Physical and mental health thread
 

Like it says, y'all - this is a thread for anyone with physical or mental health issues to come and vent, share, support and more (or hell, even if you know someone who is having an issue along those lines).

I thought it might be a good idea to have a thread for people when they're going through a rough patch physically or mentally; give people in the 'drome who might not necessarily have one a support network.

It's happening to me now. I was utterly humiliated today, as if I didn't suffer enough. I get punished for trying to be happy a lot and right now, I think I lost all my hope that I'll ever be happy again. :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(

So sorry to hear that, Icebot. Humiliation is never a good thing to deal with and the person who did that to you should be sorry they did it.

Icebot I'm sorry for your troubles, I've been in some pretty dark places myself and wondered the same. Please do hold on to hope though, things will get better and cliched as it sounds, a great healer for any humiliation is time, it will pass.

Sorry to hear that Icebot :( we are all here if you wish to share.

I have mental health issues, but they are usually under control. Been in some dark places though and been struggling these last few weeks. Been missing my medication.

Hey Dave and Icebot - sorry to hear that you're struggling atm; please don't be afraid to ask for help though.

There are several people on the forums who've dealt with depression and anxiety - so even though it feels like you're alone and nobody could possibly understand, that's just the depression talking. It's a hard thing to fight, so just try to go easy on yourself until you're back on your feet.

I also have major depressive disorder, but as long as I take my meds I'm just like everybody else. Doesn't mean I'm happy all the time, doesn't mean I never get sad, it just means my brain chemicals are balanced out enough that I don't have uncontrollable lows, I can actually feel happy, I can think rationally and I don't flip out over things.

It was a bit of a struggle for me to admit that I actually needed medication because I felt it made me weak, that there was nothing really wrong with me, that I should be able to beat it on my own, that depression wasn't a real illness and it just made me a failure - my brain was throwing out all sorts of unhelpful stuff at me because I couldn't think rationally at that stage. For a long time I tried to tough it out on just natural remedies or cold turkey, but it didn't help. I tried psychologists and psychiatrists - didn't help. When I finally did start trying medications, it was very hard because I just have a naturally high resistance to a lot of medication (I don't know why, it's just my metabolism, even as a kid a lot of stuff just had no effect on me - carsickness tablets, panadol, etc), so it took a really long time to find a medication that worked for me.

Because of that, I lost a very big chunk of my 20's to depression and anxiety before I finally managed to get it under control. (And a bonus bout of PTSD from some other stuff but I won't go into that here). I had zero quality of life for a very long time.

When I finally came out of the tunnel and was able to actually feel feelings again, I rediscovered my passion for TMNT - it was the first thing that I'd actually been able to feel happy about in years. So for that reason, the Turtles are really important to me because they represent the fact that I made it through the bad times and found my way back to myself, and became a stronger person as a result of all the crud that I went through.

Anyway, the point of my infodump overshare is not to rattle on about myself, but just to say - you're not alone, there are people here who do understand if you ever want to talk to them, and don't give up fighting. Remember to be kind to yourself - you are worth more than you think you are.

Thanks. Your words mean a lot to myself, and I'm sure Icebot as well.

Your situation mirrors mine - I struggled for a long time as well, and the medication has the same effect on me - has a balancing effect, rather than making me hit the high notes. The Turtles are a big part of what keeps me healthy too so I really know how you feel. I'm glad you're feeling a lot better now though :)

Thanks everyone. I had a better day today than the last 2 days. I didn't have to deal with the humiliation that I did yesterday. I'd say things are better for now but it could change by next weekend.

Well just hang in there Icebot and Dave - and if you feel things starting to slip, that's what this thread is for ok? You just come in here and vent.

In the meantime, make sure you eat well and get plenty of sleep, because if you're depressed it can really mess with your immune system.

Glad to hear things are looking up for you, Icebot.

I had a lot of anxiety when I was in college and was really hard on myself about succeeding. Once I graduated, I felt that sense of accomplishment at finally achieving the goal, and that made me feel better. Then the economy took a dive and while I tried to look for jobs, nothing seemed to work. I was very upset and really felt that things couldn't get better. But now I just take it one day at a time and don't worry about it at all. At least I have a place to live, food on the table, and clothes on my back.

Now the thing that causes me stress is the drama with my sis. She just won't stop.

Sorry to hear that Bubbly (about the sister thing, I mean). There really needs to be a facility where people can just ship their annoying relatives. Keep 'em in a crate, feed them bread and water and only let them out when they agree to stop behaving like utter pillocks. :lol:

Yes, exactly. I'm just so sick of the drama.

So I suffer from a disease that affects the nerves and tendons in my feet and ankles, and causes muscle and tissue decay.
It's slowly progressive and gets worse over time. As of now, I have very weak ankles, and some slight foot deformity, which causes me to have poor balance and trip quite a bit. On top of this, I walk awkwardly, enough that if I walk by you you wouldn't notice, but if you stood there watching me walk for a few seconds, you could tell something was off. From all this, my feet are almost always in pain, which makes it painful to stand or walk for long periods of time, and I roll/sprain my ankles pretty consistently. And all of this will get worse as I get older.

Being in high school, possibly the least accepting crowd of people you can think of it, is difficult. I've had a couple issues with people, teasing or making comments, but I've dealt with them and luckily they haven't happened too often. Other than that, I just always feel like that's what others will notice about me, is how I walk, how my feet look etc. And that has actually caused me to develop a form of anxiety, which just makes it worse. Like most high school kids, I'm just trying to fit in, and honestly i have done a decent job. I do well in school, in the top 10% of my class, have good friends, involved in a ton of different extra curricular things, have a job. But because of my disease I'm always worried about people judging me for it, because I know people have. Plus, participating in things, like gym class, or standing in student sections for football games for 3 hours, are painful and uncomfortable for me.

Sorry to hear that, Electric! I can imagine that it must be hard for you, worrying about being judged by your peers - being a teen isn't easy at the best of times. I know it sounds trite, but really, anyone who'd judge you based on your disease isn't worth your time.

As far as being self conscious about how you walk... don't be. So you don't walk the way most other people do - so what? You walk the way that you do. A penguin doesn't beat itself up because it walks differently from a seagull - it just keeps going on walking like a penguin and it don't care. You know why? Cuz penguins are freaking awesome. Did seagulls get a documentary about them voiced by Morgan Freeman? Nope! (Hope that didn't come out wrong; I tend to try to use humor to make other people feel better. Laughing at your fears can sometimes help with anxiety.).

Seriously though - I hope things get easier for you. Til then, hold your head high and ignore the seagulls. And remember to be kind to yourself. You should see if you're able to be excused from gym and football games if they're causing you pain. Honestly, it sounds like you're doing a great job of coping - other people might notice, but most of them are probably not paying nearly as much attention to it as you're afraid they are.

Hope this has helped, and that it didn't come off prattish or lecture-y?

Thanks. And don't worry, you sounded fine!

I know probably 90% of my worry is just me overthinking it, but I'm a teen, that's what we do best. It's always on my mind worrying if others are watching or noticing how I walk. And it's not a situation I can avoid, because it's walking, so anytime I'm anywhere it can be all that I think about, which is where my anxiety comes in.

As far as gym goes, I've luckily gotten it out the way already. Thing is, I'm not really that un athletic. As far as the rest of my body goes I'm fine. Just feet and ankles, which makes running difficult. But miraculously I still play lacrosse for my school, just one of the slower guys on the team. Of course I wear athletic braces which help my balance and keep me from rolling my ankles, but my feet are just In pain constantly when I wear them. It's something I just have to play through, kind of a lesser of two evils thing. And then add in me worrying of people noticing my braces.

football games were just an example, something that involves standing or walking for awhile. I don't have to go, I want to. It's part of being a high schooler that I enjoy. Again it just comes back to my feet being in pain while I'm standing there, and for awhile after.

I try my best to not let it impact me, and I really appreciate your response. It just affects a huge part of my life, so it's hard to get around.

I'm really glad I found this page, because outside of like family, I never talk to anyone about this.

Ah, I understand re the sports thing now... I always hated those things so it didn't occur to me that you might actually want to go to it! :)

Regardless, I'm glad you're finding the thread helpful - I know we have a few people with health issues so I wanted there to be a space where people can come to vent or even ask advice.

Don't feel bad for overthinking - I wish I had some helpful suggestions re pain relief. Does your doctor have any kind of treatment plan to help you deal with these things as the disease progresses? Sorry if that is a stupid question; I don't really know much about your type of condition.

Don't worry about it! Honestly just talking to anyone about it helps. So thanks for that!

There's not much as far as pain relief, other than staying off my feet. I've tried everything from shoe inserts to wraps, doesn't make a dent. Just have to deal with the pain.

I'm virtually a hermit these days, I don't go outside a whole lot unless it's the backyard. It's strange because in the years following my mental breakdown I was outside all of the time but now I can't bring myself to even take a quick spin around the block or nip over to the shops for a drink. This is partially due to my crippling fear of dogs, I have'nt went near a park since two dogs off of their leashes and ran to me, and I went off on one to their owner, my friend had to apologize on behalf of me because I was on the other end of the park swearing blindly at the woman and calling her thick for playing with her pets in the midst of a car park.:(

Sorry to hear that, Zarius. :(

Yeah, it's a bummer, I'm going to have to deal with it eventually as I'm starting to put on some pounds and the exercise is lacking at the moment

I hate big dogs too. Can't say I have a fear of them but I purposely don't walk near them while I'm on the street.

For me it´s even worse.....:ohwell:
I don´t like big dogs (or dogs generally), buuuut all dogs I met want to play with me, or they want to lick my arms with their ridiculous large tongues.

One thing that bothers me is, that I become thiner.
I am not losing weight (maybe my fat is now muscle mass :D), but my jeans are too big now and it´s tiresome to buy new ones...

I do not trust those huge dogs at all. Especially when you hear stories on the news of a 5 year old boy who had his leg torn off by a dog owned by a neighbor.

Those huge dogs can snap at anytime and attack you if they think you're a threat. Protect any children from them at all costs.

I'm kinda wary of dogs as well. When I was younger I used to even cross to the other side of the street to avoid walking past one, especially if it wasn't on the leash. I sorta overcame that problem and have no problem walking past most of them now since the most they usually do is smell your pants/legs. Btw, small dogs tend to be more aggressive than big dogs from my experience. But yea, I'm not trusting a Dobberman or a Rottweiler. Especially since their owners tend to be aggressive looking burly guys who most likely just got them for status and self-defense. People who view animals as weapons should have their pets taken away from them, imo. And even small dogs, it blows my mind when I see someone walking a Pittbull and unleashing it in a public garden full of families. They love to go on and on how Pittbulls aren't naturally aggressive but notice how every dog owner tends to say that their dog is harmless.

Other than a slight wariness of dogs, I don't really have any phobia. I do tend to OCD about irrelevant things more than I should, though. Strangely, it's harder to beat such habits than one thinks. When I was a kid, I used to wash my hands quite often.

Hi health thread, what do you do when you want to admit yourself to the ER and you have no hospital in your town

I hate myself lol

Hey Net - hope you're doing ok. *hugs*

I suppose I should add my two cents in the thread; as I've mentioned, my depression's acting up a little bit (for the first time since I started a medication that actually worked for me... so around two years or so). Hence why I'm not posting as much as usual.

I meant to go to the doctor this weekend but stuff's gotten busy so I'll have to reschedule for another couple of weeks - hopefully the doc will either increase my meds, or give me something that'll combine with it to give my system a bit of a kick in the ass.

In the meantime, I've quit all alcohol and caffeine for a while, I'm trying to get more sunlight and exercise as well as trying to keep a lid on my sugar intake, cuz I just feel tired, irritable and flat over absolutely nothing yet still can't sleep well.

Of course, what's most annoying is the fact that the meds I'm on already have a negative affect on my physical libido as it is (mental libido never quits on me!!) - so increasing my dose or adding something to it is just going to make it worse. Which I know seems like a petty thing to complain about, but I'm 30 years old and I resent not having the kind of physical sex drive which I know I have when I don't take medication.

It could be worse, I mean, I've been far more depressed than this - it's just that I have this huge fear of the illness coming back full strength and ending up where I was a few years ago.

I'm doing a bit better since I posted that, but lately, it just seems like my depressive moods have gotten more frequent and more intense as time goes on. All I can do is sit around and wait and it's taking a huge toll on me. I just wish I could do something. Anything.

sorry to hear about all this net and penny

penny, the fact that youre dropping alcohol/caffiene and getting some sun and excercise is great. from anything ive read or heard excercise is a great way to help with depression, as it also makes you healthier too

Thanks, Electric.

Net, are you able to at least see a doctor and see whether they can give you something to get over the rough patch?

I have seizures, they are uncontrollable right now and I've had them my whole life since I was a baby. Matter of fact I almost died from one when I was a baby, they are hard to deal with at times.

Some people have only one type of seizure, my brains filled with different types and is active with them daily and night time too. I even have some in my sleep, my body acts different when they are over, my body tends to shut down and takes a while to heal so I have to sleep it off a bit in order get on with my life.

Thing about seizures, they can also cause my emotions to go nuts a at times, mostly depression.

Over all, that's what I have to live with every day pretty much. I'll have rare days that I don't have any.

I'm not the only one that has these, many people do. Just like I said, different types, some could have more than one type or just one. I knew one girl or saw it on TV who'd have one every second and a hard time living.

Sorry to hear that Leo - that must be really hard for you. :(

I don't know what happened to me.

I was doing wonderfully a few minutes ago. As soon as I shut the door to my room I suddenly started feeling completely awful and once again pining for a doctor. I think I'm getting worse -- I want to cry but I can't will myself to even do that. My physical body hardly feels attached any more. I don't feel anything but a downward sort of sadness. It's almost like I'm on a drug right now, except I'm not. I feel like a lost, hopeless cause, and that I'll never truly be fixed and I'll end up dead soon, but I can't make myself care enough about it to cry.

Of course this has to happen when everyone in my house is asleep and I can't ask for any help.

You gotta have faith, Faith in yourself. You are not a hopeless cause. Your a person of value and you are here for a reason. Don't will yourself to die, fight. And if you need to seek help, do so. Don't be ashamed!

I feel ya. Me and the wife had another blow-up. Honestly? I'd like to bring the whole place down in flames and send us both to f*cking Hell. Nobody will ever convince me life is worth living. Every single day, when I'm falling asleep, I think to myself, "Man, I hope I don't wake up." But I always do. If it wasn't her it'd be something else.

I don't want to get too deep into it like last time. I just wish I was never born or wasn't such a coward so I could just finish it myself already. It's not going to get better, and I know that. Sick of trying.

Started typing a long letter to my sister that's morphing into what would be a pretty amazing suicide note. If it comes to that, I'll be sure and pass it around before I go. Heavily weighing all options right this moment. Everyone's asleep but me. It would be perfect.

I don't want to talk about why. I just want to make everything stop. I never asked for any of this. Being here. I curse every day. Things get so bad so fast, and stay that way. There's pills right over there, but I'm scared I won't take enough. I don't even know what they do. I heard you just go to sleep, but how would anyone know, really? I don't want to come back, if I go. Just disappear.

I probably won't. Coward. Just keep pretending to live. I promise, if I go, today, tomorrow, whenever, I will say goodbye first. You all deserve to read the letter, at least. It's almost beautiful. And I've put you through a lot. I know that. You deserve to understand, if/when.

Sorry for this. I am. I'm just broken. I truly believe that people who were not meant to be here are made that way, broken. As was made clear to me many times, I was not meant to be here. They told me so. Over and over again. Maybe that's why I'm broken. Made that way. Makes sense.

Net and Leo656 - I know it seems like the most pointless thing you could do right now, and fighting back against this big black cr*ppy cloud in your head is the last thing you feel like doing - but hang on, even if it hurts.

I understand how you both feel. It's ok to not feel ok, guys. You don't have to walk around with a big smile when you're feeling rotten. You're both great people who are just going through a lot of sh*t right now, and that doesn't make you bad people, it doesn't make you hopeless and it doesn't make you irreparably broken.

And hey, it's ok to have a few cracks here and there. You know why? Because those cracks are part of what makes you the person that you are right now, and that person is not someone to be ashamed of.

http://www.deeprootsathome.com/wp-co...852144_n-1.jpg

You are good, interesting, funny people - and you deserve to be happy. You are absolutely worthwhile, and you are already good enough.

http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/8045...1339014088.jpg

If you need me, please PM me ok? If you need to see a doctor, or call someone - please do. Depression is an illness, just like diabetes or asthma. If you were diabetic and you were having a low blood sugar attack, you'd get the help you needed to feel better. It's the same thing with depression - it doesn't make you weak or defective to ask for help, and you DO deserve it, no matter what that voice inside your head is telling you. You deserve help, you deserve happiness and you deserve to be loved.

Leo, you're not a failure, and you are more than the sum of your mistakes. Net, you're not a freak and you belong in this world as much as anybody else. You both only see flaws in yourselves - I see two special, unique, witty, intelligent, caring people who are different from other people and who I like specifically because of that. You're both really great people. I know you don't believe me, but I'm going to keep saying it until one day you realize it's true.

You aren't alone, even if it feels that way.

http://38.media.tumblr.com/514b5ea63...u8e5o1_500.png

"Red eyes...
Just keep my heart beating...
Your secret's safe with me...
Just drive...
I've broken our mirror
So our past won't look so tempting...

I never thought it'd feel this good to quit!
Failure tastes so sweet!
I'm not afraid anymore...
Forgive Me...

I'll swing here...
I'll hang from this rope...
Just at least until they've found me.
Stay close, dear...
The note on the floor says,
'I wish that you were here...'

I never thought it'd feel this good to quit!
Failure tastes so sweet!
I'm not afraid anymore...
Forgive Me...

So long to the future...
I never had a chance anyway!
So when I use my uses I get a problem with my brain...
This is a problem so intense
I cannot explain...
Over and over...
Which way to turn?!
There's no way out...
At this point I'm not concerned!

I never thought it'd feel this good to quit!
Failure tastes so sweet...
I'm not afraid anymore...
Forgive Me..."





I am in a very dark place.

Please find a light in life Leo, you're valued here greatly by a lot of us here. I was in the place you were in way back in 2010, where I met so many people on the brink of collapse, and it made me realize how much I wanted to stay and keep fighting for what I beleive in.

It has'nt been easy for me either these last few years, I'm more afraid of dogs than ever, I can't walk down the street to buy a magazine because I'm afraid of groups of people, kids especially because I don't trust them, I hate being inside a shop filled with comic books as it sends me into instant feelings of resentment and anxiety attacks. Even last night I had trouble with a friend with OCD who does'nt like sitting through the end credits of a movie and he made a bit of a scene, and I did'nt know how to take it.

I know this does'nt exactly sound like a pick-me-up, but trust me I'm getting to the point...

There are terrible people in terrible posistions and it angers me every day that most people are so low in standard and weak that they allow those jerks to be succcesful at what they do even if they do nothing but abuse their power, but they don't win, because somewhere in some bright corner of life, there exists options. Every so often I find places, communities, where every word I've said against that sort of system is vindicated, I am not alone, you are not alone, none of us are alone, we can be brought together on many a fun topic, focus on the light-hearted irreverency of life rather than the futile side of it.

Trying to stay distracted in idle chatter.

In Scotland we call that a "blether":)

I'm Irish. We say, "F*ck Scotland." :lol:

Nah, nah, just clownin' dawg. We good, playa, we good.8)

I needed some yuks today.