Conservative states with higher pregnancy rates

[BubblyShell22]

I agree with you there and see your point. I should have pointed it out better than what I did. But sex is always a hot topic among certain groups and they have different methods to teaching it. Frankly, I think that parents should be the ones to also educate their children on the matter so that they know the facts just in case their schools don't teach them about it.

[Jelly Bean]

am I the only one who thinks that maybe it is just kids rebelling against the strictness of sexual morals? It seems pretty contradictive if the reason conservative states have higher preganancies is that birth control and abortion is against their religion when sex out side of marriage would be against there religion too.

[BubblyShell22]

No, I think that's part of it, too, but I do think that some schools are a bit lax when it comes to sex ed.

[Jelly Bean]

I think school, or rather parents are just lax on teaching teenage girls that sleeping around doesn't necassarily mean you are going to be "popular" with boys. Sure you'll get attention but not really the kind you want. Most people in high school slept around because they wanted to be liked and seen as sexy not exactly because they wanted too.I think it says alot of what girls today think if sleeping around it a status symbol. Any body see the movie Easy A.

[plastroncafe]

It's sad that a girl's social worth is measured by her sexual activity.

[Jelly Bean]

and people are wondering why American men are begining to have so much disdain for American women and want forign women instead, like in this thread I made a while back:

http://forums.thetechnodrome.com/showthread.php?t=35748

[plastroncafe]

Those men don't want women, they want property.
Basing a woman's worth on her virginity plays into the idea that women are a commodity.

[Type 97 Chi-ha]

And males aren't viewed as worthwhile commodities as well? Like how much money they have or how they look?

As for women being valued by sexual activity, why not? Would you really want to sleep with someone likely to have some venereal disease?

[Candy Kappa]

Originally Posted by Type 97 Chi-ha

As for women being valued by sexual activity, why not? Would you really want to sleep with someone likely to have some venereal disease?

wouldn't this comment go both ways?

I highly doubt chest-hair protects a guy against nasty diseases

[Jelly Bean]

Originally Posted by Type 97 Chi-ha

And males aren't viewed as worthwhile commodities as well? Like how much money they have or how they look? As for women being valued by sexual activity, why not? Would you really want to sleep with someone likely to have some venereal disease?

did she ever imply that men wheren't? She was just talking about how women are and it's true? I don't get why some guys get defensive about this. I underatand you don't want to get attacked as being "sexist" but I never understood why some guys try to gloss over the fact that sexual objectification is something that happens to women, by saying the same thing happen to them. Yes it does. It very shallow and women who do are lazy and hypocritical, but the difference is that men are rarely stigmitized as dirty or worthless for being sexual like women do.

I'm sorry if I am coming off as atagonisitic or "emotional," and I really don't want to start a snarkfest between the sexes on here, but I get annoyed with this "shut-up it happens to us too" attitude some guys get when it comes to topics like this when really it doesn't affect guys the same it affects girls. I get it. Guys get treated lik crap and are used by women as care takers and human wallets and I'm not maginalizing that, but when I see attitudes like that from guys I do feel they are marginalizing our side.

I'm sorry, I'm not trying to cause problems or even saying that 97 Chi-ha isn't allowed to voice his opinion (which is true) and maybe I'm way off base but this something I felt I needed to get off my chest.Sorry for offending anyone.

[Type 97 Chi-ha]

Put it this way-do other women think well of females who sleep around? I'm willing to bet the answer is no.

BTW, years ago a men's magazine (I don't remember which) had an article about a married man who bragged about having a number of extramarital affairs, and who called himself a romantic. The letters written in response-by other males-were invariably negative and condemnatory of this man.

[NameGoesHere1066]

Originally Posted by Katie

Kids down here aren't freaks who think you gotta wait for marriage.....or don't know anything about sex... jesus, media.

why is there this mentality that if some wants to wait until marriage they are freaks?





Or for that matter why do people think if you want want to wait for the right person before having sex (like waiting for marriage) that you are a relgious nut job? So many people act like if someone wants to wait they are archaic idiots or goody-goods. Actually I rather respect someone who wants to wait, personly it's not for me, but I marvel at the amount of flack some people get when they express that they would rather wait. There is this guy I know who is a grad student and he said that he wants to wait till he meets the right girl. He is not religious he just said he has become disenchanted with casual sex or sex with girls that end is breaking up after a while. This guy gets so much sh** from his male buddies, he's beeen called everything from a nerd to a ****** to religious fanitic (when he is actually agnostic)it's is so sad. He's not gay and he is a really decent guy, but everyone treat him like he's a freak. What the hell!

Put it this way-do other women think well of females who sleep around? I'm willing to bet the answer is no.

I agree with you , but it is really more complex than that. It is a double edged sword women want to be sexually liberated but there is fine line between female stud and a slut/whore and most women do not want to be associated with that so they do what they can (including turning on other women) to distance themself from that. Because like it or not, a woman's worth is still judged on her purity. And I'm sorry this come out of Patriarch soceity. Thats a fact. But it's women's falt for abetting it. I saw a story on the news where of a muslim woman accused of adultry was stoned to death, not by men but by other women.

BTW, years ago a men's magazine (I don't remember which) had an article about a married man who bragged about having a number of extramarital affairs, and who called himself a romantic. The letters written in response-by other males-were invariably negative and condemnatory of this man.

if that is true than that is a pretty sign that things are changing for the better.

[Type 97 Chi-ha]

Originally Posted by NameGoesHere1066

I agree with you , but it is really more complex than that. It is a double edged sword women want to be sexually liberated but there is fine line between female stud and a slut/whore and most women do not want to be associated with that so they do what they can (including turning on other women) to distance themself from that. Because like it or not, a woman's worth is still judged on her purity. And I'm sorry this come out of Patriarch soceity. Thats a fact. But it's women's falt for abetting it. I saw a story on the news where of a muslim woman accused of adultry was stoned to death, not by men but by other women.

You seem to assume that men create all of society's rules and women have no say and passively go along with what men want. On the contrary I have found that women have quite a lot of power in society, and certainly they would dictate sexual rules along with the men. After all, they're the ones who get pregnant, and are more likely to catch VD from sleeping around. If you're still convinced over womens' powerlessness, try reading literature from decades or centuries ago, and note how men and women behave in various poems or stories.

[Sage Ninja]

On the contrary I have found that women have quite a lot of power in society

In hunter and Gathering societies of the past you are right, there was alot more equality among men and women where both had equal say and contributed. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hunter-gatherer
It was mostly agricultural societies where women had a lower status. Contemporary society we have more say.

Frankly, I think that parents should be the ones to also educate their children on the matter so that they know the facts just in case their schools don't teach them about it.

My parents were too shy to approach the subject and my mother didn't even aknoweldge it beyond telling me about my menses. Alot of parents just don't seem to want to tackle the issue. My mother said her father made her step mother do it but she decided to just give my mom a book about it instead. My Mother was new to the country and understood little english and misunderstood the book because it used alot of metaphores. She said she thought it was a book on flowers and gardening. Some how I still don't think parents are beyond this indirect way of teaching sex.

[BubblyShell22]

Yeah, my mom never had the talk with me at all. I had to learn it at school. But still, I think that parents need to do it anyway. Yeah, they may feel uncomfortable about it, but it would be worth it as long as their kids know what sex is about and the dangers it can present if they don't take proper precautions.

As for waiting until marriage, it's fine if you want to do that. It's your choice. It's not for me at all. Plus, I doubt I'll be getting married because if I do, my BF's Social Security benefits might get taken away. So, for that alone, I'd rather just have sex without marriage involved.

[Hannah]

The most widely taught [abstinence-only] course is called "Sex Respect," which has been purchased by approximately two thousand school districts nationwide. The text states that "There’s no way to have premarital sex without hurting someone," and in an accompanying video a student asks, "What if I want to have sex before I get married?" The instructor replies, "Well, I guess you'll just have to be prepared to die. And you'll probably take with you your spouse and one or more of your children." Abortion is referred to only as "killing the baby." In the narratives presented in "Sex Respect," premarital sex always leads to pregnancy or disease; there is no mention of contraceptives or abortion. Even in the best-case scenario, the curriculum says, premarital sex will cause severe emotional pain ("There's no condom strong enough to protect my heart"). Other abstinence-only curricula exaggerate the failure rate of condoms and suggest that after sex when a condom is used, the genitals should be washed with Lysol.

— “Slut!” by Leora Tanenbaum (2000)

All I can say is that when I have children I am going to teach them from an early age that sex is OK and not dirty and unnatural. Even my own mother (who is very liberal) never gave me "the talk" and made me feel ashamed of myself and my choices when I was 14 when she was grilling me about whether I was a virgin or not. She's come a long way since then, I think, a lot thanks to me, but it's frightening how uninformed even she was just a few years ago. I remember her trying to tell me that the doctors would be able to tell if I've had sex so I better just own up to it then.
Sex is natural and good and fun if you are ready, express consent, and practice it safely. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

Originally Posted by Jelly Bean

I think school, or rather parents are just lax on teaching teenage girls that sleeping around doesn't necassarily mean you are going to be "popular" with boys. Sure you'll get attention but not really the kind you want. Most people in high school slept around because they wanted to be liked and seen as sexy not exactly because they wanted too.I think it says alot of what girls today think if sleeping around it a status symbol. Any body see the movie Easy A.

If you're relating that post to Easy A... Easy A is a great movie that comments on slut-shaming and the way we use someone else's sexuality to shame them.
"I might even lose my virginity to him. I don't know when will it happen. You know, maybe in five minutes, or tonight, or sixth months from now, or maybe on the night of our wedding. But the really amazing this is, it is nobody's goddamn business."

[BubblyShell22]

Wow. Interesting post, Hannah. I'd never buy that book. It's just that in our society, sex is seen as dirty and unnatural, mostly to the overly religious crowd. And these people are so stupid if they think you can die by having sex.

[Hannah]

Originally Posted by BubblyShell22

Wow. Interesting post, Hannah. I'd never buy that book. It's just that in our society, sex is seen as dirty and unnatural, mostly to the overly religious crowd. And these people are so stupid if they think you can die by having sex.

Well, yeah, that's the problem. Kids are being taught that sex will kill them, if not physically, then emotionally. They're taught that contraception doesn't work. So why use it? Abstinence only sex ed doesn't keep people from having sex. It keeps them from having good sex. It keeps them from enjoying themselves and protecting themselves. It blurs the line between consent and rape by portraying all nonmarital sex as bad and wrong and never to be spoken of. Abstinence only education is wrong and harmful.

[BubblyShell22]

Exactly. People need to learn that consensual sex within the confines of a committed relationship is just fine as long as you plan ahead and use protection. It's not wrong or dirty or immoral. Unfortunately, that'll never happen as there are some people who are too biased about the whole thing.

[Hannah]

You don't need no relationship fo' good sex, yo.