Turtle Turncoat by Tony Day - My Review - Page 2

*ZariusTwo* · 04-20-2008, 12:45 AM

I intially liked it, but it's becoming a little strained by it's attempts at being serious. I think it could do with at least another co-writer who can handle the comedic portions so it maintains it's dark storyline, but has dark humour attached to it.

For example, and I dont know if this was deliberate or not, but April having Raph's photo on her desk cracked me up when she's meant to be flirting with Casey. Then again, there might be a love triangle building

*oldmanwinters* · 04-20-2008, 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZariusTwo

I intially liked it, but it's becoming a little strained by it's attempts at being serious. I think it could do with at least another co-writer who can handle the comedic portions so it maintains it's dark storyline, but has dark humour attached to it.

For example, and I dont know if this was deliberate or not, but April having Raph's photo on her desk cracked me up when she's meant to be flirting with Casey. Then again, there might be a love triangle building

The first issue did have some nice bits of comic relief (mostly the Casey and Raph scene) but I haven't sensed many opportunities in the second issue when humor could have aided the story. I did chuckle at Casey's leap onto the couch in the middle of Mike and Don's late night poker. They really look ticked off at him. But the story seems to be reaching its dramatic and tragic conclusion so humor would just seem a little out of place when Raph is being trained as Shredder's apprentice.

Newton Gimmick · 04-20-2008, 04:45 PM

Just now read both parts. I must say I really enjoyed it. The art is incredible, the mixing of universes is well done.

My only complaints would be some of my typical complaints when it comes to fan fiction. Raph being the super bad ass, gets old with me. The first scene where he basically beats up Mike, seemed forced.

I highly enjoyed the near nude April being tortured, it had such a classic fantasy anime charm to it. Amusing to the point I thought any minute now it was going to take a turn into some kind of Hentai, but I was pleased that it didn't. It just towed the line very well.

My major overall complaint though is the dialogue. It's good, but I counted at least 57 uses of the S word (Can we cuss here?) anyway that took a lot away from me. Some of them fit with the tone and others just seemed like the word was being pasted in at times.

I have half a mind to erase all the text and clean it up just to see how it would read.

Anyway, I want to give Tony major props as I love it. It's very nice, very well done and he's doing his own thing. I think there are ways it could improve, mostly with some minor dialgoue re-writes, but for the most part it's a fun piece of fan fiction with some of the best TMNT art work I've seen in comic form.

*oldmanwinters* · 04-20-2008, 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Newton Gimmick

My major overall complaint though is the dialogue. It's good, but I counted at least 57 uses of the S word (Can we cuss here?) anyway that took a lot away from me. Some of them fit with the tone and others just seemed like the word was being pasted in at times.

I have half a mind to erase all the text and clean it up just to see how it would read.

Anyway, I want to give Tony major props as I love it. It's very nice, very well done and he's doing his own thing. I think there are ways it could improve, mostly with some minor dialgoue re-writes, but for the most part it's a fun piece of fan fiction with some of the best TMNT art work I've seen in comic form.

Even though I didn't particularly enjoy the profanity and the April torture scene (after which I took the opportunity to talk with Tony about the fact that true beauty is about more than erotic portrayals of women, to which he seemed awarae), this is his comic and we shouldn't try to alter it to suit our tastes in a manner which the author did not intend. There was some hurt feelings a few years back when some of the Drome members started talking about editing his work to make it better. Tony has made efforts since to improve the dialogue with a writer and tone down the sexuality of stuff like the April torture scene. He's been working hard over the years to make his work the best it can be, so let's not suggest anyone here would to try to edit it without his permission.

Newton Gimmick · 04-20-2008, 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oldmanwinters

Even though I didn't particularly enjoy the profanity and the April torture scene (after which I took the opportunity to talk with Tony about the fact that true beauty is about more than erotic portrayals of women, to which he seemed awarae), this is his comic and we shouldn't try to alter it to suit our tastes in a manner which the author did not intend. There was some hurt feelings a few years back when some of the Drome members started talking about editing his work to make it better. Tony has made efforts since to improve the dialogue with a writer and tone down the sexuality of stuff like the April torture scene. He's been working hard over the years to make his work the best it can be, so let's not suggest anyone here would to try to edit it without his permission.

Meh, I never suggested that I'd go in and "fix" it and re-release it or anything. I simply said for my personal reading, I thought about re-writing the dialogue.

Anyway I don't think I could have been more complimentary then I was. I enjoyed it a lot. There are things that I think could have made it better. The end.

*oldmanwinters* · 04-20-2008, 09:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Newton Gimmick

Meh, I never suggested that I'd go in and "fix" it and re-release it or anything. I simply said for my personal reading, I thought about re-writing the dialogue.

Anyway I don't think I could have been more complimentary then I was. I enjoyed it a lot. There are things that I think could have made it better. The end.

Yeah, I didn't think your comment implied that necessarily, but seeing as this has been an issue before I just wanted to remind everyone of Tony's perspective on the matter. If he were here, I think he'd same something similar.

Off the subject now, it's really great to see Tony's work still getting such great recognition and compliments around the boards. He's one of the few fan artists that really capture the look of the Turtles with his own unique style.

Newton Gimmick · 04-20-2008, 09:59 PM

Actually I'd be willing to donate to the cause if he could crank these out in any kind of timely fashion. Which I'm sure isn't plausible.

Of course you can't directly pay for him to do TMNT comics, but donations to keep his artwork afloat might could be done. It might help get him to work on it more or whatnot.

The stuff is very well done.

Tony Day · 05-01-2008, 03:04 AM

Just wanted to say thanx to u all for reading my comic, some of u who have stuck with it for YEARS!!! i appreciate it.

Just wanted to answer a few points. I have taken on board the suggestions regarding swearing and (semi) nudity. In part two there will be none of the latter and as u can see the swearing has all but gone. (gonna use it when necessary though).

I think Alan's doing a great job at scripting so I passed a few point over too him. About the comedy. He said ,and I agree, that comedy will not have a major role in this chapter because of the nature of the story (dealing with dark issues than the first part) and because its drawing to a close... (however long that takes!!

)

That brings me onto the last point. I will be trying to churn alot more out from now on, so hopefully the pages will become more frequent.

...mmmm donations, i like the sound of that...

, kidding, its a labor of love.

Btw page 18 is up for viewing....

http://www.trydowave.com/

Laterz
Tony

04-20-2008, 12:45 AM	#21
ZariusTwo Overlord Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Britain, DINO THUNDER...POWER UP! Posts: 22,324	I intially liked it, but it's becoming a little strained by it's attempts at being serious. I think it could do with at least another co-writer who can handle the comedic portions so it maintains it's dark storyline, but has dark humour attached to it. For example, and I dont know if this was deliberate or not, but April having Raph's photo on her desk cracked me up when she's meant to be flirting with Casey. Then again, there might be a love triangle building __________________ Spider-Man: The Rescue Spider-Man: The Galloping Cat Spider-Man: Scarlet Mirror Doctor Who: Child of the Daleks

05-01-2008, 03:04 AM	#28
Tony Day Stone Warrior Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Indiana Posts: 559	Hi all Just wanted to say thanx to u all for reading my comic, some of u who have stuck with it for YEARS!!! i appreciate it. Just wanted to answer a few points. I have taken on board the suggestions regarding swearing and (semi) nudity. In part two there will be none of the latter and as u can see the swearing has all but gone. (gonna use it when necessary though). I think Alan's doing a great job at scripting so I passed a few point over too him. About the comedy. He said ,and I agree, that comedy will not have a major role in this chapter because of the nature of the story (dealing with dark issues than the first part) and because its drawing to a close... (however long that takes!!) That brings me onto the last point. I will be trying to churn alot more out from now on, so hopefully the pages will become more frequent. ...mmmm donations, i like the sound of that..., kidding, its a labor of love. Btw page 18 is up for viewing.... http://www.trydowave.com/ Laterz Tony

04-20-2008, 04:45 PM	#23
Newton Gimmick Mad Scientist Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 1,154	Just now read both parts. I must say I really enjoyed it. The art is incredible, the mixing of universes is well done. My only complaints would be some of my typical complaints when it comes to fan fiction. Raph being the super bad ass, gets old with me. The first scene where he basically beats up Mike, seemed forced. I highly enjoyed the near nude April being tortured, it had such a classic fantasy anime charm to it. Amusing to the point I thought any minute now it was going to take a turn into some kind of Hentai, but I was pleased that it didn't. It just towed the line very well. My major overall complaint though is the dialogue. It's good, but I counted at least 57 uses of the S word (Can we cuss here?) anyway that took a lot away from me. Some of them fit with the tone and others just seemed like the word was being pasted in at times. I have half a mind to erase all the text and clean it up just to see how it would read. Anyway, I want to give Tony major props as I love it. It's very nice, very well done and he's doing his own thing. I think there are ways it could improve, mostly with some minor dialgoue re-writes, but for the most part it's a fun piece of fan fiction with some of the best TMNT art work I've seen in comic form.

04-20-2008, 09:59 PM	#27
Newton Gimmick Mad Scientist Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 1,154	Actually I'd be willing to donate to the cause if he could crank these out in any kind of timely fashion. Which I'm sure isn't plausible. Of course you can't directly pay for him to do TMNT comics, but donations to keep his artwork afloat might could be done. It might help get him to work on it more or whatnot. The stuff is very well done.