What Grinds Your Gears? :)

[Leo656]

High school-age males should not be allowed to join actual gyms. All they do is track mud everywhere, curse, yell, lift too much weight with horrible form, leave weights laying around, and never clean up after themselves or wipe down the equipment. Used to be, you could smack these kids and throw them out on their ass. Now, you can only fine 'em and give them a warning.

By my estimation, about 93% of life's problems would go away overnight if physical violence was still an acceptable way of dealing with people who get out of line.

[MsMarvelDuckie]

Originally Posted by Katie

Let me put it this way:

Will his death change anything? At all? Will you still feel angry when you think of him and what he did? Will your feelings change on the day after he dies, or will it be the same for you as the day before? If it won't change, what good does the actual death do you?

Why let him win in life? Why let him make you so angry that you wish for someone to die?

Wishing death on someone for ills done to you, whether actual or just in perception, lowers you.

I've been tormented all my life. Know what the best thing to do is? Separate yourself and let go of the anger. The person isn't worth it. They aren't worth the time you spend on them. But even still I don't wish death. I wish to be happy and move in a better direction so that I can prove that they don't control me and that i am worth it. They need to see that

You're right about one thing- he isn't worth my time or emotions, hence why I wouldn't shed any tears for him. My POINT was exactly that. I AM still angry, but only because I STILL have to deal with him as a side-note to seeing my mom. Life would indeed be much better for BOTH of us if he were out of the picture. And I know this for a FACT, because it actually happened once, when I was nine. See, that's when all the crap came out about what he was doing. Long story short, they separated for six months, and he was under a restraining order the entire time not to be within 500 ft of me, so he had to move out. Was the happiest time in my childhood years. Individual and family therapy/counseling and six months later, he came back. A year or two later, he started sliding right back into the same crap- or TRIED to. I flat-out told him if he ever touched me again, I'd make sure he went to prison for a long time. Yet even now, he STILL tries to sneak a feel of my rear, and gets slapped for it. I've even kneed him in the jewels a couple of times.

So would I feel differently? No. Do I give two craps about him? HECK NO! He has NO place in my life anymore, barring the few times I actually have to see him face-to-face, or talk to him on the phone. All I will feel when he is gone is relief that I never have to see his face or hear his voice again. Because he doesn't DESERVE my tears- or my mom's, either, for that matter (though I'm sure she will shed a few, if only because they have been together so long. But then again, I'm pretty sure the love in that relationship went out when he started messing with me....)

Originally Posted by pennydreadful

Working at a grocery store does not make someone a failure. How someone chooses to sell their labor has nothing to do with whether or not they're a worthwhile person, or whether their life is wasted. What's important is living a happy and fulfilling life, not how many zeroes are on your payslip at the end of the week.

Irritating blowhards are irritating whether or not they're bankers or politicians or grocery store employees.

I second this. Whole-heartedly.

Originally Posted by Cure

No, working at a grocery store is failing pretty hard.

And how the heck would YOU know that?! I've worked retail and fast-food my whole life, and Don't feel myself a failure in the least. I've ALWAYS had enough to eat, a place to live, and could pay my bills. I meet interesting people- some of them really great- I am doing something productive and worthwhile- because face it, without people like ME the rest of the world would have no place to get goods and services they need- and I work my @$$ off to EARN my pay. And still manage to write in my free time, WALK to and from work (it's liberating in a way not to rely on a car) and I get to see things on my daily trips that others miss.

Originally Posted by Peanut

Good thing that wasn't my point at all and you've created this fake scenario wherein I denounce all retail employees as worthless human beings. Keep getting defensive over sh*t I didn't say. That fits in perfectly with the topic of this thread.

So your point wasn't that people's jobs are what make them worthless? You just SAID it is! Way to be hypocritical....

Originally Posted by IndigoErth

And that's some of the stupidness that is wrong with this/my country; maybe it is in multiple countries.

"Get a job!"
"Great, you have a job, but it's not good enough so I'll continue to look down on you!"

What's funny (not really) is seeing how we (me and coworkers) were treated when I worked at a large retailer. We were just a team that worked an evening shift dealing with the merchandise (mostly clothing, but some home stuff as well) and helping customers as needed.

Of course, we're just little retail employees, we aren't worth much I guess. Customers can be pretty disrespectful in both their attitude toward the employees and their own general behavior in the store. Even jerky managers would have an attitude as if we weren't worth much.

People treat workers as if, in their view, they are simply some lowly costumer assistant and is all they've ever made of themselves, never giving a thought to the fact that this was only a part-time evening job and that many, if not most, had other primary jobs.

One frail looking woman I worked with also worked for the postal service. She delivered mail by day, six days a week, not by truck, but by foot, with a heavy bag across her shoulder. (Not to mention run-ins with dogs that do happen, etc.) And then some nights she'd come bust her ass at the store, which had a lot of walking and heavy carrying involved as well. I honestly do not think I could do that postal job ALL DAY and then even have it in me do the work we did at the store.

Another was in her 80s, spent her younger years as a factory worker. When I knew her she lived alone (widowed), still mowed her own grass with a push mower. Was one of those great old folks with a sassy personality. She was a tough old thing that put the durability of us younger ones to shame; they don't make 'em like her generation anymore.

Don't make assumptions about a person's source of income... It may not be a job worthy of respect to some, but it's income and it's being productive; someone is needed to do that work so that the rest of the community can access what the business has to offer. And for all anyone knows, it may not even be their only job, some very well may be doing something "more impressive" at other hours of the day.

Thank you! You can't judge someone till you've walked a mile in their shoes. And some of us "lifers" do it by CHOICE! It may not be glamorous, or make tons of money, but that's not the measure of a person's worth- what they DO with what they HAVE is.

Originally Posted by shuriken

If someone is happy and making a decent living, all the while loving what they do then how can one objectively call another a failure.
I've had some bad jobs (a damn mascot for a radio station), and some good ones (rehabbing apartments).
My favorite job though no joke, has been a Jimmy John's delivery driver (on a bike). Why? I think its fun.
Hours are wonky (Overnights are 10pm to 5 am, once a month Friday and Saturday, sometimes I did doubles 10am to 10pm), Kinda dangerous (you will be hit by a car... deal with it) and I get 7 bucks an hour for biking anywhere in a mile radius delivering sandwiches to people who may or may not tip you in one of the most traffic heavy areas in Chicago.

It isn't glamorous, isn't cool or fancy but it helped finance my schooling, so eventually I can Architect to my hearts content. If that doesn't work out, I wouldn't say I have failed because I've acquired enough skills that I can do something else, be good and successful at it.

A thing that grinds my gears is people not appreciating what they have, feeling entitled about stuff. It bugs me man.

Ditto to all this.


My Monday gear-grind, speaking of work.... Computers that decide to go wonky and don't store people's orders in the drive-through, when it's twenty minutes before time to go home. Ended up staying almost a half-hour late, and had to take orders at the window, because the order-taking monitor wasn't communicating with the register one, and none of the orders were showing up for payment! These are some of the things us "failures " have to deal with, just so the REST of the world can have their darn tacos and hamburgers. So stop WHINING, folks- we are there to serve YOU!!!

[Leo656]

I'm sure all the single Moms who work fast food or in grocery stores for reasons like, they can't afford a car, or, it's literally right across the street and is the easiest way to get a job with benefits, are thrilled to be described as failures for life circumstances that may or may not be within their control. Chick gets married, has a kid, husband develops health problems, suddenly dies, leaves her the debt, she needs to work so her kid can eat, Shop-Rite has dental, her kid needs braces, and boom, she's a 40-year old "failure" working in a supermarket because life didn't favor her.

At least my blanket statements contain a modicum of truth. Yikes.

As for people's parents, that's entirely personal and you can't just assume you know what's best for them. I had a horrible relationship with my father, and we managed to reconcile, but if he had ever, like, put me in the hospital, for example, that wouldn't be easy to ever shake or forgive. And like others have said, some people horrifically abuse or even molest and rape their kids. Most parents are parents by accident, and some of them actively hate and resent their children. They don't deserve respect and sympathy just because "they are parents" and will one day stop breathing. It's a job like any other, the respect you earn should be solely dependent on the performance of the parent.

Granted, some kids are just whiny brats who don't appreciate what they have, but that's an entirely different situation. Some parents are reprehensible, the same as any other people.

[MsMarvelDuckie]

Originally Posted by Leo656

I'm sure all the single Moms who work fast food or in grocery stores for reasons like, they can't afford a car, or, it's literally right across the street and is the easiest way to get a job with benefits, are thrilled to be described as failures for life circumstances that may or may not be within their control. Chick gets married, has a kid, husband develops health problems, suddenly dies, leaves her the debt, she needs to work so her kid can eat, Shop-Rite has dental, her kid needs braces, and boom, she's a 40-year old "failure" working in a supermarket because life didn't favor her.

At least my blanket statements contain a modicum of truth. Yikes.

As for people's parents, that's entirely personal and you can't just assume you know what's best for them. I had a horrible relationship with my father, and we managed to reconcile, but if he had ever, like, put me in the hospital, for example, that wouldn't be easy to ever shake or forgive. And like others have said, some people horrifically abuse or even molest and rape their kids. Most parents are parents by accident, and some of them actively hate and resent their children. They don't deserve respect and sympathy just because "they are parents" and will one day stop breathing. It's a job like any other, the respect you earn should be solely dependent on the performance of the parent.

Granted, some kids are just whiny brats who don't appreciate what they have, but that's an entirely different situation. Some parents are reprehensible, the same as any other people.

I think you just hit the heart of the matter. Respect is something that is earned, and to get it, one also has to GIVE it. It's true of parents just as it is of anyone else. If someone treats you with no respect as a human being and then demands you give it to THEM, they don't deserve it in the first place. And trust is another important aspect of being a parent, too. A parent is SUPPOSED to be someone the child can GO TO when they have a problem, and to trust with their health, safety, and emotional well-being. It's despicable and unforgivable when a parent betrays that trust. Even more so when the person went into a relationship KNOWING that parenthood would be part of the deal. To betray a child is just about the WORST thing a person can do, and deserves a place in Hades right next to people like Hitler and Jeffery Daumer(sp?).

[Powder]

Just one of those nights where you wish you could punch a motherf*cker through the screen. & no, it has nothing to do with this thread or the board in general, to be clear.

[MsMarvelDuckie]

I have a screen you could put them through, Powder. It was all f***ed up, anyway tonight....

[IndigoErth]

Originally Posted by MsMarvelDuckie

I think you just hit the heart of the matter. Respect is something that is earned, and to get it, one also has to GIVE it. It's true of parents just as it is of anyone else.

Exactly. Sure it's earned, but I hate the attitude that someone gets none unless it's earned... when did none become the default?

Kid remains disrespectful and doesn't earn it, you say? Oh, I dunno, have you SHOWN them what respect looks like? How's a kid to know what it looks like and how to give it if you don't show them.

Maybe a baseline of respect should be universal... but a higher respect and no respect are both earned.

[Candy Kappa]

When it comes to people demanding respect instead of giving it. I feel Salvatore wrote it really well.

"Respect is one of the most basic needs of reasoning creatures, particularly among men. An insult is just that because it is an assault upon respect, upon esteem, and upon that most dangerous of qualities: pride. So when I meet people now, they do not have to earn my respect."

"Demanding of another that he earns your respect is, in of itself, an act of arrogance, a way of self-elevation, implying by its very nature that your respect is worth earning."

It is very arrogant to think your respect have to be earned. It should be given, however, respect can easily be revoked.

[pennydreadful]

That's a really good quote, Candy - captures my thoughts on the subject in a far more eloquent way than I could ever express.

[Katie]

Ya know, all I started out saying is that when someone you don't like dies you won't feel happy. It's more like a hollow feeling.

Reading back through this you all make it out like I said people should be crying and depressed and have instant respect for the person. All I ever said was you won't feel happy.

And I still firmly believe that wishing for another person to die makes you less of a person regardless of what that person has ever done. So I guess we'll just have to disagree about that and I have learned a little more about the current state of people.

[Gunpowder]

It irks me that (1) I always feel exhausted, and (2) I never have time to sleep. I've been so behind on sleep lately that I had to skip all my classes today just to sleep in (I probably wouldn't have made it through the day otherwise). Slept from 11:30 last night, through my alarm this morning, up until 2:30 this afternoon.

Having missed those classes is gonna bite me in the ass in due time, but I needed that extra rest more than anything.

Originally Posted by Candy Kappa

When it comes to people demanding respect instead of giving it. I feel Salvatore wrote it really well.

"Respect is one of the most basic needs of reasoning creatures, particularly among men. An insult is just that because it is an assault upon respect, upon esteem, and upon that most dangerous of qualities: pride. So when I meet people now, they do not have to earn my respect."

"Demanding of another that he earns your respect is, in of itself, an act of arrogance, a way of self-elevation, implying by its very nature that your respect is worth earning."

It is very arrogant to think your respect have to be earned. It should be given, however, respect can easily be revoked.

Well said.

[Leo656]

Originally Posted by Katie

And I still firmly believe that wishing for another person to die makes you less of a person regardless of what that person has ever done. So I guess we'll just have to disagree about that and I have learned a little more about the current state of people.

Newp. Totally wrong. Two perfect examples: The guy my Mom was living with when she died, who was beating her and got her hooked on smack. He actually found her passed out (possibly dead already) in bed, went to work, came home two hours later and "Found" her, THEN called 911, so he had time to come up with a decent story to save his own ass.

Then, there was my Dad's junkie ex-girlfriend, who broke into my room when I was at work and attacked my wife (who in turn slashed her face with a 12-inch ceremonial dagger in self-defense... my girl don't f*** around ). She came after me once, too, and when I pushed her off of me while she was choking me and punching me in the face, she tried to have me brought up on assault charges. When we went to court, she was so smacked-up she was incoherent, and the judge threw it out. Even when my wife stabbed her (again, in self-defense), the cops and the judge (who were well-aware of this c*nt and her reputation) were very vocal that "That psycho bitch had it coming". They filed it under "misdemeanor assault", and my wife paid less money for stabbing someone in the face than some of MY fines have been simply for screaming at people. Because the bitch had it coming.

So, yeah, I spent a few years wishing both of those pieces of needle-shooting junkie trash into the grave, and when they finally made it, I felt nothing but joy, and still do. My only regret is that I didn't help send them on their way. SO, does wanting them dead make me "Less of a person"? Maybe. But even if it does, I'm still a better human being than they were.

It's like the old saying goes: "You think there's good in everybody? You haven't MET everybody."

[snake]

Originally Posted by Leo656

High school-age males should not be allowed to join actual gyms. All they do is track mud everywhere, curse, yell, lift too much weight with horrible form, leave weights laying around, and never clean up after themselves or wipe down the equipment. Used to be, you could smack these kids and throw them out on their ass. Now, you can only fine 'em and give them a warning.

By my estimation, about 93% of life's problems would go away overnight if physical violence was still an acceptable way of dealing with people who get out of line.

I'm the youngest guy at my "gym" (A local Y). But I make sure to wipe sh*t down after I'm done using a machine because no one else f*cking does. Sitting in a pile of old man sweat isn't fun.

[Leo656]

You're a good egg, son.

Next time make like they're a dog who pissed on the rug and rub their face in it. Anyone gives you sh*t for it, tell them *I* said it was okay.

[plastroncafe]

I would never wish anyone death or bodily harm...well, nothing more severe than hoping they step on a LEGO barefoot when they least expect it. Maybe a good solid swift kick to the shin...

But I will say that I would laugh pretty damn hard if my estranged father came back in need of some vital internal organ that I was the only tissue match for.

[Leo656]

I don't see the big deal about it. If I had a nickel for every time someone told me to my face they wished I was dead, I'd have, like, 7 or 8 nickels, at least. I try not to take it to personally, as in most cases the feeling is mutual.

Kinda think people are a little sensitive nowadays. Eh. I'm confused, when was "Hate" no longer available as a valid human emotion?

[plastroncafe]

I don't know that it ever became an unavailable emotion, it's just kind of a stupid one as emotions go. Hate and Anger should be the forces by which we overcome obstacles. They should be solid, grounded, and unwavering.

But so many people confuse hate and anger with rage, and that's just...waste of good hate, is what that is.

Rage is mindless and only really serves to burn a person out. What's the saying? It's like drinking poison and hoping the other guy dies.

[MsMarvelDuckie]

I think that hate is only wasted when it is misdirected or unjustified.
Hating someone just because they look different, or love differently, for example, is stupid. But IMHO, it's MORE stupid NOT to hate it when someone WILLFULLY acts like an utter douche-bag and treats people like garbage. Even more so when they do things that are simply unacceptable or heinous. To me, that is justified hate, and it's perfectly valid and even productive, because it reminds one of how NOT to be. It gives us better ideals and aspirations to strive for. It proves that we ARE "better" then that person, because we have the perception and understanding to hold them in the contempt that they have earned.

Anger is just a lesser version of hate, all said and done, so getting angry when someone treats us badly is natural and expected. It is the normal response to having been wronged, and the truth is that it is more harmful in the long run NOT to get angry, because then the betrayal is buried and festers. Pretending not to be angry when we are hurt by others is the worst form of self-deception there is. And that is worse than the harm that person has already done!

[Leo656]

You're neat.

[MsMarvelDuckie]

I'll take that as a compliment. I think....