Are you rich or well off?

[Leo656]

It's generally considered a point of shame to have other people drive you places, yes. It's considered a symptom of not having one's life together.

I don't entirely agree, since I don't drive due to circumstances far beyond my control, but it's not something I openly brag about. And I've definitely been passed over for jobs because of it. And that's just when I tell them that my wife drives me, that gets enough of an eyebrow-raise. If it was "My wife's parents drive me" (since my parents are dead) I'd never get hired anywhere again.

I've even been passed over for raises and promotions simply because the boss knew I didn't drive, even though it never affected my attendance or ability to work in any way. It isn't fair, but people judge you. If you're constantly dependent on other people to get you to and from places, it just makes you look like a bum or a leech. Again, I don't agree with it, but it's absolutely how things work.

Even if you live in an area where driving is impractical, which is understandable, saying out loud "My parents drive me everywhere" is... well, you shouldn't brag about it. There is no social situation where that is considered "acceptable". Just a heads up.

[PizzaPower1985]

Originally Posted by Leo656

It's generally considered a point of shame to have other people drive you places, yes. It's considered a symptom of not having one's life together.

I don't entirely agree, since I don't drive due to circumstances far beyond my control, but it's not something I openly brag about. And I've definitely been passed over for jobs because of it. And that's just when I tell them that my wife drives me, that gets enough of an eyebrow-raise. If it was "My wife's parents drive me" (since my parents are dead) I'd never get hired anywhere again.

I've even been passed over for raises and promotions simply because the boss knew I didn't drive, even though it never affected my attendance or ability to work in any way. It isn't fair, but people judge you. If you're constantly dependent on other people to get you to and from places, it just makes you look like a bum or a leech. Again, I don't agree with it, but it's absolutely how things work.

Even if you live in an area where driving is impractical, which is understandable, saying out loud "My parents drive me everywhere" is... well, you shouldn't brag about it. There is no social situation where that is considered "acceptable". Just a heads up.

My driving record has been medically frozen by the DMV since I was 15. Because I broke my back. I really resent sh*tty people who can't make exceptions for those of us who have actually had hard lives. I have made it 20 years fine without driving. I EVEN OWN A F*CKING CAR! It's not that bad as long as you have a means to get around. In my case, my wife is my primary driver. Drives me to work now and before this job, she drove me to all my client meetings.

There is literally NOTHING wrong with not being able to drive a car! Think otherwise, you can suck on a tailpipe for all I care!

[Leo656]

I mean, objectively you're right. It's just that perception = reality even though it shouldn't.

People see a person who "can't drive" and they automatically assume that person just never got their sh*t together, that they're either irresponsible or incompetent. And you can explain it all day, week, month and year, but they'll never change their minds. "I hear you man, but... I'unno, I still think you need to figure out a way to get your license. I mean who doesn't drive?" Again, it's worse depending on where you live but even when it's a situation where you absolutely can't and it's absolutely not your fault, and it's not something that can be fixed or resolved... people still treat you like you're retarded.

Believe me, I've had more experience than most people with this topic. I've heard the phrase "What do YOU know? You don't even drive!" enough for six lifetimes. You can point to all the other things you've accomplished or maintained in your life, but they'll still judge you predominantly by whether or not the state recognizes your right to drive a car. Junkies get more respect than people who don't drive.

I absolutely don't like it, but that's the way it is. It shouldn't be that way, but it is. And it's a huge reason I'm not looking forward to having to look for work again after 10 years. I REALLY don't want to go through all that bullsh*t of explaining and being stink-eyed AGAIN over something that I had nothing to do with and isn't even my fault. But, it is what it is.

[Last Ronin]

I've been driving since late 90's and it sucks. Sure you can go anywhere and everywhere but why? The damn popo's here stop you just to meet their uotas. I mean, people have been pulled over because of going one mile over the speed limit. F*ck that.

[CyberCubed]

I have my license, and back in 2005-2008 I drove my father's old 1987 Toyota to college every day until it died...because it was from 1987. And since then I just never got a car of my own.

To be honest I'm not even sure I remember how to drive. I haven't drove anything since like 2008 and that was over 12 years ago now. Kinda shocking when I stopped to realize I haven't drove a car in over a decade. I'm sure if I get used to it I could drive again, but for now, there's no point.

I guess some of you don't understand because you don't live in New York. The subway here literally takes you anywhere you want to go, and everything else is within walking distance. As I said before, in the rare times I do need to drive somewhere really far that trains don't go to, I usually go with my parents to wherever it needs be.

Technically I can buy a car right now if I wanted to, I obviously have more than enough...but...there's no point. Not to mention dealing with parking on the street or renting a garage space is too much a headache for me to deal with.

[Leo656]

No, we get it, and those are perfectly valid reasons to not drive. It wouldn't make sense in your situation.

It's just that there's a certain social stigma regardless that suggests it's bad form to say out loud, "If I need a ride I have my parents drive me." You don't go around saying that kind of thing out loud, people are gonna look down on you for it regardless of the reason.

It's like my wife and I having to live with her parents or else she loses her disability stipend (among other reasons). It's a valid reason and an increasingly-common situation, but still, you don't go around bragging about it or bringing it up in conversations with people who don't already know. "Valid reason" or no, they're gonna look at the situation and say "Hah, what a loser!" and you have to expect that, is all.

There's a whole self-awareness thing in realizing that certain things aren't spoken out loud because they're nobody's business, but you need to realize that if you DO speak them, people ARE going to judge you over it whether they're being fair or not.

Just trying to help you out. I know you don't care what people think of you, I'm just explaining that this is how people think when you say certain things out loud.

[PizzaPower1985]

Originally Posted by Leo656

No, we get it, and those are perfectly valid reasons to not drive. It wouldn't make sense in your situation.

It's just that there's a certain social stigma regardless that suggests it's bad form to say out loud, "If I need a ride I have my parents drive me." You don't go around saying that kind of thing out loud, people are gonna look down on you for it regardless of the reason.

It's like my wife and I having to live with her parents or else she loses her disability stipend (among other reasons). It's a valid reason and an increasingly-common situation, but still, you don't go around bragging about it or bringing it up in conversations with people who don't already know. "Valid reason" or no, they're gonna look at the situation and say "Hah, what a loser!" and you have to expect that, is all.

There's a whole self-awareness thing in realizing that certain things aren't spoken out loud because they're nobody's business, but you need to realize that if you DO speak them, people ARE going to judge you over it whether they're being fair or not.

Just trying to help you out. I know you don't care what people think of you, I'm just explaining that this is how people think when you say certain things out loud.

I might add... I do know how to drive... I drive 2 miles to the gas station at times and also get behind the wheel to warm up the ol' Honda when its cold. Also... to those that do drive, can you identify parts under your hood? Do you know what a steering pump looks like? an alternator? a throttle body? can you change your own oil? I am very smart about cars and can do my own oil changes and do not drive.

Looking down on people for not driving is just a status thing. It's dumb. Like, why do you live in an apartment? Or trailer? or whatever? Why have you not bought a house and paid it off by 35? See? It's dumb to hold people to such things. Everyone is different and has different needs, circumstances, etc.

[PizzaPower1985]

Originally Posted by CyberCubed

I have my license, and back in 2005-2008 I drove my father's old 1987 Toyota to college every day until it died...because it was from 1987. And since then I just never got a car of my own.

To be honest I'm not even sure I remember how to drive. I haven't drove anything since like 2008 and that was over 12 years ago now. Kinda shocking when I stopped to realize I haven't drove a car in over a decade. I'm sure if I get used to it I could drive again, but for now, there's no point.

I guess some of you don't understand because you don't live in New York. The subway here literally takes you anywhere you want to go, and everything else is within walking distance. As I said before, in the rare times I do need to drive somewhere really far that trains don't go to, I usually go with my parents to wherever it needs be.

Technically I can buy a car right now if I wanted to, I obviously have more than enough...but...there's no point. Not to mention dealing with parking on the street or renting a garage space is too much a headache for me to deal with.

IF YOUR PARENTS CAR ONLY LASTED 21 YEARS BEFORE IT DIED, YOU MUST HAVE NOT TAKEN CARE OF IT. Cars are made to last far longer than that with maintenance.

[ssjup81]

Originally Posted by CyberCubed

I have my license, and back in 2005-2008 I drove my father's old 1987 Toyota to college every day until it died...because it was from 1987. And since then I just never got a car of my own.

To be honest I'm not even sure I remember how to drive. I haven't drove anything since like 2008 and that was over 12 years ago now. Kinda shocking when I stopped to realize I haven't drove a car in over a decade. I'm sure if I get used to it I could drive again, but for now, there's no point.

I guess some of you don't understand because you don't live in New York. The subway here literally takes you anywhere you want to go, and everything else is within walking distance. As I said before, in the rare times I do need to drive somewhere really far that trains don't go to, I usually go with my parents to wherever it needs be.

Technically I can buy a car right now if I wanted to, I obviously have more than enough...but...there's no point. Not to mention dealing with parking on the street or renting a garage space is too much a headache for me to deal with.

Still weird that you need your parents to drive you places when you should be able to just do so on your own, like maybe borrow the car if need be.

As for not driving, though for a long period of time, I do understand that. While living in Japan my first year, I didn't drive at all. I lived across the street from a convenient store (pre-ordered Pokemon Black and Black 2 through it lol). I wasn't near a station or anything and my job was about a 30-minute-walk..if going through the rice field...about 40-50 with snow and ice on the ground.

Moving back home that next year, it felt weird having to drive again. Then I moved back over to Japan in 2012 and that year I didn't drive at all, but walking was a hassle because nothing was particularly close to me including my job and the good supermarket. In 2013, I got a new job while over there, moved, and for that job, I had not choice but to drive for the job because I had to travel to different companies. The area was also a rural area so driving in that area would make sense. I only drove when I had to, because my actual job was within walking distance as was the supermarket. I even got a Japanese license that expired last year (and man, it was legit hell trying to get it). Even the kappenzushi restaurant (conveyor belt sushi restaurant) wasn't too far out of the way and I'd just walk there. About a 15-minute walk without snow. Driving to the businesses (Panasonic, Casio, etc.) to do my lessons was maybe once a week or a couple of times a month, that type of thing. Other places, it was simple enough to just walk to the train station (7-minute walk) to go into the city area and walk to where I have to go from there.

When I moved to Tokyo (2015 - 2018 ), I didn't drive at all. Definitely was no need. Public transportation there was very convenient. We had bus stops right in front of and near my building. I had access to four train stations (three reg stations, one subway station) that the bus could take us. Supermarket was right across the street. 7-11 was next to my building, so if I needed the ATM to get funds from the US side, it was easy to do. I was even near a dentist and a doctor's office. Dentist was next door, doctor across the street.

After returning home in 2018, it did feel awkward driving again and even now, I still have to remind myself, "Stay to the left, stay to the left".

So yeah...if I hadn't driven as long as you have, I would be a bit nervous about doing so if it came up.

Edit: Oh yeah...forgot to bring this up. If I lived in NYC, I'd avoid driving at all costs too, honestly. I HATE it up there. As a matter of fact, whenever driving up to New York, even though it's been a few years, I would always stop, before entering the state, pull over to the shoulder and switch with the other person with me, because I can't handle that chaotic driving. It's just as annoying as driving around D.C. to me, only worse there. My father is from New York, so he has to drive whenever we visit. If by myself, I use the public transit.

[Coola Yagami]

I guess I make the average income. I'm not rich by any means but I'm at a place where I can afford my bills, my rent and don't have to worry about where my next meal will come from.

Sadly I'd have more money if DoorDash and GrubHub weren't a thing.... but I'm working on that.

This year the whole CoVid thing helped me save a up a bit because my usual flight out to visit my brother and go to an anime con was cancelled so that money for my plane ticket is just there waiting for next year I guess.

[Coola Yagami]

Originally Posted by Barkworm

I really wonder what you look like, Cubed. And whether you have any real life contacts.

I kinda don't. Maybe on my last dying day Cubed can text me a pic of himself saying 'see you on the other side', and I can die peacefully knowing.

But right now it's too soon. It's like no matter what Cubed looks like, you know it's gonna be a disappointment compared to whatever image you have of him in your mind.

[Leo656]

Originally Posted by ssjup81

Edit: Oh yeah...forgot to bring this up. If I lived in NYC, I'd avoid driving at all costs too, honestly. I HATE it up there. As a matter of fact, whenever driving up to New York, even though it's been a few years, I would always stop, before entering the state, pull over to the shoulder and switch with the other person with me, because I can't handle that chaotic driving. It's just as annoying as driving around D.C. to me, only worse there. My father is from New York, so he has to drive whenever we visit. If by myself, I use the public transit.

Seriously, f*ck New York. Like literally all of it. Every single time I go there something bad happens and I just really can't stand it in general. It's noisy, it's filthy, everything is overpriced and the people are goddamn rude.

But yeah, they also can't drive. And then so many of them come down here and thoroughly expose how inexperienced they are at operating their vehicle past 5mph gridlock conditions. We get people from all over around here, but New Yorkers are the absolute dirt worst. And when they inevitably almost cause an accident they of course try and act like you're the asshole.

Why people romanticize that toilet full of human scabs is beyond me. I'd sell all of it back to the Indians for a ham and cheese sandwich. They probably wouldn't even want it back, look what the f*ck we did to it. Blech.

[Coola Yagami]

Originally Posted by Leo656

Seriously, f*ck New York. Like literally all of it. Every single time I go there something bad happens and I just really can't stand it in general. It's noisy, it's filthy, everything is overpriced and the people are goddamn rude.

But yeah, they also can't drive. And then so many of them come down here and thoroughly expose how inexperienced they are at operating their vehicle past 5mph gridlock conditions. We get people from all over around here, but New Yorkers are the absolute dirt worst. And when they inevitably almost cause an accident they of course try and act like you're the asshole.

Why people romanticize that toilet full of human scabs is beyond me. I'd sell all of it back to the Indians for a ham and cheese sandwich. They probably wouldn't even want it back, look what the f*ck we did to it. Blech.

And yet for some reason it's where all the superheroes and super villains and whanot mostly set up camp.

I feel if some dark entity wants to claim New York as its own, the Ninja Turtles, the Ghostbusters and all the Marvel heroes that live in New York will team up to say 'you can have it'.

[Coola Yagami]

Originally Posted by Leo656

My best advice to anyone if they want to save money is, "Don't ever get married."

Been there, done that, no rush for a second go-around. Plus I've gotten too used to living alone and on my own terms, I wouldn't want to bring a woman into my life and have her tell what to do. Hard pass.

[Leo656]

I mean, obviously New York would require a lot of super-heroes, on account of it's such a sh*thole. Duh.

They're not gonna go to NICE places, there's no work there for 'em.

[Last Ronin]

Crap, and that's like on my bucket list to go to. I want to go to NY and just tour the big apple. I don't want to live there oh hell nah, just visit then come back home.

[PizzaPower1985]

Originally Posted by Last Ronin

Crap, and that's like on my bucket list to go to. I want to go to NY and just tour the big apple. I don't want to live there oh hell nah, just visit then come back home.

The NYC of today is nothing like the old, good New York... It's full of a bunch of rich @sshole capitalists and everything North of 21st street is clean and bright. The further south you go on Manhattan Island though, it gets there. TMNT's NYC from the 1990 film IS HEAVEN. There will never again be a city like it. You can go to the slums and get an approximation but even then, UBER drivers and zombies on Apple phones are everywhere. Staten Island used to have the CROPSEY legend... now it has soccer moms.
The Bronx and Brooklyn used to be awesome. Now, they just suck!

NYC is not worth visiting because the grit, the dirty, the violence and badass rotten buildings are gone! Eastman and Laird's NYC, the NYC of gritty crime dramas is just no longer there. I said this to CKD... Kick out all the suits, bring back the artists, musicians, bangers and whores AND THAT'S MY NYC!

Heroin and crack made everything better! F*CK GUILIANI... He can burn in HELL!

[Last Ronin]

Originally Posted by PizzaPower1985

The NYC of today is nothing like the old, good New York... It's full of a bunch of rich @sshole capitalists and everything North of 21st street is clean and bright. The further south you go on Manhattan Island though, it gets there. TMNT's NYC from the 1990 film IS HEAVEN. There will never again be a city like it. You can go to the slums and get an approximation but even then, UBER drivers and zombies on Apple phones are everywhere. Staten Island used to have the CROPSEY legend... now it has soccer moms.
The Bronx and Brooklyn used to be awesome. Now, they just suck!

NYC is not worth visiting because the grit, the dirty, the violence and badass rotten buildings are gone! Eastman and Laird's NYC, the NYC of gritty crime dramas is just no longer there. I said this to CKD... Kick out all the suits, bring back the artists, musicians, bangers and whores AND THAT'S MY NYC!

Heroin and crack made everything better! F*CK GUILIANI... He can burn in HELL!

HELL YEAH, now that's what I'm talking about. Great response man.

Bring back the crack and whores.
Bring back the crack and whores.

[Cure]

Originally Posted by PizzaPower1985

The NYC of today is nothing like the old, good New York... It's full of a bunch of rich @sshole capitalists and everything North of 21st street is clean and bright. The further south you go on Manhattan Island though, it gets there. TMNT's NYC from the 1990 film IS HEAVEN. There will never again be a city like it. You can go to the slums and get an approximation but even then, UBER drivers and zombies on Apple phones are everywhere. Staten Island used to have the CROPSEY legend... now it has soccer moms.
The Bronx and Brooklyn used to be awesome. Now, they just suck!

NYC is not worth visiting because the grit, the dirty, the violence and badass rotten buildings are gone! Eastman and Laird's NYC, the NYC of gritty crime dramas is just no longer there. I said this to CKD... Kick out all the suits, bring back the artists, musicians, bangers and whores AND THAT'S MY NYC!

Heroin and crack made everything better! F*CK GUILIANI... He can burn in HELL!

You're from North Carolina.

[PizzaPower1985]

Originally Posted by Cure

You're from North Carolina.

Quiet, you! That has nothing to do with anything. I've been to both 1990s and Post 2000 NYC.