The Real Reason Eastman and Laird Broke up! (Repost for new members)
 

This was written by myself and Leo656 a few years back and whenever I show it to people they get a good laugh out of it. I thought maybe some of the new members might enjoy the joke. And remember, it's JUST a joke, we don't actually hate Peter Laird.

DATE LINE JUNE 11 2003

For several years people have debated over the real reason for the break up of Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, creators of the mega-popular Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise. However today, we have recieved word as to what the OFFICIAL reason is. Money? Control? Power? Fame? Surprisingly, no. According to Kevin Eastman, Peter Laird just "Flipped his lid".
"We just started going in completely different creative directions. The problem really started when I realized that the possibility was very strong that Peter had never seen a naked woman.. I tried to show him the latest cover of Heavy Metal I was working on, and he flipped his lid and yelled, and I quote, 'Master Splinter would not approve!' I was just like, What the F*CK are you talking about?"

Kevin went on to tell us that Peter then began throwing plastic sais at him and yelling "Get out of our Secret Lair, Shredder!!!"

"I tried to mend fences, really," Kevin told us, referring to his attempts to contact Laird after his emotional breakdown. "I went to his house with his birthday present... rang the bell, he wouldnt open the door, just looked at me through the window... he started yelling about how he'd 'never join forces with an evildoer like you'... I could barely see it, but he was wearing his Ninja Turtle pajamas under his suit. Donatello, it was. I was so ashamed...."

Our reporter failed to contact Peter Laird for comment. Upon attempting to call his home, all that was heard was an answering machine tape which said the following:

"Kevin Eastman? WHO CARES about Kevin Eastman?! He meant NOTHING to this franchise! SO WHAT if he sleeps with Julie Strain? I have my deluxe Mirage Leonardo statue with RED bandana! Do you hear me?! RED! REEEEEEED!!!"

Our reporter could not resist asking Kevin one final question: Does he make his wife, model Julie Strain, sing the Ninja Turtles theme song during "suiet moments"?

Kevin smiled upon hearing the question. "Of course," he replied. "And every time she gets the names mixed up, it's a donkey punch."
--Reporter Gregory Helms, Northampton Gazette

OMFG!!! I was giggling hystaricly over this!! I loved it! :lol: :D

Glad you liked it :)

*laughs so loud and then explodes :dead:*

Hahaha oh god, poor Laird.

Man I miss Leo656.

Hahaha, that was good, glad you decided to put it back up. :lol:

Ok, I didnt think it was that funny until I read this, then I literally fell out of my chair. "

Kevin smiled upon hearing the question. "Of course," he replied. "And every time she gets the names mixed up, it's a donkey punch."

I laughed so hard, I started coughing.

Oh Man, this is awesome. I read it somewhere before and it had me laughing for quite a while. And it happened again! I am still laughing.

Poor Petey...but maybe that's hope for me that I'll create a memorable franchise...but loose my marbles along the way...

HAHA! I remember this! :lol:

A legendary duo, Leo656 and Grunger Kittie. 8)

*salutes*

Mmm hm. first time i read that, i had no idea what the hell a donkey punch was... it makes so much sense now :lol:

*laughs so much brain jumps out of body* .........................................

I really miss the Dynamic Duo of GK and leo.:(

Thanks for reposting this, GK. I needed a good laugh.:)

Oh. Dear. God. I just found out what a donkey punch is... O_O

Information best left unknown. :dead:

All you need to know is that it's really, REALLY bad and disgusting.

If you really wanna know, PM me. I'm not about to post it here.

All you have to do is to use Google or Wikipedia, duh.

PM it to me, too. Please.:P

holy crap. go read the wikipedia definition. I especially like the explaination of the "tony danza"

The donkey punch line was one of Leo's addition's if I remember right. When I wrote the first draft that line wasn't there, but I think he added it to the second draft. And there was no way in hell I could cut that line out. That's one of my favorite lines. That and "MASTER SPLINTER WOULD NOT APPROVE!"

Oh, don't worry, Kittie. I don't have too much of a problem with it. I know it's just thrown in there for silly humour anyway. :)

That was always my favourite line. I could just picture Laird screaming that out. Hilarious.

My favourite part is the bit with the plastic sais and the one with the Donatello pajamas. :lol:

HILARIOUS!!! After all these years, I finally know the TRUTH!!! :P

:lol: That was pretty funny!

I read this when I was like 12 and believed it lol

The stuff about Laird seems legit. :lol: