Holiday Doldrums

[Don Gaddis]

Does anyone else have the holiday blues?

I used to love Christmas. Not the religious aspect of it, as I'm not religious in the slightest, but I used to
love the tree and the exchanging of gifts, etc... But in recent years, I don't know, for some reason I just
don't get the same feeling from it anymore. Part of the reason maybe is that so many of my relatives
and friends are either married with kids or have two incomes... whereas I'm single, no kids, with just a little bit of
income trickling in. So for the last few years, the holidays have produced a strong sense of dread. I start
thinking, "Am I going to be able to afford gifts for everyone? Do I have time to see everyone? If I get
this present for so and so, then I have to also get that present for this other person," and so on.

Another part of the holiday blues... is when you're around so many other people who are married off or have
a significant other. It can really get you down. And I know it shouldn't matter, because married people can
be putting on a show/ pretending to be happy themselves... but it can just stink when you leave the holiday
party or get together on your lonesome, and you see other people walking off and holding hands/ laughing/
having a good time.

Anyway, I know it sounds like a bah-humbug, but I'm usually glad when the whole thing is over. I didn't even care
much about a tree this year. I would've been satisfied with a tree hologram, lol, or something similar. Personally,
I don't think age has much to do with it... from some of my friends, I keep hearing, "Christmas is for kids."
But when I hear that, I think really? I always thought that Christmas was for everyone... sure, someone may have
enjoyed Christmas more as a kid, but I really disagree that there is some sort of phantom age limit cut off
point. Like, "Ohhh, you're such and such age now, no more Christmas for you!"

And I know that this is turning into a lengthy post, but just a few more side notes:

Does anyone else hate it when you feel obligated to buy a gift for someone that you loathe? One of my friends...
man oh man, her little girl! She reminds me of Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka. Just not the most enjoyable kid
to be around. I really don't like the kid and would rather not give her anything, but I give her presents every
year, just to appease her mom/my friend. The kid gets so much stuff, that... I kind of feel like she doesn't
appreciate it? And it's not that I give crappy gifts, it's that the kid is so fickle. One year she didn't like what
I'd gotten her... the kid started wailing and crying, and was about to throw the gift against the wall before the mom
intervened and stopped her. I'll get her expensive things... like nice LEGO sets and whatnot of characters that
her mom says that the little girl likes, but I'll go over to their house... three or four months after Christmas...
and I'll see my gifts sitting around, unopened. Of course, the little girl can do what she wants with her gifts,
but it just kind of leaves a sour taste in my mouth, because I think- well, that was a present or $$$ that
could've gone toward someone else... someone else that I actually enjoy being around.

One last pet peeve: I don't know if anyone else has experienced this or not, but... I often experience this
as a single person... I have a friend who is married with a kid, and her brother also lives with her. We usually
try to get together at her house and exchange presents. I reallllyyy don't care for the husband or the kid (and yes,
this is the same Veruca Salt child that is described above), but I feel obligated to buy for each of them, because I can't
in my heart just bring over a present for my friend and her brother. So, it's like, I'm buying four presents to go four
different ways for them... but yet, my friend is the only one who gives me anything in return. I know it's not about
the getting, it's about the giving/ but at a certain point, I do wish that the other three people in the household would
be thoughtful/ think of me... even if it's just a card, instead of just always taking/ not giving anything back.

Alas, I've written a short story! I apologize! I'm an artist/writer and tend to be wordy.