Depression is getting more and more common nowadays. Why?

[Prowler]

Oh yeah, when I was a kid and I'd ask my mother and my grandmother what other relatives were like they'd paint very positive images of them. Especially about my maternal grandfather. He just sounded like the kind of cool uncle type of guy I've always wanted. And it used to sadden me a bit that he died a few years before I was born.

But as an adult, I began learning more about him and turns out he was not a very good guy after all. My grandmother told me very unsavory things about him. It now made sense why my grandmother was the way she was. Had I known that at least a decade earlier, I'd have understood her better and know how to approach her better.

I understand there's things parents and adult relatives in general just aren't supposed to tell kids, but still...

[IndigoErth]

Yeah, once people are adults they deserve to know things, at the very least if they're asking about someone.

Being kept in the dark isn't exactly sparing anyone and all it did for my mom was create more tension with her sister, since to her not being told felt like she was not being treated like family.

[Wesley]

Originally Posted by IndigoErth

The meds would fix it and too young to understand?

Sounds similar to efforts of some of my own older relatives trying to keep family "secrets" swept under the rug, because those older generations didn't feel it right to air someone's "dirty laundry" by discussing or acknowledging it.

You’re right. Thanks for your insight.

Originally Posted by IndigoErth

Yeah, once people are adults they deserve to know things, at the very least if they're asking about someone.

Being kept in the dark isn't exactly sparing anyone and all it did for my mom was create more tension with her sister, since to her not being told felt like she was not being treated like family.

My mother and I were kept in the dark too. It was a niece of dad’s who told us he died, not the nurses or doctors. Dad had put the niece down as his next-of-kin saying it was for convenience.

We’re not bothered. We had little interaction with most of Dad’s extended family so it’s no loss. The only family member of his we get on well with is a cousin from Wales and she doesn’t get on well with them either lol.

One good thing that happened to me in 2020 is I got back in touch with cousins on my mother’s side of the family and friends from school I had lost contact with.

[FredWolfLeonardo]

This seems like the appropriate thread for it, so I thought I'd share some of my life experiences. Now, I have never been diagnosed with Clinical Depression, but there was a point in my life where I used to feel horrible everyday and seriously considered suicide on more than one occassion, even calling the suicide hotline in the middle of the night once because I didn't know what else to do.

So I may have been depressed or may not have been, but I hope that some of the tips that I share will be useful. It was a slow process to get out of that dark place but I adopted some of the following behaviours which helped me over the years:

1. I began valuing friendships more and made sure to keep in touch with my real friends regularly. Having someone to keep in touch with is an important part of human behaviour and can't be ignored, you need to know that people love you, remember you, miss you and worry about you when you're not there. My most important and close friendships are with my immediate/extended family and my racial group, who in total would be more than 100 people off the top of my head.

2. I joined social groups which made me feel like that I was helping myself and wider society. My two clubs at the moment are Bootcamp, which helps improve your physical fitness with military-style exercise, as well as my local speech club which gives me an opportunity to not only focus on my confidence, but also acts as a good way for me to share my ideas with public speeches infronts of hundreds of people sometimes, and make a difference in society. Plus, social groups give you genuine connections to the other people, it is amazing what people can do together rather than just alone.

3. I paid regular visits to the relevant Health Authorities like Doctors, Psychologists and Dentists. Although I never discussed my suicidal thoughts which I should have, I made sure to have my health checked regularly, and follow their instructions because Health Professionals have worked a long time to get qualified, and definetly do have the authority to make Health Recommendations and Mandates. If a Doctor prescribed me anti-depressants, I would take them at their word and not question their authority for my own sake.

4. I became religious once again. Believe it or not, but this man was once a hardcore Atheist for around 6 months, ridiculing God and calling him a Fairy Tale repeatedly just like some members here do. Living in a Secular Country, I did not face any ostracization for my belief but being Atheist in of itself in my experience is empty and devoid of Joy, in addition to being a False belief. Thank God I'm no longer an Atheist, as being religious and living with religious restrictions is a superior model to live life.

5. I kept time for hobbies and simple pleasures even in midst of all the busy work I endured. My hobbies are art, History, Cartoons, listening to Classical music, horror stories, video games, and all things sweet and sugary.

[Prowler]

I didn't know you went through such a hard time before. I'm happy to know you were able to overcome it.

I've never called any of those free hotlines for suicide prevention. I've never seriously considered committing suicide. Like, OK, it has crossed my mind several times before, but to actually attempt it? No, never. Why? Because I'm too scared. Not of dying exactly, but more like I'm scared of getting too hurt to the point of ending up disabled. Most suicide attempts fail and most suicide survivors regret ever attempting it in the first place. Therefore it just seems like a terrible idea. The human body is tougher than we give it credit for. And people don't die that easily.

I guess it's a good sign I haven't attempted it, since it means I haven't fully lost my mind yet. And I hope I never do.

Besides, I don't believe in God or the afterlife. So what good is it gonna be being dead? The few pleasures I have left in life such as music and video games aren't going to be there after I die. So might as well stay alive and try to defeat depression.

[Wesley]

Originally Posted by Prowler

I've never called any of those free hotlines for suicide prevention. I've never seriously considered committing suicide. Like, OK, it has crossed my mind several times before, but to actually attempt it? No, never. Why? Because I'm too scared. Not of dying exactly, but more like I'm scared of getting too hurt to the point of ending up disabled. Most suicide attempts fail and most suicide survivors regret ever attempting it in the first place. Therefore it just seems like a terrible idea. The human body is tougher than we give it credit for. And people don't die that easily.

Agreed. For me there’s also the fear of the unknown thinking I could end up trapped in some sort of dimensional limbo if I did die by suicide. And it would just cause more suffering and wouldn’t solve the problem.

I don’t suffer with depression, but I found some of FredWolfLeonardo’s tips great to hear and I’m also glad he’s overcome it.

One tip I’d recommend is to try doing a few part time courses. I learnt lots and expanded my social circle a lot recently through doing courses at my local education centre. It’s been a safe and supportive environment for getting back into education.

[Prowler]

Originally Posted by Wesley

Agreed. For me there’s also the fear of the unknown thinking I could end up trapped in some sort of dimensional limbo if I did die by suicide. And it would just cause more suffering and wouldn’t solve the problem.

I don’t suffer with depression, but I found some of FredWolfLeonardo’s tips great to hear and I’m also glad he’s overcome it.

One tip I’d recommend is to try doing a few part time courses. I learnt lots and expanded my social circle a lot recently through doing courses at my local education centre. It’s been a safe and supportive environment for getting back into education.

Dimensional limbo? Explain that. What do you imagine it to be like?

For me, I imagine death as basically being an eternal sleep where everything is pitch black and you are unable to dream. There's stories of people who have been "seas" for a few minutes at the hospital and they pretty much describe it as like that. They felt and heard nothing. They just woke up and been told "technically you were dead for a few minutes".

Doesn't sound stressful but doesn't sound fun either. I can understand people believing in reincarnation and the afterlife. In fact, that seems to be the point of religion. To know what happens to us when we die and if there's a purpose to all of this. Death scares people and deep down they don't want their lives to have a definite end.

Everyone has their ways to cope and deal with pain. Some do it in healthier ways than others. Sadly some people end up using alcohol and drugs to soothe the pain and thus create another problem.

I made a decision to never drink a sip of alcohol again after I got diagnosed with depression. Do I miss having the occasional beer? Sure. But you're not supposed to drink when you're feeling very down. That sounds like a one way express train ticket to alcoholism. Beer and alcohol in general aren't a need in my life, so they've been very easy to avoid entirely.

[Leo656]

Shockingly, alcohol has the exact opposite effect on me and actually puts me in a great mood despite being a "depressant". My wife always jokes that she wishes I drank more because I'd be a lot easier to deal with.

I just couldn't handle being a daily drinker. I like to have a few drinks but I couldn't imagine waking up hungover with sour stomach every single day.

Which is where weed and CBD have been nothing short of miraculous. Lifelong insomnia? Gone. Chronic neck pain? Greatly diminished. Arthritis in all my joints? Practically pain-free. It also keeps me feeling upbeat but with none of the side effects of alcohol. I'm glad I didn't dabble as a kid because when you're young it can literally stifle your brain development, but as an adult it's been a life-saver.

[Wesley]

I imagine dimensional limbo to be a void of nothingness like the one from the TMNT 1987 series and Spider-Man: TAS.

I believe in God and the afterlife.

[Prowler]

Originally Posted by Leo656

Shockingly, alcohol has the exact opposite effect on me and actually puts me in a great mood despite being a "depressant". My wife always jokes that she wishes I drank more because I'd be a lot easier to deal with.

I just couldn't handle being a daily drinker. I like to have a few drinks but I couldn't imagine waking up hungover with sour stomach every single day.

Which is where weed and CBD have been nothing short of miraculous. Lifelong insomnia? Gone. Chronic neck pain? Greatly diminished. Arthritis in all my joints? Practically pain-free. It also keeps me feeling upbeat but with none of the side effects of alcohol. I'm glad I didn't dabble as a kid because when you're young it can literally stifle your brain development, but as an adult it's been a life-saver.

I mean sure getting tipsy is fun but hangovers are awful and once the effects wear off you just feel tired and empty inside. And swearing you will never drink again.

And beating alcoholism is worse than kicking heroin addiction. An alcoholic who tries to quit cold turkey without medical treatment is very likely to die from seizures. Alcoholism is a very serious condition.

Originally Posted by Wesley

I imagine dimensional limbo to be a void of nothingness like the one from the TMNT 1987 series and Spider-Man: TAS.

I believe in God and the afterlife.

So something like the place Fly Baxter Stockman was stuck in? Gotcha.

Well, that's the biggest benefit from religion and faith, I'd say. Believing in a possible afterlife.

That being said not all religious people feel the same way. My uncle, when his wife died, said he did not believe we went to a better place after death. He was very sad by my aunt's death, so that might have changed his beliefs a bit.

[Prowler]

I've been back on meds since Monday. Taking the antidepressant I was taking before and something else im meant to take for about 20 days to help with my anxiety and sleep problems.

They always take a while until you start noticing any significant differences, but looks like I've already been starting to have strange dreams again. What's with antidepressants and strange dreams lol

My depression is chronic btw. Some might get seasonal ones or depressions linked to personal tragedies they experience like loss of a loved one. Well, in my case, there doesn't seem to be any environmental cause for my depression. Which is what makes it so frustrating. Feeling bad and being unable to explain why. I guess it's just a chemical imbalance in the brain of some sort.