"Gender Foresting" or "Government idiocy"

[Anarky]

Hey everybody,

not only comedy is funny. No, politics are even funnier. I can't remember when the Simpsons last had me laughing like that.

Well, thing is, there are a couple of lunatics at work. In Germany that is. They actually made a study on the subject of "Gender foresting". And it is hilarious.

Here's the situation: In Nordrheinwestfalen (NRW) there is this political faction called Red/Green (Rot/Grün in German) and they really do care a lot about environmental... eh... stuff. So, they're very active in terms of preservation (more on that later) and of course, the woods.

That being said, they gave the OK for this study. It cost 25'000 €. Quite a lot of money, so it has to be important, right? The study was then, in the middle of April revealed to the general public, and laughed at. Why, you ask? Well, the study's main task was to find out how men and women feel when they're in the forest. I must say: WOW! Amazing, I've never heard, seen or read anything that important. I bet millions ...no, billions, thousands of billions of people can be helped with that study.

Some believed it was a joke, but sometimes these days, the amazing, spectacular, amazing and downright important results were published. They go as follows (The importancy... mind the importancy):

• Both genders go into forests
• Male people want to climb on trees, make trips at night and really want to just let it all go
• Female people on the other hand side want to pet animals and go barefoot over the soft soil.

to illustrate the importancy of this matter, I'll name the price once again: 25000 €.

As for preservation, Red/green really wants to make an effort too. So they refused to accept a expansion of a landing strip for airplanes, because the need to build a bridge would have come up. Red/Green is not against bridges but they simply can't stand the fact that they'd deliver darkness for 0.1% of NRW's population of Lamprey. This cannot be accepted. So there had to be a bridge which is made of glass bricks so that the Lamprey can have daylight underneith the bridge.

"Unbeknownst" to Red/green, a couple of meters up the river (and river is an overrating that thingy of water) there's a highwaybridge and the lamprey have to go through a dark pipe anyways.

Gender Foresting provides the most interesting facts I have ever read in my entire life and the Lamprey-project is very imporant for 0.1% of NRW's Lamprey.


... and no, I'm not kidding.

[Anarchistguy]

I've just read that...it HAS to be some kind of joke...

[Anarky]

As much as I wish to tell you that it was a joke, I can't. Since it isn't.

The only thing left to do is to find out what's worse. The lamprey or "Gender Foresting"?

[BartAllen]

GOR

thats awesome. i love the simpsons.

[Barkworm]

God, the conseratives are going to kick them to hell at the election...

[Voltron]

Oh, thank God! I was waiting for someone to figure this out. I've been taking my girlfriend on dates to the middle of the forest for months now and she's been absolutely furious with me. I guess no more tree climb socials for us.

[Anarky]

Originally Posted by Barkworm

God, the conseratives are going to kick them to hell at the election...

Heck, they sure did. I mean the CDU (chirstian democratic union) won with 45%... amazing. Now Schröder wants to hold Bundeskanlzer-elections earlier. Someone's scared, huh?

Anyhow, I found out that the Gender-foresting **** is part of something bigger. Gender Mainstreaming that stuff is called.

Other studies proove:

- Men and Women have different reproductive organs
- machinewritten letters are best when they begin with Dear Sir or Madam
- living also has a gender

What are they thinking? Are they thinking?

[damnhooligan]

As a woman, my first instincts wouldn't be to walk around barefoot and pet animals. It would be more like "I have to pee, but no way in hell I'm gonna drop trou here. I wonder how far it is to the nearest rasthof." Then I'd probably kick a rock for half an hour, then set traps and trip-wires for my fellow survey-takers.

And to maintain equilibrium in Nordrheinwestfalen's ecosystem, I'm going to drive up there and consume 0.1% of their Lamprey population. Are those things even edible? Guess I'll find out.

[Anarky]

Well, I guess you can eat Lamprey. But they are a bit small though. I think it's be better if we built a dam up there so that there isn't a need for a bridge. No water, no bridge. Problem solved.

I just called my somewhat-girlfriend and told her about this and then she said "See, I could tell you were always wondering, where my you-know-what is" after I mentionned the different reproductive organs.

I have no idea how to respond to all this...

Oh, wait... one word comes to mind...

Rediculous.

[Tetsu Deinonychus]

Believe it or not, I've heard of dumber studies than this.

[Anarky]

I want proof for that!

[Tetsu Deinonychus]

Let me dig up my Discover magazines and I'll get back to you on that.