangerous of qualities: pride. So when I meet people now, they do not have to earn my respect."

"Demanding of another that he earns your respect is, in of itself, an act of arrogance, a way of self-elevation, implying by its very nature that your respect is worth earning."

It is very arrogant to think your respect have to be earned. It should be given, however, respect can easily be revoked.

Well said.

[Leo656]

Originally Posted by Katie

And I still firmly believe that wishing for another person to die makes you less of a person regardless of what that person has ever done. So I guess we'll just have to disagree about that and I have learned a little more about the current state of people.

Newp. Totally wrong. Two perfect examples: The guy my Mom was living with when she died, who was beating her and got her hooked on smack. He actually found her passed out (possibly dead already) in bed, went to work, came home two hours later and "Found" her, THEN called 911, so he had time to come up with a decent story to save his own ass.

Then, there was my Dad's junkie ex-girlfriend, who broke into my room when I was at work and attacked my wife (who in turn slashed her face with a 12-inch ceremonial dagger in self-defense... my girl don't f*** around ). She came after me once, too, and when I pushed her off of me while she was choking me and punching me in the face, she tried to have me brought up on assault charges. When we went to court, she was so smacked-up she was incoherent, and the judge threw it out. Even when my wife stabbed her (again, in self-defense), the cops and the judge (who were well-aware of this c*nt and her reputation) were very vocal that "That psycho bitch had it coming". They filed it under "misdemeanor assault", and my wife paid less money for stabbing someone in the face than some of MY fines have been simply for screaming at people. Because the bitch had it coming.

So, yeah, I spent a few years wishing both of those pieces of needle-shooting junkie trash into the grave, and when they finally made it, I felt nothing but joy, and still do. My only regret is that I didn't help send them on their way. SO, does wanting them dead make me "Less of a person"? Maybe. But even if it does, I'm still a better human being than they were.

It's like the old saying goes: "You think there's good in everybody? You haven't MET everybody."

[Powder]

Just one of those nights where you wish you could punch a motherf*cker through the screen. & no, it has nothing to do with this thread or the board in general, to be clear.

[MsMarvelDuckie]

I have a screen you could put them through, Powder. It was all f***ed up, anyway tonight....