I'm real messed up.. - Page 4

*kyabetsu* · 10-08-2003, 06:12 AM

i can't SPEAK for stryker...

but guys, and you'll have to trust me on this one, b/c i've been there, did the cutting, wore the bandages, dealt with the lack of trust that comes AFTERWARDS when no one thinks you won't try it again....

and as for what stryker's done on this thread? the looking for any kind of support, then pushing it away?

lemme let you in on a secret:

when you're suididal... you're not rational.
you LOOK for help, but it DOESN"T change the problem and that's almost more frustrating than the problem itself. you CAN"T think clearly. and no. there's not much that fixs the problem... it's a nasty spiral ... obviously... b/c the only answer you can see is eliminating the root of the problem: YOU.

so.
elite5raph, i'm GLAD you got your head back on enough that you can take a rational approach to your problems. that's a hard slope to climb and i'm glad to see you're near the top of it.

Stryker?
hey. look. there's nothing i can say in here that'll make the whole hurting thing stop. Or unravel the problems. Or make you feel less trapped. But.
even though i KNOW there's very little that this will actually change, I can say:

i've been there. and it does get better... it's a long dark road. it's not easy. and at times you question whether it was all just wasted effort. but trust me. we'd miss you if you weren't here. your family would miss you. your friends would miss you. You are not insignificant HERE. even if it would fix whatever problems are haunting you elsewhere, you can't escape the fact that you'd make new problems in the lives of people who care about you if you were to kill yourself, or even attempt to hurt yourself.

it may even feel WORSE once you realize death is not an option, but i'm telling you, stryker... you aren't trapped, it does get better.

good luck. i don't expect you to get instantly better. when it's come this far, it's hard to turn back around. and it's important to understand that. but i do hope you come back to yourself again. we'll be waiting for you, however long it takes.

10-08-2003, 06:12 AM	#61
kyabetsu Foot Elite Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: under my hat Posts: 4,393	i can't SPEAK for stryker... but guys, and you'll have to trust me on this one, b/c i've been there, did the cutting, wore the bandages, dealt with the lack of trust that comes AFTERWARDS when no one thinks you won't try it again.... and as for what stryker's done on this thread? the looking for any kind of support, then pushing it away? lemme let you in on a secret: when you're suididal... you're not rational. you LOOK for help, but it DOESN"T change the problem and that's almost more frustrating than the problem itself. you CAN"T think clearly. and no. there's not much that fixs the problem... it's a nasty spiral ... obviously... b/c the only answer you can see is eliminating the root of the problem: YOU. so. elite5raph, i'm GLAD you got your head back on enough that you can take a rational approach to your problems. that's a hard slope to climb and i'm glad to see you're near the top of it. Stryker? hey. look. there's nothing i can say in here that'll make the whole hurting thing stop. Or unravel the problems. Or make you feel less trapped. But. even though i KNOW there's very little that this will actually change, I can say: i've been there. and it does get better... it's a long dark road. it's not easy. and at times you question whether it was all just wasted effort. but trust me. we'd miss you if you weren't here. your family would miss you. your friends would miss you. You are not insignificant HERE. even if it would fix whatever problems are haunting you elsewhere, you can't escape the fact that you'd make new problems in the lives of people who care about you if you were to kill yourself, or even attempt to hurt yourself. it may even feel WORSE once you realize death is not an option, but i'm telling you, stryker... you aren't trapped, it does get better. good luck. i don't expect you to get instantly better. when it's come this far, it's hard to turn back around. and it's important to understand that. but i do hope you come back to yourself again. we'll be waiting for you, however long it takes.