Physical and mental health thread

[pennydreadful]

Like it says, y'all - this is a thread for anyone with physical or mental health issues to come and vent, share, support and more (or hell, even if you know someone who is having an issue along those lines).

I thought it might be a good idea to have a thread for people when they're going through a rough patch physically or mentally; give people in the 'drome who might not necessarily have one a support network.

[Icebot]

It's happening to me now. I was utterly humiliated today, as if I didn't suffer enough. I get punished for trying to be happy a lot and right now, I think I lost all my hope that I'll ever be happy again.

[BubblyShell22]

So sorry to hear that, Icebot. Humiliation is never a good thing to deal with and the person who did that to you should be sorry they did it.

[Blossombrooks]

Icebot I'm sorry for your troubles, I've been in some pretty dark places myself and wondered the same. Please do hold on to hope though, things will get better and cliched as it sounds, a great healer for any humiliation is time, it will pass.

[Davetello]

Sorry to hear that Icebot we are all here if you wish to share.

I have mental health issues, but they are usually under control. Been in some dark places though and been struggling these last few weeks. Been missing my medication.

[pennydreadful]

Hey Dave and Icebot - sorry to hear that you're struggling atm; please don't be afraid to ask for help though.

There are several people on the forums who've dealt with depression and anxiety - so even though it feels like you're alone and nobody could possibly understand, that's just the depression talking. It's a hard thing to fight, so just try to go easy on yourself until you're back on your feet.

I also have major depressive disorder, but as long as I take my meds I'm just like everybody else. Doesn't mean I'm happy all the time, doesn't mean I never get sad, it just means my brain chemicals are balanced out enough that I don't have uncontrollable lows, I can actually feel happy, I can think rationally and I don't flip out over things.

It was a bit of a struggle for me to admit that I actually needed medication because I felt it made me weak, that there was nothing really wrong with me, that I should be able to beat it on my own, that depression wasn't a real illness and it just made me a failure - my brain was throwing out all sorts of unhelpful stuff at me because I couldn't think rationally at that stage. For a long time I tried to tough it out on just natural remedies or cold turkey, but it didn't help. I tried psychologists and psychiatrists - didn't help. When I finally did start trying medications, it was very hard because I just have a naturally high resistance to a lot of medication (I don't know why, it's just my metabolism, even as a kid a lot of stuff just had no effect on me - carsickness tablets, panadol, etc), so it took a really long time to find a medication that worked for me.

Because of that, I lost a very big chunk of my 20's to depression and anxiety before I finally managed to get it under control. (And a bonus bout of PTSD from some other stuff but I won't go into that here). I had zero quality of life for a very long time.

When I finally came out of the tunnel and was able to actually feel feelings again, I rediscovered my passion for TMNT - it was the first thing that I'd actually been able to feel happy about in years. So for that reason, the Turtles are really important to me because they represent the fact that I made it through the bad times and found my way back to myself, and became a stronger person as a result of all the crud that I went through.

Anyway, the point of my infodump overshare is not to rattle on about myself, but just to say - you're not alone, there are people here who do understand if you ever want to talk to them, and don't give up fighting. Remember to be kind to yourself - you are worth more than you think you are.

[Davetello]

Originally Posted by pennydreadful

Hey Dave and Icebot - sorry to hear that you're struggling atm; please don't be afraid to ask for help though.

There are several people on the forums who've dealt with depression and anxiety - so even though it feels like you're alone and nobody could possibly understand, that's just the depression talking. It's a hard thing to fight, so just try to go easy on yourself until you're back on your feet.

I also have major depressive disorder, but as long as I take my meds I'm just like everybody else. Doesn't mean I'm happy all the time, doesn't mean I never get sad, it just means my brain chemicals are balanced out enough that I don't have uncontrollable lows, I can actually feel happy, I can think rationally and I don't flip out over things.

It was a bit of a struggle for me to admit that I actually needed medication because I felt it made me weak, that there was nothing really wrong with me, that I should be able to beat it on my own, that depression wasn't a real illness and it just made me a failure - my brain was throwing out all sorts of unhelpful stuff at me because I couldn't think rationally at that stage. For a long time I tried to tough it out on just natural remedies or cold turkey, but it didn't help. I tried psychologists and psychiatrists - didn't help. When I finally did start trying medications, it was very hard because I just have a naturally high resistance to a lot of medication (I don't know why, it's just my metabolism, even as a kid a lot of stuff just had no effect on me - carsickness tablets, panadol, etc), so it took a really long time to find a medication that worked for me.

Because of that, I lost a very big chunk of my 20's to depression and anxiety before I finally managed to get it under control. (And a bonus bout of PTSD from some other stuff but I won't go into that here). I had zero quality of life for a very long time.

When I finally came out of the tunnel and was able to actually feel feelings again, I rediscovered my passion for TMNT - it was the first thing that I'd actually been able to feel happy about in years. So for that reason, the Turtles are really important to me because they represent the fact that I made it through the bad times and found my way back to myself, and became a stronger person as a result of all the crud that I went through.

Anyway, the point of my infodump overshare is not to rattle on about myself, but just to say - you're not alone, there are people here who do understand if you ever want to talk to them, and don't give up fighting. Remember to be kind to yourself - you are worth more than you think you are.

Thanks. Your words mean a lot to myself, and I'm sure Icebot as well.

Your situation mirrors mine - I struggled for a long time as well, and the medication has the same effect on me - has a balancing effect, rather than making me hit the high notes. The Turtles are a big part of what keeps me healthy too so I really know how you feel. I'm glad you're feeling a lot better now though

[Icebot]

Thanks everyone. I had a better day today than the last 2 days. I didn't have to deal with the humiliation that I did yesterday. I'd say things are better for now but it could change by next weekend.

[pennydreadful]

Well just hang in there Icebot and Dave - and if you feel things starting to slip, that's what this thread is for ok? You just come in here and vent.

In the meantime, make sure you eat well and get plenty of sleep, because if you're depressed it can really mess with your immune system.

[BubblyShell22]

Glad to hear things are looking up for you, Icebot.

I had a lot of anxiety when I was in college and was really hard on myself about succeeding. Once I graduated, I felt that sense of accomplishment at finally achieving the goal, and that made me feel better. Then the economy took a dive and while I tried to look for jobs, nothing seemed to work. I was very upset and really felt that things couldn't get better. But now I just take it one day at a time and don't worry about it at all. At least I have a place to live, food on the table, and clothes on my back.

Now the thing that causes me stress is the drama with my sis. She just won't stop.

[pennydreadful]

Sorry to hear that Bubbly (about the sister thing, I mean). There really needs to be a facility where people can just ship their annoying relatives. Keep 'em in a crate, feed them bread and water and only let them out when they agree to stop behaving like utter pillocks.

[BubblyShell22]

Yes, exactly. I'm just so sick of the drama.

[Electric]

So I suffer from a disease that affects the nerves and tendons in my feet and ankles, and causes muscle and tissue decay.
It's slowly progressive and gets worse over time. As of now, I have very weak ankles, and some slight foot deformity, which causes me to have poor balance and trip quite a bit. On top of this, I walk awkwardly, enough that if I walk by you you wouldn't notice, but if you stood there watching me walk for a few seconds, you could tell something was off. From all this, my feet are almost always in pain, which makes it painful to stand or walk for long periods of time, and I roll/sprain my ankles pretty consistently. And all of this will get worse as I get older.

Being in high school, possibly the least accepting crowd of people you can think of it, is difficult. I've had a couple issues with people, teasing or making comments, but I've dealt with them and luckily they haven't happened too often. Other than that, I just always feel like that's what others will notice about me, is how I walk, how my feet look etc. And that has actually caused me to develop a form of anxiety, which just makes it worse. Like most high school kids, I'm just trying to fit in, and honestly i have done a decent job. I do well in school, in the top 10% of my class, have good friends, involved in a ton of different extra curricular things, have a job. But because of my disease I'm always worried about people judging me for it, because I know people have. Plus, participating in things, like gym class, or standing in student sections for football games for 3 hours, are painful and uncomfortable for me.

[pennydreadful]

Sorry to hear that, Electric! I can imagine that it must be hard for you, worrying about being judged by your peers - being a teen isn't easy at the best of times. I know it sounds trite, but really, anyone who'd judge you based on your disease isn't worth your time.

As far as being self conscious about how you walk... don't be. So you don't walk the way most other people do - so what? You walk the way that you do. A penguin doesn't beat itself up because it walks differently from a seagull - it just keeps going on walking like a penguin and it don't care. You know why? Cuz penguins are freaking awesome. Did seagulls get a documentary about them voiced by Morgan Freeman? Nope! (Hope that didn't come out wrong; I tend to try to use humor to make other people feel better. Laughing at your fears can sometimes help with anxiety.).

Seriously though - I hope things get easier for you. Til then, hold your head high and ignore the seagulls. And remember to be kind to yourself. You should see if you're able to be excused from gym and football games if they're causing you pain. Honestly, it sounds like you're doing a great job of coping - other people might notice, but most of them are probably not paying nearly as much attention to it as you're afraid they are.

Hope this has helped, and that it didn't come off prattish or lecture-y?

[Electric]

Thanks. And don't worry, you sounded fine!

I know probably 90% of my worry is just me overthinking it, but I'm a teen, that's what we do best. It's always on my mind worrying if others are watching or noticing how I walk. And it's not a situation I can avoid, because it's walking, so anytime I'm anywhere it can be all that I think about, which is where my anxiety comes in.

As far as gym goes, I've luckily gotten it out the way already. Thing is, I'm not really that un athletic. As far as the rest of my body goes I'm fine. Just feet and ankles, which makes running difficult. But miraculously I still play lacrosse for my school, just one of the slower guys on the team. Of course I wear athletic braces which help my balance and keep me from rolling my ankles, but my feet are just In pain constantly when I wear them. It's something I just have to play through, kind of a lesser of two evils thing. And then add in me worrying of people noticing my braces.

football games were just an example, something that involves standing or walking for awhile. I don't have to go, I want to. It's part of being a high schooler that I enjoy. Again it just comes back to my feet being in pain while I'm standing there, and for awhile after.

I try my best to not let it impact me, and I really appreciate your response. It just affects a huge part of my life, so it's hard to get around.

I'm really glad I found this page, because outside of like family, I never talk to anyone about this.

[pennydreadful]

Ah, I understand re the sports thing now... I always hated those things so it didn't occur to me that you might actually want to go to it!

Regardless, I'm glad you're finding the thread helpful - I know we have a few people with health issues so I wanted there to be a space where people can come to vent or even ask advice.

Don't feel bad for overthinking - I wish I had some helpful suggestions re pain relief. Does your doctor have any kind of treatment plan to help you deal with these things as the disease progresses? Sorry if that is a stupid question; I don't really know much about your type of condition.

[Electric]

Don't worry about it! Honestly just talking to anyone about it helps. So thanks for that!

There's not much as far as pain relief, other than staying off my feet. I've tried everything from shoe inserts to wraps, doesn't make a dent. Just have to deal with the pain.

[ZariusTwo]

I'm virtually a hermit these days, I don't go outside a whole lot unless it's the backyard. It's strange because in the years following my mental breakdown I was outside all of the time but now I can't bring myself to even take a quick spin around the block or nip over to the shops for a drink. This is partially due to my crippling fear of dogs, I have'nt went near a park since two dogs off of their leashes and ran to me, and I went off on one to their owner, my friend had to apologize on behalf of me because I was on the other end of the park swearing blindly at the woman and calling her thick for playing with her pets in the midst of a car park.

[pennydreadful]

Sorry to hear that, Zarius.

[ZariusTwo]

Yeah, it's a bummer, I'm going to have to deal with it eventually as I'm starting to put on some pounds and the exercise is lacking at the moment